Would you ever take back a guy who has cheated on you?

[Girltalker2]

^ what is it with these stupid men ba? G*go nga eh, manloloko rin lang, umalis na sila di ba? Well as for my ex, di daw sya mang iiwan, pero panay pambababae at nagbahay pa ng kabit. At feeling nya sya na yung pinaka responsible at dakilang lalaki sa mundo kasi di daw sya ang bumitiw. G*go di ba?

I was in a limbo for 10 Long agonising years kasi wala nga daw sa vocabularyo nya ang mang iwan. So in the end, I saw the light and ako mismo umalis. Ako din nag file ng annulment.

Mahal ko siya, ako hindi na niya ko mahal. Kasi wala na siyang respeto sakin. Nagawa niya yun sakin sis?

Sis, hanga ako sayo. You have the right mindset. Totoo iyang sinabi mo. Iniisip ko nga why all these thoughts never came to me during my agonising years? Why did it take me so long to realise this? Eh di sana mas maaga ako nakahanap ng true happiness Kung naisip ko sana iyan agad.

In any case, napakadali naman magpaka sweet and sorry for a few minutes eh. Pero nung ginawa nila manloko (takes effort ah, landian, text-an at mag motel at mag plan ng dates), iniisip ba nila asawa nila?

Tsaka feeling ko, iyang mga lalaking nangangaliwa but ayaw iwan ang marriage - is for their own purpose din naman. Kasi ayaw nila malaman sa office or relatives na hiwalay sila, reputation kuno. At the end of the day, sarili lang naman nila ang mahal nila sa lahat ng pinang-gagawa nilang kalokohan.

[stylus]

i'd say itsa NO. Hindi kasi ako mapagpatawad na tao. At mapagtanim ako ng galit at sama ng loob.

Naexperience ko maloko ng ex ko. We were together for 6 yrs. Never naman sya umamin pero mas naniniwala ako sa instinct ko. Nakipagbreak ako noon pero ayaw daw nya. Sinubukan ko naman kalimutan yung mga hinala ko pero di talaga keri. Kaya nakipagbreak nako ulit at final na talaga yun. Sabi ko ke totoo o hindi, hindi naman sya aamin. Pero wala na talaga akong tiwala. So kung paninindigan nyang malinis sya. Fine. Ako ang problema sa relasyon namin. Pero goodbye na talaga.

[minnie99]

Ang sakit naman ng thread na to. Lol.

My bf is really nice. Never thought he'd be the one to be unfaithful. He didn't exactly cheat. Apparently, there was just a point in time na he had feelings for someone in the workplace and she had feelings for him too. And that means they hung out a lot. He even confessed to me that nung nagkaproblema kami, dun siya nag-confide.

He told me all this nung nagka-problema ulit kami, pero di na daw sila nag-uusap. Ang stupid, pero oo, gusto ko siya bigyan ng chance. This wasn't the reason pala kung bakit kami nagka-problema. Iba yung reason. Before we had a talk, he was a little distant na, so I asked him kung may iba. Wala daw, but when we had the talk, he felt he should tell me about it.

I really want to give us a chance. I always thought I could never trust an unfaithful person again. I think I can, because I want to trust him again. I just don't see him try and make it up to me.

I really want us to stay together. I told him that if he doesn't want it, he can just tell me. Kami pa rin, pero ewan ko lately I just feel like it's not the way it used to be. Baka naawa lang siya? Or baka naman it's true na he loves me.

I really want to give us a chance. And/or baka ang sakit lang talaga kasi na wala siya.

Never thought I'd be this stupid. On one hand, I really don't think I deserve this. Tina-try ko makipag-usap sa kanya if may problema kami, I don't go around telling guys who are into me. On the other hand, (and ito na yung parang stupid part of me trying to defend him again) baka I need to change lang talaga kasi nga masyado akong control freak and demanding. Maybe I need to be a little more humble.

Please pray for our relationship. I really believe na staying in love is a choice. Kaya I really want to work with him towards that.

[hisana]

^
Hi, curious lang. Who ended their "relationship"? Sya ba or yung girl? I'd feel bad if I got my guy back just because the other girl decided to give up on him, para bang fallback lang ako and there's a possibility that he hasn't totally gotten over her yet. This is why some men juggle two or more women at the same time...they want to give in to their urges (emotional or otherwise), but they don't want to give up the convenience they're experiencing with their current gf/wife, and yes, para may fallback pa rin if things don't work out with the other.

But this is just my POV. I don't know all the details of your relationship, so maybe he does deserve a second chance. If you feel it's worth giving another shot, then lucky guy.

[minnie99]

^Hi sis, I don't really want to bring it up with him anymore so I can only interpret what he has said to me.

1. Siya daw yung nag-end kasi hindi na daw tama.
2. When I confronted him (when we had our second "talk") na bakit siya nag-confide sa babae na alam niyang may gusto sa kanya he said "Hindi ko alam yun. Hindi ko talaga alam kung ganun." Which I think means he wasn't sure she liked him back that way.

