MY FAMILY'S PLAN REGARDING MY PREGNANCY

[_.saida._]

im a 25 years old girl who got pregnant to my 27 years old BF, working with the recruitment team in one of the call center industry. i have a nice job and a good comp package! BF dont have a job as of the moment but he has a savings that supports me and my luho.

im 7 weeks preganant now,i laready informed my mom about it and she was upset!giving me sooo much drama such as i thought you will not getting married yet, we dont have enough money etc. after giving those s**t she wants us to get married just because im pregnant!!!

i tried to explain to them na ayoko magpakasal dahil lang buntis ako at isa pa wala kameng budget ni BF for that! but my mom insist and she will not let me go if were not married! i dont understand why MARRIAGE will be the solution if in the first place were in the middle of financial crisis!!! sa kanya na mismo nanggaling na hirap ang pamilya ko sa pera ngayon and though i know na tutulong yung family ni BF i still have to stick with OUR budget.. ang budget lang namen is for my pregnancy and the apartment,, we dont have a budget for that F**king wedding!!!


im tired! im tired to listen on what they want and not be heard for what i want and kung ano lang yung kaya!!!

dame dame kong iniisip, how to get the best OB for my baby, where will i get the money for these, pressure from my family and the words that my father will utter once he found out that im pregnant!!

i cant get any support form my family, cause what they think is my pegnancy is a big mistake!!!

[rianne_mallows]

ask ko lang muna sis... why dont you want to get married?
if the reason is money, why not have a simple civil wedding? okay na yung 3k - 5k na budget for that..

pero if the reason is hindi ka pa sure kung si bf mo ang gusto mo na makasama forever, then dont get married.

[ana mimi]

conservative naman kase yung family mo..
ganyan talaga mga magulang..
ang tanong ay kung ready ka na ba?

kung ready ka naman.. civil muna sis as you planned..

[_.saida._]

ask ko lang muna sis... why dont you want to get married?
if the reason is money, why not have a simple civil wedding? okay na yung 3k - 5k na budget for that..

pero if the reason is hindi ka pa sure kung si bf mo ang gusto mo na makasama forever, then dont get married.

actually its just because of the budget, i always want to get married to my BF,, pero ayoko lang yung reason why are we going to get married.

[betty]

hmm, it seems that you are really not into him.

kasi if you really are, this is already a nice scenario to get married faster.

or maybe he's really the problem?

[mavhy]

Sis, POV ko lang ha. Since gusto ng magulang mo na magpakasal kayo kahit civil lang as you planned. Why not get married ng kayong 2 lang ni BF at ng witness nyo. Anyway, kung ang point naman ng mother mo is para maging legal ang lahat wag mo ng gawing magarbo. Pag may budget na, tska ka magplan ng wedding na makapaginvite ng bisita. Di mo naman kailangan mangumbida ng pagkarami rami. I remember nung nagpacivil yung pinsan ko(they plan to migrate kasi sa ibang bansa) yung mga importante lang ang kasama (sya,bf nya, parents nya at parent ng bf nya, at ilang ninang at ninong) mga 10 lang sila. Simple dinner after the civil wedding. Ayos na. After half a year nagdecide sila magpakasal sa church(since nadelay yung alis nila papuntang US), dun na sila naginvite ng ibang relative at mga friends. Pero di mo kailangan gumastos ng bonggang bongga sa civil . Mahirap kasi iplease yung ibang tao, tapos kayo ang magigipit .

[betty]

iBF dont have a job as of the moment but he has a savings that supports me and my luho.

and you said he has this, so whats the problem?

[billy]

Baka naman you also want to get married but on your terms, and not because parang pinapangunahan ka ng mom mo?

[^kaye^]

I have old-fashioned relatives, so I understand where your mother is coming from. Hindi naman maiiwasan na iisipin niya kung ano ang sasabihin ng ibang tao (i.e. ano ang sasabihin ng mga kapitbahay, kaibigan at kamag-anak niya). She's probably worried that your pregnancy might reflect badly on her and on how she has raised you.

