How to deal with this pain alone?

[gurlzat03]

^ wow sis, very good questions to ponder on... i've asked myself those questions when the breakup is still fresh.. its a good thing na both us don't have the initiative to have a communication with each other. no, he's happy with his new partner while I'm enjoying my life being single!

cheer up sisses. just what my cousin told me before, life is yours! surround yourself with true friends and keep in touch with your family most of the time. Above anything else, don' forget to talk to God... always remember that time heals all wounds... 

[charmed30]

it's so hard mga sis.  words cannot explain how painful and devastating this is. ang bigat bigat sa dibdib sobra. tapos i am working overseas pa. malayo ako sa family ko. this is one of the hardest things that i have to deal with in my life so far. i am always praying to God to give me strength to overcome all of this. i am always tulala. and i cant cry. ayaw lumabas. pero sobrang sama ng loob ko.

[tokyogirl]

we just broke up yesterday. nagbreak na kami maraming beses pero i think this one's for real.
pain sucks. konte lang tulog ko.

[angelita]

hold on sis, this forum has helped me a lot...this too shall pass...

[gurlzat03]

^ keep on praying mga sis. everything will turn out okay.
sis charmed30, masakit talaga sa kalooban yan especially when the breakup is still fresh. believe me, it will last up to 6 months or baka until a year pa kung hindi mo tutulungan ang sarili mo. be brave and strong enough to face all those trials.. kaya mo yan, alam kong mahirap pero you have no choice but to move on and trust God. goodluck!

[snix]

ako hindi ako galing sa breakup.. but there's this guy that i loved and still love up to now.. 3 years and counting.. yung una kala ko magiging kami pero turns out umasa lang ako sa wala bigla may iba siya..it was hell back then

ngayon naman nanliligaw na siya the chance that i've been waiting for pero parang hindi naman seryoso.. hindi na nya ko tinetext or tinatawagan tulad ng dati tas sinabi pa sakin na may type daw sya na maganda sa work niya..

naiinsecure nako nasasaktan pako.. akala ko seryoso na now im back with this feeling again.. 2 araw nako umiiyak at hindi natutulog hindi rin makakain.. parang umaasa nanaman ako sa wala it hurts so much pati tawag at text hindi sinasagot nagmumuka lang ako naghahabol..sana nakamoveon nako but he just hadto come back and do yhis to me again

[jenric2010]

hello GT sissies...i've been lurking this forum for quite sometimes...now its time for me to open up and ask your opinion and advices  about my current situation.i am so broke right now..i decided to end our relationship yesterday...bf ko sya for 2  years, masaya yung relationship namin kahit na may mga away din kami, very protective and understanding c bf...close ako sa family nya ... Last week (may 29), may tumawag sa akin na girl from ilocos norte ...she claimed na asawa nya daw yung bf ko and they have 4 kids already...i confronted her na kung nanggugulo lang siya tumigil na sya...alam ni girl about me... she knew my name, where i work...she told me na tigilan ko na lang daw c bf kasi pera at kotse ko lang daw ang habol nya sa akin. she gave me her name and the date of their marriage... i talked my bf, nung una nag de deny pa...sabi nya d daw sila kasal at nanlalake daw si babae kaya nya iniwan and he told me na yung isang bata e di sa kaniya...ang dami nyang revelations na noon ko lang narinig...pakiramdam ko noong time na yun parang blanko i just stare at him na wala lang...parang di ko na anticipate na for 2 years eh niloloko nya lang pala ako ...tapos last wednesday...nagharap kaming 3 sa may starbucks sa timog...grabeng bigat ng pakiramdam ko, d ako makapag malaki kasi lumabas na ako yung third party sa relationship namin...tigas ng mukha ni bf, kampante pa siya...i told him na eto pa ba yung kapalit ng kabutihan at pagmamahal na ipinakita ko sa kaniya...sabi nya ako daw yung mahal niya at kaya siya nagsinungaling kasi ayaw nya kong msaktan at mawala sa kaniya...very inconsistent eh obvious naman na kinukwento nya ko sa girl...here's the highlight of the scene : 

                 ME: OK, para matapos na tong agony natin pare pareho...binabalik ko na siya sayo. Pasensya ka na, di ako gumawa ng thorough studies about his background. All i know is binata siya kasi wala namang nag kwento na meet ko na buong family nya. Bf sana naman umamin ka na lang di mo na pinatagal ng 2 years bago mo wasakin pagkatao ko. I dont know kung kelan kta mapapatawad sa nagawa mo sa akin. Wala kang idea kung paano mo ko sinasaktan ngayon. (holding back my emotion pero nanginginig na boses ko.)
           
