How do you know if you are just HANGING OUT/DATING?

[badmonkey]

I  don't what the status with this guy that I am seeing/hanging out/dating. Ang dami ko ng nameet na iba't ibang type ng guys kaya napakahirap for me to jump into conclusions.

Before there was a guy na super duper close kami, everyone assumes that he has something for me, and yet in the end, wala lang daw yun.

On the other hand, there's this guy na talaga ordinary friendship lang ang tingin ko sa samahan namin and out of the blue, he will pop the question: Tayo na ba? OMG!

HELP! I really need to decode my setup with this current guy para alam ko naman kung saan ako lulugar.

Reasons that makes me think THAT WE ARE dating:

1. He spend his precious time with me. He has the most time-consuming job kaya big factor sa akin na may time sya sa akin.

2. Out of the country trip with him. Although hindi 100% gastos nya, still feeling ko big deal yun.

3. He explains everything. Bakit hindi sya makakapunta. Bakit hindi sya free.

4. He answer all my sms/emails.

5. He told me kung ano yung gusto nya sa isang babae and lahat yun pasok ako sa qualities.

6. He makes sure that I am comfortable and he takes care of me whenever we are together.

7. He pays most of the time.

Reasons that makes me think THAT WE ARE NOT dating:

1. He refer to me as his "friend".

2. By nature, he is a really nice person. So feeling ko, NICE lang talaga sya to everyone including me.

3. He never makes physical gestures to show that he really cares.

4. He doesn't introduce me to anyone that he knows. Wala pa naman situation na pwede nya ako ipakilala pero he doesn't make an effort also na mameet ko sila.

5. He doesn't show interest na mameet ang family ko. Malayo naman kami sa family ko pero even sa words lang, wala.

6. He never said "I miss you", "I care for you", or even "I can't wait to see you".

7. I just can't feel it!

---

Yan lang yung mga observations ko ha. I am enjoying my time with him pero syempre gusto ko malaman kung saan ba patungo ito. The more he do sweet things, the more I expect from him.

Please don't tell me to pop the question to him. I cannot do that now. I'm thinking of other alibis or palusot para maitanong ko sya without making it too obvious.

Thanks in advance!

[rinapie]

Hmm... [textspeak!] bang sinagot mo nung nagtanong siya? Hindi ba yun na yun? Wala ng dapat i-decode? Maguluhan ka siguro kung yun na nga, super cLose kayo na parang nililigawan ka na pero wala naman siyang sinasabi. Iting guy na ito nagtanong na kumbaga confirmed na yung mga bagay na ginagawa niya na sa palagay mo ay nagde-date kayo at hindi lang pagkakaibigan ang gusto niya.

[badmonkey]

^Sis, the guy who pop out the question is not the guy I'm pertaining too. I just refer to them as examples. This guy right now, hasn't ask anything yet.

[rinapie]

Ah... Hmm... Mahirap magdecode. Ang sa akin lang, kung nage-enjoy, go lang. Never assume and never expect. Kung walang sinasabi, plus may reasons ka that made you think you two are not dating, baka wala talaga yan. Pero, nage-expect ka na e...hold your horses muna...Mahirap na.. Lets wait for our other sisses here.

[badmonkey]

^For me, type nya lasingin si girl para matupad ang gusto nya mangyari in an instant. Kung anuman yun, hindi natin alam.

Walang pera? I don't think so unless sinabi nya na tig-1bottle lang kayo.

[so_bootylicious]

i think you have feelings for this guy already. tama ba? you can't assume that he's into you and you're dating. maybe he's being just too nice. sabi nga ni rinapie, never assume and never expect kasi ikaw din masasaktan in the end if you entertain those thoughts. enjoy mo lang company niya. go out with other guys so that your full attention won't be on him. you'll never know once he finds out that you're going out with other guys, he might realize that he's into you, he's not just  aware of it yet. IMO. i was in the same situation last year.  

[badmonkey]

Thank you for the replies!

