Marriage problems/issues/ complaints etc. pasok dito...

[khaleesiCersei]

^^bro if i wanna be a tease, i would say provocative things like that. So in short, your wife was flirting with the guy. Pa joke man yun eh it's still flirting. And based on your story, i think you should trust your instincts. Parang something fishy is going on but no matter how many times you confront or talk to your wife kung puro Ayaw umamin eh di give her an ultimatum na lang. Or make her choose. Kung masyadong defensive eh di siguro meron nga talaga

[kvandenhaak]

All kinds of cheating doesn't start with a full blown cheating. It starts with flirting. Tell her to cut communication with the guy...period.

[drinveilside]

^omg  @drinveilside , I'm sorry, I don't want to make you feel paranoid, pero that's something na a girl won't do to any man na friend lang nya
Ni hindi ko yata kayang sakyan yung mga green jokes ng guy friend ko ng ganyan.

I guess you really have to confirm what's happening talaga. Maybe due to boredom kaya nagkaganon?
personally, masarap din kasi sa mga girls yung parang may lumalandi sa kanila
Parang feeling naming mga girls, may nakaka-appreciate sa amin
baka naman nagkukulang ka na ng appreciation sa kanya? Yung kilig ba, mga ganon. Kaya nung may nagparamdam sa kanya ng ganyan, e medyo kumagat sya and seems like she's enjoying that.
I think flirting lang talaga sya and nothing more, but still, kinda alarming sya 
I guess quitting to play that online game won't be a big deal naman if that would save your relationship, on a girl's point of view.

Update ka! 

first of all salamat sa response mo, yes its a big deal kasi she hides it from me . she even deletes their conversation. everytime i talk to her about it sabi nya why would i flirt with this guy nakikita mo ba itsura nyan. she guys by saying wala yan trip lang yan thats how we are with each other  sa lahat daw ng mga friends nya online ganun sya pero yung history mostly dun lang sa guy.

well natry ko na to out of boredom and dahil hindi ako pinapansin most of the time ng partner ko at nagkaissue kame about infidelity nya.. yung tipong nagtry lang ako ng online dating site and nakikiride sa mga usapan pero I have no interest in meeting him or them. Heheh.

Talk to your wife, sabihin mo nalang di ka comfortable sa mga nababasa mo and ensure nya kamo na hinde yan makakasira sa pamilya nyo.

the thing is with her sabi nya its nothing pero kakakita ko lang kanina ganun parin. called her and she said wala yun .. at sabi nya baliw ka ba ikaw nga ang kasex ko dba hindi naman nya ako mahahawakan (the guy is abroad)

^^bro if i wanna be a tease, i would say provocative things like that. So in short, your wife was flirting with the guy. Pa joke man yun eh it's still flirting. And based on your story, i think you should trust your instincts. Parang something fishy is going on but no matter how many times you confront or talk to your wife kung puro Ayaw umamin eh di give her an ultimatum na lang. Or make her choose. Kung masyadong defensive eh di siguro meron nga talaga

when i first confronted her nagalit sya sabi nya kung lolokohin kita matagal na sana and ang sabi nya she would not destroy the relationship of someone else kasi galing na sya sa broken family so never nya daw naimagine na gawin yun. when i called since pang gabi ako sabi nya nagdadrama daw ako sabi ko kasi ayaw ko na kausapin nya yung guy that way okay lang kako maging friends kayo but not like that sabi ko pa nga ako nalang landiin mo

she goes by saying pano yan ninang ako sa binyag eh di hindi ako pupunta sa binyag ng anak nya pag umuwi na daw yung guy dito.

I want to say na ayaw ko magpunta sya and i did tell her to unfriend the guy nung i talked to her about it 3 weeks ago sabi nya lalabas daw na guilty sila sorry pero nung tinanong ko sya kung bakit nya nagawa yun kahit trip lang dahil daw tinulak ko sya palayo now that ive changed i realized my mistake i have been working to fix our relationship tapos nakita ko to and that was the reason why even sa sex she says no to me. swerte ko nalang talaga nasa abroad yung lalake

honestly yun nalang delete mo yung facebook conversation nyo i dont see any justification for it.


its been just 3 months since nagbago ako at nagbibigay ako ng sobrang attention sa kanya at sa mga anak namin pero sabi nya bakit ngayon lang i always say to her masama bang magbago even if its late

sabi nya dont force her sabi ko its unfair because you have your so called friends and she tells me isa daw yung guy na nagsasabi na dapat daw she should stick with me. i find it hard to believe kasi nung sinabi i pm ko yung guy i did but the guy never responded.

