How to deal with this pain alone?

[miming]

tama si sis rhia9lam one way of forgetting him is to cut your communications with him. Ako nga mismong kapatid at nanay nya ang tumatawag sa akin dati para kamustahin ako at maya maya eh nababanggit na yung kuya nila sa akin. So what I did is dinelete ko sila sa fb ko, i even blocked them and sa phone hindi ko sinasagot yung tawag nila. Plinano ko pa nga mag palit ng number pero ang mahal, gagastos ako ng P 500. Alam ko medyo bastos dating kasi concern sila sa akin and yet hindi ko sila pinapansin. Pero sabi ko na lang kay Lord na alam nya kung bakit ko kailangan gawin yun. Hindi ko naman sila forever hindi na papansin. I just need time to heal.

[deliciously_ridiculous]

i've been thru worst... but i just woke up one day and the pain's gone. Prayers helped me move on. God shielded me from all this pain. When i look at our photos together, his photos, i don't feel anything anymore. "Time will heal all wounds." So true.

[charmed30]

thanks sisses. nakakatrauma lang yung nangyari. he was not my 1st boyfriend but i could say na siya talaga yung pinakamatagal and pinakaminahal ko. we've been through a lot of trials when we were together and nalampasan namin lahat yun. i never imagined that he would leave me. nagpla-plan na kami for the future eh. sinasabi na niya sa kin na ako ang gusto niyang pakasalan; na hinding-hindi nia ko iiwan. nangako siya sa kin eh.
and then nagpunta ko dito sa sg to work last jan 2011 lang. pinagusapan naman namin yun.we agreed na walang magbabago. tuloy tuloy pa din ang communication.i even went home last march during the weekend para makita siya dahil miss na miss ko na siya. but come May, he broke up with me. walang signs, walang sabi-sabi. tapos sa text pa siya nakipagbreak. he didn't even call me or suggested that we talk via skype/ym. ako pa yung nagoverseas call and he told me na ayaw na niya. no explanations basta na lang ayaw niya.
he left me hanging. ang daming questions sa isip ko. iniwan niya ko sa ere.

[gurlzat03]

^ hi sis, almost the same ang nangyari sa 'tin.. hirap talaga ng long distance relationship.. sa 'min naman, he was the one who went overseas then through facebook ko na lang nalaman na wala na kami without any reasons at all. then after a month, I heard na may nililigawan na sya then sila na..

well sis, that's life.. we have to keep moving, or else maiiwanan tayo ng mga pangyayari sa buhay natin.. trust me, masakit talaga sa umpisa lalo na kung you've been through a lot. iiyak mo lang ng iiyak yan sis, feel the pain.. but don't forget to set deadline kung hanggang kelan ka lang ganyan. after that, go ka na sa next level which is to start the process of healing. with what I felt, process of healing really takes time. andyan 'yung time na magagalit ka sa kanya, magtatanong ka sa sarili mo kung anong nangyari. pero always remember that "time really heals all wounds".. pray a lot while you are undergoing this stage, kasi wala kang ibang magiging kakampi kundi si God lang..

sis, I'm not asking you to go on as early as possible, pero wala namang masama if you could set a deadline to end your misery.. everything happens for a reason.. sooner or later, mare-realize natin na we deserve someone better..

[piatos]

sobrang sakit.  Dati pag may lq kami ako madalas ang unang nagaapproach sa kanya kasi sabi ko hindi ko kaya magkaaway kami mahal ko sya na mali kasi  lalong lalaki ulo nya.  Umaabot kami ng 4 1/2 years ang usapan namin 2014 magpapakasal na kami hindi daw nya magagawa kasi uunahin daw nya family nya.  Nainis talaga ako yun ang pinagaawayan namin tapos nakipagbreak sya sakin.  Ang sakit alam nyo yun kahit nasasaktan ako hindi ako nakikipagbreak sa kanya kasi mahal ko sya tapos ganto lang pala mangyayari sami.  Nasa denial stage ako na maayos pa kami tapos wala na rin pala pumayag na rin ako kasi sobrang sakit na eh ayoko na maging t****.

