Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?

[shaney]

hi sisses.. interesting thread coz i can relate also.. im a single mom with a 2 yr old son.. na super kulit na ngaun.. hehe but i met my h2b when my son is still months old.. he called him papa when we were walking the streets that's how we met actually.. hehe and we became friends then after awhile intimate with each other..he also got 2 kids 10 and 2 yrs old din.. hehe even so alang prob sa amin because we love each other talaga.. parang nagkaruon kami ng right connection with each other.. we both love our kids.. and una kong inisip dati if he can accept my son as his own pinakita naman nya na he's sincere with me and my son..and now we were planning to get married this june (different story)..
 before i met him i also felt the same.. if someone will love me and my son etc etc but i always think my son first not a partner to live with.. cya muna bago ang iba kahit now na im getting married i always think of my son..basta always prioritize your kid first before anyone.. maybe un nagustuhan sa akin ni h2b before how i take care of my son.. kasi he met irresponsible mothers din.. hehe
dont think of what other people think of u as long as di sila nagpapalamon sa inyo.. they are the one who puts you down and makes u insecure with yourself..  everyone deserves someone... hindi pa huli ang lahat unless end of the world na... hehe

[kawen]

Kamusta girls? Hay dami ko na absent dito, hindi na kase ako makapag-GT sa office.. Happy for those who already found their true love and for us na waiting pa rin, let's wait a little longer.. Things have been really shaky with my un-Official relationship for a year now.. plan to even stop it because of some personal reasons.. hay ang hirap talaga.. siguro nga I will end up alone.. pero I don't know if I can still learn to love someone (New) or if that someone will love me and accept me in return.. Hayz.. I am still overweight kaya siguro wala pa talaga nagkakagusto sakin, I feel so undesirable lalo na't may PLUS one pa.. ewan ko ba, I need to make a change with myself if I really want to get some attention, hehe.. clock is ticking!

Now, I just want to work really hard and provide for my son's future, and loose weight.. Sometimes, I think of the biological father, who passed away already.. naiisip ko, namimiss ko and sana hoping na nagmeet man lang sila.. I wanted that feeling seeing them together kahit isang beses lang.

[shaney]

@sis kawen sis ndi naman masama kung mataba ka as long as you ca carry yourself with confidence yun naman parati gusto ng mga guys.. sa POV ko lang ha.. kahit naman payat kung walang poise ndi naman din nila pinapansin.. pati ala sa looks yan minsan u have to be witty and fun to be with.. makakahanap ka ng guy that is right for u.. sa totoo lang sabi ni  h2b sa akin.. wala daw sa itsura pagnainlove ang  isang guy..hindi na nila tinitignan yun looks as long as they are happy with your company.. well ako before hesitant ako lalo na sa may belly part ko kasi marami akong stretch marks.. pero he kissed my belly and he told me na wag na mainsecure. he loves me as a whole.. wee kinikilig ako.. hahah wag mawalan ng pag asa.. 

[kawen]

wow... that's really sweet of him sis... congrats pala ha, uy malapit na! hehe...

With this guy naman, si unofficial, sobrang inlove ako dito as in, soulmates nga daw kame, he loves me too that much and accepts my son.. kaso andaming issues sa buhay.. hayz.. he's my ideal guy, nasa kanya na lahat... I am just upset sa mga issues niya, nakakainis ang tanda tanda na namin parang siyang walang sariling plano at direction.. oh well..

I really need to shed off the belly hehe, kase parang hindi nawala yung preggy fats ko.. and I also want to look good and fit into nice clothes, confident naman ako, fun to be with, makulit and good career standing.. 'yun lang I just don't feel na may nagkaka-interest sa akin kase walang nagpaparamdam, ewan ko ba..

thanks sis ha.. emo kase ako ngayon... kaya dito nalang ako ng vent out.

FB status: Sometimes, we play with love. But when the time comes and you finally realize that you want to get serious, love plays with you. Some good things never last but I am thankful & happy it happened.. Signs can tell I deserve better and not just settle for this. A year is enough to test the waters, I'm not walking away from you or what we have... I'm just letting you go because I can't remember why I held on tight for so damn long..