kasi if ako yung guy tapos napagkamalan ako lumalande sa isang babae na may asawa na at hindi totoo mumurahin ko pa yung lalake sasabihin ko pare isaksak mo yang malanding misis mo sa yo.
the fact that he posted my chat to their council chat sa group nila is he is asking for help or justification napahiya pa misis ko sa mga co called friends nya

[drinveilside]

All kinds of cheating doesn't start with a full blown cheating. It starts with flirting. Tell her to cut communication with the guy...period.

i did tell her that and she said why would i do that kung yan yung tao na nag sasabi sakin na keep our relationship

pero sabi nya dun sa guy nung day na nagusap kami at pm ko yung nag sorry pa sya at sinabi nya dun sa guy na nagmamadali daw ako makipag balikan (even though magkasama kami sa bahay)

should i pm the guy and tell him ignore nya nalang misis ko ?

[drinveilside]

i honestly feel so empty inside i am here at work cant stop thinking about what i read today.

and when i asked her about it its nothing... so nothing pa pala yun na ako gusto mo ulamin ..

i cant talk to my parents about it any of my relatives about it because it wont be pretty.

I cant talk to her sisters about it same as above.

i cant talk to our common friends about it because i dont want them to see her and tag her as such

that is the reason why i am here... at this point i am tired because she has threaten to leave us because apparently she got fed up taking care of the kids

mind you i am the one doing the chores for the most part

i almost thought of giving up but my love for her is what making me move even though it hurts.....

[kvandenhaak]

^^No, tell the guy you are gonna bust his nose if he continues communicating with your wife!  See, napapaikot kasi ni wife ang ulo mo. Her excuses are so effing lame!

[khaleesiCersei]

Wait ano yun online friends sila? Sorry bro but parang ang weird, online friends?  For me kasi, People project a different persona online, so what you think you see online is not always real. I'm sorry siguro makaluma ako or conventional pero i don't consider people i meet online as my friends.

Parang sa fb, di ba hindi naman lahat yung nasa list mo friends mo talaga sa totoong buhay. Some are just acquaintances or officemates na you don't even talk to in person. So bakit attached na attached? Anong meron di ba? Hehe so anyways, i don't think na you need for her to confirm your allegations/assumptions anymore kasi alam mo na ang sagot.

Wala ba siyang real friends? Like people na nakakasama at nakakausap niya in real life?

i think kung kakausapin mo siya eh hindi na para paaminin siya kung ano ba meron sila nung guy. Siguro tanungin mo na lang siya ano ba talaga mas mahalaga sa kanya ang pamilya niya or online friends niya at kung ano ba gusto niya mangyari. Para malaman nyo na pareho kung ano next step sa inyong 2.

[drinveilside]

^^ actually i did that nung nag argument kami and she chose them over me but not over my kids so needless to say ang alas ko nalang is yung mga anak ko apparently i pushed her away kasi dati nung ako naglalaro may mga times daw na she wanted to talk to me but i ignored her which i didnt know that i did that until now kumbaga parang ginagawa nya lang as excuse yun.

she told me that these online friends are the ones she talks to nung naiignore ko sya and they were there when she needed them.

we had another argument last week and she told me na she would give up everything even delete her facebook but she also told me na wag daw ako magulat na one of these days na baka daw mabaliw sya or mag suicide or just leave.

she has friends real friends actually kaka meet nya lang nung college friends nya last week after so many years ngayon lang sya nag iinvest ng time to actually talk to her friends.

is it because she is fed up taking care of the kids?

I think i know the deal but how do i make it stop without her feeling na sinasakal ko sya

[kvandenhaak]

^I suggest you go to a marriage counselor. Sounds like may mga needs sya na di nami-meet. Minsan kelangang me third party involved and someone trained on this matter is a huge help.