               GIRL: referring to her stranged hubby...Sabi mo sa akin, hinahabol ka niya, mahal ka nya, kaya tinatalikuran mo na kami ng mga anak mo.Now im telling you, papayag akong magsama kayo pero bigyan mo ko ng 2M para sa pagbabagong buhay namin mag iina...O kaya mamili ka sa amin dalawa....madali akong kausap wag nyo kong gawing tangang dalawa...taga probinsiya man ako pero di pwedeng ganito na lang ako...kailangan kong ipaglaban ang karapatan naming mag iina...

              BF: Sorry sa inyong dalawa...Pero sa pagkakataong ito si ____(ako yun) ang pipiliin ko, dahil wala siyang inisip puro kabutihan ko...naduwag lang akong ipaalam sayo yung totoong kong kalagayan dahil alam kong iiwan mo ko...nagpapaalam ako ng maayos sa kanya (girl) di ko naman papabayaan mga anak namin...eventually papaalam ko rin sayo...Ikaw na ang mahal ko (ME)...nakilala kita ng May 2009 nagpakasal kami February 2009, kaya ko pinakasalan yan kasi lumalaki na mga bata naghahanap na daw ng records sa school ng MC nila...ka live in ko sya ng 13 years, kaya ko napunta dito kasi niloko nya lang din ako...kaya ikaw (GIRL) magbago ka na, pakawalan mo na ko....

Sobrang sakit nito...si Girl todo iyak (dumugo pa ilong) ako rin nag iiyak kasi alam kong wala akong ibang choice kundi ang tapusin na yung relasyon namin...from the moment na nag usap kami hanggang kahapon sinusuyo pa rin ako ni bf, gusto ko pa rin siyang paniwalaan pero sobrang nakaka drain ng utak parang gusto ko siyang balatan ng buhay...kaya kahapon, nakipagkita ako sa kaniya, si girl nasa isang apartelle nag s stay.... Tinapos ko na kahapon lahat lahat ng namagitan sa amin...mismong sa harap nya winasak ko yung simcard ko...binaba ko siya sa tapat ng apartelle kung saan nag s stay si Girl...Habang pumapasok siya sa gate, parang mamatay na ko...hanggang ngayon iyak pa rin ako ng iyak...di ko alam kung paano ko mag mo move on...sobrang sakit ng ginawa nya sa akin pati sa girl....Ngayon lutang ako, hati ang utak, di makag isip ng maayos...wala akong ginawa kundi umiyak...sakit na ng dibdib ko...ang hirap pala...first time kong nasaktan ng todo...


                                                                                               

[gurlzat03]

hugz sis.. ang sakit talaga sa dibdib ng nangyari sa 'yo.. iiyak mo lang ng iiyak 'yan sis, that's the only thing that you can do right now. Tama lang ang ginawa mo na lumayo sa kanila, kahit na mahirap. Isipin mo na lang ang mga anak nila na mas mahihirapan sa situation if you let your feelings decide for the both of you. madami pang iba jan, trust me.. sabi nga ni bob ong, "pakawalan mo ang mga bagay na nakakasakit sa 'yo kahit na pinapasaya ka ng mga ito. 'wag mong hayaan na dumating ang panahon na puro sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo".
"time heals all wounds".. eventually, mababawasan din ang sakit na nararamdaman mo ngayon. hindi ko sinabing mawawala kasi in my opinion, pain would always be there.. pero when you're ready, try to forgive him sa mga nagawa nya sa 'yo.. Sabi nga sa nabasa ko dito, God invented the most powerful ointment in the world which is called "forgiveness". alagaan mo ang sarili mo, para when the time comes that you're ready to love again, you won't lose yourself. good luck sis! God bless..

[iCleverClogs]

it's been a while... just dropping by. sana nakamove na ang mga ka-batch ko   


musta na kayo??? 

[jenric2010]

@ gurlatz03


Thank you very much sis...until now, ang sakit sakit pa rin...wala na kong balita kung sumama na siya pabalik sa asawa niya sa ilocos...i talked to his family here in manila...they told me they didn't know na nagpakasal pala sila...lahat sila ayaw sa girl kasi very demanding daw at niloko kapatid nila...fist time kong bumalik sa bahay ng daddy niya na ako na lang mag isa para magpaalam na rin...iyakan blues na naman...they feel very sorry for me...grabe na ito...sakit sa dibdib...thank you sa advice mo sis...i know makakaya ko pero mahirap ang pag dadaanan ko...kasi siya lang ang alam kong ka relasyon...now, nawala siya sa akin na parang bula...

