auko pa ikasal pero minamadali..

[emostef]

im pregnant and now my parents is kinda minamadali ang wedding namin.. napepressure ako since im pregnant and i cant think right when i think about it parang auko pa magasawa mahal kung sa mahal si bf pero im not really for married life. auko naman sabihin kasi magagalit parents ko. they want us to get married para assured ako na di ako iiwan. im so confused, they kinda right, i know i dont have much trust in my bf i know how he is before though di niya ginawa sakin pero i know his past and sometimes i think tama na magpakasal kami pero at the same time parang auko pa magpakasal help me huhu baka mmaya pag nasa altar na magiiyak ako..having a baby is one thing, getting married is another i cant think straight

[damen]

Sis marriage is a lifetime commitment so dapat pag-isipan talaga. If you're not yet sure about it, talk to your parents. IMO getting married just because you got pregnant is so wrong, dapat talaga sigurado ka na.

[xiansmom]

sis kausapin mo parents mo,
explain mo lang sa kanila mabuti,
gawa ka ng excuse like saka na pag labas ni baby,
kasi gusto mo ganito,ganyan...etc.
maiintindihan rin nila yun.
dapat sigurado ka sa sarili mo at
dapat yung talagang gusto mo,
saka sis di porket kasal kana sigurado sila,
di kayo maghiwalay o di ka iiwan.
dami mag asawa naghiwalay kung sa kung anuano reasons.
ikaw dapat magdesisyon kung pakasal kana,
o hindi pa, buhay mo yan.

[m_lim]

why let your parents decide for you? IMO,nakagawa ka na nga ng baby eh.. dapat kaya mo rin mag stick sa desisyon mo na alam mong tama para sa buhay mo.

[sweety_paige]

If you don't want to get married don't do it, paki ba nila.

[chengkii]

EMOSTEF - how old are you? I would like to presume that all parents want the best for their kids. But of course, we cannot discount other reasons why parents usually panic to have their hija married the moment they learn she is pregnant.
I have a feeling that you are young...which is why your parents have this right to make decisions in your life. But IMO, you need to tell them your piece of mind. Kasi, they should also be the best people to confide to at this moment in your life.
My suggestion would be for you to tell your parents that you want to make sure that BF is the one you want to tie the knot with. Anyway, he committed to being there for you so, if everything is good after x number of years, you can get married.
If you have doubts about BF, I am not sure it would be good to share that with them, though. So focus on the good things not marrying right now will result to.

Good luck, sis.

[emostef]

thanks mga sis.. im still confused.
@chengkii.. im 22. part of me wants to marry my BF but part of me doesnt, lagi na kami nag
aaway namanhikan na sila pero nung napagusapan namin yung about sa gagastusin
parang masama pa loob niya kasi siya daw lahat though hindi naman, cyempre magshare din
kami. siguro  pareho lang kami napepressure sa situation and because of that may mga nasabi
ako bad things like nagsisisi ako bakit may nangyari pa samin ganto na tuloy nangyari etc...
di ko naman binawi kasi i mean it. im a mess, hay.. auko naman talaga magasawa pa minsan
naiisip ko lang kasi pangit naman kung broken family. but at the same time i dont know how to
tell my parents na di pa ako ready magpakasal..

[grumpybear]

I have a feeling that you are young...which is why your parents have this right to make decisions in your life.

No, her parents do not have a right to force her to marry.
Last I checked, wala sa kultura natin ang arranged marriage.

[ghellybeans]

Then just tell them that you are not yet ready to get married. That you still need time to think about what you want in your life. Hindi naitatama ang pagkakamali ng isa pang pagkakamali.

[mariedairy]

Alam mo yung magulang ng ex-wife ng hubby ko , pinilit lang din sila magpakasal dahil nga nabuntis nya yung babae  na hindi sila mag-on noon. Best friend lang nya ang ex-wife niya at hindi sinasadyang gamitin nung nalasing sya. Both of them were young at hindi pa ready. Wala din love na nararamdaman na more than a friend.

Nasan na yung lalaki ngayon? Sumama na sa akin.

Huwag magpakasal ng basta basta lang.

[evilwoman]

@emostef - if you feel like you don't want to get married yet then don't. si bf ba sa tingin mo gaano kadesidido? baka naman super decided at pati ikaw maconvince nya na ituloy ang wedding.
pero once magsabi ka sa parents mo, dapat may concrete plan kang masasabi. ano magiging involvement ni bf mo sa inyo, paano setup, etc. tsaka ano ba ang trust issues mo kay bf? dati bang nambabae? if yes, e take time muna na maregain ang trust bago kayo magpakasal. kawawa naman kasi kayo mag-ina kung mangati na naman yan e kung saan magpakamot. sabihin pa e sya tong napilitan lang pakasal sa yo. 

