Lack of Self-Motivation or Inspiration in Life

[**gurlash**]

My Profile:
1. I'm 33, still single, living alone, far from family in a different country.
2. Have a high paying job and traveled almost all the part of the world
3. I can buy any material things I wanted
4. Built my own dream house
5. Have a very patient and supportive BF for 2 years now
6. Have lots of free time to do anything

But i ended up feeling sad and alone, Unhappy and no motivation to do anything. I have lists of what to do everyday but nothing is accomplshed.
This I've done to overcome these but no effect:
1. Exercise, went to gym pero napagod, stopped and gained weight.
2. Complete make-over: Spent big in parlors, shopr for clothes and beauty products until di ko na nagamit and na-expire. I dont even have the mood to clean my face at night or put lotion.
3. Read books na hindi ko na rin natapos.
4. Nagpaka-busy sa work pero but I'm not functioning well
5. Did activities with BF but it always ended to fights nowadays coz I'm always sensitive and emotional to small things

I don't know what's happening to me. My Boyfriend and best friend said that I'm still dissatisfied and I still crave for more, for what? Some friends say I should get married to change my life, but I think 2 years of relationship is not yet enough to jump into that. Ayoko din naman ng additional headache and not yet ready for marriage reponsibilities. I have lots of things in my mind that I want to do pero hindi ko masimulan, I don't know where to start. Like water sports or diving, but I'm fat to wear swimsuit now. I felt like whatever I do, It won't make me happy.
Please share some insights my dear sisters, harsh words are acceptable maybe it'll wake me up,lol! Thanks!

[aquacharly]

Have you been checked for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or hormonal imbalance?

You sure are 1 smart cookie, shunning the well-meaning advise of friends --  that marriage will solve your "blahs".  haha.  Right, don't bet on that happening.

Sometimes,  we need to go beyond our personal concerns.   
There comes a time in achievers' lives when the Self (higher Self) seeks to express itself beyond the self (personal self/interest). 
That is when you feel the urge to leave your mark on this world; to pay back, so to speak;  to leave this  world a better place.

Try to get more involved in your advocacies.  You will find more meaning in life.
Specially when you help make life a little better for people who are not in a position to repay you --  therein you will find some satisfaction.

God bless. 

[**gurlash**]

Thanks sis Aquacharly.
I haven't done that check, but i'll try, is it bcoz of my age?
I have tried helping others for a period of time but something happened that I lost everything, suffered, got myself into trouble bcoz of abusive friends and people. Nadala ako, natakot and end up not trusting people here in my place. Dito kasi talo ka pag nagpaloko ka. I kept my distance to old and new friends, simple and casual, afraid of giving full trust even to my BF also bcoz of my failed past relationships. I just trusted my family though they're far from me. Is this also a reason why I isolate myself, feeling alone and sad?

[*nightdreamer*]

life is mysterious talaga.. here you are a gurlash with everything to be happy about and yet feels kinda "empty". I guess sometimes may mga empty moments talaga in stages of life.

But then, if u always feel like this, hindi kaya it's because you lack in emotional and social aspects? Yes u got success in material things but its the immaterial ones you may be missing. Based on your post, u don't trust people in your place and kept distance with old / new friends. Tapos the one u trust who happens to be your family is far naman. How about si boyfie? Do you love him or he's just a convenience bf?

Allow me to suggest the ff:
     - 1st & most important - Pray pray pray
     - Bakasyon ka kaya muna to be with ur family para marecharge ka
     - Go out for some bonding moments with your friends ( yup with your friends! )
     - Chitchat and discover whats new with your old friends ( facebook kaya? )
     - Charity works ( share your blessings ika nga..sometimes knowing & mingling with less fortunate persons puts u in a reality check )
     - Mag-alaga ka ng pet ( the excitement of your puppy welcoming you home : priceless )
     - Try getting out of your comfort zone ( exciting yan promise! )
     - Remember the water sports? Eh ano naman if fat ka, hindi ka naman kakagatin ng shark I have read somewhere na " if for one moment you stop thinking on how you should look good in others' eyes, you'd be worry-free and happier"
     - How about nature-tripping? Appreciate the wonder & beauty of God's creations

Hope it helps! 

