The feeling I kept for God knows how long..

[sistah!]

congratulations sis! you really have come a long way

[niki_migs]

^ hi sis pumpkin

i salute you for being a good provider to ur family.  God bless you more

[charnel]

so touch with your story, napaluha ako!you really have a good heart...kasi kaming first 3 na magkakapatid leave our home and we find a way na magkaroon ng magandang buhay, mom is the breadwinner for 8children. alam ko ang hirap ng may tatay pero wala lang but then sa house lang dad, ko I will not speak ill to the dead n lang kasi he passed away last year, kahit may hinanakit kaming mga anak sa amin lang yon and we just show our love to dad but more to mom. Nakita ko ang pinagdaanan ng nanay ko and that serves as my inspiration of what I am now. Mom is having a good life now.....at tama ang kasabihang" kung ano ang iyong itinanim, ang siyang iyong aanihin....thanks...

[cuteapril_1215]

Sis, thank you for sharing your life story with us...I thank God for you kasi ang ganda ng naging outlook mo at attitude sa life...
You have a better & brighter future ahead of you
May God continue to bless you always!

[pumpkin13]

salamat sa mga comments mga sis and thank you din if somehow i inspire other people with my story. sabi nga life is a learning process. and ngayon, i'm learning to be a better person. it's not all the time na importante ang mga material na bagay. sometimes they satisfy us pero in the end it's our perception in life which could satisfy us. i was deprived of a lot of things when i was growing up but then i realized, they don't actually matter. i always tell myself na dahil sa pinagdaanan ko, i need to have a better judgment of people and yun yung pinag aaralan ko sa ngayon.

[mommy_me]

naiyak ako sa story mo... and your such a great person....

[che2008]

God bless you sis. Very inspiring story.

[phurple0515]

sis, it was nice reading your story.  Your family esp. your mom is so blessed to have you.  Kudos also to your mom for being that strong inspite of everything that happened.  God bless you more!

[pumpkin13]

^thank you sis and to everyone inspired by my story. ang sarap ng feeling knowing that i am a blessing to other people just how they are to me. 

[girl24]

super nanay ang nanay mo sis! ang galing niya, ang tibay niya. good karma will surely come your family's way! god bless you and your family always!

[raven03]

I was teary eyed reading the story. I grew up almost the same way. Pero hanggang ngayon after my mom's death, sinasaktan Kami emotionally ng tatay namin. 4 months into my mom's death inasawa na niya [textspeak!] bagong maid sa bahay. I tried my best to mend our relationship pero he's making it so hard.

[wickedbone]

such a tearjerker story.. and very inspiring. more blessings to come your way.

[proudmama]

^sis sobra naman akong nainspire sa iyo kasi kahit andaming ginawang di maganda ng dad mo, still ginagawan mo pa din siya ng mabuti. i wish i can be like you. i wish i can let go of the bitterness and hatred in my heart.thank you for sharing your story.  di ko makita yung mga letters sa keyboard ko kasi i'm crying while typing my reply. sobrang nakakatouch ang kwento mo

[pillows14gurl]

I cried when i read this post... im so touched with the story...

I admire your mom for her courage and willpower to continue with her life and raise her family... im sure na whatever hirap at pasakit na pinagdaanan mo, it is 100x more maskit for your mom at tiisin lahat ng nakikita nyang nangyayari sa family nyo that time...

I admire you for being mabit at maunawain na anak.. at least may utak ka to go on with your life and extend your help sa brother mo... im sure your mom is so proud to have you as her daughter kase hindi ka napariwara kahit na ganon un ngyari sa buhay nyo...

and kahit hindi kita kilala or un family mo, hats off to you because you have a big heart and you are right to let this feelings go ... salamat sa pagpapatawad mo sa dad mo.. and i know with all the hardships you encountered may kapalit na magandang life yan for you and your brothers a big hug to you brave girl!

[Tigershark09]

I was so touched by your story sis Lalo na yung part na nanghihingi na ng barya ang mommy mo para lang mapakain kayo. she's such a strong dedicated woman. You wouldn't have been a strong person if you didn't see that in her. And you learned to forgive your dad because of your mom as well. Siguro hindi talaga natin ma-arok ang ka-martyran ng isang ina para sa kanyang pamilya. They will do everything and anything, kahit mawalang ng pride para lang sa mga anak.

