career or family? which would you choose & why?

[egarcia]

for me, i would pick family. pinili ko to kasi yung career mo pwde mawala naman at any moment or any day pero yung family mo lage anjan sayo.

[cosmochick]

I'd choose family over career anytime. Kahit na I'm at my peak sa career ko ngayon, I would never hesitate to drop everything for my family... I want  to focus and devote my time on things that will matter in 10 20, 30 years ... I want to spend time with them while I still can because tomorrow may not come...tomorrow may no longer be an option.

[k_heart]

Syempre family. I'm working hard because of my family. Pero syempre at this point,hindi ko naman carry na hindi mag work at mag rely lang sa suweldo ni hubby. pero kung pwede lang, i will stop working to be a nurturing mom and loving wife! Shucks, dream kong maging SAHM someday! : )

[mariasans]

of course i would choose my family over my career any day. no matter what kasi your family will always be there for you

[jo1]

i would choose both... motherhood (i have a 4yr old) and career both define me as a woman and i cannot function if i do not have both career and family in my life... i realized this not long after i took a long break from my hectic work just to focus on family -- i was very happy for the extended time with my son, but i also felt a growing emptiness ...  i realized, for me, kulang pa rin...

yes, it's a daily balancing act... yes, there will be sacrifices that will deeply hurt (i missed my baby's first step and his first word while on business trips that later led to job promotions)... yes, there will be tough choices when you prioritize (shifting to lower-paying but more time-flexible work)  yes, i will get stabs of jealousy when my son's classmates traipse around in home-made, handcrafted halloween costumes while my son wears something store-bought...

yes, it's a constant struggle... but i understand now that i absolutely need both in my life and that i would rather fight to keep them in my life rather than fight my own longing... i feel very fortunate to have been born into a post-feminist generation that accords women such a choice as this...

[chianti]

Well said, sis jo1. Ako din I'd choose both and I'm lucky to be in a situation to have both. And lucky to have a husband who understands and respects my decisions in life. 

[jo1]

^ ah yes, sis chianti... supportive husbands really are invaluable to stay-at-work moms/wives... minsan din naiisip ko, it's not fair that it's us women who are exclusively confronted with this choice... maybe i'm generalizing pero minsan i can't help feeling cornered by tradition/society...

[daintrix]

If it comes from your hubby na then stop working.  I think he can provide for your family naman.  If he's income is enough why not di ba?  Marami rin [textspeak!] na mommies na nagwowork because they have to. 

[bb]

ako din both. pag ginive up ko ang career, i don't think my fulfillment and happiness will be complete.

[firstvitaplus]

I'm sure your husband will not ask you to stop working if he can't provide for you. Just think about it, your husband is away for more than half of the year and for sure your time is also consumed by your work especially if you need to travel so your husband might have thought na since he can provide for you and the family, much better if you can focus in taking care of your child.

You have to remember, our children will only be young once and whatever stage they are in now, it only happens once.Kapag lumaki na sila at may time ka na because you have given up your work, baka naman sila na ang walang time for you.Huwag ka manghinayang for the time that you will spend with your child, if you really want to work, find other stuff that you can do that will not consume much of your time at magkakaroon ka pa rin ng oras para sa anak mo if your hubby will agree unless he really wants you to be a full time mom.

[nessy]

