Breaking the "Friend Zone"

[akthung]

Hello Gals.

I would like to see your POVs. I think this applies to both sexes as i've had PMs from our fellow Gtalkers in the past about this subject: breaking the Friend Zone.

Do you believe that its breakable ? or once a woman sizes a man upon meeting him the first time--its unbreakable na?

if its breakable, as a woman, what can do you suggest that guys do?

now on the other hand,

what should women do to break the friend zone with their Male prospects?

(Guytalker's feel free to answer)



hmmm.....mahirap po ba tong tanong ko?

[prettykhae]

sa unang date, mahirap yung biglaan e... take it slow... depende sa klase ng girls e.. may ibang girls, they take the first move. some are shy and tend to keep their feelings a secret until the guy tells her that he likes her too.

[akthung]

mga torpe yan

sa guys, kung gusto nyo yung girl, say your intentions na. but wag kayong mage-expect kagad ng sagot or wag seryosohin yung maisasagot ng girl. baka kasi nabigla lang yung girl, kaya kung ano ano lang ang masabi...

sa part ng girl, mahirap. kasi hindi naman naging norm sa pinays na sya ang magsasabi eh. pero kung hindi mapigilan ni girl, siguro enough na yung ikiss sa cheeks si guy or ihug. maiintindihan naman na siguro yun ng guy.

hindi naman siguro lahat ay torpe. kasalanan na ng guy yun kung in the first place may gusto siya at hinayaan niyang umabot sa ganun.

but what if for x amount of time eh friends kayo tapos na inlab ka later...di ba

[tinytins]

medyo mahirap nga yung tanong...parang depende pa rin lahat sa situation, sa girl or sa boy or kung gano na katagal kayong friends.  May iba naman kasing girls...mas preferred nila friends tapos magkadevelopan.  Reason nila at least kilala mo na yung tao at hindi best foot forward like pag suitors. 

Kaso meron din namang babae...pag friends...friends lang talaga.  Parang walang talo talo.  Pero i think depende pa rin kasi. 

Depende rin kung gano katagal na kayong friends.  Kung saglit pa lang, yung friendship pedeng mapunta sa ligawan.  Kung matagal ng friends at tipong kababata pa or parang barkada o tropa, pedeng hanggang dun lang din ang gusto ng girl...plain friendship lang talaga. 

Depende rin kung bago kayo naging friends...kahit papano may konting attraction na pero naging friends muna kayo.  Pedeng mauwi sa relationship in the end.

Sa kin kasi...minsan pag tinuring ko na yung guy na friend from the start....parang di ko ma-imagine sarili ko in a relationship sa kanya.  Not unless bago kami naging friends e naging crush ko pala sya dati or kahit papano naattract ako sa kanya. 

So well...kelangan mo lang talaga mag take ng risk.  Decide if gusto mo ba maging kayo or hanggang friends lang. 

Kung sa kin naman nangyari yun na ma-in love ako sa friend ko, di ko ata kayang sabihin sa friend ko na gusto ko sya.  Hintayin ko sya na sya unang magsabi.  Nakakahiya pa rin kasi sa part ng babae yun.  Pede ko siguro magbigay ng hint or paramdam na medyo may gusto ko like extra sweet blah blah pero di ko pa rin kayang sabihin sa kanya.  May mga kilala ko na girls mas malakas loob at nasasabi nila ng diretso sa guy na gusto nila.  Pero yung 2 friends ko na kilala na yun...after nila sabihin sa guys, hindi naman din sila gusto.  Para tuloy silang nabasted.

[akthung]

^

Nice post sis.

I like this topic kasi mapapaisip ka talaga. Nangyari din sa akin eto years ago, i didnt know that my female best friend likes me pala. Kung kelan ako aalis ng Pinas tsaka dun lang sinabi.

[akthung]

Well i wanted to give it a chance kasi, when it happened, we've known each other for more than 10 years  and at that time we'd always go out, have fun and make telebabad sa bahay and i'd always call her sa office pa. bottom line, i was VERY comfortable with her.

 before having her then 1st bf, we knew each other so well na. In fact, when her bf was making ligaw pa lang he was so insecure with me kasi i know her deepest darkest side. tapos siya hindi. tapos during those times she would take time out just help me with one particular subject so we'd spend the late hours in school. (irony is, i am currently taking a master's degree in that subject). but anyway, eventually naging sila. but a few years later, the guy left for the US and they had an LDR. that LDR went down the drain years later. and she told me, if ever she'd decided to go with me, it would be another LDR. so ayun, yun ang decision niya. may point din naman siya. so kung saan siya masaya then so be it.

[aquacharly]

Breaking the "Friend Zone":

Is it breakable? -- Sure.  It is the most convenient and probable take-off zone to "More Than Friends Zone".
                         May not be the case 100% of the time, but it sure is more than 50% of the time.
                         A trite line, isn't it?:  We are friends and lovers.  So there.   

How a guy may go about to break this "Friend Zone"?   
Generally, it requires the guy to have the ability & consistency to convey with sincerity to the girl that she is a Significant Part, if not the Center, of his Universe.     
He must be able to convince her of her importance to him and his future.  (The future is critical coz that is what most girls yearn for.)     
Clue:  this is how "frogs"  are able to snag "princesses".   Something like:  "You alone matter most to me..."

Now, the other side of the fence...
Given that this "Friend Zone" is breakable, how does a girl move the guy further ahead to the "More Than Friends Zone"?
Make him feel cared for WITHOUT making him feel fenced in. 
Guys will defend their "freedom" loudly to Luneta and back; but will let a girl put him on a short leash if he has convinced himself that it is him who requires her to be on the short leash. 
She must make him believe that life with her is better & easier, and that the best is yet to come. 
              (Don't guys fall hard for "dangerous" girls, only to go for the joy ride and later on drop them? 
               Too risky for the long haul, they say.  They marry the one who feels like
               comfortable old shoes.. feels ha, not looks like.  lol)   

Summary:  it's a Marketing Game.  (Like convincing the Eskimo he needs a Sub-Zero?)

[chin_squared]

Don't guys fall hard for "dangerous" girls, only to go for the joy ride and later on drop them? 
               Too risky for the long haul, they say.  They marry the one who feels like
               comfortable old shoes.. feels ha, not looks like.  lol 
/quote]

Natawa ako dun!

I guess sometimes, breaking past the friend zone would mean risking the friendship. But, if you both mutually feel a romantic potential there, then go ahead. At least, when you've been friends with him/her, you've already seen him/her at his/her natural self. Mas lessened na yung risk na ang kinikilala mo pala best food forward lang and tancha-tancha about likes and dislikes.

[beachgirl]

She must make him believe that life with her is better & easier, and that the best is yet to come.

i like this! but how to go about doing that is probably trickier than it seems...

[killbill]

pag nagkaron ka ng ibang girlfriend. automatic magseselos yan. trust me.