[drinveilside]

^I suggest you go to a marriage counselor. Sounds like may mga needs sya na di nami-meet. Minsan kelangang me third party involved and someone trained on this matter is a huge help.

i actually plan to take her sa priest na nag kasal samin to remind of our vows

[khaleesiCersei]

Agree sis, baka need na din ng counselor. Pero bro she chose na pala eh.. why not give her space muna? but anyways, i agree with you, baka fed up na siya sa bahay lang at mag alaga ng mga kids. And i agree with our sis here na may mga needs siya na hindi namemeet. Baka she needs to do something else with her time. if not work eh business siguro or something else productive.  And yun din let her go out with her real friends, go shopping on her own, have her me time. So goodluck bro. Wish you all the best

[drinveilside]

Agree sis, baka need na din ng counselor. Pero bro she chose na pala eh.. why not give her space muna? but anyways, i agree with you, baka fed up na siya sa bahay lang at mag alaga ng mga kids. And i agree with our sis here na may mga needs siya na hindi namemeet. Baka she needs to do something else with her time. if not work eh business siguro or something else productive.  And yun din let her go out with her real friends, go shopping on her own, have her me time. So goodluck bro. Wish you all the best

supportive naman ako dyan sa ganyang bagay na yan sa totoo lang she has a lot of friends na mga kasazumba nya she is trying to lose weight apparently kasi lagi daw syang nasasabihan ng mga relatives ko but i know they are mean so they dont help at all.

she doesnt want to work at home inoffer ko na nga yung typing ayaw nya tapos lagi nya sinasabi she wants to work abroad to help her mom nothing wrong with that but she is also saying na she aint coming pag sya daw ang nag work because apparently what i earn is just enough for us...

pero thats not always the case there times naman na anything she asked nabigay ko talagang ngayon since may highschool na kami at 3 na students namin i have to tighten the belt

she had her me time once in a while pero lately parang mas gusto nya yung me time.

last time 2 weeks lang nag overnight sya dun kasama yung online friends nya sa bahay nung bakla nilang friend puro naman sila girl at isang gay

tapos dumiretso sa binyag nung anak ng kaklase nya

none of those friends na pinuntahan nya kilala ko personally but i still let her be..

apparently kahit mag anak ka sa binyag hindi pwede kasama yung mister mo pero sakin galing yung pera para sa  regalo.

i also hate it na wala ako sa facebook nya puro picture nya lang pati picture ng mga anak namin ang dahilan nya ayaw nya daw kasi isang araw macapture yung picture ng mga anak namin tapos magugulat sya nasa craigslist na nabenta na daw anak namin. pero ginawa nya lang yung 2 years ago when she started to say she felt neglected.

kung wala talagang issue dun sa guy kahit isang post ng wife ko walang like yung guy or comment ..

[kvandenhaak]

^That means nagkikita sila sa labas kung ayaw ka nyang isama kahit binyag. She feels neglected? Dalawa lang kasi yan. It's either her complaints are legit or she doesn't value your marriage anymore. You have to find out kung alin. Go to a marriage counselor. You have to go to the bottom of this.

[khaleesiCersei]

Oh i see so may mga lakad siya na ayaw kang isama.. baka nga nagkikita na sila. Maybe that's why she did not choose you

[AprilGal26]

^ di ba the guy nga is currently out of the country?
I think, personally, gumagawa na lang sya ng away 
I went through that before. Nung nawalan ako ng gana sa partner ko, kahit simple things napag-aawayan na namin. And based sa mga na-cite mo, mukang ganon yung gusto nyang mangyari. That's the easiest way for her to say na, "give me some space", or time to think about how she really feels right now   

I'm sorry, pero I'm not the type of person kasi na mahabol sa partner once na medyo hindi na ok yung relationship. Why don't make her want to feel your presence again with your absence? 
Kinda risky to do, but you know, you cannot force someone to love you e
And I am telling you, once na irritable na sya sayo, kahit little and simple things, pag-aawayan nyo na talaga just to come up with a fight and argument.

Kung hindi mo kaya, e I gotta say, you have to do soooooo much effort to win her love back!

Good luck!

[drinveilside]

^ di ba the guy nga is currently out of the country?
I think, personally, gumagawa na lang sya ng away 
I went through that before. Nung nawalan ako ng gana sa partner ko, kahit simple things napag-aawayan na namin. And based sa mga na-cite mo, mukang ganon yung gusto nyang mangyari. That's the easiest way for her to say na, "give me some space", or time to think about how she really feels right now   

I'm sorry, pero I'm not the type of person kasi na mahabol sa partner once na medyo hindi na ok yung relationship. Why don't make her want to feel your presence again with your absence? 
Kinda risky to do, but you know, you cannot force someone to love you e
And I am telling you, once na irritable na sya sayo, kahit little and simple things, pag-aawayan nyo na talaga just to come up with a fight and argument.

Kung hindi mo kaya, e I gotta say, you have to do soooooo much effort to win her love back!

