Middle Child: Questions, Issues, Stories, etc.

[msharapova11]

I'm a middle child too, when started reading post from sisses, I felt sadness and bitterness of being one. Ayoko na isaisahing balikan ang mga unfair treatment samin magkakapatid. Ang favorite kasi nila e iyong 2 bunso, bunsong lalake at babae. (3 marias kami and 1 bunsong lalake). I'm not after my parent's money or property, since my mom's open about it, she said this house, this lot, this bank accts, will go to the 2 bunso kasi kami daw ng ate ko ay may asawa na? Bata pa ang parents ko but based from what she said to me, nakapangalan na daw mga  bank acct nila sa bunsong lalake. Ayoko na lang magkaroon ng sama ng loob sa kanila, iniisip ko na lang, hindi ko naman kelangan pera nila. Pero iisipin ko lang...talagang totoo iyong nararamdaman kong unfair treatment since nun bata pa

[Margaritabythebeach]

I'm a middle child too, when started reading post from sisses, I felt sadness and bitterness of being one. Ayoko na isaisahing balikan ang mga unfair treatment samin magkakapatid. Ang favorite kasi nila e iyong 2 bunso, bunsong lalake at babae. (3 marias kami and 1 bunsong lalake). I'm not after my parent's money or property, since my mom's open about it, she said this house, this lot, this bank accts, will go to the 2 bunso kasi kami daw ng ate ko ay may asawa na? Bata pa ang parents ko but based from what she said to me, nakapangalan na daw mga  bank acct nila sa bunsong lalake. Ayoko na lang magkaroon ng sama ng loob sa kanila, iniisip ko na lang, hindi ko naman kelangan pera nila. Pero iisipin ko lang...talagang totoo iyong nararamdaman kong unfair treatment since nun bata pa

Ay that is so saaad naman. Nakausap mo na ba ang parents mo about it? Alam mo sa batas ang mana kasi hati sa mga kapatid. Kung 100 pesos ang iniwan ni Mommy dapat tig 25 kayong magkakapatid. Legally speaking. From your kwento, sana maging mas fair sila Mommy and Daddy mo. Siguro dapat kausapin mo parents mo about it para alam nila saloobin mo. Nakakabanas nga yon. I admire you for being cool despite what happened. 

[k_heart]

I'm also a middle child. Wala akong issues during my childhood and even up to now. Wah rin ako care sa pamana, i have my own investments.

[jeninajenina]

Well I am the middle child and sometimes i really hate it. Ewan ko kung inarte lang ako pero yun talaga madalas nakikita ko..


Sa Umaga, Wala akong uniform na pamasok, Wala akong almusal, basta kukuha na lang ako ng baon para makaalis na sa bahay, samantalang yung kuya ko, pinaglalaba at pinagpplantsa ng nanay ko sa madaling araw, at yung bunso namin e dinadalan nya ng lunch sa school para lang mainit yung tanghalian nya.

Di ako close sa mga kamaganak ko, lagi ako may label na masyadong seryoso at masyadong matalino. Hindi lang kasi ako madali ma-amuse kaya di ako nasama sa kanila, sorry to say this pero di ko kasi feel na tumambay maghapon sa bahay ng mga kamaganak ko para lang makipagchismisan magdamag at makipagplastican.

well, acting panganay ako sa amin, ewan ko kung i obligated myself to be, o sadyang nakakapressure lang naman talaga, ang kuya ko 6 years ng nasa college di pa rin graduate, nakick out sa la salle, ako, engineering ako sa la salle, i got 15 units of failure, and they assumed na napakabobo ko. Ineexpect nila na ako ang tutulong sa kanila pagkagraduate ko, ikukuha daw nila sarili nila ng bahay at ako na magbabayad nun, at ako na rin ang magpapaaral sa bunso namin pag nagcollege sya. nakakairita lang.

noon when i was on highschool, nakapasa kuya ko sa la salle, he got an electric guitar for a gift, ako i passed up, dlsu, mapua, ust and i got nothing. di naman ako materialistic kaso nakakainis lang pag ganun.

tsaka pag nandito sa bahay, when there is something that needs to be done, ako ang tatawagin, sasabihin "tumulong ka naman" pero yung kuya ko nagddota maghapon at yung bunso si miss facebook naman, madalas gusto ko na sumagot kaso lang nirrespeto ko sila at as much as possible ayaw ko sila mabastos.


di rin ako madalas lumapit sa kanila, kasi nga andami na nila problema sa dalawa kong kapatid, lagi ako walang permit sa exam, lagi ako magaadjust, lagi ako nalang, kasi ako daw yung nakakaintindi.

kaya nga pag nasa relationship ako, i intend to lean a lot sa bf, kasi wala na ko masandalan sa bahay. siguro kaya i find it hard not to be with somebody, kasi i can't seek for help and care and love sa family ko.

