Living Arrangements After the Wedding

[chengkii]

^ Sis, meron naman timeline iyun paglipat mo sa house niyo ni h2b. So i don't think magiging issue pa iyun sa parents mo if mag stay ka doon for the next 9 months.

[cream_puffs]

^thanks sis. baka kasi 'di na rin kayanin ng budget if mag-rent pa ko habang nagbabayad kami ng downpayment for the condo. iba pala pag ofw rate saka local rate pag maglo-loan sa pagibig. pag local kasi 10% downpayment lang. pag ofw dapat pala 20%. doble. waaah! oh well ok na ding first investment namin habang wala pang baby 

[chengkii]

Ah, talaga? Di ko alam na ganoon pala iyun. Pero mas madali naman mabayaran pala kung mas malaki na-down mo.
Good luck sis.

[lyn]

My husband has his own apartment, I move there actually 2 week before our wedding. I migrated here in US with him. And since I twisted my ankle the morning we got married we didn't go to our honeymoon. We re-set it after a year. We went to Florida (Disney World) for honeymoon, when we got home we're busy looking for a starter home for us. We got it a month after our first anniversary.

We also agree sa hubby ko that never kami mags-stay with the in laws. For privacy, also to aviod pakialam sa relationship namin and how we run our household, finances, and decisions we'll have. We love our freedom to do anything in our house, kahit we walk around naked sa bahay namin pwede. Ha ha ha LOL

[sweetjen]

better if have your own place

[purplelover]

my parents told my hubby that if we are to get married, we should live separate from our relatives.  mas maganda daw un kasi kahit late na magising or matulog, or kahit sardinas lang ang food walang makikialam. and it is the time for us to adjust with each other. dun namin malalaman kung ano ugali ng isa't-isa.  dapat wala rin ibang relatives na makikitira sa amin.  im glad we took their advice.  we now have a townhouse, sort of an investment for us also.

[feelingera]

lucky for us i guess...


coz, while preparing for our wedding naghahanap na din kami ng bahay, it's not an option na makisama kme sa family nya at family ko [textspeak!] hubby is working abroad every other month ang uwi nya...ayaw din nya na itira ako sa kanila [textspeak!] nga madalas naman na ala sya...so right after the wedding dun na kme sa bahay namin...

[mishmish]

How i wish we have our own place para mas may privacy, walang nagmamasid sa mga kilos, walang makikialam kung anong oras ang tulog at gising ko and most of all walang eepal sa diskarte ko sa pag-aalaga kay baby... hayy...right now, nakatira kami sa house ng in-laws ko.. pero they don't stay here naman, nasa province sila taking care of their business there.. yun nga lang once in a while they come home, which i really hate 

[kurengkeng]

before we got married, we both agreed not to live anywhere near our families. sya taga QC, ako taga Pasig. so we decided to live walking distance lang sa office, far from QC/Pasig -- Makati ;-) i didnt want to live with my parents kasi strict yung mga yun e.  and i didnt want to live with his family, hindi sila squatter's area, pero nagmumuka na dahil sa dami ng kapatid nya (7) at tabi tabi sila matulog. sa sahig. ang kutchon nila karton. at katabi pa ang madudungis nyang pamangkin. bad na kung bad pero ayaw ko, period. hehe

however, on our 3month as married couples, i got pregnant. e wala kami makuhang yaya, so we had to give up our apartment and live with MY parents. excited dahil first apo nila, pero lumalabas pa din ang pagka strict.

and during those times, we were in hell! di kami magkasundo ni husband. pag late sya nagising, sesermunan ako ng daddy ko. pag nag iwan ng kahit isang baso si husband sa lababo, sermon na namn. ang nangyayari tuloy, kami ni husband ang nagtatalo.

my daughter was around 1.5 year old when one night nag away my parents and i had an argument. sinampal pa na ako ng daddy ko in front of husband, wala sya magawa coz he was holding the baby. we left that same night. and promised not to live with them again.

so nag stay kami for one night sa house nila. pero hindi ko talaga kinaya kaya nagpasundo ako sa ate ko the ff day at dun kami tumira sa filinvest laguna. until we found an apartment near our work again.

pero siempre, parents ko yun, i asked forgiveness and we're okay naman na since then.

that was 9yrs ago. now we live separately pa din, i am my own boss. tanghali man ako magising, walang nakiki alam. mag sigawan man kami, walang makakarinig.

kasehodang walang matira sa sweldo ko sa pagbayad ng apartment!

