Discovered Only After my Boyfriend Cheated

[scruffy_mongrel]

My boyfriend (now ex) previously told me that his last relationship ended three years ago. Ako naman, iniisip ko, imposible na rebound girl ako kasi ang tagal na noon at according to him they rarely talk and she's already based abroad.  I was surprised when i received a message from the ex on my facebook account.  I discovered na nagbakasyon pala sya at nagkita ng bf ko.  I was so furious & my bf had no choice but to admit it to me.  According to his story, the ex was convincing him to leave me but told her he loves me he chose me.  Their "parting" was verified by the ex. 

Months later, by chance, I guessed correctly the password of his email account, lo and behold he had written several letters to the ex.  I discovered so many things in his emails.  They were constantly communicating pala & he was telling her he loves her.  He loves her but he refuses to be his boyfriend and he was denying that I was his gf sa ex nya, dating relationship lang daw kami. I really don't know what happened when they met up & why they parted because the last letter was dated prior to her visiting the country.  Parang ang nangyari, nadiskubrehan ko lahat nung tapos na yung "cheating".  I felt so deceived and cheated that I broke up with him.  I emailed back all the letters he sent to his ex but he never replied. He continues to be silent right now never texting or calling and I'm also doing the same, no communication at all.  But I really want a decent explanation from him.

I really don't know kung ginago lang ako nito o talagang minahal ako...

[chimendoza09]

sis baka naman sila na ulit ngayon, lalo na break na kayo, pero at least ma-explain man lang diba? kaya sis if you want an explanation, huwag ka mag silent silent there ha, go..sugurin mo na, magdala ka ng itak! Seryoso sis wala ka makukuha kung maghihintay ka lang, nahihiya yun kaya silent type siya ngayon, ikaw nalang mag effort para masagot na rin mga katanungan mo.

[bravo86]

But I really want a decent explanation from him.

what for?

kaya daw marami ang mga multo kasi yung mga souls (lalo na ng murdered victims) di matahimik.  wala lang.

mag blowout ka naman sis.

[9eisha]

if it were me, i'd save whatever dignity i have left and move on. no explanations necessary. his actions were enough.

[showermist]

scruffy_mongrel, 

i read one in those 'katatawan' quotes, "even if a woman already have all the evidence, they still want to hear it from the horse' lips"  tama nga yata ito. 

what do you still want to hear from him?  confirmation?  di pa ba sapat yung nalaman mo?  promise, it'll take forever for him to admit yung ginawa.

it is easier to move on sis. 

[jookeulae]

kaya nga diba, what you dont know wont hurt you. tsaka bakit ganyan, nanghack ka pa ng email ng may email. obsessed ka pa rin ba kay ex? siguro kung naging masaya ka naman nung time na kayo pa, eh di yun na yung pampalubag loob mo for being in a relationship with him. wag mo na pag-aksayahan ng panahon na bigyan ka pa nyan ng paliwanag. in the first place, may history na nga na niloko ka at nagsinungaling siya. what would be different now that he wont do the same things he did then? lalo pa, wala na kayo at wala na syang obligasyon para magpaliwanag pa.

so to end, same din ako ng suggestion with the people here. charge it all to experience, learn from it and move on.

[scruffy_mongrel]

new development...he finally communicated with me. nag explain. di ko naman sure if i will accept the explanation. pero nakikipag balikan. or kung di ko daw kaya makipag balikan, kahit daw kaibigan lang. wag ko daw sya burahin sa buhay nya.  sabi ko pag iisipan ko pa, marami pa kong pleadings at hearing na pupuntahan.  next year sabi ko, aabisuhan ko sya kung pwede na sya sa friend status.

pero sa totoo lang, its really difficult for me.  and i always pray na one day i'll wake up and i won't be thinking about it anymore. at sa kakukulit nya, minsan napapa isip ako if i was the kind of person who just gave up and didn't fight for a relationship. but the other half of me argues, if its a relationship worth fighting for.

[scruffy_mongrel]

@ jookeulae: naku im not obsessed with the ex. i actually blame the guy kung baket ako naging suspetsyosa.  it was out of character that i hack someone else's mail, because i was too trusting. nagulat lang talaga ko nung nag message yung ex at never nya binanggit pagkikita nila.  prior to that never akong matanong. if he calls na he's going out, i'd say, ok enjoy yourself, have fun. never ko man lang tinatanong kung sino kasama kasi iniisip ko, di naman siguro ko sasaktan nito. di ako si selosa gf na matalak.  and this is also one of the reason i broke up. kasi he will turn me into this kind of gf na laging nag oobserba kung ano ba ginagawa nya. ayoko na forever ako nag iimbistiga kasi wala na yung trust. forever nang hihinala. what kind of relationship would that be. 