[gurlzat03]

masakit talaga sis lalo na if you know that you love the person very much.. isipin mo na lang palagi na God has a better plan for the both of you..

Sis icleverclogs, how are you? I can't say that I completely moved on but I'm always trying. In a few months, 1 year na kaming wala.. ang bilis ng panahon, sana ganun din kabilis mawala ang memories. but i know memories will always be there...

[muymuy]

It's been 4 months and I'm still not over him.. 

parang walang nagbago.. mahal na mahal ko pa din, para akong lantang gulay everyday.
nakakalungkot kasi pagod na din ako maging sad.. 

[charmed30]

hay. it is so hard to cope up with the breakup.
buti na lang busy ako. buti na lang pinapakinggan ako ni Lord sa hiling ko to give me the strength to overcome all of this. thank God.

im still in-denial. na parang panaginip lang ang lahat ng nangyari. minsan iniisip ko na magigising na lang ako na kami na ulit. hindi pa talaga nagsisink-in ng todo na wala na kami.

i miss him so much. i have never imagined na maghihiwalay kami. we've been together for more than 6 years. i was devastated when he gave up on me. when i learned na wala siyang plans for me. when i realized na he cant stand up for me.

hay. i want this to be soooo over.. if i only i can skip the mourning and in-denial stage of this breakup and go straight to the moving on stage, i really would.

[gurlzat03]

hugz sis.. ganyan talaga.. sabi nga, walang madaling paraan to cope up with the breakup. siguro it will be easier for you kung hindi mo sya minahal; 'yung tipong parang wala lang sa 'yo ang lahat.. pero if u know na sobrang minahal mo 'yung tao, talagang kaylangan nating tanggapin bago mag-heal ang wound... basta spend some time mourning, basta 'wag mo lang papabayaan ang sarili mo. remember to find beauty in everything that you do. isipin mo din na madaming taong nahihirapan kung nakikita kang ganyan so dapat you have to little by little move on para na rin sa sarili mo at sa darating pa na guy for you. goodluck! sooner or later, mauubos din ang luha mo kakaiyak at kakaisip ng mga nangyari. bottom line, you have to help yourself kasi walang ibang tutulong sa 'yo kundi sarili mo lang.

[koalaa]

sisters, i need your advice, explanations and reactions in this scenario.

totoo ba to, "You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you"
pero what if He cries in front of you because he's living you(sya ang nakipag break). The scenario goes, the relationship was okay but nagkasawaan ata kami, its been almost two months since we broke up. lagi sya nag ttext na na-mimiss nya daw ako, is that true, he miss me? but it was him who let me go, sinasabi pa nya, wag ako mag papaligaw. nag a-assume tuloy ako

[gurlzat03]

^sis, hirap mag-react sa scenario mo. hmm.. siguro it depends on how you know the guy very well... pwede kasi na he cries in front of you kasi he knows in his heart and in his mind, he still loves you but he has to let you go kasi he thinks na the relationship is not working for the both of you.. or it can be the other way around, pwedeng niloloko ka lang nya.. I've been in your situation before, difference lang is that he's not in front of me kasi LDR kami. Pero he keeps on telling me na he still hope na kami pa din sa huli, pero about a month pa lang, may nililigawan na and sila na after a month.
Mag-pray ka na lang sis, that everything will be okay in time. Only God knows what's good for us, just trust in him and I know everything will turn out well. good luck!

[koalaa]

Thank you so much sis gurlzat03    

[gurlzat03]

go sis! kaya mo yan... there's a better person coming into your life..

[paloma]

Hi Sisses! I'm done backreading and naiyak ako sa mga posts cause i share the same feeling. Sa ganitong panahon where the pain hurts like hell, I just need someone to talk to. Actually I have already posted my story in another thread but I'll share it here too.

"Hi mga sis! I've posted in this thread before kasi i'm in the same situation. He was my ex wayback 2006-2007 and he broke up with me kasi may gf sia that time and ako ang other girl nia. Pero sa relasyon na yun wala siang pagmamahal for me, ako lang ang nagmahal. Ni minsan hindi nia sinabi or pinaramdam na mahal nia ako. Pero from 2007- early 2010 he still keeps on bugging me. Pero hindi sia seryoso parang pag kailangan nia lang ako magpaparamdam sia. Since ako mahal ko pa sia pumapayag ako sa gusto nia so in short parang naging fubu kami. Pero later on ginagawa ko na lang din because of lust and not for love. Btw, he and his long time gf broke up around 2009 kasi si gf pinagpalit ata sia sa iba na may future.