Good luck!

wow totoo palang nagyayari to.. so you think her doing that helps the situation because she felt neglected priod to the time na nahuli ko sya it was like this kahit sobrang liit na mga bagay pinag aawayan namin.

but now medyo mas relax na sya she mentioned to me she needed space but apparently the space was that kinda of space where in just let her flirt online?

yes he is out of the country because if he is here things would have been different and i wouldnt even be here asking your help. i guess god still finds a way to keep my sanity.

when i asked her if she still loves me kaunti nalang daw but she admitted that she doesnt miss me anymore because of that neglection and she always defends her friends wag ko daw pakilaman mga kaibigan nya.

the thing that drives me crazy is she met these friends less than a year and yet she values them more than me who has been there through thick and thin for 16 fcking years and she would just throw that away because she felt neglected somewhere along the way?

i am not perfect by any means i admit i was wrong and i apologized to her.

i actually told her to take the time off and just come back when she thinks she has found her self but she stayed.

[hushush]

Yo bro! Medyo masalita ka sa thread for a guy pero baka naman hindi mo mabigyan ng time ang asawa mo na kausapin o ichat..
Kasi kaming mga babae o most of us girls ay kelangan talaga ng nakakachat araw-araw lalo na kung wala makausap na adult sa bahay..indi yun puro bata lang ha..
Nag-uusap ba kayo bago matulog. About work mo or about mga bata , current events, politics, about showbiz..anything!
Recently, ito din ang naging problema ko sa husband ko.ako kasi yun taong mas gusto magchat kung may ikekwento kesa tumawag sa phone..then sya naman yung tamad magreply sa chat.o kung magrereply man e napakaikli.minsan magchachat ako ngayon tapos kinabukasan na magrereply ng "ok". Mga ganung walang kwentang kachat kumbaga.
Ilang years ko naman yun tiniis na ganun sya. Hinahayaan ko lang. Panay chat lang ako. Ofw nga pala sya. Minsan mukang t**** na lang ako ang haba haba ng mga china-chat ko tapos iniignore lang nya.. Then dumating yun time na nadepress ako. Kasi nga wala ko makausap. May mga chinachat ako sa girl friends ko pero iba kasi yung asawa mo yun kausap mo..
So napika ako. Di ko na sya chinat. Pero nag-iwan ako ng mensahe about my problem. Ang haba haba din. In short, sabi ko sa kanya, wag nya ako ignore sa chat kasi baka maghanap ako ng ibang kachat or baka hindi ko na sya kausapin.feeling ko wala akong asawa na kadamay o kausap. Parang nag-asawa ako para maging tagaalaga ng mga bata at parang kasambahay na nagrereport ng monthly expenditures sa boss nya.. Then sabi nya indi talaga sya mahilig magchat kaya tumatawag sya.saka ang hirap daw ng work nya dun blah blah..lahat naman ng bagay mahirap. Kala nya sya lang nahirapan. Di ko tinanggap yun excuse nya kasi ginagamit naman nila ang skype sa office nila kaya imposibleng di sya nakakareply sa chat..pinapalayo ang isyu..chat lang naman ang problema.. So 1week ko sya di kinausap kahit panay tawag sya. Sa anak ko pinapakausap.. Then no choice sya kundi magchat sakin..then nireplayan ko sya at inaway ko sya. Then after nun nagkabati na kami. Nagkasakit din kasi ako. Dahil na din siguro sa depression at stress. Then nakita ko nag-adjusy sya. Pag nagchachat na ako, nagrereply na sya within the day. Pag di sya makakareply tinatawagan nya ako at sasabihin na di sya makakaonline dahil busy.. Minsan di na din ako nagchachat ng pagkahaba-haba or todo sa kanya kasi nabibigyan na nya ako ng konting time.

Yung best advice na mabibigay ko sayo bro, makaaway mo na ang lahat, wag lang ang misis mo..kaya ayusin mo yan. Kung dito dami mo time magsalita against your misis, dapat marami ka din time to solve the problem or prevent it from happening..dapat masabi nya sayo bakit sya nagkakaganun. Atsaka kung ano ang gusto nya mangyari.

[ayi0119]

drinveilside ilan taon sya nun nagkaanak?

Fed up sa kids, online games, flirting, overnight with barkada, more me time, ayaw kasama ang asawa.. Ilang araw na syang ganyan?

parang gusto ata nya ng buhay dalaga?!

[drinveilside]

drinveilside ilan taon sya nun nagkaanak?

