addict si hubby sa online games..

[mysterioza_me]

^Nakipagbreak na siya sis. Nasobrahan siya ng tiwala sa bf niya since open siya sa ipon niya. Sa alkansya lang kasi nakatago money niya. Kung ako talaga ito idedemanda ko siya.

Here?s the link sa story:
https://www.facebook.com/pesosenseph/posts/853345314850220

[Girltalker2]

If the guy is addict sa game, feeling ko di pa sya dapat mag gf or asawa. Iba kasi if naglalaro to kill time at kina career yung gaming (tipong nagmamadali maligo/kumain kasi maglalaro pa)

we have a rule pag meal time or pag time outside, no games. So pag naglalaro while kumakain no no sa mga kids ko. Kaso naman, if I see blank faces sa kanila nagagalit din ako kasi ano use of eating together pero Utak mo nasa games pa. So ito ay with  my kids. Ewan ko lang talaga if I can accept a partner na parang anak ko. Di ko ata kaya.

[kvandenhaak]

It's addiction if it's already affecting your life and relationships. I have a friend who married a Puerto Rican, addict talaga. That's pretty much all he does aside from work. He's neglecting his role as a dad and husband. Works from 7 to 2pm then plays online games up to 12 midnight every single day. They don't do anything together as family. She finally had the guts to leave him.

[shinies]

di pa sya dapat mag gf or asawa

Dagdagan ng hindi dapat mag-anak kung nakikitang addict sa kung ano man si mister (o si misis).

[Tanya_miguel]

Hi.. naku yung asawa ko sobra sa addict sa ROS.. nasabi ko na ngang asawahin nya yung laro.. kasi wala na syang ibang alam gawin kundi matulog work laro matulog work laro.. wala ng time samin ng mga bata.. meron man kakaunti.. and yung time namin magasawa wala na din..

[mysterioza_me]

^Yan din favorite game ng 10yr old son ko. Ibang klase na mga lalake ngayon paurong ang pagtanda.

[caramelli]

Ganito rin asawa ko eh. May time naman sya in fairness sa amin. Ang ayaw ko lang yung uunahin pa yung games kaysa kumain sya. Maglalaro muna bago pumasok ng office. Maglalaro bago matulog, basta sa lahat yun muna inuuna nya. Okay lang sa akin maglaro sya. Ang nakakairita lang, nag iiba ugali nya dahil sobrang hooked na sya sa game. Tipong minsan ayaw ng naiistorbo sya. Kung pwede ko lang ibalik to sa nanay nya, binalik ko na! Sakit lang sa ulo eh, mas maayos pa kung kaming dalawa nalang ng anak ko. Bawas pa sa asikasuhin ko. Addict na nga sa games, ni hindi pa marunong maghugas ng pinggan. Tsk tsk.

[Girltalker2]

^ yes they become irritable kasi konti lang rest/tulog.
Worse, pati pagligo siguro or Pag punta sa toilet eh minamadali para makapaglaro. That?s too much.
Talk to him and give him an ultimatum. If I were you, I will disconnect the internet sa house for a while.

[caramelli]

^Nako sis, nagka ulcer na nga to before. Tumino saglit lang pero bumalik din sa dati. Re internet connection, tig isa kami kasi kailangan mabilis connection para sa work.

[sahmandkids]

he's addicted before we got married but now hindi na

[baby_yummy]

gurls, a bit frustrated kay hubby on this vice.. prior getting married I know that he is a gamer na pero after 15 yrs together feel ko lalong lumalala.. he really doesnt like the word ADDICT pero i think he is.. for all these years eto ang laging issue namin sa away

recently he joins a guild sa RAGNA annoying... yung tipong magantay ako sa bonding namin kasi may tinatapos na game or yung mas excited sya magreply sa guild chat nila pero sakin seenzone lang...

getting depressed and frustrated.. 

[glamorosa_09]

Hi sis, when he's not playing, he provides emotional connection with you naman?
-- like pag may kinuwento ka, nagrerespond sya (at least listen, nod), or para kang nakikipag-usap sa pader?
-- does he still affectionately touch you,
-- does he make eye contact with you, smile at you?
-- when you signal you need support or help, he provides naman?
-- do you feel wanted/desired outside and inside the bedroom?
-- does he share happenings about himself and his individual world?
-- you said you had to wait after a game before kayo magbond, very fulfilling and satisfactory naman?