[phoebe1811]

Im a middle child too and the only girl at ang pinakapasaway samin. I dont see myself na ako un "black sheep" hehe i just do what i know would make happy medyo risky i know! Hahaha ayoko kasi ng minamanduhan dahil alam ko naman what im capable of.not afraid to try new things and if ever magkamali at least i learn a lesson from it.

if you guys feel kawawa kayo sa family niyo then do something about it in a positive way don't let it ruin your day. Make it as a motivation for you

[grace.kelly]

Puro middle child, eto lament naman ng may kapatid na middle child haha. My elder sis, the middle child, was the rebel in our family, lalo na nung teenager siya, I won't speak of the things she did na lang. I can't tell kung close kami or not pero lagi kami nag-aaway pero magkasundo naman din. But she is the most successful sa aming magkakapatid ngayon, that is if you define success as working in another country. Napakadrama niya parati, always saying na kinakawawa siya, walang paki sa kanya. My parents are trying to reach her naman pero siya itong lumalayo kasi nga feeling niya kawawa siya, masmahilig siya sumama sa friends niya pero sasabihin kami ang ayaw sa kanya. Pasensya na ha pero sa tingin ko siya lang kasi ang nagpaparamdam sa sarili niya nun. Karamihan sa inyo ay independent. My sis is independent so I don't know if naging independent siya dahil feel niya neglected siya o independent lang talaga siya. I actually admire her kahit lagi kami nagaaway. I always wanted to be like her.

[TysLolakins]

there are 3 of us girls so there's a true middle child sa amin.  i'm the oldest  kaya i'm just going to share what i've observed growing up with my middle sister.  she's the most friendly and liked most of all the relatives.  she's the pretty one and the nicest too.  she has this ready smile on her face.  she always takes the neutral ground on most things.  and i hate to contradict the majority of the posts here that the middle child is the smartest of the bunch, sa amin, siya ang least.  she's the one who needs to work hard to get excellent grades, kami ni baby sister ang honor students.

i think what they call the middle child syndrome really happens sa elem years and younger.  that's when the need for attention surfaces.   she seemed to be complaining always of hurting her back, her legs, her arms, ganon.  and she was not very active, kinda clumsy in a way.

we're all grown now.  growing up i cannot say who's closest to whom kasi our ages are so spread out (4 between us and 6 between them).  but now, i think the middle and youngest sisters are closer to each other.

one thing i can say about my middle sister that agrees with the sentiments shared here, she's the most reliable to take care of our parents.

[Jihan_Sr]

i am the eldest and i have 2 girl siblings and 2 boy siblings.

the middle child, the one born next to me is the most unpredictable and rebellious one. i know in my heart that she's the smartest but growing up with lots of siblings hindi natin maiiwasan ang divided attention ng parents. mostly, ang attention naka focus sa akin at sa second to the youngest brother ko. yung atensyon na yun ay hindi tlc, mind you. kasi lagi kami pinapagalitan lol.

she drifted apart when we reach college. yung isang brother ko nasa ibang bansa na, yung isang sis ko mag aabroad na rin, ako naman wala na ako sa bahay. ang natira na lang sa house namin is yung bunso at siya. she decided that she's just gonna stay in the house to take care of my parents when they grow old.

hindi siya pasaway mga sis. although medyo kakaiba talaga ang ugali niya, probably its the low self-esteem which made her that way. she just need someone to make her feel that she's needed. i pray for her good blessings and peace of mind always.

[angelzero]

I am 2nd to the eldest. Meron akong ate, tapos 2 younger brothers. Nung gumraduate ng college si ate, nag treat parents ko sa isang posh na Japanese resto somewhere in Manila. Nung gumraduate ng college si Bro#1, they treated him in Racks. Nung grumraduate si bunso, they celebrated in Yakimix. Nung gumraduate ako ng college, i graduated with honors and also delivered the valedictory speech in the ceremonies. Guess where we ate? Chowking.

