How do you cope with the bad feelings pag nag-aaway/nagkakatampuhan kayo?

[confusebride]

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[sweetbabycakes]

i used to keep a journal, pero i haven't done so in quite a few years. siguro dapat ko itake up ulit yung habit.

usually kasi nananahimik lang ako at minsan nakakapagsalita rin ng matalim.

[spongebob]

i used to be so emotional whenever nag aaway kami ni hubby. i used to cry a lot and all.. but now, i guess naging manhid at sanay na ako sa style nya or namin so every after a misunderstanding if it's major- we don't talk to each other, avoid galore for days but play around like we're friends with our 2yr old daughter. if it's a minor fight, i dismiss it and act like it didn't happen pero keep a little distance from him.. civil lang kumbaga.

[reb_woods072683]

ako din tahimik lang pag galit. ang nakakainis, kapag galit ako, nakikisabay ang hubby ko. naku!! tapos after several hours, may isang kakalma at lalapit na lang and comfort the other one na nakasimangot. but sometimes, there are certain things talaga na kahit ok na kayo hindi ka maka get over.

[simply_wife]

hi mga sis! ako kasi masyadong balat sibuyas pero as time goes by unti unting nabawasan.. i remember when we were on our 1st year palang ng marriage, tumaas lang konti boses nya.. kahit anong pigil ko, my tears keeps flowing pero now hindi na sanay na ko sa boses nya eh.. LOL 

i cried a lot when hurt and angry kaya sometimes d nako makagsalita.. pero after years of marriage nakaadjust na rin kami sa indifferences namin and we talked about the issue after we cool down. dapat kasi wag sabayan pag mainit ulo ng isa, but sometimes talagang nagkakasabay init ng ulo lao na if both are working and pressured sa work.. we both say sorry after a fight and as much as possible di kami matutulog ng hindi pa settle..

[sweetylicious143]

tahimik lang hindi na muna ako makikipagusap sa kanya ibabaling ko atensyon ko sa pwede ko paglibangan kapag medyo magaan na pakiramdam ko tsaka lang ako makikipagusap sa kanya kahit na sya ang mali...mahirap kasi makipagsabayan ng galit kapag pareho mainit ang ulo ng isat isa lalo lalaki ang away at may tendency na makapagbitaw ng di magandang salita...

[fegloria1954]

I write about my bad feelings.

First I identify my bad feeling.  Then I describe it in terms of:
- how it looks if it were the weather
- how it would if it were a physical sensation
- how it would look like if it were a picture
- what color it would be (blue is symbolic of peace, orange is is "watch out", red is "danger" etc.)
- at what level it is in a scale of 10
and more descriptions, so that my husband will understand exactly what my bad feeling/s is/are all about

Well, I do that also when I have good feelings.  Para naman my husband can also savor what my good feelings are.

That is something that we learned when we did the Retrouvaille Program.  Getting to appreciate and savor what one's spouse feels allows one to be able to respond to those feelings, and not react, because one then understands and one does not have to make judgments or try to figure out motivations and reasons why one's spouse has those feelings.  What matters is that one's spouse has such feelings at that specific moment.

Mommy Fe
<helpyourmarriage@gmail.com>

[blackberryqueen]

I try to listen to some soothing music, and mentally recite my favorite Bible verses. That would somehow calm down my nerves.

After a while, when the opportunity arises at pareho nang malamig ang ulo, saka namin pinag-uusapan to finally resolve the differences. Kasi hangga't hindi nase-settle, hanggat hindi napapag-usapan nang maayos, nang walang halong init ng ulo, mag-aarise palagi yung cause of conflict.