Fed up sa kids, online games, flirting, overnight with barkada, more me time, ayaw kasama ang asawa.. Ilang araw na syang ganyan?

parang gusto ata nya ng buhay dalaga?!

she was 23 when she gave birth to our first kid 36 na sya now.

Yo bro! Medyo masalita ka sa thread for a guy pero baka naman hindi mo mabigyan ng time ang asawa mo na kausapin o ichat..
Kasi kaming mga babae o most of us girls ay kelangan talaga ng nakakachat araw-araw lalo na kung wala makausap na adult sa bahay..indi yun puro bata lang ha..
Nag-uusap ba kayo bago matulog. About work mo or about mga bata , current events, politics, about showbiz..anything!
Recently, ito din ang naging problema ko sa husband ko.ako kasi yun taong mas gusto magchat kung may ikekwento kesa tumawag sa phone..then sya naman yung tamad magreply sa chat.o kung magrereply man e napakaikli.minsan magchachat ako ngayon tapos kinabukasan na magrereply ng "ok". Mga ganung walang kwentang kachat kumbaga.
Ilang years ko naman yun tiniis na ganun sya. Hinahayaan ko lang. Panay chat lang ako. Ofw nga pala sya. Minsan mukang t**** na lang ako ang haba haba ng mga china-chat ko tapos iniignore lang nya.. Then dumating yun time na nadepress ako. Kasi nga wala ko makausap. May mga chinachat ako sa girl friends ko pero iba kasi yung asawa mo yun kausap mo..
So napika ako. Di ko na sya chinat. Pero nag-iwan ako ng mensahe about my problem. Ang haba haba din. In short, sabi ko sa kanya, wag nya ako ignore sa chat kasi baka maghanap ako ng ibang kachat or baka hindi ko na sya kausapin.feeling ko wala akong asawa na kadamay o kausap. Parang nag-asawa ako para maging tagaalaga ng mga bata at parang kasambahay na nagrereport ng monthly expenditures sa boss nya.. Then sabi nya indi talaga sya mahilig magchat kaya tumatawag sya.saka ang hirap daw ng work nya dun blah blah..lahat naman ng bagay mahirap. Kala nya sya lang nahirapan. Di ko tinanggap yun excuse nya kasi ginagamit naman nila ang skype sa office nila kaya imposibleng di sya nakakareply sa chat..pinapalayo ang isyu..chat lang naman ang problema.. So 1week ko sya di kinausap kahit panay tawag sya. Sa anak ko pinapakausap.. Then no choice sya kundi magchat sakin..then nireplayan ko sya at inaway ko sya. Then after nun nagkabati na kami. Nagkasakit din kasi ako. Dahil na din siguro sa depression at stress. Then nakita ko nag-adjusy sya. Pag nagchachat na ako, nagrereply na sya within the day. Pag di sya makakareply tinatawagan nya ako at sasabihin na di sya makakaonline dahil busy.. Minsan di na din ako nagchachat ng pagkahaba-haba or todo sa kanya kasi nabibigyan na nya ako ng konting time.

Yung best advice na mabibigay ko sayo bro, makaaway mo na ang lahat, wag lang ang misis mo..kaya ayusin mo yan. Kung dito dami mo time magsalita against your misis, dapat marami ka din time to solve the problem or prevent it from happening..dapat masabi nya sayo bakit sya nagkakaganun. Atsaka kung ano ang gusto nya mangyari.

the thing is 16 years na kami magkasama parang naipon lang lahat ng heart aches nya the reason why i talk alot here is to tell you what the situation is . i cant expect an honest answer if i will filter it.

i am not trying to uplift my self here if anything i almost took my life last week stupid enough right but i told myself that i would fix it but i never thought that its going to be hard to win a battle against her friends.

I actually told her to stop talking to guy this afternoon and she didnt even choose anyone.

she told me na matagal na syang malande that being malande is part of her but she is not cheating on me, she told me if i cant accept who she is what is the reason to stay.


I told her i know i made a lot of mistakes in the past that probably drove her away but i have been giving her all the attention she needs for the past 3 months and seems like she has found this source of happiness from that guy and her online friends.

[glamorosa_09]

Kung di niyo na kaya to fix it on your own, why not try to seek marriage counseling before it's too late. Yan ay kung gusto nya.

I understand, your situation is making you feel depressed, enough for you to have suicidal ideation. And good for you na na-iisip ka naman.

Baka kailangan lang i-overhaul ng relationship niyo, gisingin yung natutulog na affections. Ang tagal na rin, 16 years. Maybe you left your marriage to chance that you didn't deliberately take care of it.