prodigal son

[sats]

Hi mga sis..
i need your advice sana sa problema ng family ko ngayon.
Dalawa lang kami magkapatid and my father died na 4 years ago..
this problems is been going on for quite sometime na rin and naawa na ako sa mama ko because my brother is really not treating her right.

my mom lives alone because my brother is staying with his so called wife and kids. The girl has a kid na before she even met my brother but my brother decided to take the responsibility of the child...im not naman against it because wala naman ako pakialam sa buhay niya. then dumagdag na mga bata...mga sis im an iranian..so malakas talaga dugo namin..but itong mga bata na sinasabi ng girl na anak daw ng kapatid ko, doesnt look a bit like us. ive kids too, and kahit papaano may difference, mahahalata mo talaga na may dugong banyaga diba. but in my brothers case, wala as in wala nakuha sa kanya....the girl is very mabarkada type..but then we warned my brother to take DNA test but ayaw nya..i dont know if he is scared to know the truth or what...we even said kami na magbabayad ayaw pa rin nya...
actually mga sis thats only one of the problem the biggest problem right now is.. the girl is  very sosyal in a way kasalanan din ng brother ko kasi lahat binigay nya sa girl..kahit gumawa siya ng kalokohan basta mabigay nya lang gusto ng girl...
last year he lost his job, they caught him doing some illegal things in the office ...so after that ang dami na niya inutangan...since marami siyang koneksyon ang dami na niyang kinuhaanng pera..my mom helped him pay some of his utang but umaabuso na...lagi nalang siya lumalapit sa nanay namin if may kailangan lang siya kung okay siya he doesnt even care for us...i pity my mom because shes a widow na and shes not that young anymore but bakit siya wala siyang paki for us all he cares for is his so called family...i paid for some of his utang but until when? ang kapal ng mukha nila we paid for 6 of his credit card and the way he act is as if we are obliage to pay for it. The so called wife is just at home doing nothing but demands money from my brother...now everyday tini-text nya ang mama ko na we have to help him daw cause baka daw tumalbog mga check na ini-issue niya and he might go to jail daw and all....my mom is affected but shes controlling herself...mga sis what should i do? i want to have a permanent solution to this problem.

[mctina_20]

oh boy thats tough for your mom and i feel for her.
STOP ALL the support / help you are giving, its not helping at all - in fact it makes matter worse since your kuya knows na somebody will always be there to save his ass.

[prettykhae]

nako sis, mahirap yan. hindi porket kapatid mo e for-ever mo nang konsintihin ang maling gawain at tulungan. dapat lang na matuto sya.. hindi lagi lagi na andyan kayo for them... talk to him... hope he will listen.

[rianne_mallows]

ano na kaya nangyari

[CityHunter]

Sigh.  Hirap ng situation mo and I, as a male, would admit that girls are more stronger in this kinds of things.  Its not easy for a male to accept na niloko siya but trip naman manloko sa iba.

Sa ganitong usapan very tempting to use the dark arts.  And believe me, yun kinabwibwisitan ko tempts me to use it despite repeated warnings not to.  I probably need to meditate on this mukhang making a person zombie-like is the best way to fix this kind of a problem.

I do pray and hope that others can give a better option on this matter as stumped rin ako.

[ysa.belle]

There is nothing wrong with helping people, lalo na if kadugo mo. BUT when helping people, dapat alam din naten ang limitation sa pagtulong. May possibility kase na sa kaka-help naten eh baka masanay yung tao & umabuso di ba? And we do not want that to happen but it is already happening to your brother.

It seems mahal na mahal ng bro mo ang so called wife niya & he would do anything just to give her what she wants at the expense of everybody. Sana matauhan si brother mo na kung mahal siya ng so called wife niy6a eh she would be the one to help him with his problems.

Try to minimize the help you are giving or kahit stop na muna. Magagalit siya pero tiisin niyo na muna kase in this way you can still help him to stand on his own.

[ysa.belle]

mga sis..update lang

my brother is still the same. he keeps lying pa rin. and last week nalaman namin na sinangla niya yung alahas ng mother ko....kasi yung notice ng pawnshop napunta sa address ng mom ko and we tried to trace it and yun nga...its my moms bracelet..my mom is devastated she cant believe that my brother could do that to her...my mom asked him about it and ang sabi niya lang is sorry...nagsisisi daw siya..pero grabe na mga sis....natatakot na kami sa kanya...kasi kung pati saamin kaya niya gawin yon ano pa sa iba...I cant help but question God na kung bakit lagi nalang ganito...everyday may problema na lang about my brother....and awang awa na ako sa nanay namin...shes such a good mom and she doest deserve it....i cant be with her all the time  din  kasi i have my own  family na rin and ive problems rin....im really so tired na of whats happening....god have mercy on my family

Sana sis wag kang magagalit sa mga sasabihin ko ha. 

It’s very alarming that your brother already resorted to stealing. Stealing from his own family… the only people who are trying to understand & help him in his situation. As you said, your mom was devastated because of what your brother did. Any person would be naman lalo na you were always there for him di ba? You tried to help him in every possible way you can tapos you would find out that he chose to do what he did and when you & your mom found out all he gave was a simple sorry. That is not enough. 

I do not think that he felt any remorse on what he did. Parang he is doing every possible way to give in into his so called wife’s whims, yun nga lang at your expense and his safety. Nakakatakot ang kaya niyang gawin para lang sa girl na iyon.

Ilayo mo nalang muna ang mom mo sa brother mo. It would be for her best narin. We cannot say what he would still do. At saka sa nararanasan na pain ng mom mo, nakakatakot para sa health niya di ba?

I’m sorry with what you are going through sis sats… 

[tabbru]

Your brother is a hopeless case at the moment. There is nothing you can do to stop him.

I guess the best thing to do, katulad nga ng sinabi ni sis ysa.belle, is lumayo kayo sa kanya. Ilayo mo ang mom mo sa kanya. Trust me, with your brother's attitude, hindi niya tatantanan ang mom ninyo. Hindi siya titigil hanggang hindi nauubos ang kabuhayan niya.

Tiisin ninyo na lang muna ang brother mo. A prison time probably will do him some good.