[bravo86]

...nakikipag balikan. or kung di ko daw kaya makipag balikan, kahit daw kaibigan lang...

www.chariiiiiiiiiiing.com.ph

owthought nya! style nya bulok.

...and i guess, yung medium of communication nya is through text/chat/phone, right?

if he is that serious of winning you back, dapat pa-PACQUIAO- WINs nya lahat ng bulaklak sa Dangwa, pati bulaklak ng Katuray sa palengke, at lahat ng Chocnut sa Quiapo, at bitbitin nya lahat nun ng nakaluhod papunta sa sa bahay nyo bago nya sabihin ang mga paawa-epek na litanya.

congratz sis!

kelan ang blowout?

[glamorosa_09]

haaay... kung mag bf-gf pa nga lang sakit na sa ulo... mas lalo na pag asawa na... save yourself from a lifetime misery... marami pang lalaki dyan... forward thinking na dapat ngayon...

[quennna]

major major foul na yan sis..
yan.. di ba yan ang gusto mong marinig..
yung side nya... natahimik ka ba? di ba lalo ka lang naconfuse..
sis, move on na.. at least habang maaga pa nalaman mo kung anong klaseng tao sya.. you deserve someone better

[piggy619]

parang ganyan din ang nangyari sa akin 

i asked him about some girls, sasabihin nya friend lang nya yun. meron bang friend na may loving bear hug na nakapost sa facebook ng boyfriend ko? sa dinami dami ba namang bear hugs available sa facebook, bakit loving bear hug pa di ba?

eventually, nadiscovered ko gf din nya yung girl. pero ngayon wala na sila.

nakakainis kasi nahuhuli ko na, may ebidensya na, tapos ide-deny pa!

[Marquita]

forget that guy! humayo at gumimik! haha

[scruffy_mongrel]

New development: from his place (hometown from the south where he is based) lumuwas dito sa Manila.  Asking if he can see me...di ko alam isasagot ko. Sabi ko i'll just text him. Haaaaayyyy ano na naman to...

[Marquita]

booty call??

[scruffy_mongrel]

i doubt it, di naman sis... hehe

[quennna]

what for??? move on na sis...
you deserve someone better..

[shinta]

i believe in second chances, pero minsan need pa din pairalin ang utak kesa sa puso.

major-major na kasinungalingan ang ginawa ni bf mo sis. dapat major-major effort din ang gawin niya to win you back. kung gusto ko niya makita, bakit pa magpapaalam sayo? dapat gumawa siya ng paraan na magkita kayo whether you approve or not. kasi GUSTO ka niya makita at walang makakapigil sa kanya.

if magkita kayo, and you ask him "did you really love me?"
mapapaniwalaan mo ba yung isasagot niya? he lied to you before, even denied your relationship to his ex. it will be easy for him to lie again whilst looking straight into your eyes. anong assurance mo na yun explanation niya ay totoo na this time?

at kahit na minahal ka talaga niya, ginago ka pa din niya. that's the painful truth and you have the proof.

[ana mimi]

i guess you really need a decent explanation.. kung niloko ka lang ng basta e parang ginago ka ng harap harapan nyan...

[onefineapril]

sis scruffy_mongrel, if you were convinced (based sa mga emails na nabasa mo) na niloko ka nya talaga... and the fact that he never replied after mong ipaalam sa kanya kung anong nadiskubre mo...

bakit ka pa hihingi ng explanation? explanation for what? kung bakit ka nya "niloko?" o gusto mo lang na i-deny nya lahat ng nalaman mo?
why would you give him another chance na lokohin ka ulit

and since naglitanya na rin naman sya na kung hindi mo sya kayang tanggapin uli bilang bf.. kahit man lang kaibigan.. ano daw!?!?!?!
obviously, ok lang sa kanya na maging magkaibigan na lang kayo... at kapag tinanggap mo na maging kaibigan sya ulit... mababawasan o mawawala ang guilt na nararamdaman nya (kung meron man sya nun)...

common alibis na yan ng mga lalake sa mga babaeng iniwan nila... "sana friends pa rin tayo"


reply-an mo na lang ng ganito:  "MARAMI NA AKONG FRIENDS!" 

then move on sis.. mahirap, I know... pero kaya