What bothers me is that hindi ko alam kung saan patungo ito. To the point na I can't even answer my friends if they ask kung ano na ang status. Even me hindi ko alam. They won't believe na we are just friends kase umabot na kami sa point na going out of the country and sleeping in one bed. I can't say naman na we are dating kasi hindi din naman ako sure.

Yes, I want to have a relationship with him BUT I am not in a hurry mode. I just want to know, saan ba kami patungo?

[snix]

 i have already experienced this.. and it hurts a lot when you're expecting and assuming so try not to.. ang hirap mangapa so try not to make too much out of it as of now

 sayo lang ba siya ganyan or ginagawa rin niya sa ibang kaibigan niyang girls? you say that he has done big things for you but you say he's just really nice so he could be doing tp this to other girls too..

still the best way is to ask the guy which i know isn't one of your options right now sabi mo nga hindi mo pa kaya pero siya lang talaga makakasagot niyan

[ana mimi]

siguro it's better to ASK. para di ka masyado umasa.

[badmonkey]

sayo lang ba siya ganyan or ginagawa rin niya sa ibang kaibigan niyang girls? you say that he has done big things for you but you say he's just really nice so he could be doing tp this to other girls too..

He has other male friends and very few female friends. As far as I know, he spend a lot of his spare time with me. Simula ng nakilala ko sya, if hindi ako kasama nya, it means he is not socializing and just bumming at home.

I know I should ask and I need to. Tama kayo, sya lang ang makakasagot kung ano nga ba ang status namin. I'm giving it time and trying to enjoy it with less expectations.

[coo]

woah.. i mean seriously DATING sasabihin nia sayo na i love you or i like you.. HANGING OUT --> no i love you's.. IMO guys sometimes act so weird.. so mahirap na mag based dun.. you just have to feel it.. 

[aquacharly]

Some men like to keep it light and so go this way:  slowly but surely.
Or, he himself has not yet made up his mind if you are more than friend-material.

As it is, Friendship is a valuable thing already... sometimes, it is better to keep a friend, than to end a good relationship when the romance does not pan out.  So, just enjoy it.

However, a good indicator is when he spends time with you even when it is inconvenient. 
Pag ganyan, hindi na just hanging out kayo.

[muahmuahmuah]

hanging out as defined is hanging out-literally what it is by definition--and in dating its either you discreetly see each other at your place or his or somewhere public.like going on mini dates and even if you have private intimate moments, it still is considered hanging out not until both agree to take the relationship further and you both decide to become a couple.

hanggat the guy doesn't say anything like we're exclusive or i want you all to myself and all that sweet talk na kayo ay together and he wants to be your boyfriend eh consider yourself single.  better yet ask upfront thats the only way to find out and see whats he's made of. girls rin shouldn't put themselves in that kind of predicament like getting bogged by how a guy feels when you should be more of the catch than he is.

now if you happen to be hanging out and have become sexually intimate and yet he doesn't give you the time and day if you are a couple or not..dahil scared ka to ask and or he ignores the question when asked...and the meetups are to of his own convenience, booty call naman yun


^With your college pal if  atleast 70% or 100& eh your relationship with him is texting and the meet ups with him is just like 5% or less e di mag textmates  lang kayo nothing more or less.

[badmonkey]

Hello mga sis!

I am still seeing him. I have decided na pag umabot na ang ika-6months mula ng una kaming magkakilala at wala pa din katiyakan kung saan patungo ito, I will ask him the big bang question. I want to know as well kung saan na ba kami papunta.

So far, we are still the same, walang progress, steady lang.

Now yung mga ginagawa nyang special for me, nawalan na din ng value. Why? Kase meron din syang ginagawang something special for other people like asking a friend na nag-be-bedspace lang to stay in his house while he is on vacation and buying gifts para sa anak ng ka-chatmate nya. So mukhang mabuting tao lang talaga sya.

