avoiding being too possesive and obsessive..

[muahmuahmuah]

....and siguro respect his individuality, don't  see him as an object you posses na suddenly you get all excited about dahil new or dahil you own him completely and think na he's at your own disposal and he'd run to your every beck and call.

may sariling life ang mga lalaki and iba ang way of thinking nila kaya they functionfar different from women.  he's not some toy you buy from the store, take home play with the whole day and kaladkad pa outside and play with again..until masira or minsan nasisira na agad sa pagkaover use.  remind yourself who he was before you met him pag nagiging obsessive na ang ugali, and same as with girls who have the tendency, you have your own person to deal with and nurture especially your emotions---thats what ties up everything. iba when he emotionally secures you and iba rin when he's emotionally  insecure and unsecured...generally the rest of the work comes from  both individuals to take and deal with.   complete beings kasi tayo from the start,  men add to what we are not capable of experiencing alone and thats where they complement us as beings, same way with us to them.

[ITSNINA]

grabeh ganitong ganito ako! !
help nagpapanic nako sa nafi-feel ko lately, may tendency pa na umiiyak ako ng todo at super sensitive pag matagal syang umuwi at hindi nag text! kakaresign ko lang sa work kaya i have a lot of idle time, any suggestions sis na pwedeng pampagulo ng time para di ko sya palaging hinahanap, ang masama pa nito we live together (darn!) for a long time. I dont want to ruin our relationship ng dahil lang sa pagiging possesive and obsessive.

[thingamajig]

grabeh ganitong ganito ako! !
help nagpapanic nako sa nafi-feel ko lately, may tendency pa na umiiyak ako ng todo at super sensitive pag matagal syang umuwi at hindi nag text! kakaresign ko lang sa work kaya i have a lot of idle time, any suggestions sis na pwedeng pampagulo ng time para di ko sya palaging hinahanap, ang masama pa nito we live together (darn!) for a long time. I dont want to ruin our relationship ng dahil lang sa pagiging possesive and obsessive.

sis itsnina, hay naku..i could relate. nangyari kasi sa akin, three months akong naging bum (i went abroad then i came back here again), so wala akong ibang pinagkakaabalahan kaya sya ang lagi kong ginugulo. naging sensitive lang ako at kapag di sya nakakatext naiinis na agad ako. what i did was lagi akong nagschedule ng gimik with different sets of friends and i fill up my leisure time with activities that require concentration (ex. playing PSP).

kakastart ko lang magwork yesterday. second day ko pa lang sa work super busy na kaya di ko na sya masyadong naiisip. 

[ITSNINA]

^
Dapat nga talaga mag-work nako ulit' ayoko ng ma-feel yung ganito'
nagiging pathetic nako parang desperate na' nahihiya na nga ko minsan sa
sarili ko nakikiawa ako ng attention niya' naiintindihan ko naman sya na kelagan niya makipag hangout sa friends niya' were still young kaya nasa peak pa yung
exploration niya' taong bahay kasi ako di ako mahilig lumabas'
two days ago nagaway kami kasi gusto nanaman niya pumunta sa friends niya' ayun hindi umuwi until 3am kasi nagtampo daw' grabeh the stress i felt while waiting na umuwi sya' i called and text pero di nagreply' hay ang hirap ng feeling' kahit anung entertainment hindi ko madivert yung attention ko. 

[shopaholic18]

^naku sis mahirap yan, you need to think it through, baka masakal siya sayo. give your trust. hayaan mo siya sa kung anong gusto niya, don't build a world with only the two of you in it. by doing so you're pushing him away.

repost from other thread but i think this gives keypoints here as well, mods if bawal paki delete nalang po.

relationship isn't boring if you keep enough space between the two of you, its all a matter of trust, and you don't need a world with only the two of you in it, it is from there where a lot of lies a alibis are born.

[ITSNINA]

^
mahirap talaga sis, we made a deal nga na uuwi na siya ng maaga' nag-ta-try naman daw siya na  wag ako paghintayin . Pero gusto ko talaga may gawin na about it kasi ayoko din magsawa sa kanya' if i cant work yet' mag eenroll nalang ako ng kahit ano para may new skills na ko may mapaglilibangan pa ko and also i wanna learn how to play piano.
(phew)

[shopaholic18]

sis try to accept nalang kaya or as what ive said meet halfway patas dapat adjustment niyo both, kasi if you don't talk about it now it will just pile up into something much worse.

[17arci]

It's all about self-control, trust, and self-esteem.

[Serena.]

