Adjustment Period

[p3ntium4]

kami din ni H2b were living together for a year na din..
dami pa din pinag aawayan na mga small things na dun mo marerealize magkaiba ang takbo ng isip ang babae at lalake
... were planning to get married na this coming sept... kaso andun pa rin ako sa kaya ko na ba talaga makasal hahaha...
natatakot din kasi ako na di mag workout.. tapos maghihiwalay din... yun ang ayaw ko..

last weekend we had a fight nanaman just because pinapatigil ko sya maglaro ng PS3 nya.,. kasi mainit na...
ang KJ ko daw. lahat na lang daw ng ikasasaya nya e pinipigilan ko sya..
hanggang naungkat na ang basketball issues minsan kasi ayaw ko sya pag laruin kasi nga nag aalala ako dahil madami na didisgrasya sa mga liga na yan...

dun ako biglang napaisip e.. kasi yung too much concern mo pala sa guys minamasama nila ang dating e binabawalan....

gusto pala nila hayaan lang sila sa gusto nila as long as wala naman sila ginagawang masama at nagagawa naman nila ang duties at responsibilities nila as a husband...

[aplonie]

for me, everyday is an adjustment stage in marriage... it's just up to the couple how to handle it. 

[ms_ldr]

^ i agree. kasi may mga friends kami ng 10 yrs na married, may adjustments pa rin sila, parents ko na 32 yrs na married meron pa rin.

[aplonie]

^my cousin's parents in law separated after their more than 40 years of marriage.. kung kelan may mga apo na saka naghiwalay...

@sis p3ntium4: you're right. let him do whatever makes him happy as long as di ka nya napapabayaan.. mind you sayo pa rin ang balik nya kasi love ka nya.. 

[pleasureshop]

been married for 9 years now, feeling ko adjustment period pa din   

[ms_ldr]

what ive observed is that marriage is a partnership, teamwork. patience, understanding and acceptance. hinde ko pwede palagi impose kay hubby yung gusto ko na dapat ganun kasi for me it should be like that but for him iba pala, we always need to meet in between. so everyday we are learning something sa mga fights and misunderstandings natin.

[cuteyabby]

everyday is an adjustment period for us.

[mommamymy!]

i think nag-start talaga ang adjustment period sa aming mag-asawa when our baby zeke was born. married life has been a bliss for us kasi we've been bf/gf for six years and nakilala na namin ang isa't isa during that time span so alam na namin what makes us tick.

pero noong lumabas si baby, hala, nahirapan talaga kami. hands on kasi kaming mag-asawa so talagang pareho kaming walang tulog. sometimes, nakakalimutan nanamin i-kiss goodnight ang isa't isa which never pa nangyayari before.

at first, cranky talaga kami. i mean, what do you expect? lack of sleep, lack of sexy time, lack of rest = misunderstandings. buti na lang at uso sa aming dalawa ang open communication. iyon ang tumulong sa amin mag-adjust!

ngayon, nakapag-adjust na rin kami finally! may mga petty fights pero natural naman iyon kahit noon pa. basta, TIP lang: marriage is a partnership. don't zero out on communication. love one another not because of the children but because you really love each other.

[impeached]

Four months na married at eto, adjustment period pa din. Last week was probably our first major fight as a couple. Wife took offense on a statement from mother. So she made a sarcastic remark a couple of days later, and I didn't like it.

Apparently she didn't like that my mother narrated how she used to wash our clothes when I was younger. Na tipong nagkukula pa sya para mapaputi yung mga damit. Wife doesn't wash the clothes, pa-laundry lang kami, so she felt that parang pinariringgan sya ni ermats.

So two days later, she made a sarcastic remark about mom's statement. I felt it was too petty (petty naman talaga di ba? ) then the next day naglabas na sya ng sama ng loob. She didn't like that we eat past 9 pm when we visit my parents house (kasi hinihintay pa namin si mama from work). I apologized for that.

She didn't like that mom still hugs me and remains vocal on how she misses me. Kasi daw sila sa bahay hindi ganun, and even mom nya hindi naman sya tinetreat na ganun. In fairness, mother has stopped being like that recently. Nung una lang parang di pa sya makamove on na kasal na ako. So I defended her against wife. Dun na ako nagalit. Ang punto ko kasi, alam naman ng misis ko na close ako sa ermats ko e, so dapat tanggap na nya na ganun talaga kami ever since. Even before I met her. And because wife and MIL are not as "close" or "expressive" with each other  does not mean that I should also be less attached to my mom.

Ayun, naintindihan naman nya point ko dun. Talagang adjustment,  minsan kahit parang ang liit na bagay namamagnify. Iba talaga ang pag-aasawa compared to just being bf-gf.

[cuteyabby]

mostly talaga small things ang napapansin. nakakapuwing kasi!

[jesrora]

hay... 1 year 4 months. I dont know if I can hold on any longer. I dont know him anymore. we are no longer the persons we were when we got married. its too painful to admit and im having a hard time to talk about it.

[hmist]

Hi sis jesrora,

Don't give up. 1 year and 4 months is still a pretty short period for husband and wife to adjust to each other.