[baby_yummy]

so far sis, lahat ng nasa list mo he does naman the problem is at his own pace.. meaning pag feel niya lang kasi nga mas focus siya sa level up ng game..

for the "waiting time" i was able to tally kasi yung time spent  in a day sample..

24 hours:

10 hrs - work
5 hrs - gaming
8 hrs - sleep
1 hr - left for me?

i don't know if i'm being selfish pero ang narerecall ko lang na time spent with me usually is when we eat, car travel and before matulog (cuddle takes less 15 mins kung di pa sya tulog), I already told him on it and he does realize it just that he kept on doing the same thing over and over which is so annoying 

[TomHansen]

^ 5hrs gaming? parang teenager ha.. addiction na nga yan sis kasi hindi naman lahat ng gamers ganyan especially mga pamilyado na - mabuti sana kung single siya at walang naghihintay ng attention niya.. wag mong paglutuan ng makakain, wag mong paglabhan ng damit pamasok para matauhan..

[glamorosa_09]

One hour na lang ang physical interactions niyo, and those times when you try to connect with him online ay seenzoned pa. Sa kakaunting chances niyo to interact, at his own terms/pace lang. I assume weekends are no better?

You have also raised this problem repeatedly with him pero walang nangyayari. No wonder it's depressing and frustrating.

I have looked into gaming and marital problem here https://www.nurturingmarriage.org/conflict-resolution/dont-let-gaming-ruin-your-marriage, which contained many personal sharings. Di ko na binasa lahat, parepareho ang theme/trend.

And yes it is a cause of concern nga, which sadly led several others to divorce. Others are into their 40's and 50's na. Parang, akala mo maglelessen after marriage or pag tagal, but the thing is palaging may bagong games. Mukhang bottomless ang supply ng new games.

Unlike addiction with alcohol and drugs, hindi pa ganun ka recognized itong gaming addiction, although nasa Diagnostics Manual (DSM 5) You may read this https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/internet-gaming.

Can you endure another 15 years of this? It is up to you naman. Baka you need individual or marriage counseling na, ang tagal na rin eh. Or pag wala talaga, detach emotionally and live your own life if separation is not an option for you.

[Ms. Undecided]

Samin ng bf ko, ako yung mas hook sa online games, pero hindi naman addict, kapag bored lang. Pero once na naglalaro na ako, di na ako papansinin niyan haha! Kahit nga mga live stream, nagagalit na siya, siguro nagseselos siya dun sa isang guy streamer na pinapanood ko kasi sabi ko sa kanya, crush ko yun LOL. Ultimong oras ng tulog ko, binabantayan na niya, di gaya dati. Kapag nagkakasakit ako, lagi sasabihin na, kakalaro ko daw kaya ako nagkakasakit. Pero yun nga, libangan lang naman. Di kasi ako masyadong nakikipag socialize, taong bahay lang ako, unlike sa kanya na may gathering sila madalas ng mga barkada niya. So, ayun kahit minsanan lang ako maglaro mas nililimit ko pa hehe

[Bridgette*]

so far sis, lahat ng nasa list mo he does naman the problem is at his own pace.. meaning pag feel niya lang kasi nga mas focus siya sa level up ng game..

for the "waiting time" i was able to tally kasi yung time spent  in a day sample..

24 hours:

10 hrs - work
5 hrs - gaming
8 hrs - sleep
1 hr - left for me?

i don't know if i'm being selfish pero ang narerecall ko lang na time spent with me usually is when we eat, car travel and before matulog (cuddle takes less 15 mins kung di pa sya tulog), I already told him on it and he does realize it just that he kept on doing the same thing over and over which is so annoying 

Open up to him that it's not healthy for the both of you anymore because it seems like gaming has been his priority and it bothers you now more than ever. Ipaputol mo kaya muna yung net nyo sa bahay pansamantala sis. Atleast he'll have no choice. But come to think of it, okay na rin na gaming ang problem mo kay husband mo kesa naman nasa labas pa ng bahay at nagwawalwal sya. More patience sis : )

