Hubby Having a Bad Day : What do you do?

[mrs.S.]

Lately, stressed masyado si hubby sa work so medyo not in the mood siya especially din na may pumipigil sa mga plano namin ( Moving ). Not that he's masungit but he's not his usual self. Yung tahimik ( ma-ingay kasi siya by nature  ) tapos parang minsan walang gana even to spend time with our son. 

I try to pamper him naman, with cooking his fave dish or give him a neck rub. He does apologizes for not being himself lately but I want to do my part as a wife and friend din that I can assure him I am there for him. So aside from the mentioned above, ANO ba ang ginagawa ninyo when your Hubby is having a BAD Day?

[fegloria1954]

I write him little love notes that I put either in the pants that he will wear to office, or in his laptop case that brings to office.

I send him a cheerful loving email (see http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,225731.0.html) describing my positive feelings over being with him.

When he arrives home and he goes to the bathroom to freshen up, I enter the bathroom disrobe and we bathe together, with me soaping and caressing his whole body.

I sometimes offer to give him a massage - head and shoulders or whole body.

We are both in our 50's and imagine us doing those things that most people think are only done by newly weds.

I learned - and he learned it too (since he is not the only one who gets stressed and has a bad day; I have a bad day sometimes too) - when we did the RETROUVAILE Program.

Mommy Fe

[twelvth_goddess]

My husband is a very relaxed and easy going person which is my complete opposite. That's why when I see him stressed or pressured, I know that there's something serious going on that he cant just take in a stride. On rare times like that, I remind him that he can always talk to me over anything. I also try to distract him by taking him out to our favorite restos, getting a massage or whatever. My husband pampers and takes care of me so much and it's just a reminder that I can take care of him too.

[Paulo]

A guy's POV here:

I think that a lot of stressed married men out there need an outlet. Maybe very often a simple listening ear or someone to share his worries/stress related stories with, will be more than enough to give a guy that much needed outlet.

Not that an excellent dish, a neck rub, or a wet blowjob won't work wonders ... ay. Wala palang bj dun sa namention mo. But anyway, there are two ways to provide support. One of them is to be the generous hostess to the returning warrior, and the other is by being the receptive sounding board to the stressed-out modern day warrior. And mind you, that works. Just imagine all the ladies' drinks and tips GROs get just for pretending to be interested in the blabber a lot of drunk customers dish out.

I hope that helps.

[jesrora]

i give him space. it works for us. not all the time kasi nagwowork ang paglalambing sa husband ko kapag nilambing agad kapag badtrip or stressed sa work lalo pa sya naiinis. so i let him be. then kapag ok na sya magkkwento na sya kusa how bad his day was, dun ko na sya ipamper and listen to his woes. most of the time gusto lang nila yun makikinig eh. minsan kahit di ko gets kunwari gets ko haha. and masokay masnagoopen up sya kapag ganun.

[aquacharly]

A bad day is when he feels his energy level is down, he does not equate it with the no. of problems nor the business level of the day. 
So, what do I do?  I give him a favorite meal, keep quiet, and surrender control over the remote.   I also insist he sleep by 10PM.

[mrs.S.]

@Paulo : natawa naman ako sa response mo but you definitely have a point there. Thanks for the tip!

[k_heart]

i just listen to him, : )! and soothes him.

[heyzki]

I usually try to plan a day out para maiba lang yung nakikita nya. places na makapgrelax siya and do things na madivert yung iniisip nya about work. few things like foot massages and watching funny movies. minsan i encourage him to go out with his friends to play his favourite sports. exercise release good energy and he'll be able to recharge para makapgwork sya on pressures.  syempre kisses and hugs and more of it    goodluck sis. he'll get better soon.

[kettlekorn28]

alam ko kung badtrip ang asawa ko just by looking at his face. mabiro kasi si hubby, laging nakangiti, makwento. pag dumating yan na tahimik at seryoso ang mukha, naku, badtrip yan.

what do i do? i shut up my mouth. yun ang pinakamaganda. i give him space. ayaw nya kasi yung tanong ng tanong. i give him a good meal. ire-ready ko na ang sleepwear nya pati yung bed. hahayaan ko lang sya kung gusto nya muna magtahimik. the when he's ready to blurt out his problems or sentiments, i listen and give him bits of advice.

[purpleish]

hirap ako mag handle tlaga pag ganito ang situation, hindi kasi ako sanay pag may buma-bother sa isip niya na hindi siya mapakali...talagang umaandar nanaman ang pagiging makulit ko kaya minsan na iirita hehe...

pero minsan pag alam ko bad mood siya from work...yayain ko agad na mag dinner para pag medyo na himas-himasmasan na, minsan siya na den nag oopen..

pero minsan na papansin ko iba den pag lalake sa lalake ang kausap nila...ewan

[wanderlust2011]

A guy's POV here:

I think that a lot of stressed married men out there need an outlet. Maybe very often a simple listening ear or someone to share his worries/stress related stories with, will be more than enough to give a guy that much needed outlet.

Not that an excellent dish, a neck rub, or a wet blowjob won't work wonders ... ay. Wala palang bj dun sa namention mo. But anyway, there are two ways to provide support. One of them is to be the generous hostess to the returning warrior, and the other is by being the receptive sounding board to the stressed-out modern day warrior. And mind you, that works. Just imagine all the ladies' drinks and tips GROs get just for pretending to be interested in the blabber a lot of drunk customers dish out.

I hope that helps.

how do I do this with a long distance marriage? 

[cindylulu]

i let him talk about it. i don't interject. i just listen. while he vents out his frustrations, i rub his neck and back. i know it soothes him.

[glamorosa_09]

aside from other mentioned above... I also sympathize with him... I just listen and I don't give unsolicited advices. Even if what's bothering him is some failure, I don't judge him but I encourage him instead and assure him that I believe in him.

[sweet_cherry]

wag siyang i-nag ng i-nag re the thing that stresses him. He will talk naman eventually..

[fegloria1954]

I give him "space."

I just proceed with speaking his love language (service): serve good food on the table, clean/fresh bedsheets on the bed, and clean/fresh me in bed!

Mommy Fe

[17arci]

I give him hugs kahit di nya ako pinapansin, just to let him know I'm there. Tapos I'll let him have his space.

[PinKisH_23]

I give him a massage, kung may problems, I let him talk, tapos I pamper him through foot spa at binubunutan ko sya ng puting buhok, gustong gusto nya yun at narerelax sya. Tapos kung kailangan ng advice ko, saka lang ako magsasalita about it.

[issey]

give him space.

[twinnie]

when he's in the sofa i sit beside him and then i ask him how's his day? or ano ba ang nagyari. when he opens up then i'll listen to him. pag nagkaka-gap sa usapan i'll ask him if he wants me to get him anything or mas madalas he'll ask me to get him a beer or whatever from the fridge. then afterwards we will continue our conversation while eating and watching tv... ganun lang naman... gusto nya may mahingahan kaya kesa lumabas pa sha para maghanap ng inuman, ako na lang kainuman niya...