afraid of breaking-up with him..

[calin22]

deleted post

[lovemeagain30]

ang unang tanong ko sayo sis eh eto.. "yaya ka ba niya" or "2nd mom ka na ba niya" for that matter.

susmaryusep tinuturuan mo pa yan mag aral. ano ba yan grade school? maiintindihan kong mahal mo kaya ganyan ka pero iha matanda ka na ba para mag alaga ng anak? kung kasing edad mo lang yan eh haler di naman niya yata kailangan ng pangalawang ina.

uu nga't ginawa mo lahat dahil mahal mo. pero sa totoo lang exag din naman na halos kulang nalang tratuhin mo siya parang kinder.

minsanan lang kayo lang bakamo kayo mag date? natural walang pera yun student.. malamang ikaw pa ang gumagastos ng pangkain kain ninyo sa labas.. oh aminin! 

been there, done that sis. sabi sayo its not worth it. kung ikaw kumukita ng sarili mong pera marami magkakagusto sayo na mas mataas pa sa level mo pramis! at masarap yung feeling na ikaw ang prinsesa or reyna kesa naman ganyan.

kung paghihinayang mo ang 4 years eh di sige ibuburo mo lang sarili mo sa ganyan. gaya ng sinabi hindi ka naman yaya or nanay niya, gf ka di ba? dapat tinatrato ka ng ganun. saka matanda na yang bf.. at matanda ka na rin.. lam mo narin dapat ang tama at hindi tamang gawin.

nung kabataan ko pa lagi ko sinasabi sa mga pinsan kong lalake na mas bata sakin na "kapag student ka at wala kang trabaho..wala karin karapatan mag gf!!". kasi wala kang sariling pera at ang ginagastos mo ay pera ng nagpapa aral sayo. saka hello kawawa lang din yung babae papatol sakanila (lalo na kung yung gf ang may work).. aysus si
babae ang gagastos sa mga ganyan.

kaya sis mag isip at wag lang padadala sa love. praktikal na ngayon! makakahanap ka pa ng mas better na bf.

[michipoo]

isa sa best advice na nakuha ko from a friend is this, dont expect anything in return. oo gasgas na yang line na yan pero isipin mo ng mabuti. natural satin na when we do something, we expect na may babalik. pero hindi tama yun. We do it because we want it, hindi natin ginawa yun para ibalik din satin yung ginawa satin.

We have the same situation sis, takot tlaga ako maghiwalay kami. naging dependent na ko sakanya, hindi kumpleto araw ko kapagf di ko siya nakakausap pero all we have to do is accept. hindi natin pwede ipilit ang talagang di para satin. it'll be hard pero once na nakaramdam ka ng hurt or pagkamiss, talk to god. he'll listen. thats what i do. hindi ako pala simba na tao at di rin  paladasal pero simula nung naging rocky na ang relationship namin i always find myself praying, i ask for his guidance. Its not easy to forget but surely time will come we can go on with our life na masaya

[petlovah]

i can super relate to michipoo.. im not the religious type of person but i always recommend praying as the most reliable and powerful way of recovering. maybe our plans maybe different from God's plan. either way, BE THANKFUL. Lahat talaga ng nangyayari may reason and kung anuman ang reason na yan, only God knows and we should learn to accept that. In time, you will be able to recover as well. Just don't forget to pray dear.

[petlovah]

that's right calin. pray. it also helps to cry to release the pain and true enough that we should cry until no tears fall from our eyes. moving on is really hard but acceptance is really the key. we don't know, maybe he'll come back but for me, i shrugged off the chances of him going back with me. i offered everything God and sabi ko, bahala na Siya

[michipoo]

Ako din ganyan, sabi ko " lord kayo na po bahala. Ipagpapasa-dyos ko nalang po lahat. Kung magiging kami ulit, then il be happy. Kung hindi, i know you better have plans for us."

Iyak lang sis. darating din yung time na magsasawa ka kakaiyak. feel the pain, wag mo itago. Mas masarap yung feeling kapag nailalabas mo yung sakit. Its hard. Pero kaya to. Isipin mo nalang sis, may mas better pa na darating para sayo. Stay strong.

[aquacharly]

CALIN    do not ever doubt yourself... na you are not worth loving or something like that.... coz, you gave it your all, and then you will just part ways.