[baby_yummy]

TomHansen... correct ka dyan, sabi ko nga if single ka at walang LIFE then go ahead pero now na married na tayo dapat naman marunong ka magbigay ng time for family. He doesn't even know how to socialize anymore minsan pinipilit ko pa to hang out with friends keso tinatamad daw pero ayun nasa computer nanaman. Pag nairita na ako not doing anything sa house bahala siya sa buhay niya. 

glamorosa_09... yup weekends are no better kasi wala ng tayuan sa computer chair niya except kung need niya magrestroom or kakain. Sabi ko nga weekend should be family time. Sa DSM-5 list, I already observe 7 out of 9 symptoms of internet gaming disorder si hubby which is very bad.

i already confronted him several times even threaten to throw his phone and break his computer. He knows his mistakes and says sorry, trying to change for the better kaso mga ilang araw lang balik ulet sa games niya. Lately sinabi ko sa kanya na he is pushing me to my limit and getting depressed na. I even thought of leaving him. I even added na we don't have a child so ako na lang nga ang aalagaan niya hirap pa sya magbigay ng time what more if may anak pa kami.
 
Ms. Undecided... sabi kasi ni hubby sakin playing games makes him relax, ako kasi outgoing person which napipilitang maging home body. I guess you just make sure na balance ang RL (Real Life) from your GL (Game Life). Ang fear ko nga is that having separate interest might lead to growing apart. I noticed kasi most people who decided to divorce or separate are those you grew apart.

?The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference."

Bridgette... i always make it a point to voice out. Ang hirap kasi ng may kinikimkim ka na inis or asar. He didnt like what i told him about his addiction but im just saying what I had observed. Sabi ko nga magtaka ka pag di na kita pinansin sa game issue mo ibig sabihin wala na akong interest sayo.

[three8one]

^ palagay ko effective din na strategy kung ang pagmumulan ng healthy interaction nyo ni hubs eh galing mismo doon sa kung anong pinag kakaabalahan nya.. kahit di mo trip yung mga nilalaro nya bat di mo subukan tanungin sya, ano ba yung nilalaro nya, sino sino ba yung mga characters na nandun, pano ba nilalaro yan? mga ganun tipong bagay para makuha maintindihan mo din kung ano ba yung satisfaction na sinasabi nya na nakukuha nya doon. ang point dito eh magkameron uli kayo ng common interest at bumalik yung gana nya makipag usap sayo? then gradually latag mo yung mga concerns mo. at least nakikinig na sya siguro by that time.. 

[AllHailFallon]

Makikisali lang because I can somehow relate sa topic though hindi personally but through a friend's experience.


My friend's boyfriend was considered very successful sa field niya--topnotcher sa engineering board exam, has a stable job with good pay and is really a nice person, so over-all, sinasabi namin kay friend na good catch na si boyfriend.


They went on to have a relationship from casual hanggang seryosohan na until boyfriend became addicted sa Mobile Legends. Nung una, akala ni friend na normal pasttime lang 'to ni boyfriend not until nalaman niya na BF decided to quit his job to focus on professional gaming.


My friend, being the ever supportive girlfriend still supported her BF all the way kahit na even yung parents nung BF niya is nagrereklamo na. Nung una tolerable pa but when her BF moved to the bootcamp (residence provided by their team's manager) eh nawalan na ng oras si BF sa kanya. She was used to them not being together all the time dahil same naman sila na working before, pero ngayon, BF will only see her 4-5x a month given the fact that they are living in the same city. Another thing is pag nagkikita sila, they might go to a different place pero kaharap pa din ni BF is yung phone niya at naglalaro pa din.



It was sad seeing my friend cry dahil wala ng time si BF sa kanya dahil sa laro. Niloko pa nga namin na mahirap tapatan ang kalaban niya, unlike pag nambabae si BF. LOL. =))


Ano ba magandang advice sa ganitong sitwasyon? Sad because the BF is also my friend and I am genuinely sure that they make a good pair pero hirap na hirap na yung friend ko na makipaglaban sa sitwasyon nila.


If you are on my friend's shoes, what will be the best thing to do?