[shopaholic18]

this may sound confusing din pero i have this situation right now. medyo naliwanagan lang ako nung nag back read ako dito. i met things guy and initial intention talaga is to look for gf/wife and not just friends. we have been getting to know each other for quite sometime now, he isn't a filipino to begin with kaya new sa kanya ang courtship, actually ang courtship daw ay getting to know or dating.  then he uses us, our future and all sa pag uusap namin pero still getting to know padin. exclusive din kami, were not dating anybody else at the moment, he spends time with me even with the timezone differences, he lets me know where he'll be and vice versa and ang pinakaconfusing sa lahat may term of endearment pa kami kahit di pa kami which is never niya ginawa kahit sa ex niya. i know its too soon to think na we have something pero masaya kami ng ganito. then nung na open yung topic ayun sinabi niya na i like you and ako din naman sa kanya.  pero as of the moment call it taking things slow, were still on getting to know stage na parang MU until we both decide to take things on the next level. kinda exciting but don't want to raise my hopes high kasi ang hirap hanggat di pa final na were a couple. pero if somebody else asks us about our status, we call it simply reserved. not single and not taken. napahaba ata post ko, 

[ladybellee]

this may sound confusing din pero i have this situation right now. medyo naliwanagan lang ako nung nag back read ako dito. i met things guy and initial intention talaga is to look for gf/wife and not just friends. we have been getting to know each other for quite sometime now, he isn't a filipino to begin with kaya new sa kanya ang courtship, actually ang courtship daw ay getting to know or dating.  then he uses us, our future and all sa pag uusap namin pero still getting to know padin. exclusive din kami, were not dating anybody else at the moment, he spends time with me even with the timezone differences, he lets me know where he'll be and vice versa and ang pinakaconfusing sa lahat may term of endearment pa kami kahit di pa kami which is never niya ginawa kahit sa ex niya. i know its too soon to think na we have something pero masaya kami ng ganito. then nung na open yung topic ayun sinabi niya na i like you and ako din naman sa kanya.  pero as of the moment call it taking things slow, were still on getting to know stage na parang MU until we both decide to take things on the next level. kinda exciting but don't want to raise my hopes high kasi ang hirap hanggat di pa final na were a couple. pero if somebody else asks us about our status, we call it simply reserved. not single and not taken. napahaba ata post ko, 

sis shopaholic, i need pieces of advise from you.. medyo nakakarelate kase ako sayo eh. medyo nacoconfuse na kase ako. I met this guy online. And then we started exchanging messages then he told me one time na hes surprised daw what im doing at that dating site so i asked him why and then he started telling me na im different daw kase im a professional, pretty, been to the states, blah blah kase most of the girls there daw na he talked to eh 'take me there, i wanna be with u' blah bah. so i was like 'now youre making me feel that i have to deactivate this account right now. and then sabe nia if gagawin ko yun pano na daw nia ako makakausap eh he enjoys talking pa man din to me.. so anyway to cut the story short, nagskype and ym na kame plus exchange nos.. so there nag vivideo calls kame and all that.andami na din namin napaguusapan..dami namin same na interests.. and i know his soft side. and ayun nga may terms of endearment sha saken.. pero its getting kinda confusing na kase i dont know if ano ba tingin nia saken.. like a lil sis? best friend? idk. lol he calls me 'my favorite girl'  and then minsan girlie, kiddo, pumpkin. haha.. and i mean ok i dont wana be presumptive din naman kaya lang kase feeling ko parang yung ginagawa namin eh pangLDR. We watch movies together--not physically (we're both disney addicts) so my movie nights talaga kame,  we have skype dates, and then if hes going somewhere like clubbing with friends he'll be like asking my opinion if he should go or not. And then nung minsan na gusto sha kausapin ng ex nia, sinasabi nia din saken. Im just going with the flow though. Pero its kinda hard not to fall. Ano gagawin ko sis? My friends would always tell me na something is wrong with me daw, i tend to put my guards up kase once na nafefeel ko na malapit na sha mashado saken. well ano gagawin ko, thats the least I could do to protect myself from getting hurt. At the end tuloy, parang it leads mo to this direction na i appear as someone who pushes a guy away without even being aware of it. err i dont know na?

