How to deal with this pain alone?

[avd]

I am alone and 3 1/2 months pregnant. My ex and I talked over the phone and he told me "unti unti ng nawawala pagmamahal ko sayo". It hurts so much because I carry our baby inside my tummy. If he said that without me having a baby, I really would not care at all. I just thank God for my family and friends who are very supportive of me but there are times when I get sad most especially when I visit my OB because I am alone and women around me have their spouses beside them. Or when I am alone thinking that it is so unfair for my baby to be raised in a broken family set - up. Since the day he knew about my pregnancy, he changed. I was the one who first gave up because he seems not interested with me and the baby anymore. He accepted my rejection of him right away and did not bother to make any efforts to make our relationship work. I am trying my very best to stay strong for my baby and I know God will never leave us alone..

Sad to hear your story...
Some guys just cant really take sudden change in situations...in your case, having a baby.

[shineadet]

  be strong mga sis. ako din dumaan sa ganyan. halos lahat naman may mga ganyang experience, just be strong. it's not rainy all the time. isipin nyo na lang na matatapos din yan. what comes out after every storm ba?

[lovesick]

I am going through this pain right now. hindi pa kami nag bi-break officially pero he's not showing his love to me anymore. ako pa nagmakaawa na sana manlang mag i love you siya sa akin sa text or email.

hay ang hirap basta... 


how to be strong ba?

i'm feeling the same way i really don't know what to do i still love him very much. 

[cinder05]

Hi sis,
wala, masaktan ka lang haggang magsawa ka, then pag nagsawa ka hahanapin mo din maging "ok". May stages talaga ang pagiging heart broken.

[ubengbaka]

I Agree with sis Cinder05.

It's okay to feel pain. Ramdamin lang. Iiyak kung kinakailangan. Because the more you try to hold it in or deny yourself the pain, magiimplode ka. Issues will rot inside. Dyan na tutubo ang mga bagaheng bibitbitin mo in the future.

Expect na sa after break up you'll feel insecure or yung self esteem mo down the drain. You will question yourself. Feel bad, etc.

Meet new friends and go out. AFter a week of mourning, start channeling your sadness somewhere. Like writing, exercise, shopping etc. Pamper yourself. But please don't go out and sleep with guys.Some girl do that to feel better. It can cause further complications.

Eventually naman magsasawa ka sa nararamdaman mo. You'll wake up one day feeling better. Just pray.

[piatos]

Wala na talaga kami ng bf.  Sobrang lungkot kasi nafefeel ko wala na talaga.  Yung hindi kana talaga mahal kahit ano pa gawin ko hindi na niya napapansin parang sagabal na lang ako sa kanya.  Wala akong ginawa kundi umiyak ng umiyak.  Nasasaktan ako na hindi na niya ako pinapansin.  Gusto ko pa din mahalin niya ako kaso wala na eh. Kahit ano pa convince ko sa sarili ko na kaya ko ang hirap-hirap magmove on at kalimutan siya.  Denial pa din ako until now.  Sinisisi ko din sarili ko bakit kami hindi na magkaayos now.  Sana makalimutan na kita kahit mahirap kelangan kong gawin 

[snow25]

How to deal with the pain especially if you are far away from your family and closest friends? I have friends here overseas but not like the friends I have back home. It is sooo painful that getting up and going to work feels like a struggle. I feel miserable everyday.  We have common friends, and liit n circle of friends ko.

I even hear from our common friends that he is now happy with the girl he chose over me and I'm here left alone and hurt.  I hope one day I'll wake up and the pain will no longer be there. Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night or early morning and he's the first thing that comes to my mind and the pain and the picture of him with the girl in his arms... *sigh* One day I'll be happy and I hope soon...  All of us gtalkers in this situation right now, I hope we'll get over with the pain soon and be happy. we can do this.

[lady gwenhwyfar]

awww...I was like this a year ago. And I know the pain that you are going through. Women hold on for too long. Just know na kung gusto ka ng lalaki, ipaglalaban ka nila. They'll do everything for you. Us, women should know how to let go. Alam ko mahirap but let it go. If he doesn't make you happy, then he's the wrong man. Let him go. Huwag ng ipilit. Focus on making yourself happy. Our world shouldn't revolve on just one man. Our priority is ourselves and not anyone else.
Ang mga babae kasi pinalaki sa culture na kapag walang relationship parang kulang tayo eh. You know what, let's prove them wrong. We are okay by ourselves. Our happiness shouldn't depend on anyone else. Let's all work on that.

