Would you ever take back a guy who has cheated on you?

[HoldingOn]

Would you ever take back a guy who has cheated on you? For me, it depends. In my situation, yes, I will take him back, I want to give him another chance. Kasi first, aminado ako sa mga pagkukulang ko. Second, he has been very kind, loving, and faithful for more than a decade of being my partner, and one mistake cannot remove the love I have for him. Pero ang tanong: is he willing to reconcile with me? Hindi ko pa alam. As of now, I am still working on my self healing and self improvement, para kung bumalik man siya, then, I will be a better ME. Kung hindi naman siya bumalik, then, I am already an improved version of myself for my future partner.

[metasassy]

No way! Sabi nga nila once a cheater, always a cheater. So should you decide to give him another chance di ka din magiging happy dahil praning ka na. Nawala na yung trust mo sa kanya eh.

[HoldingOn]

^first offense, then maybe they deserve forgiveness only and if they ask for it. second offense, no-no na para sa akin.

[ettevyvi]

i'm still hurting since it's still fresh, pero i hope i can move on with what happened and we can continue working out our relationship. pag naulit pa, hindi na talaga. super t**** na ko non.   

that's hard. pero sis tandaan mo.. sorry means nothing if he really doesn't understand why he's wrong. and the keyword is 'flirting'. been there done that. my ex even told the girl he's flirting with na 'wala daw syang lovelife' wtf? i let it slide and it did end up him cheating on me with another workmate from another workplace. he said sorry too. he said na he's not going to do it. pero still he did.

bottom line, i guess if one cheated to keep our sanity in check.. it is best to boot him out of your life.

listen to your gut. i guess that's the only thing that never lies.

[tipC_shoegal]

^i don't mean to offend you, sis ha but from what you posted here, i feel that you're just feeding off his abusiveness, sis. parang sanay ka na na nasasaktan ng paulit-ulit. na parang okay na sa'yo basta lang mag-sorry tapos isang chance ulit. sadly, i cannot completely agree with that reason - yung hindi mo alam bakit sa kabila ng mga ginawa at ginagawa nya ay willing ka pa din tanggapin siya. dapat kasi alam mo na ang mali sa tama eh and sana if you'd give your hubby another chance, make sure he'd really stick to his words and that you'd really see results that would give you complete peace of mind and your trust would be as good as new.

here's a story i'd share: my dad cheated on my mother. he had three kids outside their marriage, i couldn't understand my mom regarding that part at first but my dad did everything to win her back and he completely dropped the other woman. after many months of butting heads, of word wars and hysteria from my mom and dad, thankfully now, wala nang problem. my mom even acknowledges my half siblings now. why? 'coz my dad totally committed to his promises and even tripled his efforts of really changing and choosing who he really would love until the last day of his life.

sana maging committed din ang asawa mo to really change. i'd pray that he'd be enlightened and empowered to really take away all your paranoia, distrust and pain so you all may live the happy life that all families are supposed to live.

[ettevyvi]

^i dont know if giving him a second chance was a right decision. pinagdadasal ko na lang...

second chance is a leap of faith. well, i think most of us will do so.. pero bakit most second chances don't really work? i guess it depends upon the circumstances.

[ettevyvi]

^like what?

if the person cheated, and you know s/he'll never change. if there are things na hindi na talaga nagwowork out because you have different views on things.

we break-up for a reason. and if that reason is not solved or solved but the same issue keeps on popping out, then the second chance is not worth it.

[tipC_shoegal]

ewan ko ba sis..di ko na talaga alam kung tama ba tong ginagawa ko.sa ngayon kasi eh talagang pinaglalaban ko sya.hirap kasi ng sitwasyon nasa abroad sila parehas nung kabit nya.tapos ako nandito.gulong gulo na ko

You're obviously the underdog right now but if that's your take, suit yourself.

If there's one sentence that you should stop saying, that's "Ewan ko ba kung tama ba itong gingagawa ko." Sis, it's unacceptable eh. You HAVE TO KNOW your game plan. You can't say that you really don't know why you're still doing what you're doing because you know what you're doing and you're still pouring your efforts for that man because you love him!

I just hope you'd take into consideration all that we've said. In the long run, you still will have the last say anyway, sis. Good luck!

[tipC_shoegal]

^ thanks talaga sa advice sis..yung nararamdaman ko kasi sa ngayon kahit na alam kong talo ako eh ayoko pa din magpatalo.talagang pinapakiusapan ko silang dalawa

You're welcome but sis, aren't you tired? Hindi ka din ba naaawa sa sarili mo? I mean, looking at it, that "pakiusap" you're doing is like "begging" for them to break it off, yeah? I don't know, I just felt bad reading this from you. That to me, is just way too desperate but yeah, who am I to judge you? I've never been in your shoes, anyway. All I want you to understand and eventually acquire are, the limits you might want to place on yourself and to learn how to face your problems with dignity so even if you end up losing your husband, you still can hold your head up high in the end.

[ettevyvi]

^ thanks talaga sa advice sis..yung nararamdaman ko kasi sa ngayon kahit na alam kong talo ako eh ayoko pa din magpatalo.talagang pinapakiusapan ko silang dalawa

Bakit sila pa ang kailangang pakiusapan mo sis? Eh dapat nga sila ang makiusap sa 'yo. Because they have wronged you. If you really want to come up being a winner, then you have to act like one.

