eldest child ginagawang breadwinner

[sexy_maldita0089]

Para sakin ok lang maging bread winner. Ipagmamalaki ka ng magulang at mga kapatid mo. Masayang makatulong. Pero kung habang buhay wag naman gusto ko din namang mag asawa.

Tomoh!

Panganay din ako at may 8 kapatid na pinapaaral. 1 College, 4 High School, 2 Elementary at ang bunso namin nasa Kinder. Masarap naman talaga ang tumulong lalo na sa pamilya pero may times lang talaga na nakakapagod. Pero carry lang basta magsumikap lang sila na makatapos at magkawork eventually. Yun lang naman ang hinihingi ko sa kanila eh

[babyboo.0326]

agape, parehong-pareho tayo! 

[agape]

_ilovepink_ don't put your wedding on hold indefinitely for your family, someday you might regret it andblame them for your  decision.
don't let them blackmail you, i don't. I mean tayo na nagbibigay ng pera at tulong, dapat naman ang isukli nila ay respeto at utang na loob, hindi yung bibigyan pa tayo ng sakit ng ulo at samang loob.
in my case, if i am not treated right, i let them suffer the consequences imstead of letting myself worry about their circumstances.

Nakakalungkot talaga at nakakasama ng loob na siblings natin are not as hardworking like us, even thse na hindi serious sa studies nila.

[babyboo.0326]

in my case, if i am not treated right, i let them suffer the consequences imstead of letting myself worry about their circumstances.

Nakakalungkot talaga at nakakasama ng loob na siblings natin are not as hardworking like us, even thse na hindi serious sa studies nila.

i hope kaya ko yung let them suffer instead of letting myself worry about their circumstances 

the latter paragraph i have to agree with you

[grace0619]

I think it's common in many families for the eldest child to be the bread winner... I mean, I was also considered to be the bread winner. So was my dad in his family. It'll all pay off naman in the end. You'll see how good it feels to be the one who took care of your family. You just have to look at the brighter side of things.

[akireyhoj]

Well in some cases tulad ng kapag mabait sa inyo mga natutulungan nyo, pero kung abusado, ewan ko nalang kung hindi din kayo dadaing..

[babyboo.0326]

I think it's common in many families for the eldest child to be the bread winner... I mean, I was also considered to be the bread winner. So was my dad in his family. It'll all pay off naman in the end. You'll see how good it feels to be the one who took care of your family. You just have to look at the brighter side of things.

yes, given na yan sa atin e. kaso sometimes, instead of the people you help be thankful to you and then help you when you are the one in need, hindi siya nangyayari. good for you na you see that bright side, i guess you're one of the few na hindi inabuso.

Well in some cases tulad ng kapag mabait sa inyo mga natutulungan nyo, pero kung abusado, ewan ko nalang kung hindi din kayo dadaing..

i agree to this. mabait naman ako e. but if it's been happening for a long time, and they are healthy and well naman to work for themselves, i don't see any reason why not diba? kaso, some are just so abusive of your kindness.

[Longhair]

I totally agree. Ok lang tumulong if they prove to be deserving. If not, cut the cord! They will only realize your value once you stop helping them. Masakit pero may mga tao na kelangan talaga tough love.

[solepurplelife]

Count me in sisies
Im eldest, 21 y/o and considered as the breadwinner na. Before I dont have any ill feelings being the provider of the family naman. We are not blessed financially kaya at a young age naset na sa mind ko na I need to help my family. I know na kailangan ko magsipag for them. And I thought kaya I'm successful in everything that I do because God rewards me for taking care of my family. May mga times na napapagod ako especially kapag may mga arguments ako among my parents and siblings. Gusto ko mag move out from house pero I cant stand the thought of them being helpless. I keep on reminding myself that If I wont support them no one else will. 

[Superjoie]

Hi Sis, you're only 21, when I was your age I felt the same feelings towards my family. I also want to move out of our house. Pero hindi natuloy kasi alam ko na oras na umalis ako ng bahay, iba na ang magiging tungo saken ng pamilya ko. What I did is I set rules kung ano lang talaga ang ibibigay ko, kasi iyun lang yung kaya ko. Sa una mahirap, kasi syempre, they want you to give more kaso ikaw naman wala nang maibigay. Nagmatigas ako, until natangap na naman nila yung ganung sistema. Even ngaun, I'm 25 na, may mga times pa rin na nagagalit sila kasi kulang yung binibigay ko, pero madalang na lang yun.