[desiree]

hi sisses! I think you can only move on if you accept and forgive the person. Make it your goal to accept, forgive and move on. Make it your outlook. Everyday tell yourselves that you accept and forgive. Past is past already and it cannot be undone. One must just have to learn from it. Remember, if a person decides to leave you, the first thing you have to do is accept rather than hold him back. It will save you from a lot more heartaches and pain. It may be difficult at first but remember only the first step is the hardest. The road may not be easy but eventually you'll get there. If the person can move on without you and could go on with their lives without talking to you, so can you.

Remember, letting go and moving on is not a sign of weakness. It only mean that you are strong enough to do it for somebody else's happiness. Everyday think "this will pass. eventually this will pass. accept forgive and move on", make it your mantra. Good luck sisses. I know you can make it. Eventually you will. Hugs.

[pinkadelic]

going through this right now. one day bigla na lang hindi ka na niya love. so difficult to swallow

[crazycoolchic19]

Mind over matter, kahit gaano kasakit ...you have to  accept, move on and forget him.there are times na maiiyak ka, pero dadaaanan mo lang yun phase na yun,and ull be better soon.
Focus urself on other things, be busy....and pinaka importante talk to God, believe in yourself na makakalimutan mo sya.

[hyeuna03]

I'm so sad right now.... walang lasa ang pagkain... walang gana pumasok... naiiyak maski saan... natutulala lagi.... ang bigat ng dibdib ko... everyday is a struggle to survive because of the loneliness brought by a broken heart. Ayoko lalo pag gumagabi, that's when I'm lonelier.... paggising ko sa umaga, the cycle repeats... hay....

alam mo sis, i can relate, i went through this stage.. nagkaron ako ng phobia sa gabi.. pag mag gagabi na, i was lonelier.. pag pagabi na, naiisip ko agad mga kasama ko sa bahay, pag gabi ang sasarap ng tulog nila, tas ako ni hindi ako dalawin ng antok.. i felt so alone. 

[snove_12]

going through this right now. one day bigla na lang hindi ka na niya love. so difficult to swallow

Me too sis, so hard kahit you had experienced it before parang it's timer ulit

[michipoo]

Hi mga sis. I'm the thread starter and I would just like to update you and motivate you as well

I've been through a lot, nung pinost ko to, hindi pa yun ang pinaka worst na nangyari samin. Madami pa mas malala. At pakiramdam ko noon tapos na ang buhay ko kasi sobrang sakit ng naramdaman ko. Literal na masakit ang dibdib ko. I cry everyday. I tried to be perfect, yung tipong wala siya mahahanap na butas para masabi niya na may mali ako at para bigyan siya ng dahilan para iwan ako. So what I did is talagang I give my all. Lahat ng kaya ko. Lahat ng pagmamahal ibinigay ko wala ako tinira sa sarili ko. Pero wala talaga eh, hindi niya naapreciate yun. Until one day naisip ko nalang "wala saakin ang problema, kundi nasakanya." Ginawa ko na lahat ng kaya ko pero wala padin so sa tingin ko siya na ang may problema.. Tapos slowly I fell out of love. Its a very long process. Hindi bigla na pag gising ko di ko na siya mahal.. Dumating sa point na nadrain na ko talaga. Na napagod na ako magmahal ng taong di naman ako pinapahalagahan.. Tumigil na ko sa pangungulit sakanya..

After some time nakipag bond ako sa friends ko and I started dating, I met a guy (my boyfriend now) na sobrang kabaliktaran ni ex pagdating sa ugali. He's an answered prayer talaga. Minsan bigla ako naiiyak kasi sabi ko God ang bait bait mo sakin, kasi inilayo mo ko sa taong sinasaktan lang ako at di ako naapreciate. Thank you kasi binigay mo siya sakin yung right guy.