[mishmish]

I usually cry till there are no more tears to shed... tahimik lang din ako paggalit, which is more painful and frustrating, kasi hindi ko nailalabas ang emotions ko.. minsan i confide to my mom or my best friend just to unload the burden inside my heart... In most cases, i don't talk to hubby for days, kumbaga para lang siyang hangin dyan, kunwari wala akong nakikita, walang naririnig...  Ang nakakainis lang minsan is yung nag-aantay ka na mag-sosorry siya, tapos hintay ka ng hintay, pero hindi naman niya gagawin 

[isobel]

when we have disagreements or arguments, kailangan masettle namin agad kasi hindi ako (kami) makakatulog. nasanay kasi ako sa sinet nyang rule at the start of our relationship na we don't go to sleep angry. masyado ko yata dinibdib, so literally hindi ako makatulog pag may away kami.

just try to discuss things as calmly as you can muster. take turns saying your piece, expressing your point. and if hindi talaga kayo makapagkasundo, then agree to disagree.

[cati]

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hope everything will turn out well for all of us

[Hannabefree]

Sometimes, I just cry kapag sobrang na offened ako sa mga sinabi nya.Then, calm down and kapag ako may kasalana I try to say sorry or sometimes nilalambing ko sya kapag we are both cool na. Sya naman pinatatawa ako. Minsan naman tahimik lang ako... si hubby ang madalas lumalapit para magpatawa and say sorry din.

[simply_janee]

joining. 

[jhenrheign]

di naman kami madalas mag away or magkatampuhan pero pag may moment na ganyan we just keep ourselves busy then after a while mag uusap na kami uli... say sorry, talk about it and sometimes just laugh about it... then were okei na uli... 

[kettlekorn28]

minsan lang kami nag-aaway ni hubby, tungkol sa maliliit na bagay pa. pag ganun, ilang minuto lang okay na ulit kami.

pero pag mga major fights, or yung maliit na bagay na pinalaki lang, umiiyak talaga ako. ayoko kasi na nagagalit si hubby sa akin. pag ako ang may kasalanan nag-sosorry agad ako. pag di nya ako pinapansin, deadma muna. i keep myself busy muna, ganun din sya. pag humupa na ang galit namin, nag-uusap na ulit kami para iayos ang dapat iayos.

[jpsv72]

silent treatment lang ako, at diko sya kinikibo, how many days kahit mga calls nya diko ini entertain, LDR kc kami.
Dati ako ang tawag ng tawag pag galit. daldal ng daldal pero iba na ngayon. yan na ako. ayaw ko ng stress kaya ganito nako, di na kc ako bumabata at mahirap at mahal mag pa botox Tx noh!!!

[spoiled_brat]

depende sa scale ng tampuhan/away and who got mad or sino nagtatampo.  if ako, i try to get out of the room or immerse myself in something else para [textspeak!] tampo/anger eh indi lumala.

there was a time when i always wanted to make sure that [textspeak!] tampuhan and away eh maayos agad-agad but through the years i've learned that not all tampuhan/away eh kailan i-solve agad.  may instances wherein you just have to give your partner some space to vent out sa way na gusto nila.

true.

ako rin pag inis, i'll leave the the room and make myself busy. he knows naman na when im quiet inis pa ko.


Kaso si hubby nagset ng rule before na make sure we always talk about misunderstandings before we sleep. ako lang minsan matigas ang ulo.

[RuChe]

Dati parang sabong kaso useless lang kase wala gusto magpatalo. So ngayon, tahimik na lang din. Wag na sabayan. Deadma to the max na lang. If sobrang minor lang naman, madalas hindi na din napaguusapan. Kusa na lang na parang wala lang nangyari. Pero kung kelangan pag-usapan dun na lang pag cool na lahat.

[doratheexplorer]

hmm, pag sinabihan nya na ko na hinahanap na kita.. sobra na kitang miss... un malalaglag na luha ko nun at tatawagan ko na sya...

[katie_21]

We used to talk it out but now since sanay na ako sa ugali niya I let it pass.... Nakakapagod na rin na mag usap then nothing happens... It helps a lot that I have my Journal again, I had a medium to unload my feelings. I was so tired sometimes. I just let God rule my married life.