Since 2 kaming middle child, my brother is assuming the role of the black sheep middle child. ako naman yung invisible middle child. any good deeds or honor i bring to the family parang it's something na dapat naman talaga ginagawa ko, so it's not given such a big deal. pero konting achievement lang ng other siblings ko, it's magnified 10x.

among ourselves naman, parang ako yung pinaka close sa lahat ng magkakapatid. kami ng ate ko super close ever since childhood. yung 2 brothers ko kasi may gap so ang pinaka chummy nila sa magkakapatid ay ako. but they don't treat me like big sister. parang one of them lang ako. which is sometimes good, sometimes bad.

and i would say na ok na rin na ganito. i'm doing things for myself regardless if my parents approve or not. hindi naman sa hindi ako takot sa kanila pero yung mga choices ko sa buhay nagagawa ko kasi under the radar naman ako palagi. both my parents super tutok kay bro#1, while bunso naman ang nakatutok sa kanya ay si tita, na naging 2nd mom na rin nya. ate is abroad and has a family already. ako naman, walang may favorite sa kin so bat ako tututukan? at least nagagawa ko gusto ko. syempre sa mata nila, it's always kalokohan kahit i proved for so many years na maayos naman akong tao.

[nageinna]

hmm, im not the middle child, im the youngest. 3 marias kami. share ko na din observation ko sa second sister ko being the middle child.

yung eldest namin and my second sis, one year lang age gap nila. ako naman 7/8 years gap ko sa kanila. i admit ako yung spoiled sa parents. though not a brat naman. lol. sis#2, nung bata kami, pag nag aaway kami, lagi ko naririnig sakanya, na kesyo ako daw lagi kinakampihan, lagi nalang ako ako ako. i can sense may insecurity rin on her part. but, siya yung pinaka masipag samin. siya yung katulong ng mom ko sa mga household chores. masipag siya even upto now and very maalaga. though i wont say na she's the invisible child, kasi napapansin ko siya yung closest sa heart ng mom ko, but we never experienced unfair treatments naman. siguro hindi lang maiiwasan me being the youngest, and medyo malaki gap ko sakanila, i was being favored most of the time. but agree din ako with our other sissies, im sure sis#2 will be the one to take care of our parents when they get older. nasa nature na niya yung pagiging maalaga and loving to our parents eh. and im closest to sis#2 din.

[EllaBratin]

middle child here! I have an older sister and a younger brother. I remember noong school days, bago ang uniform ni ate kasi first time nilang may estudyanteng anak. Tapos noong ako na, lumang uniform ni ate, hindi pa naman gaanong luma. Noong nag-school na ang bunso namin, bago ulit, kasi hindi naman niya pwedeng sambutin ang uniform ko kasi nga boy siya... 

[angelzero]

^i got hand-me-downs too! but growing up, my sis and i are close. wala kaming rivalry kahit mga tao sa paligid namin kinocompare kami. i hope you and your sis get along too.

[EllaBratin]

^oo naman sis. nagtatawanan na lang kami kapag napapag-usapan namin yun. 

[cyber_princess]

I'm a middle child too. Now ko lang napagtanto,favorite nga pala yung ate ko ng parents ko,tapos spoiled din sa kanila yung bunso namin(male),habang ako,okay lang.hehe! When I was younger, lagi kami nag-aaway ng ate ko, as in lagi kami nagbabangayan. Hahaha  Naging close na lang kami nung nagdalaga na kami. 

Looking back, I'm actually grateful, kasi naging self reliant ako at high achiever because of that. Na-instill sa isip ko na I need to be successful and do well later in life no matter what na hindi dumedepende kahit na kanino.

[cheskacruz]

This thread helps me a lot to understand the dilemmas of middle children. I can say my middle child is the loner type pero sobrang OC, sobrang tapang pero pinaka-maaasahan sa lahat ng mga anak ko.

Above was my last post here way back August 2011. My kids are now ages 8, 4 and 2 - all turning a year older this 2013 and I have noticed the differences, my approaches to them, their weaknesses and strengths and this will forever continue as every approach is new for me.

My eldest son needs attention as he's in Grade 3 and his subjects are getting harder and he needs us to review him. He is always sick as well, he has asthma kasi so pag napawisan or masobrahan din sa sweets or matamis sore-throat, fever plus sipon na agad yan. Kapag napagod, hihikain na. So medyo maingat ako sa kanya. I've noticed that my eldest usually complains like madaling mapagod, doesn't enjoy things na pang-little kids na, he also forgets where he placed his things, misplaces his stuff, often needs someone to guide him and do things for him, minsan mahirap utusan. Still dependent but very resourceful when it comes to his assignments, has self-confidence and gets mad at me and my hubby when his siblings are crying dahil pinagalitan namin. He makes friends easily and is very talkative when he's with his friends. He wants to be included when we decide on things like where to eat, where to go during family bonding. He also knows how to save money na but when a classmate asks him to make libre, madaling hiritan.

