Adjustment Period

[lisse]

^same here! First Christmas namin together as a married couple. Major adjustment is Hindi pa siya sanay sa ibang customs and traditions natin especially for Christmas. Foreigner kasi, tapos we're out of the country pa.

Tapos lagi niya iniiwan sa sahig ng bathroom yung mga towels. Kasi madumi Na daw. May taga pulot? Lol!

[kaice]

sis lisse, baka sanay si hubby sa hotel

yun lang, since first christmas and new year namin. we are creating our new traditions as what we have been doing with our respective families before.

[lisse]

^hay naku sis, ginagawang punasan ng basing paa after maligo. Tapos saka Lang ilalagay sa hamper Kung maglalaba Na siya. In fairness Hindi siya tamad sa household chores.

Nung nabanggit ko nga Na sa new year dapat may 12 fruits at puno yung cupboard, pati condiments, container, etc. saka Hindi gagastos sa January 1 sabi ba naman "50% compliance only" haha!

[yaskulet]

A first medyo mainit lagi ulo ko pag si hubby laging pauwi sa kanila (lapit lang house namen kala hubby). Pero now medyo intindi ko na, sa umpisa lang siguro talaga ganun. Hehe. Hirap ako sa budgetting, doon ako sablay. Pero sa iba naman, okay naman. Adjust din ako sa pag lalaba, di kasi ako lalaba dati eh. Now laba ako pag weekends.

[jesrora]

Hello,

We've now been married for 1 year 6 months... and things are looking up... maybe adjustment period pa din pero I learned to let go of the petty things that irk me about him. And the stuff that he does na kinaiinisan ko di ko na din pinalalaki. When he gets mad hindi ko na sinasabayan, and medyo tinetame down ko pagiging dominant ko.

I am reading yung sinend sakin ng isang girltalker na book, secrets of a fascinating womanhood, I am still not done reading it pero dito ko nalaman yung beginning steps na dapat ko gawin as a woman, wife, and mother kaya I guess medyo umayos pakikitungo namin sa isa't isa. Hehe.

Pero yeah, sometimes dumadating pa din yung pagod ako from work, pagod sya from work, tapos magoutburst kami sabay, but unlike before na siya uwi agad sa mommy nya dahil kaka-nag ko, ngayon hindi na kasi imbis na mag-nag ako itinutulog ko nalang muna haha. Sana maging okay na tuloy tuloy and wag kami makaranas nung 7 year itch.. next year 7 years na namin together..

[serendipity02]

2months pa lang kame sa bahay, as early as now im letting go of the petty things..
nasa adjustment period pa talaga.. nakakaloka na nakakatuwa!

[ri-anne]

adjustment period first few months of getting married and staying at the same house

adjustment period when baby is born, and another baby is born, etc...

adjustment period during financial crisis

adjustment period when you encounter a new situation (being abroad, etc)

in short, adjustment period EVERYTIME there is CHANGE

it's a never ending process..... but the good thing about it is once you both worked together and was able to get through it, nalagpasan nyo yun, you're relationship becomes stronger.....parang feeling nyo you can overcome everything..
but of course, don't forget to include God in every situation, decision-making, etc.. He is the One that will bind you closer and tighter to each other 

i've learned not to sweat the small stuff, and pick my battles (lol parang nasa gera)..meaning kung pupwede naman, i let him have his way...

and pag galit, we give each other time to cool down, kesa mag-away at sigawan at the heat of the moment and say things we might regret

it's our 7th yr being married this year... but all in all, 14 years together (from being friends, bf-gf, and husband-wife)

[aquizsa]

Share ko lang po!
last month eto din iniisip ko...asa adjustment stage kame..1 yr na kame kasal..puro away...kahit maliit na bagay..feeling ko ginagawa ko na lahat..search ako ng search sa net kung panu maging mabuting asawa..ginagawa ko..kaso lalong gumugulo [textspeak!] nghihintay ako na mageffort sya gaya ng effort ko na maging mabuting asawa...til me mabasa ako sa Smart parenting abount a Book "SECRET OF FASCINATING WOMANHOOD" Sobrang nagulat ako sa mga post ng mga wife kung panu maging mabuting asawa at feel ko na ang saya saya nila..so nghanap din talaga ako kung san ako makakadownload ng book na un...at sobrang sulit naman ang kakahanap ko [textspeak!] nakakailang chapter pa lang ako parang sobrang nabago agad [textspeak!] way ng pag iisip ko...sobrang helpful talaga nung book..feeling ko ang saya saya ko araw araw 

[sarsingkit]

we've been married for 4 months now pero nasa canada sya now. lagi rin kami nag-aaway pero baka kasi magkalayo kami. i'm afraid na baka mahabang adjustment period kami lalo na titira kami sa parents nya kasi wala pa naman syang sariling house sa canada. ngayon pa nga lang, parang hirap na ako kasi i've been living alone ever since college. i have standards on my own sa bahay, sanay ako na sarili lang ang iniintindi ko. hindi ko kailangan magpaalam sa parents ko. i just let them know what i do pero i never consulted them on decisions. ngayon, kahit sapatos, kailangan pa ipaalam if pwede bumili. minsan parang ayaw ko na lang syang kausapin. i love him so much pero minsan plus pms na din, parang naiyak na lang ako at naisip ko sana single na lang ako. parang post marital syndrome ako if ever there exists such thing. hehe

[Dhee-Dhee]

@sarsingkit: siguro nga sis, mas matagal adjustment period nyo dahil magkalayo kayo. opinion lang naman, kami kasi 6 months pa lang kasal kaya im no expert to say anything lalo na sa situation nyo. malalampasan nyo rin yan!  lalo na married na kayo, ibang level na kasi eh. nung first 3 weeks namin as married couple, nag aaway din kami. pero napag usapan namin na hindi na kami BF/GFs na pwedeng magtikisan or kung ano man kasi ibang level na tong pinasok namin. kering keri nyo yan sis! 