OO naintindihan kita ... you ask yourself,  ano pa ba ang maibibigay ko sa taong ito?  You feel you have given your all really.

When we love someone, you cannot really expect an equal reciprocation.   Coz love does not count, love does not make cuenta.
Don't a lot of us go ahead with full optimism, and risk it all?
Then sometimes,  inspite of giving our "all",  we encounter heartbreak.

Such is life.   Sometimes, bad things happen to good people.
                    People change.   
                    Love cannot be forced.

Plus the irony of it, to quote Tina Monzon Palma:

       You can measure how much you love someone
       by how much that person can hurt you.


What have I learned to-date, that I can share with you?
    That of course, we seek to love and be loved... but,  we should never neglect to love and take care of ourselves.  Never doubt your self worth.
    And sometimes,  we need to have our hearts broken to be able to move on to something much much much better.

Pray for Divine Guidance -- so that you may get through this difficult phase of your life with poise and a clear head.   
Trust in God... there is always something better down the road.

[aquacharly]

CALIN 22    Well, women do tend to give it their all, and go on an extended run of  giving their best, and hoping, hoping, hoping.
                 And yes,  one should adjust when in a relationship =- it is but to be expected.
   
                 HOWEVER,  tadah!  eto na ang sermon ...  adjust to be more of  your Self than self... and if you lose yourself with all the adjusting you do, then realize 1 day you no longer "see" yourself... ay santa banana... you are lost.   Do not bring yourself there ha?

God bless.

[aquacharly]

CALIN, you said it is hard most of us expect you to be strong, and to walk away since this relationship (as you see it) is just going on and on and on by just your efforts.   

CALIN .. some women who walk out of a relationship that is no longer fair to them... are not strong,  their hearts just got tired.   

[Perky!]

i agree to aquacharly. Some of us just get really tired. It doesnt mean were giving up, its just that we realize that we dont have to settle for anything less.

Calin22, i understand there are a lot of factors why you are afraid to break up with him, he's your first, you've been together for years. One factor nyan is that your afraid to start over without him. Dont regret the things that youve done for him, kase you love him e, you did those out of love. Dont count what you have adjusted for him. Mahirap na at pag nagaway kayo, you might just throw those back at him, and lalabas pa na nanunumbat ka, which is something that you musnt do sa taong mahal mo.

 if there's one thing you should regret, maybe you prioritized him more, you focused on what makes him happy, than your own personal happiness. Love yourself more, like you mentioned that youre addressing naman na ngayon.

i see myself in you, just to share, i broke up with my first bf ever few months ago, we were together for years din. its hard for me and until now, i havent really moved on. but, i believe im in a better situation now than when i was with him.

If its worth another try, give it a shot. If you think the relationship is worth defending, do so. But dont do it for the reason na he's your first, and you've been together for so long, or marami ka ng na sacrifice for him . make sure you dont compromise your own happiness for his own benefit alone. Cry if you must, but give yourself a rest.

of course.. Pray..

[orangerainbow]

hi sis, ngayon ko lang nabasa itong post mo. hehe. i agree sa lahat ng sinabi ng sis natin dito.

pansin ko, ayaw ng mga lalaki na sila ang nakikipag break mismo, kaya nagbibigay sila ng mga signs na obvious para sa atin na ayaw na nila, para tayo magisip, magdecide at eventually makipaghiwalay.

siguro dapat nating isipin, nagiging better person ba tayo dahil sa relationship o worse? is it still worth it? cympre, ang sagot nating mga martir, ay oo. pero what about other people's opinion? your family? close friends? minsan kasi nakakatulong rin yung mga taong malapit lang sa atin kasi nakikita nila ang estado natin before, during and after the relationship.

God will help you sis, hindi natin alam kung anong paraan. trust in Him sis, you'll never get lost. always remember sis : God's love stands still when all else has fallen.