Learn to love yourself. Wag puro sya isipin mo. Magtira ka para sa sarili mo, to prevent obsession, para naman minsan hindi mo sya masyadong nadidiin.

[pinkmallowpie]

good thing i came across this thread. hindi lang pala ako ang ganito sa mundo  i tried going out with friends to keep my mind off him even for just a little while, pero hindi pa rin eh kasi kahit nagkakasayahan na kami mga magkaibigan, lagi pa rin siya pumapasok sa isip ko. i always check my cellphone to see if nagtext siya o tumawag. the situation i'm in right now is really hard. i suffered from insomnia for a time because of this. yun tipong kahit matutulog na lang ako, siya pa rin iniisip ko. hayz!

[pinkplush]

this thread is VEEERRRYY HELLPPFFUULLLL! thanks GT girls!

[dark_phoenix]

Sissies, in the jeep kasi last night merong isang girl na naka labas talaga yung cleavage. My insecurities were kicking in (kasi di kalakihan boobs ko eh) I told him to stop looking pero sabay smile at joke2 na way tapos tatawa nalang kaming dalawa pero deep inside parang I was like dammit.

Does it count to be possesive and obsessive? How do you deal with it pag bf niyo yun?

[pinkberries]

in my past relationships, i never felt possessive and obsessive over someone.  i mean, bahala siya, life is too short to feel miserable.   

but minsan, naisip ko ano kaya ang feeling na ganito? or the feeling to have someone so obsessed to me?  of course, i should be careful what to wish for.  hehe

pero the best way to avoid feeling like this is to also avoid saying :  "I am Yours.  And You are Mine."  Tapos may dagdag pang... "Forever."

avoid acting like Christian Grey and Anna Steele.    


And then you'll be okay.

[iwannabeasupermodel]

ganito rin ako dati. pero it's not healthy. when the relationship ended it was bad. it was very difficult to move on. actually i couldn't move on kasi i've built my world around him.

now i try not to be. i dont know how i did it. maybe i didn't hold onto to people that much? lagi na akong may reservation for myself ngayon. ganon.

[Mommy•Shey]

I'm not possessive and obsessive sa hubby ko. Baliktan kami hahaha! Hindi naman kasi talaga healthy yung ganun, parang mas mangingibabaw kasi ang insecurities kesa sa confidence.

[iwannabeasupermodel]

siguro kaya di na rin ako ganito kasi i'm more confident and independent now.

[hedonista]

Being possesive and obsessive has a limit. I reached mine this year. Napagod alp kakaisip sa kanya kakaobsess sa kanya at sa pagiging possessive ko sa kanya.

I went crazy and made my world revolve around him. Then i got tired of it all. Now i am in the process of learning what i was before he fell in love with me and what made him fall for me. I started doing things i stopped doing when i got obsessed with him. I read i write i do exercise i go to spa alone go to coffee shops by myself, me time. And time for mom and my kid. While still being a good wife.

Youll get over being possesive and obsessive someday. It's good that this early on, you are aware. Awareness is always the first step.

Good luck sis. When idle go to Primp and Prettify thread

[snix]

this is something i'd like to graduate from.. i'm obsessive in a way na laging text niya inaantay ko at kapag hindi siya nagtext nalulungkot ako..

before i met him, my social life was zilch so parang walang pinagbago

slowly, i think i'm beginning to get tired of it too..dati when he goes deinking out with his friends super praning ako at hindi talaga natutulog hanggat hindi siya nagtetext na nakauwi na siya at kelangan inuupdate niya ko lagi.. ngayon pinababayaan ko na lang at tinutugan ko..

tapos umiiyak pako kapag umaalis siya kasama iba mapalalake o babaeng friend ang kasama niya kasi mas gusto ko na ako kasama niya, i got over it narin..

hindi naman ako possessive to the point na bawal na limapit o kimausap sa ibang babae..his workmates are all girls pero wala ako pake..  trust him i that sense..

ang problema ko lang masyado ko obsessed sa kanya but i think just a bit more andd i'll be anle to get over this..sana kasi kahit ako ayoko di ng ganito ko sa kanya

[IronLady]

ako im possessive and praning lang pag feeling ko di na nya ko love, ang mali lang id be constantly relying sa time na iniispent with me. kaya yun, kapag di ako matext ganun na agad naiisip ko. crazy..

[stylishlymessy]

Amen to this thread mga sisters!! very helpful! I'm like this also and it's killing me parang lahat ng energy ko na drain because of this kind of feeling. kaya plan ko now is enroll sa gym take all the classes that I can get (yoga, Pilates, belly dancing etc. ) para marelease ang happy hormones and of course boost up my self esteem.