My middle son, is the clown of the family and the most siga. When it comes to his lessons, he is nursery so madali pa and palaging 100 ang scores. Included in the top achievers in the class. He talks and thinks like an older kid for his age. He thinks very fast and if he hears something not right, mabilis siyang magreact. Among my kids, siya ang pinaka grabe magwala. Sobra ang tantrums pero when he is in the mood, ang daling utusan. Sinasama ko siya sa grocery, sa mall and kahit buong araw pa kami maglakad, okay lang sa kanya basta pakakainin mo siya and may treat ako sa kanya. Siya ang gusto kong kasama kapag aalis ako to do my errands but he siya ang pinaka-maloko. Siya ang kaaway ng eldest and ng bunso. Pero takot ang eldest at bunso ko sa kanya. Mahilig din siyang mang-asar both sa kuya and sa bunso namin. He is super OC also, kung saan kinuha ang gamit, dapat dun ibabalik. He doesn't forget where he placed his things, kaya minsan kapag hindi ko makita gamit ko, sa kanya pa ako nagtatanong. He loves people but often kahit may mga kids na siyang kasama may times na naglalaro pa rin siya mag-isa. Kahit isang baranggay kalaban niya, when he knows he is right, lumalaban siya. When he doesn't like you, he will tell you. He speaks his mind agad. My eldest naman, hirit palagi nun "Hayaan mo na." When it comes to health naman, my middle has never been hospitalized. When he gets sick 1 day lang, the next day wala na.

My youngest is also sakitin same as my eldest. He also has asthma. Close sila nung middle ko since 2 years lang gap nila. He is the sweetest and the thoughtful of them all but he is the pinaka-sutil. Sa sobrang kulit at pasaway, parang lahat na ng kakulitan binuhos ni Papa Lord eh sinalo niya. The more pagsabihan, lalong ginagawa. Lumalaban sa 2nd and 1st ko. Tapos kapag ginantihan siya, siya pa ang iiyak. Feeling ko, he is in the stage of terrible toddlers so hinahayaan ko lang.

So there, yan pa lang observations ko with my sons. Kaya I make it a point na kapag bumili ng gamit, pare-parehas bago and lahat sila meron para walang inggitan and hindi nila isipin puro hand-me downs lang ang gamit nila. Kapag birthdays too, if 1 had a party, dapat lahat sila may party. If sa house lang, lahat sa house lang. Dati pinagsasabay-sabay ko na lang din kapag big party since their birthdays are August and September lang.

I hope I can equally divide my attention to all of them and I will try to always be fair. 

[imdWOMANwhocntbemove]

middle child here din..!we are four girls naman and 2nd  child ako...marami akong sentiments sa family lalo na sa parents ko..ewan ko kung dahil lang sa middle child syndrome or kung anupaman..share ko lang yung situation ko..

when i was younger, lage kaming nagaaway ng ate ko and siya lagi ang pinapaboran kasi daw bat daw ako lumalaban sa mas nakakatanda sa akin..kapag yung mga mas younger na kapatid ko naman ng nakaaway ko,ako pa rin ang pagagalitan kasi bat ko daw pinapatulan mga mas bata sa akin..

tapos nung time na namrublema ang parents ko sa pera,ang ginawa nila dinala na lang nila ako sa lola at lolo and aunt ko para tita and tito ko na lang daw magpapaaral sa akin. Which is hindi naging magandang experience sa akin kasi yung tita ko ginawa niya akong katulong sa kanila,tapos mas sumasama pa loob ko noon kasi nakikita ko yung mga kapatid ko sa kabilang bahay na maayos ang buhay,buhay bata lang na walang masyadong iniintindi unlike sa akin kulang na lang talaga icompute ng tita ko yung mga kinakain ko sa kanila sa harap ko eh..

i can say na kulang din ako sa pansin noon. siguro kasi pag may achievements ako,invisible ako,wala lang, ordinary day. pero pag may naging flaws ako super big issue na sasabihin nila lage "tignan mo si ate mo,hindi siya kagaya mo...blah blah blah".pero pag yun mga kapatid ko ang nagkaprob ok lang sa kanila,naririnig ko si noon ang momy namin na sinasabi kay ate "ok lang yan,may next time pa naman.." 