[shaney]

OT na to.. hehe sis kawen POV ko lang ha.. when you met someone kasi lalo na ideal guy mo cya.. you should love him as he is.. lahat naman may flaws i mean u should learn to love his flaws din.. like my h2b sis.. naku he's mayabang in some sort of ways na ikinaiinis ko yun minsan pero ive learned na minahal ko cya ng ganun kaya i have to accept na ganun na nga pag uugali nya.. i told him naman about it kaso di maiwasan. and as ive learned din also it runs in the family.. haha.. but i accepted fact na kasama pala yun sa upbringing nila.. hehe anyways.. as long as you love that person you should be the first one who should understand him..

hehe normal lang mag emo minsan sis.. just to let it out.. hay naku ako din minsan emotera...

[momentum]

well well well, I find myself visiting this thread again! 

How are you all? ako eto parin..

sobrang hirap to move on.
I can recall what the maghuhula told me last december. may three guys daw na lalapit sakin this year - 1 who has a family, 1 is my ex, and 1 who is unattached, mabait, successful sa business at malambing. i asked the manghuhula sino dun ang pinaka-ok, sabi niya dun na raw ako kay single guy..para "new" life na raw ako..

so far ang napansin ko palang na ngyari is that my hubby still wants to get back to me and doesn't want to let go ang hirap is every time nakikipaghiwalay ako, naggugulo siya ng pamilya ko, like sobra siyang maggulo kay mama sa text and kapag di ko na siya tinetext or answer his calls, sinusugod niya ako sa hosue so parang sa ngayon no choice ako, just going with the flow, and sana one day this will end peacefully, feeling ko that will only happen if makahanap na siya ng iba.....

second, here sa new account na trinansfer ako, there is this guy na lahat na ng tao dito sinabihan ako na "patay na patay" daw sakin  matagal na pala na ganun, since I started in the company 6 months ago...BUT...he has a family na..he has a kid and a live-in partner, di pa sila married. I keep on making bara his friends who makes him kanchaw na he already has a wife, they keep on telling me "di pa naman kasal eh!lalakad ko siya !" oh God, please, no thanks...so I guess ito yung sinabi ni maghuhula na attached guy.....sobrang torpe niya as in, kaya niya lang akong kausapin sa chat, hindi sa personal, kahit 2 front seats away lang kami hahaha  sorbang silent and mellow type..


anyway, still haven't felt/saw/meet the "single guy" that was forecasted sakin
actually, lapit na ako mag give up...im just trying to follow the advice of a friend here to just concentrate on our future ni kiddo..which is really true..kaya eto,,puro work and tiis tiis muna,,


 

[shaney]

hi sis momentum.. hindi naman sa nangingialam ako.. why dont you give the father of the child a second chance maybe he's willing to change for the best hindi yung maghihintay ka dahil sinabi ng manghuhula.anyways, siguro naman mahal mo pa yung ex mo kasi still going with the flow ka.. bakit hindi mo na ituloy yung flow na yun.

[momentum]

nako sis, yoko na magpakatanga 
he won't change unless mawala na ako sa buhay niya. and i'm not happy with him.
im not dependent as well sa manghuhula, mejo tumama lang sakin na parang "nagkakatutuo"

[Girltalker2]

Sakin ang answer ko wait until you are ready. Then date. You will know when you are ready. 

Ok, am a single mom as well.  Before we can find true love, we have to make ourselves available at kelangan may lalaking available din di b? 

Dont you find the environment in Manila more prohibitive to look for guys who are unattached (single/annulled/byudo/divorced) and available? Parang walang available kasi, and kadalasan, if over 30yo na, married na - yung iba nagpapanggap na single at yung iba naman sinasabing married at bahala na.

Plus I dont trust men in Manila. For some reason, iniisip ko kasi 70% ng population ng Manila is below poverty line.  Crime rate is high. So if someone just approaches you in public na walang nagpakilala, mataas ang chances that he is a crook.

One time, I had a secret admirer when I was in Manila.  Problem hindi siya nagpakilala, kaya nga secret. Weird. May flowers sa table ko with a note. Duh!?  I am now not based in Manila, medyo careful parin ako, kasi I cannot believe na it's raining men in their 30s/early 40s that are single and unattached here.  Bakit sa Pinas kokonti lang (close to nil) or is it just my mindset? 

Tapos it just dawned on me, when I was in Manila, ang pakilala ko sa sarili ko ay married ako.  Pero once you announce you are single, maybe that's the time guys start to come?  Do you guys announce that you are single and available and looking for the love of your life? 

[Girltalker2]

I am a single mom. I am just worried that someday I'll end up alone raising my baby (since I don't have plans introducing him to his biological father). I am just caught up with this fear that I know I shouldn't worry about... but WHAT IF it happens?