[showermist]

sa amin, we'll go on a honeymoon for a week tapos sa condo ko sa mandaluyong kami titira  pero i need to fly out of pinas a week after the wedding at susunod lang din si asawa in a couple of months.
okay lang sa akin na tumira kina IL ng ilang week (kung magbago plans), mababait naman sila. ako ang katsismisan nila lols

[iristacey]

right after wedding, i stayed at his family kasi umalis siya. when he returned, we rented a place near our office. then when he transferred to a new company near their place, balik in-laws kame until now. gusto ko pa din talaga magsarili, kahit rented space lang.

[kaye27]

ako now after the wedding, nakatira kami sa haus nila, since sya nagbabayad lahat ng needs nila.. I agreed naman to it pero sabi ko 1 year lang kaya ko tiisin. kasi i know kahit mabait naman MIL ko i know di maiiwasan magkagiriian kami. sa ngaun ok pa since weeks palang naman kami nakatira dun.. we'll see paglipas ng ilang months.. pero hirap mag adjust talaga pag nagsisimula palang kau tapos nakikisama kapa.

[melai0501]

Lucky for us kasi we already have a condo unit before we got married.

[sweetbabycakes]

we both decided na bumukod, magkasintahan pa lang kami. mahirap makisama no. so ngayon kahit naghihirap kami sa pagmemaintain ng apartment, ok lang. wala namang nangengelam.

truth be told, nakapagsimula na kaming mag adjust since we lived together na before the wedding. pareho kasi kaming malayo sa bahay (laguna at cavite) and we both work sa makati. when we got engaged, and his dorm was being improved (demolished and rebuilt), we decided to shack up kahit pa hindi pa kasal. that year was a real eye opener.

we rented 2 apartments before the wedding, and when we moved in sa tinitirhan namin ngayon, it was easier. dahil secret yung shacking up namin (and we will take it to our graves) from our families, we had a bit of a hard time explaining where we got this and that, etc. we had to lie that the tv was given by this person, the ref from etc. anyway, OT na ata. just wanted to share.

nga pala, although we lived together na in 2 apartments before we got married, iba pa rin ang adjustment after the wedding. i think easier kesa kung ngayon lang kami nagkasama, pero iba pa rin. harder, kasi lahat asikaso ko na. dati kasi inuuwi pa nya sa house nila yung damit nya, ngayon i have to do everything. dati linis ng house at cook lang. weekends kasi uwi kami ng respective houses namin dati. ngayon bisita na lang.

[Msfi]

Sa amin naman before we got married eh sinabi ko talaga na di ako titira sa kanila kahit anong mangyari, ok lang kung dalaw at overnight lang.  May heart problem kasi ang MIL ko at ayaw kong atakihin sya sa puso ng dahil sa akin. 

Buti na lang may binigay ang parents ko na isang unit ng apartment kaya right after the wedding eh bumukod na kami.  Ngayon pa lang kami mag plan na magpatayo ng house na talaga,kasi ngayon pa lang kami nagkababy.

