Am I a kabit?

[katie_21]

If hindi na sila, bakit hindi pa bumukod ng bahay si guy? If he wanted the situation to look like he's a responsible father, e di magbigay pa rin sya ng financial support, and he can always visit the kids naman even if he doesn't live there anymore.

Sa isang bahay sila nakatira, e baka naman sa isang kwarto lang din sila natutulog. Or worse, sa isang bed pa rin pala sila natutulog.

Do the ex knows about the new gf? Or better yet, if she knew about the new relationship, is she whole-heartedly not against it?

If he really loves the new gf, then he'll respect her and hindi nya hahayaan na magmukhang kabit ang love nya in the eyes of so many people.

If the new gf know what self-respect is, she'll break it off with the guy until maging maayos na yung situation nya. Kase as of now, its really complicated.

i agree... =)

[ysa.belle]

If he really loves the new gf, then he'll respect her and hindi nya hahayaan na magmukhang kabit ang love nya in the eyes of so many people.

If the new gf know what self-respect is, she'll break it off with the guy until maging maayos na yung situation nya. Kase as of now, its really complicated.

maybe the guy does not love the new gf kase hinahayaan niyang maging kabit ang tingin ng tao s new gf di ba?

syempre the new gf loves the bf kaya ganyan na parang she does not know what self respect is anymore...

basta sa issue an yan, kids ang talo.

[justme]

^or baka hindi rin financially capable si guy. Kase as far as I know, pag ang guy ang nagsabi ng ayaw na, naku, kahit anong pilit mo dyan, lalayasan ka talaga nyan kahit na ba walang third party. Or pwede rin namam na press release lang ni guy yung "for support" sa anak, pero in reality may relationship pa talaga.

I don't understand the mentality na magfe-fake ng real status ng relationship for the sake of the kids. I mean, yes, the children are innocent, but heck, they're not stupid. They can feel the tension between their parents, its impossible not to. They're all living under the same roof but there's no love there anymore. Ano, nagbabahay-bahayan na lang kayo? You can't call a house a home if there's no love there and naglolokohan na lang ang mga taong nakatira doon. Akala nila they're doing their kids a favor when in fact, it can affect their kids' future decisions for their own relatinships, since iniisip nila na that set-up is normal.

[ysa.belle]

^correct. kids these days are much more observant, mas matanong kaya pag may na-feel silang off eh they will ask agad...

[princess_23]

IMO lang ha correct me if I'm wrong pero kahit hindi kasal yung guy but they are living under one roof ng girl tsaka kids they can be considered as common law husband and wife so yes indeed you may be considered as a kabit IMO lang ha...kasi you entered into a relationship as a 3rd party eh...

[Petsy]

^correct. kids these days are much more observant, mas matanong kaya pag may na-feel silang off eh they will ask agad...

true...

[aquacharly]

kunwari lang. ako na lang ang example para madali intindihin.
 
matatawag ba akong kabit kung single ako and then nakipagboyfriend ako sa lalaki na may pamilya na pero hindi pa sila kasal nung babae (and there's no intention of getting married)?

so ang nangyayari ay umuuwi ang lalaki para lang sa mga anak niya kasi maliliit pa ang mga anak niya. parang ganon. kabit ba ako

YES. you are a kabit, IMO.  There is an existing family unit, it is not disbanded.... it is just undocumented in the traditional way we expect it to be (marriage contract)... But because it is not "documented", and there is no plan for the "documentation" -- does not mean the family unit does not exit, or will not exist in the long run (as in paglumaki ang mga bata?)     

Each member of that undocumented family serves the other members AS IF they are a documented family.  There is the Commitment to each other in that family unit, and as long as he goes home.... the Commitment is in place;  it just so happens that it is now under attack or testing due to the kabit.   So there,  yang BF mo eh may Asawa na inuuwian,  mga anak and a wife he provides for and protects... and he has you as the kabit.

[mommybutz18]

may tinatawag na po tayo na common-law spouse, di po ba ganito ang tawag sa relationship nila? hanggang kailan ganyan ang magiging set-up nyo? hanggang andyan ang mga kids nila? medyo matagal pa yta un sis...