I hope you learn to let go of your past and look forward to a brighter happier future. Hindi na natin mababago ang mga bagay na nangyari na at mga taong nakasakit sa atin. Pero hindi ibig sabihin na hindi natin magagawang pasayahin ang buhay natin. It's your call sis. You can either be bitter or happy. I hope you find your true happiness

[prettykhae]

sis TS, napakapalad ng pamilya mo dahil may busilak kang puso. hindi man naging isang mabuting tatay ang ama mo sa inyo, naging mabuting anak ka pa rin sa kanya kahit ganun ang ginawa nya. god bless you.

[maye2k]

Sis

Nakatatak pa sa isip ko when one day, nung dumating ang kumpare ng dad ko looking for him (my dad was with the other woman) and my mom was crying then kasi wala kami kakainin. The kumpare gave my mom P5. Nasa hagdan ako nun, nakaupo, watching in horror how my mom accepted the coins.

Sis, this situation really made me cry. It reminds me of my personal experienced during my childhood years. My mom is a public school teacher earning so little because of "UTANG" just to provide or needs. My dad is working as PNB "Palaging Nasa Bahay" not at PNB (hahah) or sa SSS "Sigeg Suroy Suroy" a Cebuano translation of Laging naglalakwatsa. Always got home drunk, hit mom when she fails to give what he want (more money for his vices).

I witnessed everything in my so young age. There was even a time when mom had to beg for at least a CAN of rice sa kapitbahay namin kasi wala kaming makain that night. Just imagine how could it satisfies us having 8 siblings in the family.

I can't help but hate my dad for that situation alone. It took me till I reached High School to finally got the courage to talk face to face with my father. I didn't give him space to talk, I burst out everything. I know it was like a hell to him hearing my words at the end kasi nagiging mean na ako masyado. Binuhos ko lahat ng sama ng loob ko at pinamukha ko sa kanya kung gano siya ka sama sa amin. I didn't mind na kung ano lumabas sa bibig ko basta ang gusto ko maipamukha sa kanya lahat lahat. Akala ko nga while talking to him that way makakatikim ako ng sampal sa kanya. Pero he never do it. I just finally saw him teary eyed and said "anak patawad kung nakapagdulot man ako ng pasakit sa inyo". I can't feel more than the pain seeing my dad cried out loud. I never expect him to react that way.

After sa nangyari, naging madalas na kaming mag usap ng dad ko. Naging open na siya sa akin about things he have kept for so long. Kaya pala siya ganon sa amin kasi may bad experiences din siya before sa family niya.

After non, di na siya gano nag lalakwatsa at nag iinom. Sinabi pa nya sakin na nahihiya daw siya sa pinaggagawa nya before sa amin. I told him napatawad at naiintindihan namin siya.

[pumpkin13]

Thanks to everyone who read and sympathized especially to those who got inspired by my story. 

@ maye2k: it's a good feeling sis to let go of all the hatred. parang nakalaya ka talaga sa lahat ng mabibigat ng pakiramdam. buti okay na kayo. be thankful that at least naparealize mo sa kanya yung mga dapat nya narealize noon pa.

my dad and i are okay. not really good but okay. i mean, we're still not close but at least wala na yung dating awkwardness when we see each other. we could now talk about certain things kahit hindi anything or everything. madalas my mom and i would call each other to update on each other's everyday life. minsan may mga nakkwento pa din sya sakin about some things my dad does na hindi maganda. pero we just laugh it off and say, "hayaan na lang natin. parang hindi pa tayo nasanay." everything about him naman is tolerable na at the moment. so wala na ko issues with family. at least ang issue ko na lang sa sarili ko is yung buhay ko. 

[Cheesecak3]

Very inspiring story sis.

Naniniwala ako na dapat natin pakawalan ang mga negative na feelings natin para mas magaan ang pag angat natin at nagawa mo yon ng mabuti sis.

Thanks for sharing your wonderful story. God Bless you!

[CityHunter]

Hi, pumpkin13.

He he, weird ng handle mo. 

I congratulate you for not only have you used your experience to remain strong and positive but have become something not like what your dad was.  I also congratulate your mom for being strong despite the hardships she faced. 

Sa situation ninyo right now ay as long as you and your siblings realize the errors of what your dad did AND will not repeat those ay you will put an end to such experiences.  The key is not only finding the right partner for like but also maintaining it.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself on this.  Sigh.  Hindi ka nag-iisa sa dinanas mo.  There are a lot like yours and I do hope and pray that they can be as strong as your mom and you too.  As they say, ang pagsisisi ay laging nasa huli but at least your dad was given a chance to correct his errors and you've forgave him na.