this should have been my happiest month...my wedding :( {Journal to Recovery}

[holli_may]

@ sis openmindedsoul === yup, sis, i'm working my way on moving on. really trying my best to move on. kung last year pa me panlalamig si ex, sis, then he must have been a very good actor kasi ala talaga akong napapansin. he was even the one who was so insistent na kasal muna kami before kami mag-focus sa business to make our living in together legal and para mas me security daw ang pagstart namin ng business. pero i really don't know, sis, eh. only ex could really answer things even for that officemate of his, ala naman talagang confirmation between them even now. so i really don't know what's in his mind. basta ang sa akin lang ngayon is i really want to move on na. ayoko nang palagi akong lugmok. ayoko ko nang maging lonely. and thanks sa concern, sis, because yes i'm preparing na to move out soon

@ sis ysa.belle === wanna pm, sis?

[holli_may]

@ calin22 === kakayanin talaga natin to, sis, kasi we really have to

[ysa.belle]

@sis holli_may, database error ang lumalabas everytime nagttry ako mag PM 

[holli_may]

o nga, sis. tinry ko din and yun nga ang lumabas

[gbrosas]

@sis holli_may and sis angeleigh - so painful talaga. ive been through with that too, (mapakwento lang) 8years kami and we're planning to get married na rin that time pero same story with you guys, may mga kakaibang nilalang na hindi makuntento at pilit naagaw ang kaisaisa kong minahal (first and only BF)...i said to myself na hindi ako iiyak after ng major major kong crying day...pero ganun pa rin...kasama yata ng pagheal ang pagiyak...it was a daily thing na to me (morning-midday-afternoon-evening...so many times in a day)...nasanay na rin mga nakapaligid sa akin kung bakit namumugto mga mata ko...eh wala akong magawa kasi marami kang maaalala eh, and its hard to accept betrayal on his part....sobrang dami kong trabaho nun ha, at to the point na 11pm to midnight na ako umuuwi from work..pero naiisisingit ko pa rin ang crying moment...so go on sis, cry lang ng cry...makakatulong yan to move on....

anyway ang difference lang natin is after 5years naming hiwalay, nagkrus ulet landas namin and it was a happy ending pa rin...siya pa rin ang nakatuluyan ko...

pero until now pag bigla kong naaalala yung mga araw nayun or mga unforgettable moments, i cant help but cry again pero minor na lang...

ill pray for your healing mga sis...God bless!

[ysa.belle]

sis holli_may, i just emailed you...

[holli_may]

@ sis gbrosas === so nice to hear your happy ending, sis sana kung yung mga exes namin ni sis angeleigh (at ng iba nating mga sisses dito who undergo the same pain) ang talagang meant for us, sana we'll have the same happy ending like yours. pero kung hindi man, sana makapag-move on na kami as soon as possible kasi masakit man aminin pero life gets wasted away with this state of emotion

[holli_may]

@ sis ysa.belle === replied na sis

[angeleigh]

Weird, pero after nung day na yun...Parang ready na talaga akong mag-let go. Yun kasi yung naghohold back sakin eh.

Sobrang iyak ako nung araw na yun, wala akong productive na nagawa.

Pero after that, parang magiging okay na ako. Although a lot of people tell me na i look sad, kahit nakasmile ako.

But i know that time will heal me.

Thanks sa lahat ng advise mga sis. Sis holli, lets move on na! Apir!

[holli_may]

@ sis angeleigh === cheers! to our determination to move on sis

[ysa.belle]

got your pm sis...

basta mga sis, cry your heart out lang at one day matatapos lahat ng yan. its their loss, hindi inyo.

[deliciously_ridiculous]

Weird, pero after nung day na yun...Parang ready na talaga akong mag-let go. Yun kasi yung naghohold back sakin eh.

Sobrang iyak ako nung araw na yun, wala akong productive na nagawa.

Pero after that, parang magiging okay na ako. Although a lot of people tell me na i look sad, kahit nakasmile ako.

But i know that time will heal me.

Thanks sa lahat ng advise mga sis. Sis holli, lets move on na! Apir!