I know the feeling of having someone to spend your life with... being secured that there's someone who will take care of you... love you and all that... *sigh* I just don't know if its going to happen to me someday... *hopeful somehow...*

What to do?

sis Kawen, did you see your first post in this thread?  2 years ago. Wow!  Big difference ano? 

Anyway, I just want to comment... about Pinoy guys.  I think they tend to be close minded.  Siguro nga ayaw nila ng may sabit, kaya 1 out of 10 guys lang ata ang open minded.  There is a tendency for them to shy away from single moms. Moreso, kahit nga hindi mom, kahit hiwalay lang sa asawa, ayaw na nila, ayaw ng parents, etc. etc. 
That's makes it very difficult for us to date again and have a second chance for love.

Yes, still possible, but I'd say the odds are slimmer in the Philippines.  Kasi maraming makitid ang utak.

[shaney]

sis gtalker2 hehe parang sama ng loob mo sa pinoy na lalaki.. hehe

[kawen]

sis Kawen, did you see your first post in this thread?  2 years ago. Wow!  Big difference ano? 

Anyway, I just want to comment... about Pinoy guys.  I think they tend to be close minded.  Siguro nga ayaw nila ng may sabit, kaya 1 out of 10 guys lang ata ang open minded.  There is a tendency for them to shy away from single moms. Moreso, kahit nga hindi mom, kahit hiwalay lang sa asawa, ayaw na nila, ayaw ng parents, etc. etc. 
That's makes it very difficult for us to date again and have a second chance for love.

Yes, still possible, but I'd say the odds are slimmer in the Philippines.  Kasi maraming makitid ang utak.

Hi sis Girltalker2... yeah that post reminded me how miserable I was way back then.. hehe.. Well, things got better with my life, angdaming nangyari for the past 2-3 years.. I am happy now that I am free, pero sad of what happened to the father of my son.. do things really happen for a reason? Well I don't know, like sis momentum siguro if he would still be alive, may mangugulo at mangugulo parin sa buhay ko, it's like I won't have a choice anymore but to be with him.. I don't know if the love is still there, I am sooo afraid of how my life would be again, with him..

So again fate naman works its magic and I am back with the guy who I really hurt so bad 7 years ago, I know I loved him so much and now, it just grows everyday.. We're okay and we'll get there.. I still believe na we will find OUR true love.

Sis momentum, hang in there.. darating din yan, it will be all worth the wait and pain.. hay excited na ako for all of us..

[momentum]

@kawen

hi there girl! i'm glad your happy 

my hubs and i have broken up officially na
it has been 3 weeks since then

I just hope I can finally experience peace of mind and let contentment come to me 

[Gabrielle Andre]

I think I found true love again!!!! Im a single mom ( widowed for 3 years now). I feel like everything is too good to be true. I met this guy, separated for 11years now. He is ready to marry me and my daughter, kulang lang ng pera for the annulment.(From what I understand, the wife is now living abroad with another guy and they haven't seen each other for 10yrs na). I am so ready to move forward with my life. This new guy wants to relocate to my province and start from scratch just to be with me and my daughter. Isa pa yun, he cares for my kid and now that I am in Manila, hindi siya yung tipo ng lalake na gusto pag lumalabas kami eh kaming 2 lang. Gusto niya family affair ang dates namin =)) Problema ko na lang naman ngayon is my family and in laws. Sa side ng family ko, Im scared they will compare this guy to my late husband who para sa kanila eh pwede nang ma canonize as a saint. And sa side ng inlaws ko naman, I don't want to hurt them. They are still family after all, naging perfect inlaws sila and I love them. But I know I also deserve this chance to be happy and to be loved.

[honey-ecclaire]

I think I found true love again!!!! Im a single mom ( widowed for 3 years now). I feel like everything is too good to be true. I met this guy, separated for 11years now. He is ready to marry me and my daughter, kulang lang ng pera for the annulment.(From what I understand, the wife is now living abroad with another guy and they haven't seen each other for 10yrs na). I am so ready to move forward with my life. This new guy wants to relocate to my province and start from scratch just to be with me and my daughter. Isa pa yun, he cares for my kid and now that I am in Manila, hindi siya yung tipo ng lalake na gusto pag lumalabas kami eh kaming 2 lang. Gusto niya family affair ang dates namin =)) Problema ko na lang naman ngayon is my family and in laws. Sa side ng family ko, Im scared they will compare this guy to my late husband who para sa kanila eh pwede nang ma canonize as a saint. And sa side ng inlaws ko naman, I don't want to hurt them. They are still family after all, naging perfect inlaws sila and I love them. But I know I also deserve this chance to be happy and to be loved.