[a_y_e_n]

before our wedding, ino-offer na saken ng parents ko yung isang bahay namin. nung sinabi ko sa then fiance ko, umayaw sya, kung pwede daw sa house muna nila since malaki naman yun tsaka para makatulong din kame sa maintenance ng bahay nila. nagulat papa ko tapos sinabihan ako na mahirap talaga makisama sa in laws. dinidiscourage nila ako eh wala naman ako magawa kase nga nakiusap yung then-fiance ko eh, tsaka malapit lang naman sa office namin kaya pumayag na din ako.

i should have listen to my parents and other relatives... mahirap nga tumira sa in laws kahit anong bait nila sayo, di ka kase makakakilos ng maayos.. mahirap din magpaalam na bubukod kase nakakakonsensya since malaki ambag namin sa house...

nagyon, after a year of marriage, di ko na talaga kaya, gustong gusto ko na atlaga magsarili lalo na malapit nako manganak. i talked to my papa first tapos ino-offer nya ulit yung isang bahay namin. then i talked to my hubby. pumayag naman siya pero nakiusap kung pwedeng magbigay pa din kame ng panggastos sa house nila. nag-agree nalang ako basta lam nya na kame ng family nya ang dapat priority nya. we'll be moving to our own place sa july, after 1 year and 7 months na nakatira sa kanila, a month after ko manganak na din to. 

[ecnarfoj]

I was pregnant already when we got married. My husband's work is in laguna and ako naman sa eastwood. We both decided na sa south muna siya, sa bahay ng parents and ako sa bahay ng parents ko sa marikina.

Weekends lang kami nagkikita pero kinalaunan, di na natiis ng asawa ko, gabi-gabi na samen umuuwi from laguna to marikina.

After a year, bumukod na kami. Inuupahan namen yung vacant house ng pinsan niya. Although yung bukod naman is katabi ko yung in-laws dahil isang compound lang. ok pa rin kasi I run the house. iba naman yung house ng MIL ko so walang issue pagdating sa decision making.

[geekchiq]

^I'll have the same living arrangement with you sis. After our wedding this month, no honeymoon for us since am already pregnant. I will be staying at my house and siya dun sa dorm near his work. Luckily for us, we're both living in South so madali lang. but still, ayaw ko muna siya mahirapan since he's working at night and medyo malayo din yung samin sa work niya. Living sa dorm na nirerentahan niya is not an option because medyo delikado dun lalo na sa gabi, tapos buntis pa ako.

But we agreed na after delivery ni baby, sa house muna namin kami. Once once I get back to work, I'll have early morning sched or late night sched, hindi siya fixed. Plus, I don't want to get a yaya, mas gusto ko si mommy ko mag-aalaga dahil unang apo sa side namin. Besides, mag-isa lang si mommy sa bahay, kaya nalulungkot siya.  At least, pag may apo na siya, malilibang na siya. Tsaka I give my mom some percentage of my sahod kaya mahirap pang humiwalay, e yung binibigay ko pa naman, pwede ng pangmonthly rent sa apartment.

But I am hoping to get our own place after a year, pag medyo malaki na si baby, at mas pwede ko na paalagaan sa yaya.

[yaskulet]

I am getting married this December and nag papagawa ako bahay sa tabi mismo ng bahay ng parents ko. Ang dami nag aask baket daw doon, eh gusto ko doon eh. Ako panganay and ok na okay ang relationship namen ng parents ko and sisters ko. Wala silang problema ni H2B so good din na doon na lang siya kesa ako ang nasa bahay nila. Mag aaway lang kami lagi if doon ako titira. At least doon sa bahay namen, pede ako mag tamad tamadan hindi ako sisitahin ng magulang ni H2B. Parents ko sanay naman sa routine ko so kebs lang sila. Besides, eversince ang parents ko di nakikialam sa mga gusto ko gawin dahil alam nila ang personality ko. So doon ako nag pagawa kesa doon sa tabi ng bahay nila H2B. hehe.

Okay naman si H2B sa idea kasi feel na feel din naman niyang pamilya siya samen, kesa ako sa kanila.

In a way, happy ako kasi we have our "own" house kahit kadikit lang ng bahay nila daddy. May sarili kaming gate and all. So isa siyang separate entity. I am thankful for my parents hinayaan nya kaming mag tirik ng bahay bahayan sa tabi nila.

I can't imagine living with my in laws as in. Hindi ako makakagalaw ng maayos even makaupo ng matagal. Feeling ko puro pintas aabutin ko doon in case! LOL!

[smoothie]

if there was one thing that you should prioritize. it should be this. i would choose this over my honeymoon.