nung nagsama kami ng partner ko, wala akong work, pero all my life i was working talaga.nung mga 6 motnhs na kami, i decided to work.una ayaw nya kasi dahilan nya may work naman daw siya at kaya nya naman ibigay pangangailangan ko pati luho ko.peor reason ko is, mas masarap ang may sariling pera.at saka kasi sanay na rin ako ng nagwowork talaga.so pinayagan nya rin ako.then nung mga almost 1 year na ako nagwowork, nagkakagulo na kami.lagi sinsabi ni partner na mag-resign na daw ako.kasi si partner good provider naman yan, pero siya yung tipo na kelangan talagang asikasuhin hindi dahil gusto niya.talagang dapat talaga siya tutukan,meaning, asikasuhin and all. kasi based sa past niya, talagang he needs a lot of tender loving care. so, dahil nga sa work ko, night shift ako, napabayaan ko siya.hanggang dumating sa point na bumalik sa sa bisyo nya.im not blaming myself sa pagbalik nya sa bisyo, desisyon nya yun hindi ko ginusto yon, ang naisip ko lang, siguro kung hindi ko siya napabayaan, kung hindi ako nagpumilit magwork just to satisfy myself, hindi siguro kami hahantong sa ganito.kasi okay na okay naman kami nugn hindi pa ako nagwowork.sabi sa akin ng supervisor ko, "next time,dont ever compromise your relationship.while it is true that we all work because we all need money, it is still your family that you go home to."tumanim talaga sa utak ko yan.kaso we learned the hard way eh. ngayon, we are in the process of rehabilitating our relationship, our life, so paalis na ri ako sa work ko, pero humingi pa ako sa kanya ng 6 more months.then after this, resign na ako at tulungan ko na lang siya sa business namin.so if i were you, think about your family first.iba kasi yung kaw mismo ang nagaalaga sa asaawa mo kahit sa mga anak mo.good luck sa yo.

[akaticzon]

i would definitely choose my family rather than career. I think it is important for married women who to stay at home and take care of kids rather than working. Medyo OT na pero in your career, you are replaceable, but in your family, the time you did not spend with them, you cannot get it back. So  basically, get the most out of it.

[abbmg15]

palagi sabi saken ng tatay ko:

wala kang maaasahan sa buhay kung hindi ang sarili mo.

huwag kang umasa sa asawa, anak, kapatid, kaibigan, kamag anak etc etc.

pareho din ng payo saken ng parents ko lalo na yung mom ko. sa ngayon tumigil muna ako magwork kasi i'm pregnant, pero sinabihan ako ng mom ko na mas maganda daw may sarili kang pera. ang hirap daw na umaasa ka sa pera na ibibigay sa yo kasi mahirap manghingi (based na rin from her experience) so now i'm thinking of going back to work after giving birth, yung husband ko kasi is starting a new business pero hindi pa nagrorollout meaning walang income na nagegenerate samen, we're just spending savings for the meantime. nagpresenta naman parents ko na magbabantay kay baby for the meantime dahil takot maghire ng yaya. i hope i can find a decent job na ok salary here s phils since matagal tagal na rin akong nakapag abroad.

[April30]

If time comes that I have choose only one, I would definitely choose my Family. For now I don't have the option to stop working. In terms of financial stability, my husbands income is enough but I want more than enough for my kids. Working moms really have to do sacrifices, and have hard time to balance work-family life. Lalo na pag lumaki ang mga anak, they'll have this feeling na hindi sila importante dahil you have to dedicated your time sa work mo instead to them. This happens to me but I try to make them understand that I have to work and make sure I still give them time they need. For now ipon muna and start a small business. Looking forward to a time when I can have both time to be with my family always and money to spend not only for their needs but also for their wants.

[langley]

kakabasa ko lang sa blog na Always Learning ni Lori Alexander

share ko lang:

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/08/she-brings-home-bacon-and-fries-it-too.html

 You may not see the problem, but it's definitely there. It's attitudes like this that keep the rest of us women in bondage. I'm happy that you can do it all, but you need to understand that this is not how most people--both men and women--are built.

How many men come home from a full day's work, labor in the kitchen, clean up, straighten up the house, AND do laundry? If you're happy playing Superwoman, so be it. I would have given anything to have been told I didn't have to do it all while I was still working full time, and I know most of my friends are equally miserable.

Our culture expects us to be Superwomen, running ourselves into the ground; God does not. Furthermore, to respond to the question you posed at the end, I believe that God gave me many gifts. The notion that I am somehow "wasting" my gifts by not using them in the workforce is absurd. Don't I have any influence on my husband, family, and children?