[ms.vanity]

Hi mga sis, naiiyak naman ako... kasi 2nd day palang ng break up namin ng bf ko.. super sakit kasi nakita ko na nag uusap sila sa fb nya ng ex nya na nasa ibang bansa.. sabi magkikita daw sila and all.. to think kabago bago palang namin nag break at alam nyang makikita ko yun. parang wala na syang pakielam sa feelings ko.. on off kami.. so umaasa ako na babalik pa sya.. pero this time i think masaya na sya.. i keep on blaming myself about the break up.. napaka selosa and possessive ko kasi. nasakal at napagod na sya so he left me. i'm so hurt. i don't know what to do. he was my bestfriend din... :-( sabi niya di niya kaya mawala ako at wag ako iiwan.. but turns out ako pa iniwan nya...

[jenybasti]

what my advice?

i have been hurt, first bf and he left me with a kid. he got other woman pregnant and he chose her. kasal din ako sa kanya. siguro mas mahirap situation ko.

years have passed (almost a decade) before i can tell myself now na wala na kong nararamdaman sa kanya. now ko lang naprove sa sarili ko na WAPAKELS na talaga ako sa kanya.

wag mo nang hintayin umabot ng ganito katagal. alam mo ba kung bakit ang tagal?
kasi EVERYTIME HE COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AT HANAPIN AKO (simple text & fb mesg) EH I GO LOKA AND GAVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE.

but then paulit ulit akong iniiwan at bigla na lang din sya nawawala...

THEN NAPAGOD NA KO. I GAIN PRIDE & RESPECT TO MYSELF....

SOLUTION: ACCEPT THAT HE IS NOT REALLY FOR YOU. He must be meant for someone else. BELIEVE THAT SOMEONE ELSE IS JUST WAITING FOR YOU...
KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY DESERVE. DONT SETTLE FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESNT TREAT YOU WELL...

CUT ALL YOUR MEANS COMMUNICATION WITH HIM. You can delete him on friends list sa fb. Stay away muna sa mga situations na pwede mo syang makita, even makarinig ng balita sa kanya. If you go to the same church, then attend at different schedule. Or other location. Exert effort to these. Ako, sinasabi ko sa common friends ko na wag muna akong kwentuhan about him. In case they see him.

PRAY, GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK & PRETIFY WHILE WAITING FOR THE GUY WHO IS MEANT FOR YOU...

Give yourself a chance to fall in love again. And if it does not work again, this time YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER...

LOVE YOURSLEF & LOVE AGAIN UNTIL YOU FIND YOUR ONE TRUE LOVE.


 

hayy sis we almost have the same situation ha.ganyan ganyan din ang ginagawa sa kin ng partner ko.kami naman di kasal pero 2 na anak namin.nasa abroad sya and met someone na sabi nya sakin eh na inlove daw sya
as in paulit ulit nya din akong niloloko.sasabihin nya na wala na sila kami na ulit ang love nya and priority nya tapos hindi naman pala.tha 1st time na nalaman ko na may iba na sya ang gusto nya eh maghiwalay na kami agad.na actually eh ginawa na namin tapos sya tong nakipagbalikan kinabukasan only for me to find out na ginawa nya yun kasi nakokonsensya yung babae nya.then sabi ko sa kanya na never na ko ulit makikipaghiwalay sa kanya lalo na thru skype lang ano ko after 12 yrs ng relationship namin eh ganun na lang ba yun.kaya until now mejo matagal na syang di nagpaparamdam samin ng mga anak nya although nagpapadala naman sya i don't consider pa din  na hiwalay na kami..ako pa din ang common law wife nya..which is hindi ko alam kung tama ba?