[ysa.belle]

@ sis emostef, wag kang magmadaling magpakasal. Saka being pregnant is not a reason to get married. Love is. Saka hindi naman kase porque pinakasalan ng isang guy ang isang girl eh assurance na iyon na hindi sila maghihiwalay di ba? Meron nga kasal na pero biglang iiwan ng guy yung asawa niya para sumama lang sa iba. Ang pangit kaya ng ganun.

Talk to your parents and explain your side. Mahal ka nila and I am sure they will understand you.

[prettykhae]

tama, wag ka magmadali at papressure porket nabuntis kana... kasi dapat sigurado ka sa feelings mo at dapat in all aspect, you are ready na to settle.  good luck...

[CityHunter]

I do have to agree with most here na IF you are going to end up unhappy ay it may be wiser not to go with the planned marriage.  What if you become a battered wife, your child ends up seeing both its parents always fighting, etc.  Besides, as long as the father acknowledges the child hindi na ma-label na bastard yan.  The law made adjustments for that although social justice is still another thing.

Do talk first with your husband-to-be kung ano input niya on this.  If siya rin mismo will find it difficult to fulfill his duties as a father and husband ay mas maganda pa nga na huwag na ituloy.  Dapat lang maging responsible siya in being a father man lang sa anak ninyo. 

[aquacharly]

why let your parents decide for you? IMO,nakagawa ka na nga ng baby eh.. dapat kaya mo rin mag stick sa desisyon mo na alam mong tama para sa buhay mo.

Exactly!  When in doubt -- don't. 
Marry for the right reasons, always.

[ebiko]

naku emostef, you are 22, and hubby-to-be is? do you both work?

don't take marriage as easy as 1, 2, 3

if you think, HINDI ka prepared emotionally -- then set aside muna ang kasal, talk to your mom, mas maiintindihan ka niya, and that way, ma-co-convince niya dad mo na, huwag na muna push through.

mas mahirap ang mag-settle kung may inhibitions ka pa. pamamanhikan pa nga lang, nagkaroon na kayo ng issues sa magagastos, what more kapag sa mismong buhay na ninyo, tapos manganganak ka pa.

and sis, iwasan ma-stress, its not good for the baby.



 

[runaway_bride25]

hi sis. omg...it happened to me too. i got pregnant at 22 also. Like you, my dad Ofcourse wanted us to get married. But hindi pa talaga ako ready at that time. I love him, pero hindi kasi niya maibigay sa akin yung assurance kung mahal niya talaga ako. While magbf-gf kami, he was babaero and all... and it was okay back then...pero when i got pregnant and wedding na pinaguusapan, it was a different story. i knew it was a commitment...i am - we were not ready to make.  since ayaw ko nga pakasal that time - i know ayaw din ng bf ko.... ang dami nangyari samin. as in parang movie. twice nacancel ang wedding namin - twice! all our preparation and money--gone! hehe.. I would not go into details na..what happened -- but it all boils down to one thing - we weren't ready. 5 years after. I proved to myself, na nagmamahalan pala kami talaga. and I knew... i can be with him forever. good times or bad. alam ko sa sarili ko, wala na akong ibang gusto pa maksama kundi siya.

i got married recently lang and im very happy i did not rush into it. Getting pregnant out of marriage is not good enough...pushing into wedding is worse--just for the sake of being married.

I am 100 % sure your parents want you guys to get married para isecure ka nila, na hindi lalabas na nakakahiya... and all...

pero come to think about it... paano kung ikasal na nga kayo--tapos maghiwalay din kayo...after some time? diba.

explain everything to your parents. tell them you're not ready. you're parents love you, they want the best for you. let them know what you decide to do... and when you decide... panindigan mo.

[tabbru]

Tsk. Maliit ang success rate ngayon ng marriages between young couples. Mas malaki pa yata ang chance na makakuha ng panibagong pag-ibig ang single mom kesa maging successful ang marriage na ganyan.

I don't blame the parents. Traditional ang mga iyan. Syempre ayaw ng kahihiyan at ayaw maging bastardo o bastarda ang apo. I guess the pregnant daughter has the responsibility to properly explain to her parents kung ano ang gusto niyang mangyari sa buhay niya. She has to tell them that she is willing to accept the consequences of her getting-pregnant-without-getting-married situation. Part nga kasi ng consequence ay iyong "chismis" ng ibang tao.