At least hindi siya nag-demand ng church wedding. It's very cheap to get married at City Hall - less than 500 pesos lang yata. If wala talagang budget, you can even omit the reception.

[angeleigh]

Hmm, you said you love your bf, and nagiipon siya to support you, tanggap naman ng mom mo provided that you will get married.

Eh di magpakasal ka? --not unless big issue sayo yung maliit lang na wedding.

[rianne_mallows]

sis kung hindi naman issue sayo yung civil wedding na simple.. mas okay na yun kung sigurado ka naman sa bf mo tulad ng sabi mo..

masakit kasi sa magulang masabihan ang anak niya na disgrasyada, na hindi pinakasalan.. i know that its not the issue kasi okay kayo ng bf mo.. maybe sayo hindi issue yun pero sa oldies big deal siya.. kasi other people will not see things the way you do..

[j a n i z]

to TS, alam m sis try to understand ur mom, kase normal reaction yun. maybe ayaw lang nya may masabi ibang tao s paligid nyo. its not ur concern ofcourse pero siguro d maiwasan n maisip yun ng mom mo kase conservative siguro ang culture nya.

civil will do. pero if u think ur not ready yet, try m pa explain lalo s mom mo. hope ul be ok kase may baby na in ur tummy. congrats btw sis!

[ishko]

sis, baka you also want to consider the marriage for the sake of  the baby... pag hindi kayo kasal illegitimate siya, kawawa naman si baby, lesser rights than other kids...nasa birth cert nya yun kung sakali man, forever na..

[betty]

asan na kaya si thread starter?

[1choi_ko9]

ganyan na ganyan rin ang pakiramdam ko ng ako ang nabuntis 6 years ago. Nung malaman ng parents ko, my mom wants us to get married soon! And not just an ordinary wedding gusto nya bongga, kesho daw ang garbo gardbo ng debut ko tapos civil wedding lang etc etc... Ako naman ang plan namin ni bf that time (hubby now) after ko manganak tsaka kami papakasal ng simple, pwede na ngang civil lang e. Pero natural hindi pumayag ang mom ko. Si daddy ok lang sakanya miski ano ang plan naming magasawa, mom ko lang naman marami ang dada nuon eh. Pero kesa ma stress ako, iniisip ko na lang ang baby ko na baka mapano sa sinapupunan ko... we gave in. Pero mind you, hindi naman ganon ka garbo ang wedding namin e. Dami pa nga namin discount e, considering hotel pa yun ha. Also gusto rin naman namin talaga magpakasal nun.
Now siguro dahil mas nagmature na ako, mas naintindihan ko na kung bakit ganon na lang kadecided mom ko pakasal kami. First, gusto nya paglabas nung bata kasal kami at matatawag na parents talaga at may basbas ng diyos ang pagsasama namin. Second, ayaw nya dumating ang panahon na napaka dali maghiwalay dahil walang pinangangahawakan ang sino man saamin na katibayan na kasal kami.
Sa case mo sis, hindi naman magarbo ang wedding dapat e, civil wedding will do. If you love each other so much and you love your child you will do this para may blessing din from God.

[billy]

asan na kaya si thread starter?

hehe same question, sis

[choco_pie]

pov lang mag pa civil wedding muna kayo then after you gave birth save some money para sa church wedding a friend of mine said mas matibay ang civil kaysa sa church tama ba ang information na un?

[blush_blush]

^ I guess it all depends on the couple.

[iq160]

sis kung ayaw mo pa magpakasal ok lang yan. just say no. but give them other reasons para mas maintindihan nila. like pregnant ka nga and ang gusto mo lang pagkagastusan so far is yung baby. make an effort na you don't just say this but do as well. try to look very excited kapag you are reading baby books and always talk about baby preparations. to make it more fun, yung mga taong mas nangungulit about wedding e shift the topic to mga pamahiin about pagbubuntis like  mga bawal kainin, and tiktik stuff.  and be happy always.

[betty]

hehe same question, sis

baka this is one of those thread na, ginawang study ang mga reaction ng gtalker.