[cosmochick]

Been there done that. Been to hell and back. My ex belittled me before because I was only a call center agent. His parents did not approve of me because separated ako from my first husband and di ako mayaman like them.He comes from affluent family. Pure chinese sila. Tinanggap ko lahat ng pag insulto nila sa akin because I loved my ex.  Ilang
Months din para akong t**** sa kakaiyak but I never did anything na makakasira sa akin. I wanted To show them that I will be better ,that i can be better. I wanted to prove them wrong.yun ang driving force ko to move on. And truth be told, i am now in a much better and happier place. More succesful than i ever thought i will be and married to a more deseving man na kahit minsan hindi ako minaliit. Iniisip ko siguro if i ended up with him, kasi he asked me na to marry him, i will not be this happy and dko mrarating ang narating ko ngayon. Its true, God has better plans for us. Trust Him and surrender your life in His hands.

Good luck on your journey to recovery mga sis! In time, you will understand why this had to happen.

[ayka]

that's a challenge, girl. specially if you're dealing with it mostly alone.
 
first things first, if there's no way pa na magbalikan kayo, move on ka na. it's hard but you can make it if you want to eventually get a life and start living a new one without him. and pumasok ka sa relationship nang buo ka, so paglabas mo dapat buo ka pa rin. stay strong. life is too beautiful for you to sulk and be depressed for a long time about your breakup. there's hope. ika nga, when one door closes, another one opens. God may have other plans for you. and they're usually even better!

i hope you heal, sis. 

[redcheeks]

can I also share my story in this thread? i just need advice or just the idea of releasing the pain inside. I don't know. He's my bf for 11 years. In those years, we fought over petty things [textspeak!] naman but then I just realized na those I considered petty is still the issue between us. He never been completely honest with me with his whereabouts and who's with him. He told me I got jealous easily that's why he never informed me about his after office gimiks. He's a very friendly guy and have a lot of "girlfriends". He never let me handle his phone for his reason na baka I might read something na mamisinterpret ko. But then, one time I got the chance to view his msgs. I read msgs from his girl officemates that he considered as close friends but then girl insticnt, I knew there is something between him and one of his "girl friend." That girl messages were sweet and always show concerned to my bf. I even saw his call history and found out that they talked mostly late at night. I tried searching the girl on his fb friends but there were not friends there. Then I tried searching their common friends and found a pix that like their bf-gf. I got pissed,as in!!! I also found other pix of his after office gimiks. I texted him right away and I told him I'm too tired of his game. I told him to leave me alone and that he and his girl can enjoy their life together in hell! But there was no confirmation. He told me that what I saw was nothing. But I refused to believe him. Why didn't he tell me about this in the first place and why did he do such a pose like he and that girl have a relationship? I was deeply hurt but I don't know what to do. Should I forgive him or forget him and move on??? I'm so confused. I never find myself crying maybe because I got tired already of what he's doing to me but whenever I think of what I saw I feel the pain so much. I loved him and see him as my better half but how did he do such a thing? Im already in my early 30's that is why I'm scared to let him go because I don't know what my life would be without him. And its hard to just leave behind the 11 years we've shared.

Hope for your advice. If this is the wrong thread to post this, apologies.

[piatos]

nakikipagbalikan sakin ang ex ko asa haha!.  kung talagang mahal nya ako gagawa sya ng paraan kaso feeling nya walang nangyari lol

[hot_pink]

I'm so sad right now.... walang lasa ang pagkain... walang gana pumasok... naiiyak maski saan... natutulala lagi.... ang bigat ng dibdib ko... everyday is a struggle to survive because of the loneliness brought by a broken heart. Ayoko lalo pag gumagabi, that's when I'm lonelier.... paggising ko sa umaga, the cycle repeats... hay....

[piatos]

^alam mo sis ganyan din ako gusto ko lang lagi ako natutulog para hindi ko nararamdaman yung pain. ang masakit lang matapos nyang makipagbreak sakin makikipagbalikan sya ayoko ng masaktan ulit.

[Ishasophia]

I'm so sad right now.... walang lasa ang pagkain... walang gana pumasok... naiiyak maski saan... natutulala lagi.... ang bigat ng dibdib ko... everyday is a struggle to survive because of the loneliness brought by a broken heart. Ayoko lalo pag gumagabi, that's when I'm lonelier.... paggising ko sa umaga, the cycle repeats... hay....

