I’d say my first love was my high school best friend.
I had a crush on him since 1st year HS and since we’re “bestfriends” we always had constant communication and we were close with each other (di n’ya alam may malisya pala yun sa akin, haha)
He’s not handsome but very smart. I prefer the intelligent type of guys kasi, ayoko nung kailangang itali sa lamp post dahil lilipad since hangin ang laman ng utak.
We were classmates nung 4th year HS, kilig lang dahil siya ang partner ko sa JS Prom although walang sweet dance (ayaw ng teachers, akala yata nila mabubuntis ang mga girls just by dancing sweetly).
On and off ang communication naming nung college. Most of the time ako nag-iinitiate ng contact pero may times na siya ang kumokontak sa akin. Kaya lang I always have this feeling na second fiddle ako. Yung tipong pag wala siyang GF ako ang kokontakin niya. Ako naman si baliw, sasama agad. Wala eh, I enjoy spending time with him so kung ano ang maibigay niya masaya na ako. At saka he was very sweet to me most of the times to the point na akala ng batch mates naming naging kami before.
We also have lots of fights, para kasi akong t**** noon, demanding lang kahit na alam kong wala akong karapatan magdemand. Pero ang ending, ako pa rin ang nakikipag-ayos. T**** talaga.
I wanted to get away na din from him after some time, summer classes namin noon, 2007, I made him agree to meet me. Dinner lang. Pero di niya alam, I was planning to tell him everything that time. I wanted closure and I will get it.
Hindi ako makapag-concentrate sa pagkain kasi I don’t know how to tell him. While we were in the middle of the meal, he asked me, “Oh, bakit bigla mong gusto makipagkita?”
Wala na, haha. Mas lalong hindi na ako nakakain. I didn’t know how to start but when I did, I can’t stop. I spilt everything. How I think that everyone has their one true love and for me it’s him, na kahit gaano niya ako saktan as long as he is with me then everything is okay.. Kaya lang I got tired na rin, it’s been more or less 7 years of waiting, expecting for nothing. Iyak tawa na lang ako while telling him everything that I had bottled up all these years: the love, the pain, the smiles, the tears.
I told him I have to let go of the past to be able to move forward. Sabi n’ya, “Bakit kailangan mo ako bitawan?”
“Siyempre paano ako uusad kung nakahawak ako sa nakaraan?”
I told him not to feel bad for me. I feel like the heavy weight I have been carrying in my chest has been lifted. Hinatid niya ako sa sakayan and I sent him an sms: “Thank you for everything. Goodbye” Drama queen yata ako sa past life ko eh.
I thought that was the end of us. Pero there are people pala talaga that are meant to stay in our life forever.
I can’t remember how or when we started talking to each other again but we did. And this time I know na friend na lang talaga ang turing ko sa kanya. And we resumed being best friends. Even now that I am confused about getting married, he is standing by my side as a support.
Hindi man naging kami ng first love ko, I am very happy that he is still my best friend