[aquacharly]

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome happens to young and old alike, same with hormonal imbalance.
Now, if you are in a place where the winters are long... look into that condition called SAD.

GURLASH, do not beat yourself up due to misplaced trust.  I am sure all of us here, at some time or other, got trumped by family, friends, seemingly trustworthy people, and yes.. lovers.  But such is life, you get lemons with the apples. Don't we all start having goodwill for all men?  ... of thinking each person is basically or more good than bad, until experience indicates otherwise?  Isn't that the normal way, instead of setting off into this world thinking everyone is out to screw us? (screw as in do us in; and not give us a jolly time... LOL. I just want you to smile.)

So there, people may have let you down.  Let us assume, which isn't likely though, that all the important people in your life have cracked your trust in them.
          Ask yourself 1st,  whatever it was you trusted them to live up to -- was it a realistic expectation?  Or an impractical idealistic wish on your part?  There is a big difference between the 2 ha.

Now, even for the sake of argument,  you have been emotionally slapped around by people breaking your trust left and right...  it does not mean you have to stop trusting people.  It just means you have to be more careful with your trust... sure, forgive but do not forget.  Something like that, althought hay naku makukurot ako ng madres who saw me grow in San Lo.     

BUT do not let your fear of  untrustworthy people block your enjoyment of the world, of the fruits of your labor.  It is normal to be disappointed, but not worth it to live life with a negative outlook.

I subscribe to what NIGHTDREAMER recommends to get you out of your funk.  The pet is good.. nothing like a loyal dog to greet you.  Even a goldfish will do. 

Another thing to help you snap out of the blahs... is to actively seek out humor.  Watch funny dvds,  keep company with people who have a good sense of humor... go to comedy bars.   Do not underestimate the power of laughter.   

And yes, pray for Divine Guidance.

[**gurlash**]

Thanks Nightdreamer, I even copied and pasted your suggestions to my desktop so I won't forget it. Promise to do one of them one at a time or better all of them.

To sis Aquacharly, thanks again for the time and effort to say everything, it enlightens and lifts me up regarding TRUST. And I really like what you said about the difference of Realistic Expectation between Idealistic wish. Honestly, siguro nga I'm always expecting things from other people especially my friends and BF kaya ako din yung disappointed pag di nila nagawa and leads to not trusting others and isolating myself, kaya naging sad and alone ako. Question? It's hard on my part but how to change it or at least overcome this attitude of mine?

[chengkii]

Hi gurlash - you may want to try immersing yourself in the company of people who doesn't have the same status as you. I mean the less fortunate ones. You are not required naman to give material donation all the time. You can probably give them time - teach children some things. It establishes a sense of fulfillment on the one giving din kasi.

It looks like you've reached your goals na, which is why you feel that you've conquered it all. So, what's the next step, help others reach their full potential too. Promise, it will make you happy.

[byutijunkie]

whenever i'm about to throw a pity party for myself, i just look out the window and right then and there, nahihiya nako magreklamo. 

the thing is, it does come to a point in our lives that we need to stop living for ourselves lang and start living for others.  subukan mong tumulong sa isang taong hindi mo kakilala.  it doesn't have to be big, kahit mag-abot ka lang ng sandwich sa isang mahirap or as simple as saying "hi"to someone who looks down and sad...yung effect nun indescribable and will definitely give you a different perspective in life.  promise.  =)

live light, kalimutan mo na yung past and start investing in a quality life.  goodluck!

[ellix]

im experiencing this now. I have so many blessings in life, still i feel so incomplete. SIs, try to join kerygmafamily.com , a family org by sir. bob sanchez.

[sweetubeng]

I was once in your shoes before, not my dream job but its a job wherein i can get the things that i want in life, travel everywhere, buy things i want but too little time to enjoy the fruit of my labor, i came to a point that i also have no motivation, no inspiration, i felt bored, i felt useless, actually i feel the same as what you feel now.