Same here sis.. just be strong.. you need to be strong for yourself. Find a way to divert your attention..may it be a new hobby, new game in your phone, new friends.. just something to vent out all the pain.. it will help somehow..

[Quin Bee]

I am going through this pain right now. hindi pa kami nag bi-break officially pero he's not showing his love to me anymore. ako pa nagmakaawa na sana manlang mag i love you siya sa akin sa text or email.

hay ang hirap basta... 


how to be strong ba?

[lifehouse000]

I'm so sad right now.... walang lasa ang pagkain... walang gana pumasok... naiiyak maski saan... natutulala lagi.... ang bigat ng dibdib ko... everyday is a struggle to survive because of the loneliness brought by a broken heart. Ayoko lalo pag gumagabi, that's when I'm lonelier.... paggising ko sa umaga, the cycle repeats... hay....

Count me in!
Moving on is something I do every second of the day. I can relate. Minsan prang frozen pakiramdam ko.  The hardest time of the day is waking up and realizing the person I loved most left me.

[JHOYROMY76]

Hello sa inyong lahat, bago pa lang ako dito. Nakarelate ako sa mga nakapost dito..Sa Dec. 20, 17 years na kaming magkasama ng husband ko sana. Pero sa kasamaang palad, after hanging on sa relationship namin for almost 17 years, mukang bibigay na ko at di ko n kyang mag-hold on..Pangarap ko na makasama sana ang asawa ko hanggang sa pagtanda ko..pero mukang di na mangyayari un..gusto n nya talagang  humiwalay sa kin..pagod na raw sya sa pagiging house husband..gusto nya dumiskarte ng sarili nya ng wala raw nakikialam sa kanya.Sa ngaun, pinag-iisipan ko ng pagbigyan ang hiling nya na maghiwalay kami..napapagod na rin kasi ako ng kakasuyo sa kanya sa tuwing aawayin nya ko. 

[avd]

I'm so sad right now.... walang lasa ang pagkain... walang gana pumasok... naiiyak maski saan... natutulala lagi.... ang bigat ng dibdib ko... everyday is a struggle to survive because of the loneliness brought by a broken heart. Ayoko lalo pag gumagabi, that's when I'm lonelier.... paggising ko sa umaga, the cycle repeats... hay....

experienced that also...
i just wish that you finally wake up having no heartaches at all..time will tell when ...maging excited ka nalang kung kanino ka maiinlove ulit...sympre when that time comes, you must be wiser na..ako 8 months bago nakamove on nung maghiwalay kame ni gf...feels super lonely when pa 3pm na...wanting to be alone lang lage etc...so hard...hayyy...why cant love be perfect and forever at first time...

[pinkswirls12]

I am alone and 3 1/2 months pregnant. My ex and I talked over the phone and he told me "unti unti ng nawawala pagmamahal ko sayo". It hurts so much because I carry our baby inside my tummy. If he said that without me having a baby, I really would not care at all. I just thank God for my family and friends who are very supportive of me but there are times when I get sad most especially when I visit my OB because I am alone and women around me have their spouses beside them. Or when I am alone thinking that it is so unfair for my baby to be raised in a broken family set - up. Since the day he knew about my pregnancy, he changed. I was the one who first gave up because he seems not interested with me and the baby anymore. He accepted my rejection of him right away and did not bother to make any efforts to make our relationship work. I am trying my very best to stay strong for my baby and I know God will never leave us alone..

[jamberryknots]

to TS i feel like i'm in the same boat, for 8 months super rocky namin, LDR din kami for the past 1 year and 6 months nagsimula ang kalbaryo earlier this year
super tinry ko lahat, nagpakabait ako, patient lahat ng kelangan pero nauubos din pala tapos kahit feeling mo drain ka na, gusto mo pa din ituloy
iniisip ko nga masochista ba ko?
i never imagined i would be in this position, super hirap, super lungkot..