 My bf now is a good man,we've been together for a year now  hindi perfect ang relasyon namin, we have our own ups and downs but hindi katulad nung kay ex na masasabi kong impyerno ang naging buhay ko. He made me realize na I don't deserve to be treated like a trash.

To all the girls na nahihirapan sa sitwasyon nyo ngayon, just keep on praying and god will guide you. Masakit talaga, madaming luha ang sasayangin pero ganun talaga part yan pag ngmamahal. Di matatapos ang buhay kapag iniwan tayo ng mahal natin. Smile! Life is too short para maging malungkot masyado.

[hyeuna03]

sis michipoo i am happy for you 

sana nga sya na ang the right one for you. totoo ang sinabi mo na darating ang time na mananawa ka na na masaktan at umiyak. at mapapagod na din na magbigay ng pagmamahala sa isang tao na hindi naman binibigyan importansya ang pagmamahal na ibinibigay mo.

sana lahat ng nasasaktan sis katulad mo, na biglang isang araw magigising na lang na wala na ang pagmamahal. sana ganun kadali. kaso alam nating hindi ganun kadali. gaya ng kwento mo, you've been through hell because of someone. ganun din ang narararanasan ng madaming babae ngayon. pero ang hirap kumawala sa isang relasyon na kung saan ibinuhos mo ang lahat. nakakalungkot lang diba? 

[jaymejorrol]

To all the girls na nahihirapan sa sitwasyon nyo ngayon, just keep on praying and god will guide you. Masakit talaga, madaming luha ang sasayangin pero ganun talaga part yan pag ngmamahal. Di matatapos ang buhay kapag iniwan tayo ng mahal natin. Smile! Life is too short para maging malungkot masyado.

haha.. nice one.. when i read your first post parang down na down ka, hopeless, depressed.. but now you're doinng great! maging thankful ka talaga kay God kasi inilayo ka nya sa guy na hindi para sayo, at binigyan ka ng nararapat sayo

look at you now, dati ikaw ang humuhingi ng advice sa iba.. but now, ikaw na ang nagbibigay ng inspiration sa iba to smile and enjoy life!

[angelzero]

@michipoo great to hear that. panahon lang naman talaga kakampi mo especially pag mag isa ka lang talaga. just joined this thread to share my experience very similar to yours. i also had to deal with a break up alone. not that i didn't want to talk to anybody, but because no one was around. my sister is my bestfriend and during that time she was pregnant and very excited to get married. i thought to myself i can't bring her down because of what i was going through. my friends naman, for some reason i don't remember, they're busy with their own lives and couldn't be bothered for coffee or something. basta hanap ako nang hanap ng pwedeng makausap, ang hirap humanap. naalala ko pa nga talking to my younger bro na alam ko naman can't relate sya. but he was the only one there kaya napag bugtunan ko rin sya ng sama ng loob. LOL! so in other words, i mostly relied on time to heal my pain. i didn't have much distraction but i didn't look back either. i just dragged my sorry a$$ to move forward. 

then after a couple of months crying, talking, mourning, narealize ko rin na buti na lang nag break kami. dun ko rin narealize na he wasn't giving his best. na yung personalities namin will never jive. then after ng man-hating phase ko, i prayed na makahanap ako ng someone with qualities that i want in a bf. i am now blessed with a very open, loving and understanding bf. more importantly, he's someone who knows how to communicate for the betterment of our relationship. looking back, i had an ex na parang dead fish ang pagka-NR. i realized everything happened for a reason. hadn't the ex broken up with me, i might have hold on to him despite the way he treats me because i didn't know any better.

[jaymejorrol]

@angelzero: wow halos same din pala kayo ng case ni michipoo.. at the beginning puro sadness.. in the end, you still smile.. now isa ka na rin sa mga girls na nagsisilbing insiration to others na don't lose hope..  and tama ka.. 'everything happened for a reason' ..

nasabi ko narin sa other threads to na.. a heartbreak is a blessing from God.. it's just His way of letting you realize, He saved you from the wrong one..

[angelzero]

^yup! true that! getting through these hardships just makes you stronger.

[jaymejorrol]

^ and habang maaga nangyayari agad ang mga trials like that para mas makilala mo talaga ang partner mo.. para sure ka din in the furture kung sya na nga ang right guy for you who will be with you the rest of your ilfe..