I decided to quit and live a very simple life, i know its a big time adjustment but this is what i found peace of mind, i realized that the common myth about money is that having more will make me more secure, it wont! wealth can be lost instantly through a variety of uncontrollable factors, real security can only be found in that which can never be taken away from you, Your Relationship With GOD

Don"t settle for just achieving "the good life" because the good life is not good enough. ultimately it doesn't satisfy. You can have a lot to live on and still have nothing to live for, Aim instead for the "better life"- serving God in a way that expresses your heart. Figure out what you love to do- what God gave you a heart to do, and then do it for his glory.  follow what your heart desires. Goodluck

[prisma]

Aquacharly,

I really love reading your posts, may it be in the politics or Brands We Love thread.


Me naman, I don't lack motivation/inspiration in my life.  My life is simple but I don't find it boring.   

Sis gurlash,  why don't you try watching Korean dramas?  You can get lost in that world and time passes by quickly.

[eyemo]

You know what, recently, I've listed the little things that make me happy and then I thought, "Damn, I could be happy just by these?". The thing is, we tend to take the "little" things for granted not knowing that once they are gone, we would feel lost and empty. Don't search for a reason to be happy, because you already are. Just look closer, and you'll know.

Before, I also feel like life is a routine. Then I realized that I should explore the world in a different way each day. Perhaps, talk to someone that you don't frequently talk to, compliment a friend (or stranger lol), eat something/somewhere new. Mga ganun, small things.. Things that will not only make you happy, but other people as well.

Try mo gumawa rin ng list ng little things that make you happy. Whenever you'd feel sad again, distract yourself by looking back at your list and be grateful that you're happy.

Happiness is not about what you do (e.g. hobbies) and what comes to you (e.g. money, good results), it's about how you think and act WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK IN LIFE. Easier said than done right? Pero try mo parin.

Sorry kung nobela! Hahaha.

[**gurlash**]

whenever i'm about to throw a pity party for myself, i just look out the window and right then and there, nahihiya nako magreklamo. 

the thing is, it does come to a point in our lives that we need to stop living for ourselves lang and start living for others.  subukan mong tumulong sa isang taong hindi mo kakilala.  it doesn't have to be big, kahit mag-abot ka lang ng sandwich sa isang mahirap or as simple as saying "hi"to someone who looks down and sad...yung effect nun indescribable and will definitely give you a different perspective in life.  promise.  =)

live light, kalimutan mo na yung past and start investing in a quality life.  goodluck!

Sis Byutijunkie, so far i did some changes based on your advice. I rave my whole house for old and unused stuffs. i gave all of them to those poeple i encounter na mejo less fortunatate than me. A surprised reaction and their smile lifts me up. Good thing though.

[**gurlash**]

Thanks Chengkii and Sweetubeng and all of my sisters here. For now there are some changes [textspeak!] na ngyayari. I stopped being with friends na mejo nadisappoint ako bcoz i felt i was taken for granted. Im now in a new group na positive ang outlook sa life, mostly are bakla but with girls din, nakakatuwa kc non-stop ang tawanan at okrayan but ina good way. I've been to vacation na rin to an Asian island with my BF and did my initial water sport i've been longing. Deadma na kahit maraming fats, madami din nmng tourists na mataba, lol! Sana tuloy-tuloy na nga.

[**gurlash**]

Aquacharly,

I really love reading your posts, may it be in the politics or Brands We Love thread.


Me naman, I don't lack motivation/inspiration in my life.  My life is simple but I don't find it boring.   

Sis gurlash,  why don't you try watching Korean dramas?  You can get lost in that world and time passes by quickly.

Sis Prisma, i also like aquacharly, pang all-around talaga. Any forum i opened maraming tips yan, nakakatuwa. Keep it up Aquacharly.

Natry ko din yan korean novels. Natapos ko na un Jewel in the palace pero umiiyak ako minsan pag may mga sad scenes pero maganda. Madami pa din akong naka-line up, sumasakit [textspeak!] mata ko kababasa sa subtitles at di nako nakakatulog ng maayos, mas lalong masama pag wala kong tulog. Bumabalik un sad times ko at feeling naapply ko un scene sa life ko, tsk tsk masama effect sakin, kidding!