What I suggest is magsave ka kahit papaano. Kahit maliit, this will boost your moral too. I personally enrolled in an individual savings plan (Insular- see their website if you are interested), 1000 Pesos a month lang. Sa isip ko kahit maubos ko itong cash on hand ko because of my family, okay lang may maliit na ipon pa din ako.

Lastly, pray sis. Ask for guidance and strength. 21 is too young para mastress masyado baka magkaroon ka agad ng wrinkles.

[Ms.Practical.88]

Daing ko din to, hehe, actually not just being the breadwinner. Bata palang ako ang laki ng expectations kasi i'm the eldest, expected na ako umunawa kahit na mga youngest sakin may kasalanan, household chores dapat ako gumawa, etc. dami talaga expection, minsan nasagot ko na mom ko na hindi ko hiniling magkaron ng kapatid nor maging panganay, mean lang, hehe

[chinkywinky]

^buti ka pa eldest, ako youngest sis na breadwinner, kumusta naman yun di ba  Don't ask na kung ilan kami, it's disappointing to know how big our family is but 2 lang kaming bread winner sa family. Ako at yung sister kong nasa gitna. We've been helping our family since ice age, exaggerated lang. That means mula ng mag-trabaho kami. We are sending kids to school (tuition, allowance, food, lahat!) sagot namin (at wala sila sa elementary, college na sila so madugo yung gastos pero mula nung mag aral yung mga bata kami na sumagot dahil irresponsible ang parents nila) + monthly allowance ng parents namin + medicines and check up nila + other biglaan gastos na laging nangyayari + mangungutang pa yung mga relatives namin na walang bayaran. To sum it up, LAHAT ng gastos ng family namin. Nakakapagod talaga mag intindi lalo na pag nagsabay-sabay parang gusto ko na lang mag bigti  Pero nagbigay na ko ng ultimatum sa kanila, pagkatapos ng 4 na bata sa college wala na akong papaaralin. Parents ko na lang iintindihin ko solely.

It feels great to help, yun na yung greatest achievement ko sa buhay kaya lang tao lang din, napapagod, naiiyak na pag pagod.  Ito kasi yung mahirap sa Filipino culture, yung responsibilities na hindi naman talaga dapat natin responsibility pero dahil walang sasagot, obligado natin sagutin. Hindi ko rin matiis na yung mga pamangkin ko will grow up na walang pinag aralan, or hindi ko rin matiis yung ibang mga kapatid ko pag nangailangan. For me, ang daling sabihin na 'tiisin mo, tama na hayaan mo na sila' pero hindi ko kaya yung outcome pag tiniis ko sila. So nasa akin din ang problema.

[PortiaLux]

Beso sisters. Eldest/Breadwinner here!

Buti pa yung iba immediate family lang iniintindi. Ako I'm currently living with my 'mommy' (younger sister of my real lola) and her own family. Pero hindi ako nakikitira ha. Bahay talaga naming lahat yun. Anyway, ako in charge sa electricity, net at phone. Iba pa yung abot abot na hiram na wala nang balikan pag may nagkakasakit sa kanila, walang pagkain, walang pamasahe, walang ganito ganyan sa bahay. Anyway, kapalit naman inaasikaso rin nila ako like yung food ko, wash my clothes, clean my room.

Bukod sa kanila, syempre nag-aabot din ako kahit paano sa immediate family ko na nasa province. Ang masakit lang, itong 'mommy' ko parang di kuntento na sa bills lang ako in charge. Gusto mag-abot abot din ako for food talaga regularly. For the whole family. Eh di naman kalakihan sinusuweldo ko. Yung kapatid ko nga na sumunod sakin na may asawa at anak na hirap din sa buhay, wala man lang ako naiaabot.

Ang hirap. Kasi nagsasacrifice ka na nga, kulang pa rin. Kung tutuusin, di ko naman talaga sila responsibility diba? Sa totoo lang nakakapagod. Wala na nga rin ako nabibili at naiipon for myself. Haaaay.     

[graZiousa]

i agree na its ok to give back... wlang problema ang tumulong lalo naman at sa mga magulang at kapatid. pero ang hindi dapat na mapabayaan na ang sariling pangangailanagn and happiness because you have given up everything.. And of course hindi rin tinitaken for granted ng taong tinutulungan yong sacrifices ng tumutulong...