[wella]

^the reason why kaya ayaw makipagbreak ng mga guys, and they're giving us the signs... kase they hate explanations! Pansinin nyo pag nag-aaway kyo, they just say "sorry" or "oo na sige na" para matapos lang yung argument. Alam mo naman tayong mga girls eh talagang matanong. So ang gagawin nila eh, magiging cold na sila, sympre tyo.. bat parang nagbabago na sya... loka-lokahan na tyo kakaisip kung anong nagawa naten mali... til we decided na ayaw mo na kase ganon na yung treatment sayo... so ayun... Yung ibang guys naman daw kase, di rin nila ma-take yung iniiyakan sila ng girl in front of them. Masakit din daw sa kanila yun... pero ayun nga sabi nga nila, ginawa mo na ang lahat pero kulang pa rin... parang linya sa teleserye! hehe

[aquacharly]

Leave in the past what no longer works.

[baliwsayo]

Tingin ko wala ka naman choice.. ayaw niya na pala eh. Reserve some dignity na lang para sa sarili mo at itaas mo ang noo mo and walk away from this guy na hindi kaya iappreciate ang value mo.

[sheyfashionizta]

hmmm.. actually its been a couple of days palang akong nakipagbreak sa kanya.. alam mo yung feeling of tiredness and umiiksi ang pasensiya sa relationship.. kase ako i already gave my all, as in lahat lahat.. wala na nga yata akong pride sa sobrang pagbaba ng sarili just to work this out. inshort napabayaan ko na pagkatao ko. pero time will come na mafefeel mo nalang na napapagod ka rin pala,. and the love will turn to hatred na. minsan sa sobrang weak ko sa letting go. i find ways para maka cope up sa situation. like iniisip ko lahat ng negative things na nagawa niya sa akin, kasi if puro positive and happy moments matatalo ka lang, so try mo idivert yung love and kidness mo sa bad side mo. para mas madali maka move on, hate mo siya,. isipin mo lagi na masama siyang tao. pag galit ka nwawala yung sense of kindness mo na once nagmakaawa siya syo matitiis mo siya, by that time na mareralize niya na syet kaya din pala niya mawala ako sa kanya.

according to my guy friends, pinaka masakit sa lalake yung nakikita niya yung ex niya na masaya after break ups, yung parang walang nagyari. yung papakita mo na kapag wala siya sa buhay mo you can still do things in a normal way. its really hard pero i know you can do it. as what others did. infact sabi nga nila and tested naman talaga na kapag may nawala may mas better pa na darating.

[orangerainbow]

sad to say sis? hindi ka na masaya sa relationship sis? magusap kaya kayo sis, para alam niya nararamdaman mo at baka sakali magawan ng paraan yung nararamdaman mo. para marealize niyo sa isa't-isa kung ano man pagkukulang niyo parehas.

[snow_flakes]

@aquacharly: from your post: CALIN .. some women who walk out of a relationship that is no longer fair to them... are not strong,  their hearts just got tired.   

one big check 

[_AiaH_]

sis Calin, I know it's really difficult to walk out of a relationship na halos ibuhos mo lahat to make it work. Always, always remember, pain is temporary, nawawala yan, it takes time, oo pero mawawala din.

Ikaw, sa tingin mo san ka mas masasaktan? kapag nagstay ka or kapag umalis ka? isipin mo din,, dahil hindi pwede naman na paulit ulit mo hahayaan ang sarili mong ganyan.

[ladyheart528]

Sis, parang same tayo, 4yrs and 7months na kami. At malamang mag hiwalay, at di na matuloy ang kasal. Since lastweek nagstart kami eto na pinakamalala namin napagdaan kasi talagang natiis niya di ako itext o tawagan. Tumatawag ako at text pero ni isa walang sagot. Di ko alam kung napakalaking kasalanan nagawa ko, na sabi ko kasi isama nya un kapatid niya pag nagpunta siya spa para may kausap o kakwentuhan siya. Ayun wala daw ako tiwala sa kanya. Until now lahat tawag at text ko di niya sinagot. Nanay niya nakakausap ko di naman daw alam [textspeak!] problem di daw nagsabi eh. Ang sakin lang naman tell me kung may patutunguhan pa tayo. O wala. Para di ako naka hang. Kasi ang sakit sakit ng pakiramdam ko. May mga nabook na kami mga supplier church, venue, p/v, hmua, ring. Pero di ko alam [textspeak!] na gagawin ko. Kasi di ko siya makausap.

[rianne_mallows]

^sis.. baka wedding jitters lang