Then mid to latter part ng 2010, he still bugs me pero sabi ko ayaw ko na talaga kasi naka move on na ako sa buhay ko at masayang masaya na ako. Indeed I have totally moved on after 2.5-3 yrs. Masasabi kong naka move on na ako dahil wala na akong pakialam sa kanya. At wala na akong bitterness at galit. Then came early 2011 kinukulit na naman nia ako and sabi nia mahal nia daw talaga ako at nagsisisi sia sa lahat ng ginawa nia sakin noon. At gagawin nia daw lahat para bumalik un nararamdamn ko para sa kanya.

During those times from january to may 2011, sinusuyo nia ako at naramdaman ko naman na nag eeffort talaga sia. Kasi napaka mean ko sa kanya dahil nga ayoko na sa kanya pero pinagtyatyagaan nia talaga ako. Nakikita ko na nahihirapan sia dahil nasasaktan sia dahil di ko makaya na mahalin sa. Hanggang sa dumating un isang araw na napapayag nia ko magdate ulit and sabi ko sa sarili ko kapag may naramdaman ako, magiging kami ulit. And ayun naging kami nga, pero i didn't see it coming na this would be the biggest mistake that I will ever commit.

After few weeks of being together, he just started getting rid of me. Bigla na lang hindi nagtext, nagpop, nag call. I even texted, called, messaged in fb, emailed, popped in ym - pero no response. I know he was able to read my messages kasi nahuli ko sia online I popped him pero deadma sia.

Those weeks were like hell. I was thinking what went wrong. We used to be so happy and halos para siang asong ulol na humahabol sa akin before. tapos parang in a snap ako na ang tinataboy at iniiwasan nia. Ang sakit lang kasi second chance na namin and akala ko magiging ok na this time. Tsaka hindi ako maka move forward kasi hanging ako, hindi ko alam kung may bago na ba, meron ako kasabay or may nauna or ginamit nia lang ako, or pinaglaruan, or lokohan lang ba. Ang sakit sakit pero aaminin ko deep inside I'm still wishing that he'll come back. Hoping na there's something wrong lang and walang iba.

But I was wrong, it was confirmed that he has another girl. The three of us lives in the same village. And they were always seen going out together. It means he must be really in love with the girl kasi they are out in the public and he doesn't give a damn na makita ko or may magsabi sakin na meron na siang bago. My friend even checked ther facebook accounts and voila my ex bf deactivated his account and created a new one! Parang pinaparamdam nia sakin na iritang irita sia sakin at feeling nia hahabol pa ako. Ang sakit kasi ang bilis naman mag iba ng gusto nia, tapos ni hindi nia ako kinausap ng maayos nun iniwan nia ako. Tsaka nakamove on na ako sa heartaches and pain na binigay nia years ago and ito start na naman ako sa process ng pag move on.

Btw, after a few weeks he messaged me sa fb and he said sorry and he said he didn't mean to hurt me. Yung sorry nia instead na mas mapagaan yun nararamdaman ko, mas lalo ako nasaktan. Kasi for me yung sorry nia ang ibig sabihin ayaw na talaga nia sakin at mas pinipili nia yun bago niang gf.

Ang sakit sakit mga sis. Hindi ko alam pano ko maaalis un pain, bitterness, anger sa puso ko. Alam ko ako lang din naman ang nasasaktan at nahihirapan kasi silang 2 ang saya saya nila. Tapos ako ito puro galit at pain ang nafifeel. I just realized that when he cheats with you, he will cheat on you. I don't wish them bad karma, I just hope that God will heal my wounds and may He take away the pain, bitterness and anger in my heart. I'm not asking for too much, all I wanted is real happiness. cause it just hurts so bad. So bad.

Sorry mga sis sobrang haba ng post ko. I'm in deep pain. Thanks."

[muymuy]

^sayang naman sis, naka move on ka na pero heto ka ulit.... nasasaktan na naman

sabi nga nila, life is full of mystery. pwedeng better ang second chance, pwede ding hell
wala naman talaga makakapag sabi kundi si God lang. Hold on, Pray.

sa situation ko ngayon, Prayers lang ang weapon ko against emptiness. saka shempre, GT.. mga Gtalkers! hehe

magiging okay ka din, maniwala ka. Yun nga lang, it takes time ( ulit ) And sana, matuto ka na.
pag naging okay ka na at asong ULoL ulit siya, siguro naman itataboy mo na talaga siya ano? baka kasi bumigay ka ulit. 

Pray, Pray, Pray..
mahirap talaga yung ganito pero ano ba dapat natin gawin? acceptance...
Pero ako, wala pa yata sa stage ng acceptance eh! Haha

post ka lang sis para mabawasan bigat ng loob mo..