kami naman ni hubby, dito sa kanila nakatira, kasama yung mom nya and now with her sister na married na rin. nung mga 4 weeks palang kaming kasal, naiiyak din ako lagi. parang gusto kong bumalik sa bahay namin. ang weird kasi ng feeling dahil first time kong nahiwalay sa family ko, super attached kasi ako sa kanila, plus, nagpahirap din yung pag uwi ko from work, i have to cook my own food na hindi ko ginagawa noon kasi my mom is super maalaga. namiss ko bigla yung pag uwi ko, may food na nakahain, kakain at matutulog nalang ako. ngayon, need to cook hindi lang dinner, pati pang breakfast and pang baon pa sa office. pag tinatamad ako, wala kaming baon kaso medyo magastos since sa eastwood ang office ko and medyo umiiwas kami sa fast food kaya as much as possible gusto ko may packed luch kami lagi. after ng cooking, i'll wash the dishes tapos weekends, i should do the laundry, OMG! napakahirap maglaba, haha! paglutuin nalang ako, wag lang maglaba talaga. twice pa lang ako nakapaglaba dito, after nun nagpapa laundry nalang ako kasi hindi ko na talaga keri. imagine, pag weekdays, pagod sa chores.. pag weekends, pagod din?!  mura lang naman and damit ko lang naman ang sagot ko since my MIL does hubby's clothes, nakakahinga na ako ng maluwag pag weekends. nung tumagal nasanay na rin ako sa gawain ko, yun nga lang, laging 5 hours lang ang tulog ko. super stressful! my hubby asked me to resign from work, kasi need na namin mag baby, marami na nag aabang and hindi naman na rin kami bata, i'm in my late 20s and hubby will be turning 30 next week. so far, so good.. another adjustment nga lang din yung araw araw kasama ko in laws ko.. and that's another story. 

[sarsingkit]

i have no problems with chores naman kasi nga ive been living by myself lang all these years. ok naman ako sa in laws ko eh pero syempre iba na yung makakasama ko sila sa iisang bahay. haaay. i just hope to get past this period agad. sana pwede. hehe.

thanks sis Dhee Dhee!

[Dhee-Dhee]

^i see.. sabagay, sanay ka nga pala sa chores since you've been independent at an early age. kung ako lang din siguro sis, lagi nalang light foods ang kakainin ko, kaso iniintindi ko rin yung kinakain ni hubby, and medyo marami siyang hindi kinakain, haha. totoo yun sis, iba na pag kasama mo sa bahay ang in laws mo. ako dati kala ko super ok, pero nung nakasama ko na, i felt na parang kada galaw at lakad ko, dapat alam nila. minsan nakakairita na parang lahat dapat pagpaalaman ko samantalang sa amin noon, si mama ko lang saka hindi kasi masyado maurirat ang mama ko kaya nung una eh talagang sinasabi ko ke hubby na naiirita ako ng ganun na parang nasasakal ako. aja sis!

[docbubwit]

hubby and i have been married for a year and a month now but have been living together for the past five years and we are still adjusting because you just have to do that everyday.

the first two to three years will be the real test in your relationship because that will be the time that you get to really "know" the person you are married to or living with. that's when you discover his quirks, his mannerisms, his "got up on the wrong side of the bed" attitude, etc. he also, on the other hand, will discover your own quirks and the real you at home. the key to all these is finding a happy medium for you both- this is where your "meet me halfway" skills get into play. you learn to compromise (like if he constantly forgets to re-cap the toothpaste, uses a different saucer for his coffee cup, leaves the bathroom soaking wet after a shower, very petty things that you are not used to...) and prioritize which of his or your habits at home or his or your attitude needs to be tuned up or down. clear communication is important because this is the time when you are both stressed- from work and from home life. remember, if siblings who stayed under one roof fight with each other, how much more with your partner- whom you did not grow up with in the same house?

my advice to you is to pick your battles and have a clear line of communication. as  your lives change daily, you constantly need to adjust with each other. just be clear that your main goal is to keep both of you happy, contented and loved as the end goal is to have a happy marriage or live-in relationship.

[bleucharmz22]

^sis, hubby and i attended the seminar and it's all worth it. medyo mahal nga lang pero kung yun ang makakatulong para maihanda kayo before marriage why not di ba? i-treat nyo na lang yun as bakasyon nyo ni hubby. 

[yaskulet]

Feeling ko, wala masyadong adjustment period samen kasi we've been BF-GF for 8.5 years. BF-GF na laging magkasama and very open sa family - he has seen my best and worst. 2 months na kaming married and so far so good. Feeling ko, adjustment will start when we have a baby na.

[Paperless]

Months pa lang kami ni hubby. Nahirapan ako talaga kasi meron akong stepson plus everyday nakakasama namin inlaws ko. But now medyo nakapag-adjust na ng konti sa ugali ni hubby at ng inlaws ko. First month namin halos everyday galit ako. (ako lang naman lagi ang galit). Then nung nagjoke si hubby na parang gusto na niyang maniwala sa impiyerno after niya ako pakasalan... napansin ko hindi na ako masyadong mabilis magalit...

[yaskulet]

^sis same tayong 2 months pa lang! Di ka ba nag adjust sa stepson mo? Pano set-up sanyo din nakatira?

[Paperless]

When ka kinasal sis? 

[yaskulet]

^December 16 2011. Naku sis, dami nga adjustments kasi nasa inlaws nyo ata kayo and may stepson pa. Goodluck sis, at least may baby ka na agad na aalagaan.

[Paperless]

@yaskulet thanks sis.. extra challenge talaga...