[moonie]

Magduda ka na na nilalaruan ka lang.  Kasi pwedeng iiwan ang "ex" niya kasi hindi sila kasal.  Kahit pa may anak, hindi hadlang yon.  Plus siguro naman mahirap magsama yung babae't lalaki kung nagkalabuan na at mayroon nang iba yung lalaki.  Guys don't like complications.  So kung hindi nga iniiwan, e di ibig sabihin ayaw niya talagang iiwan.  May pamilya na kasi.  Kahit hindi kasal, malakas talaga ang hatak noon.

I think the question in your hypothetical situation is not whether you are a kabit or not.  I think if the guy chose you and you and he end up getting married, well there will be no problem.  You will be not be tagged as the kabit.  But you are having an affair with someone who apparently isn't going to commit.  If marriage between has been discussed then his living arrangement would top the agenda, but I don't think there are marriage plans yet because then this issue would not be in question.  So in a sense, para ka ring kabit.  Umaasa sa wala kasi may pamilyang inuuwian at sinusuportahan yung tao na hindi maiwan-iwan.     

[ysa.belle]

^i agree. oo nga naman. di ba pag gusto maraming paraan & pag ayaw madaming dahilan.

well, yung guy dinadahilan na ayaw niyang lumaki ng walang ama ang mga kids niya. pero hindi naman porque hindi sila magkasama ng mother ng kids sa isang bubong eh he would be less of a father. nasa tao yun. kung gusto ka niyang makasama eh gagawin niya. men do not like complications. pag ayaw, ayaw. pag gusto, gusto. hindi yung ganyan.

saka how sure naman tayo if hindi na nga nagsasama sa isang room si guy & mother ng kids? how sure na wala ng contact? based lang sa sabi nung guy? ngek. guys tend to lie their way to get what they want...

[iristacey]

for me, you are still kabit.

my parents weren't legally married kasi there were complications on documentation but i do consider them as couple and family. my mother calls the other woman "kabit", and kame din, yun ang tawag namin before. anyway, it was very very complicated being under this circumstances.

[PINKAHOLIC]

Nakakalungkot mang sabihin pero isa ka ngang KABIT, walang duda ='c

[Petsy]

oo nga noh, "kabit" nga. may nabasa din ako sa isang thread na may siota na ka-live in at may anak, tas nakita nya may naked pics yun bf at boss ng bf nya. nakakapanlumoooo. ang sad talaga pag may third party.

[Gabrielle Andre]

sis Petsy, baka kilala ko yang guy that you're talking about ha =))

kasi ganun din talaga situation ng "ex" ko. Well, sa mata ng mga tao kabit pa rin ako, and guess what, the guy mismo, he knews and he felt na kabit niya ako considering may kinakasama siya, may mga kids sila, so they are a family. and ang masaklap, he treated me like one. Yun bang you come in last after the girl and the kids, bawal tumawag,mag text when the 'wife" is around, when you meet,kelangan may sched talaga para hindi mahalata ni "wife"...so kasal man or hindi, KABIT pa rin talaga. The other woman ka pa rin.

Tama mga sis natin dito, if a guy really loves you, he would do everything to make an honorable woman out of you, gagawin niyang "legal." And in my opinion, men like them, they are cowards, kasi pwede naman niyang pakasalan ang kinakasama niya, eh bakit ayaw pa niya, tapos naghanap pa siya ng ibang babae. If he can't offer marriage to that woman he shares the same house, and the same bed with kahit may kids na sila, wag ka nang umasa na pakakasalan ka niya.

sis...ayaw niya kamo ng broken family? eh ikaw ang inuuwian niya di ba? 4 years na kayong nagsasama kahit kasal pa siya dun sa isa. so broken na ang family niya, what's the point bakit ayaw pa niya ipa annul yung kasal dun sa wife? ayoko naman magjudge kasi hindi ko naman kayo kilala, but i hope maayos na ninyo yan kasi sobrang complicated nga ng situation ninyo. but pag-isipan mo pa rin sis, kabit ka pa rin eh. maraming threads dito about kabits and i hope u learn something from them