My husband and I were bf/gf for 2 years before getting married, and now we've been happily married for 3 years now. We've had our ups and downs, our share of fights and quarrels - talagang hindi rin madali mag-adjust from being gf/bf to married and living together. But communication and compromise are definitely important. Kailangan talaga bukas ang communication niyo sa isa't-isa, marunong kayong makinig at di pwedeng lahat ng gusto ng isa masusunod. Bigayan talaga. I think important din na mature na yung pag-iisip niyong dalawa before marrying... mahirap kasi yung para pa rin kayong bata na puro away, bati, tampuhan sa maliliit na mga bagay... pano pa yung malalaki, diba?

This year I feel like my husband and I have finally adjusted with living together and we really enjoy a better, closer and more loving relationship. We're expecting our second kid any day now, and we're both really excited. Iba rin pag may anak na, but we really love our child and each other. Hindi pa rin kami agree lagi, but we always talk and communicate, and I really think that's the most important.

[mgeoffrey_88]

every day is indeed an adjustment period. we've been together for 10yrs as bf/gf. now, mag 2 years na kami as husband/wife. big help talaga if magsasarili kayo ng house at hindi makikitira sa house of either parents aksi mas makikilala niyo ang isa't isa.

[jesrora]

thanks for the encouragement mga sis, i think its up to me if i can still hold on and make this work, nakakainis kasi kung ang kasama mo hindi showy or expressive sa nararamdaman nya pero reklamador at maselan.

haha, now that got me into thinking, when we were just bf/gf i didn't mind these qualities of him. or di ko pa nakikita na ganito sya? kahit we were going on steady for 4 years before getting married.

hehe what keeps me going is my little one. so i guess i would hang in there, and pray that kahit we are now 1 year and 4 months married and 5 years together this december 19th (at wala syang plano!! or balak para icelebrate ang aming 5th year!!!!!!!!!!! ) i can do this. hang-on.

pray for us.

and please continue your sharing sa mga adjustment period nyo, sino kaya ang pinakamatagal na nagadjust sa isa't isa?

my MIL said kasi di na daw normal na adjustment period pa din kaming dalawa. nakakapressure.

[daveigh]

^ sis, walang standard sa adjustment period. idea lang nila yun, dont be pressured.

it would help to ask an intervention on this sa mga married couple, para may makapag-advice sa inyo ng communication skills lalo na nga at may problema ka communicating with your husband. mukhang showy ka at hinahanap mo ito sa kanya. nasa paguusap  nyo yan. just remember, do not have quitting as an option.

[girl24]

my POV, first 3 ~ 5 years adjustment period, then the couple mellows down. gets to compromise, be nice to each other so happy until the 7 year itch happens... wahahaha! walang kawala!

[stormy_princess]

oh yeah adjustment period. true that adjustments never stop. in our case, we lived in for a year before we got married. at iba pa rin talaga pag kasal na kayo. were married 2years already and medyo nakaka-adjust na rin. minsan ang hirap pa rin intindihin pero pinipili pa rin namin umintindi. when my husband lost his job, its a big adjustment on our part. malaki naging problema financially but since we promised before na hindi kami mag-aaway ng dahil sa pera we hold to that. sa awa ng Diyos, unti unti nalalampasan at sana malampasan pa namin lahat:)

[jesrora]

ano yung 7 year itch? what if we have been together for 5 years tapos 1 year palang married? in 2 years ba ayun na yung sinasabi nila na 7 years or 7 years of marriage talaga?

kahit live in din pala then nagpakasal nagbabago... at nagdadaan dito.

I wanted to seek help nga with another couple like Mommy Fe but my husband is not willing to share sa iba yung problems namin... or didn't want to ask help from others kasi nga daw... WALA NAMAN PROBLEMA

[kaice]

we have been together for almost 12 years before we got married 7 months ago. the adjustment period of living together was a bit challenging at first. i'm organized and domesticated and hubby doesnt know any household chore. but since im 7 months preggy, i appreciate hubby trying to ease up the things that i used to do. he do the laundry at times, let me sleep longer and prepares breakfast i so love being with him on Christmas day for the first time

[yaskulet]

^same here sis! first Christmas namen as Husband and Wife. Ang adjustment ko pa lang so far (or para sa kanya) lagi siyang umuuwi sa kanya kasi ang dad nya ay paralyzed. Lagi siyang umuuwi sa kanila pag umaga or hapon to spend time with his dad. Yung house kasi na pinagawa namen sa likod lang ng bahay ng parents ko talaga. Minsan naiinis ako lagi siyang umaalis at umuuwi sa kanila pero okay lang bonding time ko din yun sa parents ko and siblings.

Another adjustment: sa budgetting. Sanay kasi ako na ako lang binubuhay ko, kung di man ako kumain okay lang. Now di pedeng di mag asikaso ng food kasi may isa pa akong kasama sa bahay. Haha! Pero ang sarap ng may asawa in fairness, since home based job si H2B, siya asikaso ng needs ko pag andito kami sa manila. Pero pag nasa province kami every weekend, ako asikaso sa kanya