Sis angeleigh i saw your post sa silent feelings thread and i can't help but feel sorry for you and and i cant bear to see you like that... how long have you been crying and feeling sorry for yourself?? its time to wake up and move on, stop going to their fb pages.. ako sobrang bihira na nga ko mag-fb, minsan napapavisit na lang ako bigla sa fb nung babae tapos makikita ko different profile pic nila na sila magkasama considering na 3 months ago pa lang kami ngbreak (we're together for 9 years, plan to get married na sana and magmigrate sana ako dun sa bansa niya) i even visited him on my own expense. then after a few weeks pinamukha nung ex ko saken at sa lahat na meron na siyang pinalit saken (we didn't even have a formal break up) i never talk to him since i saw their sweet photos together on his sister's fb.. nakatag pa yung malanding babae  na yun... sis maybe i'm still bitter, but i'm not wallowing in self pity, i'm trying to see the brighter side and you know, explore other possibilities, there are times na malala ko siya tapos wala na kong pakialam kung ano mangyari saken, bumagsak man ako sa mga classes ko dito at mapauwi sa pinas dahil sa pagpapabaya ko sa career and studies ko dito (student visa ko dito sa sydney), oo napapabayaan ko na lahat dito and i feel like going home and just give up on my dreams, in denial pa din siguro ko,  maybe im still bitter and hurting but i make sure that i don't wallow on it, and focus and explore other possibilties. I'm trying to date now.. im dating someone and hopefully meet some more, basta this time i know what i want in a relationship, and alam ko kung ano mga pagkukulang ko before sa kanya and sa relationship namin kaya sa next one na papasukan ko i make sure it'll be perfect (at least for me) take care sis, if you need someone to talk to, pm me    

[angeleigh]

^Yay, oo medyo dramatic mga post ko don. Feel na feel ko talaga na siya kausap ko e. hehe.

Thank you sis. Yes I am still hurting, sobra sobra that sometimes I feel like giving up. Ang hirap magpalakas ng loob.

I dont date yet. Nawalan na ata ako ng gana sa mga lalaki and sa relationships. Feeling ko sayang lahat.

I am trying to pick up the pieces again, pero ang sakit, ang hirap. Sana nga matapos na ito... Thank you for your concern sis. I really appreciate it! *kisses*

[holli_may]

@ sis angeleigh === buti ka pa sis you feel better na after you texted him. me, i'm still debating kung itetext ko siya. sobra na naman akong natetempt itext siya pero i'm scared kasi baka i-achapwera na naman nya ko just like the last time we met. i'm so itching to text him, sis. do you think it will be a good idea?

[ysa.belle]

^para sa akin sis, wag nalang. baka lalo ka pang masaktan at baka he might say something na ikasakit mo. delete mo nalang yung number niya sa cellphone mo para di ka matempt...

[angeleigh]

^Nasaktan ako sa ibang mga sinabi niya nung nagtext siya sakin. But he also said this "ayaw ko na sana magreply para mafeel mo na wala na talaga akong pakialam sayo. it isnt that way naman, gusto ko rin maayos at maging masaya ka" --this somehow gave me peace of mind. Kasi sobrang sakit noon na parang walang wala na talaga siyang pakialam kahit masaktan ako. At least now i know that it isnt the case. Hindi man niya na ako mahal, at least now i know na kahit konti may malasakit naman siya sakin.

I actually dont feel better. hehe. Sobrang hurting pa rin ako ngayon, pero wala naman ako/tayo choice diba?

[ysa.belle]

^sa sakit ng ginawa niya sayo sis eh dapat lang naman na magtext siya na he wants you to be happy.

[angeleigh]

^Siguro sa guilt niya na rin, kaya gusto na niya ako maging happy. hehe.

[minikeyklush]

hi All im just new here, hope i could find some new friends.. di ako makapaniwala na madami din plang tao ang pinagdadaanan yung pinagdadaanan ko ngaun.. hays.. 

Thanks!

[ysa.belle]

^hello there! you can find new friends here in GT. and kung ano man ang pinagdadaanan mo eh im sure meron 1 or 2 sa mga GT sisters ang dumadanas or dinanasan na iyan. post ka lang. we are here for you sis.

btw, welcome sa GT