[C-loves-A]

Gee... I can relate to your posts sis. I was once in your shoes

At 21, I got lots of money but far from family and BF then. I cried myself to sleep wishing to be back home kahit walang pera basta kasama ang mahal sa buhay

Now I am back home, got a high paying position but lots of work responsibilities. Get to travel but still not satisfied

Fastforward... I resigned, currently a fulltime housewife, living a simple life and so much happier today  I told my husband and friend na "I can die na because I feel fulfilled and complete, I have a loving family and husband, I do things for a cause and for the goodness" nothing more to ask. Pero parang ang bata ko pa para mag-isip ng ganito kaya here's what I do:

- Pray kay Lord to guide me on his purpose for me here on earth
- Do things that make me happy (Feel ko kasi for 25 years of my life, lahat naka schedule at ang bilis, never ako nagkaroon ng time to stop and smell the flowers)
- Do charity work, ang sarap ng feeling na may natulungan

[bublegum]

this is a good thread, and im glad i stumbled upon this.
 i feel the same way din kasi
pero with me:
im 30 and i feel like i have not accomplished anything (struggling pa rin ako)
my closest friends have already moved abroad,
no bf since birth (i dont think im panget naman, people ask me why i dont have a bf, i wish i have an answer) ...magkaroon man ng prospect, nauuwi din sa wala
madami pako insecurities, but i do not like to think about them dahil lalo lang ako na de depress

i do my best to keep a positive attitude, see beauty on small things, watch funny shows to lighten up what im feeling, pero ganun pa din... yun bang feeling ko my every effort is useless, parati kasi dissapointments (sa work, life, love)... minsan nga ayoko na mag-look forward to things cause i usually end up dissappointed....

[dys_realbeauty]

same here sis gurlash..i also lack self-motivation or inspiration...and i feel a lot of things are happening beyond my control..i feel lost and clueless...

[Sharon12311]

I was once in your shoes before, not my dream job but its a job wherein i can get the things that i want in life, travel everywhere, buy things i want but too little time to enjoy the fruit of my labor, i came to a point that i also have no motivation, no inspiration, i felt bored, i felt useless, actually i feel the same as what you feel now.

I decided to quit and live a very simple life, i know its a big time adjustment but this is what i found peace of mind, i realized that the common myth about money is that having more will make me more secure, it wont! wealth can be lost instantly through a variety of uncontrollable factors, real security can only be found in that which can never be taken away from you, Your Relationship With GOD

Don"t settle for just achieving "the good life" because the good life is not good enough. ultimately it doesn't satisfy. You can have a lot to live on and still have nothing to live for, Aim instead for the "better life"- serving God in a way that expresses your heart. Figure out what you love to do- what God gave you a heart to do, and then do it for his glory.  follow what your heart desires. Goodluck

A guide that has helped through the good and the bad is Conan's Guide to well being. I live off this guide everyday and It has improved my life tenfold, I recommended it to all of you.
I uploaded for anyone interested here. Please tell me if this guide has helped you.
http://www.multiupload.com/SXBW64HCZB

[CityHunter]

Hi, gurlash.  What you are experiencing is normal for everyone.  Believe me, each and everyone of us went through that phase.  The key is figuring out what will give meaning to your life.  Yun ang mahirap nga lang though.

Tama ka and others here that wealth will not buy you happiness.  Maybe some measure of comfort but never happiness.

What I can advise you to solve this problem without going commercial is make a list of things you do and don't like.  Tapos wish list.  From there you will see what path you should take then meditate on that. 

To those who are afraid to look forward on what lies ahead ay don't be so.  Mas magaan naman yun problems that you solve may it be sa work o sa personal as compared to others - not just me.  Always keep that thought in mind and you will be motivated to continue on.  If stumped ay pause and relax.  Kailangan talaga natin yun that we may be enlightened to a new perspective on how to solve our problems. 

And as always, meditate.  At most of all, never wish for a job like mine.  Ha ha.  You get to travel a lot solving the weirdest problems ever.  I doubt those can be listed on a resume anyway.