sa school, hindi nila ako naging prob. sa aming magkakapatid ako lang ang di pinatutor and ako lang ang nagkakahonor noon..ai hindi pala,yung sumunod sa akin naghohonor din pero just recently nahuli siya ng teacher nila na nagcheat..wala siyang narinig sa parents namin.pinagsabihan lang nila. kinausap ko rin siya and siya rin pala,  may feeling na hindi alam kung saan lulugar.

sa mga gamit natural na hand me down ang mga gamit ko kasi 1 year lang gap namin ni ate..yung sa sumunod sa akin bago na kasi 8 years gap namin, yung bunso namin since fave siya ng lahat kaya bago din kasi maraming nagbibigay..

ate ko ang fave ng momy namin, siguro kasi ate ko pinakamaganda and bratinella, yung sumunod naman sa akin ang fave ng dady namin kasi daw siya yung pinakakamukha ng dady ko, tapos yung bunso namin ang fave ng parents and relatives namin kasi siya raw ang bunso..ako?fave ako ng bf ko..kaya nga maaga akong nagasawa eh..

i became weak nung sobrang dinadamdam ko yung situation ko as mid child kaya napariwara ako..but the good thing is mabait si hubby and ramdam ko na mahal na mahal niya ako..kaya ngayon ok na ako kahit anong gawin ng parents ko..kasi ngayon, ako na ang magulang.. and i hope hindi ko maiparamdam sa mga anak ko yung naiparamdam ng parents ko sa akin noon...

[bpa]

"true" middle child here, we're just 3.

the eldest - the favorite, the first apo, the charming one, spoiled, most loved, most cared for (basta yun ang feeling ko and nakita ko na treatment sa kanya). everything basta humingi ok lahat. kahit may attitude ok lang. parang bulag-bulagan sila sa mali. parang hindi tumanda kase masyado na-spoiled.

me - always feeling on my own. wala kumakausap or pumapansin. loner. if ako may mali, parang ang laki na ng kasalanan ko kahit minor things lang.

youngest - baby of the family, bunso, medyo spoiled kase parati pinagbibigyan. parang ang thinking nila bata pa ren.

[cheskacruz]

Aaaaawww... na-sad naman ako but this thread opened my eyes sa nagiging feelings ng mga middle child. 

[sweetie_marzie]

I cried a bunch while reading all the middle child issues and stuffs. Gash! Super nakakarelate ako  Middle child here too. Saka na ako magshashare ng saken pag di na ako ngccryola. hehe Itaas ang bandera ng mga middle child! hehe

[brattyjen]

I'm a middle child too.  Growing up I couldn't understand bakit ganun treatment ng parents ko sa kin.  Especially my mom.  They call me the "black sheep" before.  I'll give you an example.  When our eldest was about to study college, all out.  Name your school.  She and my youngest brother studied in a high end private high school.  Kami ng sister ko na middle child din (4 kami) were moved to a middle class school near our house.  Kahit anong pakiusap ko na lumipat sa better school, ayaw nila.  When it was my turn to go to college, they kept on saying that I did not deserve a nice school kasi mabubuntis din naman ako.  I felt so bad pero alam ko na future ko nakataya dito.  Imagine, my eldest sister pre-med sa UST, my other sister Assumption and my brother La Salle Greenhills at that time.  Pano naman ako?  I did something para wala silang choice kung hindi i enroll ako sa La Salle.   

Ang ending?  Ako ang pinaka successful sa lahat.  Yes, i got pregnant early.  But it did not stop me from trying to prove something talaga.  So what happened to my siblings?  My eldest sister ang nagbibigay ng head ache sa mom ko ngayon.  No income.  My brother earns more than I do but may money management problem.  Dependent sa mother ko pa rin.  Sakit sa ulo. 

Now that i am older and wiser, I realized na mahirap talagang maging magulang.  Hindi nila na realize na what works for one child will not necessarily work for the other.  And kung hindi ko naman na experience yun siguro hindi rin ako naging ganito ka aggressive sa career ko.  Ang hirap lang, naging madamot ako sa mother ko on the financial aspect.  Hindi naman ako proud dun.  Nasa isip ko kasi may pension naman siya and my single siblings (na super spoiled and favorite niya) should take care of the household expenses kaya I don't have to give.