No matter how much you beg, they will never listen. Dahil wala silang values. Dahil sa kanila, tama yung ginagawa nila. The only thing you can do is to prove them with your actions.

well then, i think ngayon ko malalaman if this second chance is worth it.

hmmm. indeed. but sometimes, it's better not to give someone a second chance, most especially if they have done something so grave you can't trust them anymore. however, it's still your call, if you really want to know how they work out.

[rheinfall18]

find better ways para hindi mag-cheat ang partner..hindi naman gagawin yun kung walang dahilan..prevention is better than cure ika nga ^^

[FOURever]

^dear, in relationship, one should not always be passive. I know you did not mention naman to be passive pero the way I see it lang sa message na gusto mo iparating. it's all about respect. Yes, there are reasons why some cheat pero we can never deny the fact that some people are really just that way.. And no matter how you do a 'better way' to prevent it, wala sa kanila yun.. It's about knowing if your partner is the right person and if the timing is right, then there maniniwala pa ako na men born a player, magbabago pa kahit walang gawing 'better way' yung partner nila

In love, there is no better way of loving a person.. If we cannot love them the way they want to be loved, it doesn't mean we don't love them that much. It's all about respect and contentment. And those values start/grow from the person himself..

[tipC_shoegal]

^Agree! Well said, FOURever.

I don't agree that prevention is better than cure because just like sis FOURever here, it all boils down to solid R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Regardless of whether we are the expressive or the "passive" type of partner, that's no reason to look away and play around. I don't see the point nor the need to double my efforts and even better my ways when I'm in a relationship just to KEEP my partner contented since the understanding of being in a serious, romantic relationship is the respect that you will remain exclusively for each other no matter how worse you become.

It's tolerance at it's best when you let yourself go and fall for a person that is because you love the person, you trust the person and you will remain monogamous until you breathe your last. That's commitment, that's contentment brought about by RESPECT. See, it's like the end all and be all.

[euwie]

i took my husband back, but i always think of getting an annulment. hindi ko talaga matake ang cheaters. lalo na't wala naman akong ginawang masama. we were ldr before when he cheated on me. sabi nya, my absence pushed him to cheat. usapan naman namin, kung hindi na nya kaya ganong set-up, sabihin nya lang sa akin basta wag nya ako lokohin, maiintindihan ko, maghihiwalay kami ora mismo. pero kelangan siguro nya talaga ng "parausan" (sorry for the term). maski ano pa yun, maski sabihin pa nyang walang love involved, pagtataksil pa rin yun, it's the same, only with different palusot. ayoko na talaga. it's been 2 years and 3 months since i found out pero hindi talaga ako makalimot. siguro talagang hindi ko kaya i-take ang cheaters. i'd rather be single than be cheated on.

[FOURever]

^hug sis teary eyed ko ng binabasa ko story mo

[ettevyvi]

^Yes, there are reasons why some cheat pero we can never deny the fact that some people are really just that way.. And no matter how you do a 'better way' to prevent it, wala sa kanila yun..

Indeed! Girls and boys alike, wag na wag nyong sisihin ang sarili nyo kapag niloko kayo ng isang tao. Never let someone blame their infidelity on you. EVER. Eto lang tandaan nyo, may mga tao kasi talagang hindi manloloko. Period.

I don't agree that prevention is better than cure because just like sis FOURever here, it all boils down to solid R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Regardless of whether we are the expressive or the "passive" type of partner, that's no reason to look away and play around. I don't see the point nor the need to double my efforts and even better my ways when I'm in a relationship just to KEEP my partner contented since the understanding of being in a serious, romantic relationship is the respect that you will remain exclusively for each other no matter how worse you become.

Nice point here sis. I like this!

[Serena.]

a big NO-NO.

[euwie]

^hug sis teary eyed ko ng binabasa ko story mo

thanks sis for the hug. hay sa tagal ko ng issue to sis sa sarili ko, alam mo na siguro story ko by now. kung san san na ako nagpost dito sa gt regarding this. i'm really trying my very best but it's really a big challenge to me. kaya i salute those people specially those wives na niloko na natatanggap pa nila cheating husbands nila, at talagang pinaglalaban nila. tinatanong ko sa sarili ko, bakit ako hindi ko nafeel ipaglaban? ang nafeel ko nun, sige sa kanya na mister ko, keber ko, i don't deserve a man like that. kung ako lang talaga, gusto ko malampasan tong malaking pagsubok na to. but my mind says differently. people are telling me to move on with my married life and bury the past. tutal natauhan na daw si mister big time, as in big time. hay buhay! kaya guys, tandaan, "Wag na wag mong ipagpapalit sa iilang oras na kaligayahan ang isang relasyong matagal mong INIINGATAN."

[ettevyvi]

"Wag na wag mong ipagpapalit sa iilang oras na kaligayahan ang isang relasyong matagal mong INIINGATAN."

sis, madaming di nakakaaalam ng salitang yan kaya tayo andito hehe. pero tayo, sa puso't kaluluwa, alam na alam natin tong mga salitang 'to.

[JINJIN:*]

uu..i will..kung ex ko..pero its a long process and it will take a lot of hard work para ma gain ulit ang trust. Lagi kong sinasabi na everybody deserves a second chance, minsan baka nabubulagan lang. Anyway, if you have the guts to walk away please do so.