Hi sis Andre,i'm happy na you have time to post here again....Your posts for the past 2-3 yrs are still with me,I mean ginagawa akong inspiration everyday....
I'm happy na you had moved on and yes you deserve to be happy,I know si late hubs mo is very happy for you....

Hi sis Girltalker2... yeah that post reminded me how miserable I was way back then.. hehe.. Well, things got better with my life, angdaming nangyari for the past 2-3 years.. I am happy now that I am free, pero sad of what happened to the father of my son.. do things really happen for a reason? Well I don't know, like sis momentum siguro if he would still be alive, may mangugulo at mangugulo parin sa buhay ko, it's like I won't have a choice anymore but to be with him.. I don't know if the love is still there, I am sooo afraid of how my life would be again, with him..

So again fate naman works its magic and I am back with the guy who I really hurt so bad 7 years ago, I know I loved him so much and now, it just grows everyday.. We're okay and we'll get there.. I still believe na we will find OUR true love.

Sis momentum, hang in there.. darating din yan, it will be all worth the wait and pain.. hay excited na ako for all of us..

Kawen my dear....
How your baby na?....malaki na din noh?!
I'm so happy for you na you finally find the guy for you na,sya ba yung ex mo before?...
So happy for you mare!

[yunhee]

Mga sisses, never lose hope.. everything happens for a reason.. nagkaron tayo ng anak o mga anak sa una kasi they are pre destined to be born and to live in this world.

My first husband and i had 2 children bago kame nag hiwalay. RFS: nag abroad sya at nambabae ng bonggang bongga! Nung nalaman ko and confronted him.. sabi nya HOLD ON daw! muka nya!
Na depressed ako ng sobra at nabasa ko ata ang buong bible para lang hanapin kung anong dasal pwede kong idasal maging okay lang kame ulit. I was only 25 that time.. naisip ko teka parang ang bata ko pa para ma- down ng ganito dahil sa failed marriage ah!

At that time ayaw ko humanap ng iba.. all i want is to be free from the pain that ate me away. It took time bago ako naka move on. Until i found myself loving someone again. We first became friends, we laid all our cards on the table. I was hesitant at first to get into a relationship with him kasi syempre may trauma pa from previous marriage. Would you believe nagkaron pa sya ng ibang gfs habang we are trying to know each other. I was okay with the set up kasi feeling ko at that time, friendship talaga ang kailangan ko. Until finally, he told me na iba daw ako sa mga girls na nakilala nya! Ang haba ng hair ko hahaha!

Sabi nya, nagustuhan nya daw yung confidence ko na kahit alam kong nagka affair pa sya sa ibang girls during the time na friends and getting to know kame, hindi daw nagbago ang pakikitungo ko sa kanya. Sabi nya he wanted that kind of girl na who is so sure of herself at walang insecurities. Kung alam lang nya kung pano ko maloka loka sa first husband ko hehe

Anyway to cut the story short.. ngayon, may 2 na kameng anak and will soon be getting married. Yung 2 teenagers ko, barkada ni h2b nagyon, nakaktuwa ang samahan nila promise.
At yung first husnband ko eh, mamatay matay sa inggit kasi alam nyang SUPER HAPPY ako ngayon, eh siya may gf nga, may asawa namang hapon sa japan Pero sa totoo lang i also pray for him na maging maayos ang buhay nya at maging truly happy sya.

Ang point ko lang mga sisses.. the best revenge is living well talaga.. and pray a lot lot lot!
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give the desires of your heart. 

[pinkk]

A good friend of mine with a two year old kid keeps asking me that question and we, her good friends are trying our best to keep her hopes up!!

[mishyewarians]

for me,yes, just wait. i have lots of friends w/ same case, nakahanap naman sila.just have faith.
pag walang dumating, maybe focus ka na lang sa kid/s.yun ang the best way!

[Girltalker2]

^ and ^^ for me, just be happy.  Don't LOOK for it. Importante you are doing what you should do since may obligation tayo sa mga anak natin.  Then do what you want for yourself. Be responsible. Dadating din iyan if it is meant to be.

[kawen]

Kamusta na kayo mga sis? Have you found true love already?

Updates! Hope to hear from your inspiring stories.. (hopeful)

Me? Eto it's complicated na naman!