I'm a gifted writer who is teaching my own children how to write. I'm a critical thinker who is teaching my children how to think critically. Whatever impact I make on the next generation is a valuable investment of my talents. Being a stay-at-home wife {and later, mother}, was good enough for our mothers and grandmothers. Why are we trying to reinvent the wheel, as though we somehow think we're better or more liberated than they are? 

and also:

Being Productive at Home

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/08/being-productive-at-home.html

 Home. A place to raise our children, love our husbands, and provide a warm and safe environment for them. Many women, once they come home full-time, aren't sure what to do at home all day and find life at home to be very boring.

All of life is about attitude. We can choose to be content where we are planted and make the most of it or we can grumble and complain always thinking of being somewhere else. God wants you at home caring for your family.

[Girltalker2]

Naniniwala ako na bilang tao, dapat lahat tayo mamuhay na balanced in a way at happy.

May mga housewives na frustrated din kasi feeling nila nabobobo sila by just doing the chores and they seek more.

May mga working naman na feeling naman nila sobra silang overwhelmed sa kelangan gawin so how they wish they can just stop working.

So iyan ang pros and cons on both.  I always believe on work-life balance kasi you won't be productive sa work kung lagi mo naman prinoproblema ang family mo. Family is first, yes. Pero it does not mean na your life is only your family.  For you to keep yourself sane, kelangan mo rin magsocialize, do the things you like and be there for your family. Selfish man o hindi, isip ko kasi kung happy ka and contented sa life mo, iyan din ang aura na maibibigay mo sa family mo.

[loveleah]

Hi Sis! When I got pregrant, I resigned from my job and looked for an online work so I could just stay home. Moving forward, I've been a work at home mom for almost 5 years na, and I thank God everyday for this opportunity. If you want na may pagkakakitaan ka pa rin while at home with you kid, you can look for home based jobs Sis, marami naman dyan ngayon, merong Part Time and day jobs, but for me, I chose graveyard shift since natutulog na sila that time and makakapag concentrate na ako. Time management lang talaga para sa umaga naalagaan ko pa rin sila, and nakakatulog ako. Good luck Sis, nothing beats being there for your family talaga. 

[oreo08]

personally, if I were to choose between family and career?.............. I'd choose my family. BUT!! Hindi ko kayang igive up completely ang career ko. I would go part time, 3 days of work, yan na siguro minimum ko... *maybe* I can be a full time housewife for a short period of time pero kasi I worked hard to be where I am now. And I'm still aiming to achieve more *ehem CIO kung pwde ba eh*. At the same time, hindi ko rin kaya na hindi ko makasama daughter ko for at least 3 whole days. I used to work 3 days a week, and that was perfect. Very good balance for us! But now kasi I figured, since my Mom's here in Australia with us, maybe I can do 4 days of work na muna.

I dunno, I don't see any reason kasi why I can't have both at the same time?

[bluish_mommy]

like sis oreo08, i can't imagine why I can't have both at the same time... empowerment of women naman din ang isa kong reason.

malaki ang respeto ko sa mga babaeng who opt to become SAHM, because my mother has become one as well at talaga namang wala syang pinagsisisihan na natutukan nya kami sa paglaki while my father was working abroad. but nowadays, mahirap na rin kasi talaga eh, a lot of things can happen. what if the husband at one point or another cannot fully support the family due to some reasons, the whole family will of course be affected. what if iwanan ng husband ang wife, for me, the wife has to be able to support the children as well kahit mag-isa lang. not only for this reason, marami na rin kasing mga babae ngayon, like me, who wants to have this "self satisfaction" that they have achieve something in life kahit in the end naging SAHM din sila.

I for one, in due time would like to become SAHM as well, but at this point in time, work din muna ako for the family. at the end of the day, family pa rin talaga eh.

[RuChe]

This all depends on what situation I am in. I have been working ever since to help my husband with our monthly expenses. But I try to balance work and family time. I don't do overtime and weekend work unless there's a critical issue which doesn't happen often. But if I have the option to stay at home now baka di ko din kayanin because my kids are all grown up and most of the time they are in school so I might still choose to go back to work. But this doesn't mean I'm choosing career. I'm still choosing family kaya di ako nag-o-overtime and don't care much on how my career will go.