[shopaholic18]

^sis try not to take things seriously. don't fall for the guy yet. get to know each other, act the same that way you'd never push him away. let everything fall in its place in time and enjoy the moments. as to ano tingin niya sayo did you two ever talk about it? like i'll set mine as example ha, me and him met on dating site that i just joined dahil lang sa isang dare then siya to find a filipina wife/gf talaga. he's been consistent with that until nag exchange kami ng fb, ym and skype. i don't really look for foreigners, he just got my attention kasi half pinoy nga. then after a month of daily chats we both decided to quit sa site to get to know each other better na walang hindrance, naging exclusive kumabaga. then he admitted na he likes me and vice versa so feeling are mutual in our case. sa super close namin i can ask him anything under the sun without it being awkward. we're both getting to know each other as of today but then things na pinag uusapan namin medyo deep na, like relocating, future plans and all. but we're happy where we are right now, still taking things slow until magkita kami,kasi yun yung gusto ko we'll both decide pag nagkita na kami in person. so from the start interests has been laid down already, from us both kaya alam namin kung ano gusto namin from each other na hindi kami ma mimislead into just friends or brother-sister type of relationship. i know its awkward asking him directly but  it is only him that can answer your question really sis. sa tingin ko kasi nag tatantyahan kayo eh, or di lang na oopen yung topic na yun. actually sis nahihirapan din ako sa sitwasyon mo ha,kasi i didn't ask my guy about that but then parang its started with why are you on that site? parang ganun eh, then why'd you decided to quit and are you dating someone at the moment, how do you know if you like someone, what are you looking for in a guy/girl puro ganun lang sis eh. actually kasi super kampante kasi kami sa isa't isa na kahit ano itanong sasagutin lang nung isa eh. hope this helps you sis.

[ladybellee]

i have less time to socialize na kase ngayon and i felt like i needed to at least interact in some way so a friend suggested to join a dating site and ako naman tong game na wala lang trip trip lang. and then this guy, i didnt even send him an interest kase hind naman interesting yung profile nia. ako kase gusto ko yung may sense talaga kausap so he never got my interest then. until he was the one who sent the interest first. and then nagmessage na sha and all that. later on i learned na super nageenjoy na ako kausap sha, actually he was the only guy i was continuously corresponding with sa site na yun. until we moved to IMs, phone and video calls. Although we didnt have any agreement of deactivating our accounts. pero ako nagdeactivate na ako. I dont know ate ha kase ako talaga yung pag i like someone, sakanya na yung attention ko so hindi ko na kaya magmultitask like to still talk or even date with somebody else.nagpapakaexclusive ba? haha although ganun talaga kase ako eversince. We're so comfortable talking with each other although never namin napagusapan kung ano kame. we just love talking to each other, ganun lang well thats at least how we describe it. Although we explored some possibilities din, sha coming here, me visiting him and stuff like that. and mga hypothetical questions about us na kung magkasama kame..Aside from that kase andami ko narin nalaman about him so ako i try to figure him out na by myself based sa mga nasshare nia. yung gf nia na last, nagbreak sila kase she dropped the L word kaagad eh 2 mos palang sila nagdedate,(which i totally understand coz i myself wouldnt say that word unless i really mean it) gusto na sumama sakanya kung san sha next na magmomove kase sa nature of work nia. so ako ayoko rin magbigay ng hint na like ko sha. although parang we both send mix signals? idk. ang weird. One time pa he was excited about something i bought and he was like "ohh i love you forever for that!!.. blah blah.." although saken wala lang yun kase i can say that to my close friends din pero diba sana maging careful sha kase what if mamisinterpret ko yun?lalo na sha nga tong sensitive mashado pagdating sa L word. haaay.. but yes ate i will take your advice i will really, like really try not to take things seriously. pero nakakaloka na minsan like i dont wanna appear interested but not to be so not interested na pati sha eh mawalan na ng interest? you know what i mean? hehe gulo ko..   

ate shopaholic thanks sa advice ha

[shopaholic18]

^never ever send mixed signals, if you like him show him pero not to the extent na pushy na or what, same lang. para di niya mamisinterpret. makiride ka lang. until you both figure out ano kayo.

[ladybellee]

alright ate i'll keep that in mind thanks a lot