So based on this, I think he ended his friendship with her because he knew he was "falling" or getting there pero he didn't want to be unfair to me. I asked him if he still thought of her. Oo daw pero labas daw siya sa problema namin. But honestly, I can't help but be paranoid na kaya siya nagiging distant sa akin ay dahil he fell for her, or siguro not exactly, pero parang he's second-guessing our relationship because he found something in someone else that he couldn't find in me... Or maybe that's me over-analyzing.

Ako right now I'm struggling more with his being distant (after all, I believe wala na silang communication dahil lumipat siya); kasi hindi na talaga siya sweet like before, hindi na rin siya makwento, sobrang daming awkward/silent moments. And it all happened overnight. I know, because I can compare his texts before May 9 and after May 9. Ibang iba.

But I guess you could be right. I do not know the whole story, after all, ayaw niya magkwento or pag-usapan yung problem. Maybe they said their goodbyes dahil nag-resign nga siya then na-bring up yung feelings. I don't know. I know he's trying to bury the problem kaya hindi ko na rin inaalam from him, dahil pag hindi ko rin binury yun, yun ang makakasira sa amin.

[Girltalker2]

after all, ayaw niya magkwento or pag-usapan yung problem. Maybe they said their goodbyes dahil nag-resign nga siya then na-bring up yung feelings. I don't know. I know he's trying to bury the problem kaya hindi ko na rin inaalam from him, dahil pag hindi ko rin binury yun, yun ang makakasira sa amin.

Ano yun forever kayong di mag uusap? Paano nyo maaalagaan ang relationship nyo if he is distant and you know something is off?

Yes if you bury your problems, short term, kayo parin. But in the long run, your relationship is bound to fail because sincere and honest communication is not there. Iyan din ang makakasira sa inyo. That's why in time (if not now) both of you need to sort it out - hindi yun tipo Ikaw lang mag change, dapat sya rin kusa umayos for this relationship.

[drag0nfly]

I did! Then I dumped him hehe.

[parpol_haze]

^Same!

I can now say na hindi ko na ito magagawa. Tama na yung ilang years na pagiging martyr ko sa isang cheater. Pag nag-cheat si current boyfriend, Sayonara! Maikli lang ang buhay.

[mitch_daily]

But I guess it depends if both of you have been living in together for some time; not to mention the length of the reationship. What else can you not endure?

[sensi]

for me i would never. cause may reason yan when a man cheats.
i know someone, a friend of a friend. her bf cheated on her many times na but nagkakabalikan naman sila.i dont know if t*nga lang ang girl or mahal niya lang talaga.
to the extent na on and off sila dahil sa pagchecheat ng guy.
but eto, sa huli, guess what, pinakasalan niya ang guy! so goodluck nalang sakanila.

[mitch_daily]

No

[reighnyielle]

My younger self would take a cheater back but I know better now that I'm older so a BIG NO

[alexmack]

I did. And up until now I always think if I made the right decision.

[Ms. Undecided]

I did, in 1 month he cheated on me 7 times for the same girl.
Nung una, pangalawa, pangatlo, pang-apat, MASAKIT SOBRA! Pero yung pang-lima, pang anim, pang pito, parang medyo madali na tanggapin para sakin. I know, martir ako. He promised that he will never do that again. Ilang beses ako nakipaghiwalay pero ayaw niya, pinupuntahan niya ko sa bahay, sa office to say sorry. Tinanggap ko siya, pero yung trust, sobrang hirap ibalik but I'm working on it. We're working on it. He says bigyan ko siya ng 1 month para patunayan niya na magbabago na siya. Sabi niya kung hindi na daw niya ko mahal hindi na daw siya magsstay. 7 times cheated but I still chose the stay. Pagod lang ako pero mahal ko pa siya. How can I forget the one who accepts and love me when I don't even know how to love myself? Im in this situation na ayoko ng maranasan yung sakit pero gusto kong maranasan parin yung ganung klaseng pagmamahal. I know, sobrang t*nga ko na. Hihintayin ko nalang na magsawa ako

[honeybunny]

^if he loves and respects you, he won't cheat on you. But to each his own. Someday, matatauhan ka rin. Been there done that. Good luck sis. 😊

[Ms. Undecided]

^if he loves and respects you, he won't cheat on you. But to each his own. Someday, matatauhan ka rin. Been there done that. Good luck sis. 😊

Thank sis. Sobrang nahihirapan na ko I'm super paranoid. Alam ko naman na sagot sa tanong ko kung dapat ko na ba siyang i-give up. Alam ko naman na dapat ko na talagang itigil, pero parang hindi ko kaya

[honeybunny]

^ang pinakamahirap kasi is to get out of our comfort zone. Nasanay ka na na niloloko ka nya. Kahit masakit, yan ang comfort zone mo e. Jan ka comfortable. But once you realize what you deserve. What you want in your life, how people should be treating you, what you can and cannot accept from other people, how you want your relationship to be, once you have accepted who he really is, na things will never be the same, that's when you will realize what you would do to get what you want and what you truly deserve. Maybe ask your self those questions first. And really think about it.