[solepurplelife]

Hello mga sissies! Haysss, ngayon na lang ako ulit nakadalaw dito masyado naging busy buhayin ang family

Sis Superjoie, thank you! I wish I have the guts na gawin yung ginawa mo. I've tried naman yan sis pero pasaring lang. I once told to my mom na I want to save sana kaso she started to compute na mga bills and everything. Naiirita ako kapag ganun ee so wala din nangyari. Pero I understand naman my mom kasi ako lang talaga maasahan nya and I know naman that everything I gave wasn't put into waste. Actually I admire my mom kung pano nya nabubudget yung pera namin. She even put up a small business para makatulong din. Yun lang tlaga kapag minsan yung pagiging uncontented  strikes di ko maiwasan mag-isip na I'm earning on my own pero wala kong pera hehe. My colleagues often tease me na kuripot kasi they dont see me spending money sa clothes or anything luho. Parang bumubuhay daw ako ng isang pamilya ee they dont know totoo naman bumubuhay ako ng pamilya haha.

Im earning above average salary now kahit nung estudyante pa lang ako. My OJT company hired me kahit nag-aaral pa ako. Alam ko blessing ito kasi I help my family kaya kapag gusto ko magreklamo naiisip ko na kaya naman ako meron ng mga bagay na meron ako ngayon ee dahil binigay yun ni God para matulungan ko ang pamilya ko. Kahit noon may allowance pa ako sa scholarship at internship ko binibigay ko din sa mom ko. Masarap tumulong, wala kong pera pero ang consolation prize ko na lang is yung pagiging proud parent ng mom ko.

Siguro sis in two years kapag tapos na lahat ng mga kapatid ko sana makapag ipon na rin ako like you. Onting time na lang naman. 24 months na lang hehe.

^graZiousa, tama sis. Ako rin wala ako balak maging martir forever. I maybe have many sacrifices ngayon pero once nagawa ko na yung part ko at nakapagtapos na mga kapatid ko I dont think everything will be the same. Pwedeng suportahan ko pa rin parents ko pero my siblings? No way. They have to learn to stand on their own. Besides I wont be with them forever.

[Longhair]

Hmmmp, ako nga kumalas na sa family ko eto naman father in law ko may kababalaghan. Nahuli may naanakan at say nyo sa katwiran. Buti na rin daw yun since di kami magka anak ni hubby. Kapal din ng mukha. Tuluyan ng nawala respeto ko sa kanya. Neknek nila para isipin na sasaluhin namin mag suporta sa anak sa kabit nya. He needs to clean up his own mess! Tumandang paurong, aaaargh!

[babyboo.0326]

^buti nasabi mo yan sa mom mo. and buti rin at tapos ka na sa pagiging breadwinner. oo naman, you have to live your own life na, it's about time 

[Girltalker2]

I met a friend na from rags to riches sya kasi hindi nya sinustentuhan or pinag-aral mga kapatid nya.  He did not graduate from college, pero nung nagkawork sya bilang domestic helper abroad, he sent money to his family na laging limited.  Kasi ang katwiran nya iilan lang ang kinita niya at first time niya kumita, uubusin pa nila sa mga gastusin.  Early on, he first prioritized investing.  Tampo daw lagi parents nya, tapos may mga kapatid pa sya na galit sa kanya.  Pero nung lumago na investments nya, naging multi millionaire na sya, that was the only time na nagprovide sya ng mga negosyo sa mga kapatid nya.  Then yung retirement ng mom nya, sya na sumasagot ngayon.  Tsaka sya na appreciate ng family nya. 

Pero the point is, I liked his style in a way na kokonti nalang nga ang savings to invest, uubusin pa nya. Inuna nga nya ang sarili nya, but it doesn't stop there. He had a long term plan for everyone, yun nga lang, everyone has to learn to do with what they have first, then tsaka sya papasok kung kaya na nyang tumulong.  Di ka dapat tumulong kung ikaw mismo eh hindi mo kaya tumulong. One has to know his limits.

[j.adore]

Well said sis Girltalker2!

Usually ang sagot kasi ng mga breadwinner ay "ganon talaga" "walang magagawa eh" to the point na wala talagang silang savings o para sa kanila. Ganito din mga storya ng old maid na kakilala ko.

Your friend was very smart and had a lot of guts na kayanin yung mga pagtatampo at galit ng family niya and look how well that turned out

[cinnamon_sugar]

hindi lahat ng breadwinner eldest, meron din youngest. tagasalo ng failures ng older siblings.