[Gabrielle Andre]

.they pretend na parang okie sila sa harap ng mga anak nila. feeling ko wala na pakialam yung nanay nung mga bata.

how sure are you na ganito talaga ang case? baka naman they don't have to pretend na okay sila kasi talaga naman okay sila. lam mo na mahirap magtiwala eh, your guy can be a great actor. baka feeling mo lang din yung about sa nanay sis, mas mabuti talaga malaman mo first hand. and yes, tama ka, if he loves you, he'll do his best not to put you in a compromising situation. nagsasama na kayo di ba? naku sis, pwede kayong isumbong ni misis. Heto nabasa ko :
the Revised Penal Code defines and penalizes “concubinage” in Article 334 as follows: “Any husband who shall keep a mistress in the conjugal dwelling, or shall have sexual intercourse, under scandalous circumstances, with a woman who is not his wife, or shall cohabit with her in any other place, shall be punished by prision correccional in its minimum and medium periods.”

[aquacharly]

Mga darling Sis -- pa OT konti ha

Times have changed, men are different now .. we all know that, hwag na natin isa isahin pa dito or explain that... hahaba OT

Now, why have most women not changed?  That is just my observation, I may be wrong or swimming in the wrong circles. 
But why are women still  sooo hot in pursuit of that piece of paper called a Marriage Contract? 
Why do quite a number of women buy into a pack of lies/boladas kasi kasi kasi kasi   a man promises to marry them in some vague future time. 
Worse, why do some women suffer indignities like philandering BFs (or BFs who go home to Someone)  coz well:  "Ako daw mahal nlya, ako daw pakakasalan nya."   yeah, right.

Why do some women think that a marriage or commitment to another person or a family unit is defined only by a document:  a Marriage Contract?   Ano yon parang TCT ang Marriage Contract?  Proof of ownership?  Pwes, kung walang TCT, este Marriage Contract -- eh puedeng mag squat or land grab, este man grab?  Well, if that is how the world turns now... next time I marry, I will have my husband's forehead branded .. owned as of x date by AquaCharly.   hehe 
Why stop at a document nga naman na does not go with the  man 24/7?  hehe

What am I trying to say? 
It's not the Marriage Contract anymore, g@ga, it's the Commitment.
So whatever you are:  ex wife, current wife, legal wife, common law wife, GF #1, GF #10, spare tire, kabit  --  The Issue is -- WHERE  is HIS Commitment?  If it ain't with you, so there!:  you are holding on only to a bag of boladas.

[PINKAHOLIC]

Sa batas ng tao at
sa batas ng Diyos,
mali ang makipagrelasyon sa taong may commitment na,
wala ng ibang explanation dyan.
Kung wala kang takot sa Diyos, sumige ka!!
Gawin mo makapagpapaligaya sayo kahit ''MALI'' pa yan..
Sundin mo ang puso mo kahit pa nagiging ''SELFISH ka''.
Pero kung may takot ka Sakanya at may konsensya ka, gawin mo kung ano ang ''NARARAPAT'' at makabubuti para sa nakararami.. Wag maging makasarili.

[prettykhae]

oo nga noh, "kabit" nga. may nabasa din ako sa isang thread na may siota na ka-live in at may anak, tas nakita nya may naked pics yun bf at boss ng bf nya. nakakapanlumoooo. ang sad talaga pag may third party.

SIS, uber naman ito. pinost pa pati pics na ganun?

[PINKAHOLIC]

In the first place alam mo ng mali ka,
jina- justify mo lang ang sarili mo kc di mo matanggap..
At isa pa, kapag di PABOR sayo ang katotohanan talagang di mo matatanggap at maghahanap ka ng butas para ipagtanggol ang sarili mo..
Masakit man marinig pero ang pagmamahalan nyo ay isang malaking ''EKIS'', di katanggap tanggap..
Ang hirap talagang magmahal..

[j a n i z]

sis janiz, nagpost din ako doon. OT

yup sis, ikaw nga siguro yun sinasabi ko.