Please don't think wala nang ibang magmamahal sayo kagaya ng pagmamahal na binigay nya sayo. Kahit ano pa yan.  Share ko lang.  I have been in a 7 year relationship. Hatid sundo ng kotse sa office. May bahay kame. Kumpleto gamit. Hindi kame mayaman but it is more comfortable than what i had back when i was living with my parents. Nung nagising ako sa katotohanan, i packed my bags, keber if i shared money in that house (appliances, etc), i can still earn that money. I dont care if i go back home living with my parents kahit hindi masyado comfortable. I don't care where i am as long as i am not in that house and i am not with him. Yes. I chose to trust him back, but for my sanity, i had to leave. Kasi hirap magtiwala na.

It was  a huge adjustment sakin. Balik commute. Alikabok. Balik sa bahay namin. Pero for 6 months lang yun kasi i found a way to get an apartment. I met a few guys na palpak. At one point naisip ko rin maybe i made a wrong decision. But i always remember na it wasn't wrong, kasi it is for my sanity. I never lost hope. I moved on. And i can say it was one of the biggest heartache i had but with that experience i can say din na kaya kong pagdaanan any kind of heartache there is kasi i have been through the worse.

Ask yourself those questions. Those were the same questions i had then. Think about it. And take your time sis.

[Ocarina1]

Hello! joining this thread!

I did, twice and it broke my heart and my bank. 

first boyfriend kasi, LDR. we dated exclusively in 2009, broke up coz he cheated 3 months after. i came back to Manila to finish my degree, we reconciled 2 months later and started dating again. he cheated again with a different girl in 2011, reason nya LDR daw kasi kami (again)  and graduate na ko nito 1 year na kaming LDR. 2 weeks later he started asking help from everyone lalo na mom ko. i was decided na di na sha balikan pero sabi ng mom ko baka nagbago na - eh di ba mothers know best daw? so naniwala ako. i regret this though, hindi na ako in love like before, parang i only settled kasi wala pang ibang better and dahil may expectation ako na he will cheat again, i stayed kasi gusto ko sya mismo mag tanggal ng expectation na yon. I was wrong! in 2013 he cheated again with a different girl, we fought a lot, i embarrassed myself for a year and then nanahimik na ko.

last year i started dating one of my best friends, and we're getting married next year.
masaya naman ako sa current ko, parang kung gaano ako kamalas sa ex ko ganito ako kaswerte sa fiance ko <3 .

I only regret taking my ex back the second time. madami akong hinabol as a single woman in her prime like career, family time, me-time. sana di ako nakinig sa mom ko. may mga ganyan ba. puro regrets. tapos may utang sakin yung ex ko, sabi ng fiance ko singilin namin, aba binlock ako! tumawa na lang kami ni fiance.

lesson is: life is like a movie - kahit ilang beses mong panuorin, ganun pa rin ang ending. serial cheaters are serial cheaters.

[Ms. Undecided]

^^ Sis HoneyBunny, Naiyak ako Alam ko I don't deserve this. Tama nga, ito yung comfort zone ko. For the last time, I'm still hoping na hindi na niya uulitin. Sinabi ko na sa sarili ko na last na talaga, pag nangyari pa ulit hind na ko magpaparamdam sa kanya, di ko na siya iko-confront kasi once na makita ko siya tas mag sorry siya, babalik na naman ako sa pagiging t*nga

Sabi ko nga humahanga ako sa mga girls dito kasi kinaya nila, may nabasa pa nga ako dito 12 years sila tas naghiwalay lang din pero kinaya niya. Sabi ko sa sarili ko na sana kaya ko rin. Andami kong regrets, sana nung 4th time na niloko niya ko na parang tinataboy na niya ko sana dun palang bumitaw na ko. Sana hindi na ko naghabol

Saka sabi ko sa kanya, dahil sa kanya nawalan akong ng tiwala sa lalaki pati sa relationship. Totoo, wala na akong tiwala. Naiisip ko na yung mga lalaki pare-pareho lang, kukunin loob mo, mamahalin ka tas iiwan ka rin. Sa relationship naman, parang bakit tatagalan niyo pa eh maghihiwalay din naman. Sana mabago pa yung view ko sa Love. I know, it's still a long run, 23 palang naman ako. I'll just go with the flow. But I will stick to my promise, kapag naulit pa, bye bye na talaga *crossed fingers*

[honeybunny]

^it will change sis. Dadating yung time na makikita mo talaga kung ano ang real love. You are in this storm right now. But the rain will stop soon and you will see the sunshine. Isipin ko na lang this is what you have to go through to become the stronger woman that you are meant to be. This is what you have to go through bago mo makita si the one. It will soon come. For now, mend your broken heart. I wish you well sis.