Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?

[lovely.iccah]

Mga sis my first time to post here..
i need someone to talk, parang sasabog na ako..

Im 27 years old, im a mother of 2, my eldest is a special child, i got pregnant for some tragic reasons pero since hindi nyo naman ako kilala sasabihin ko na rin..im a rape victim and nagkaron nga ako ng anak then that time super masakit ang mga pangyayari feeling ko na dun na natapos ang buhay ko at parang wala na kong liwanag na nakikita pero kahit ganun ang nangyari pinilit ko siya buhayin dahil wala naman sya kasalanan sa mundo..maraming nangyari..nagalit ako sa mundo and even sa dad ko and mom ko, hindi nila ko pinaniwalaan na ganun ang nangyari, so mas better na itago na lang nila kasi nga lawyer ang dad ko at may pangalan sya..ayaw daw nila na pag piyestahan ang buhay ko..im only 20 years old non at walang magawa kundi ang sumunod na lang sa kanila, till time comes na palaging galit sa akin ang daddy ko and massakit na salita ang sinasabi nya sakin na sinira ko daw ang buhay ko..after 2 years, i met my old friend again and manliligaw ko sya nun college days so nalaman na nya ang lahat ng story, hindi ko talaga sya mahal pero napilitan ako pumayag magpakasal for the sake na may sasalo sa aming mag ina at kahihiyan ng pamilya, alam naman nya na ganun at nag promise ako na gagawin ko ang lahat para ma fall ako sa kanya, nagka anak pa kami ng isa pero after 2 years nagbago siya, na involved sya sa drugs at dumating yung point na sinasaktan na nya ako pero after pala namin maikasal ay naoperahan sya, nagka probs sya sa genitals kaya tinanggal na ang kanyang balls, isang reason din yun kaya sya na upset and nananakit kasi nga hindi na sya maka penetrate kaya daig ko pa palaging nabibiktima..dumating ang point na hindi ko na kinaya dahil madalas na nya ako tinatamaan kaya naghiwalay na kami..isang araw naospital ang panganay ko na anak at nag delikado sa icu, yung panahon na yun ninakaw nila yung bunso ko anak sa bahay so kinailangan ko muna ipriority ang eldest ko dahil buhay ang hinahabol ko..may son has a multiple problems and disorders, so anytime ay pwede na sya bawiin sakin..practicality, mas maganda na ang buhay ng bunso ko doon sa poder nya, reason kung bakit hindi ko na din hinabol ng tuluyan..4 years na kami hiwalay and we already file na for an annulment...and soon to be married na din sya pagkababa ng annulment.

there are times na nafi-feel ko parang mag isa na lang ako at wala ng karapatang lumigaya..
hindi ko alam pano maka get over sa lungkot na nararamdaman ko not because sa nangyari between the two of us kasi nga hindi ko naman talaga sya mahal..

Kundi yung lungkot ko na "i never found someone na magmamahal at tatanggap sa akin, someone na makakasama ko habang buhay"...

[kawen]

Hi sis slickchick... I am not yet sure if I found the one (AND if HE's the one).. kase anything can happen.. ako naman ang ginawa ko is to find THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY... well kung applicable sayo 'to - hanapin mo siya, I thought I'll never find someone who will love me kaya hinananap ko siya kase siya lang talaga ang nagmahal sa akin ng sobra sobra.. and lucky that when I kept in touch with him.. he's single and still available.. and so that's where it all began, pero LDR kame. I'm happy na he accepts and loves my son and is proud of me all this years.

Sis tama ka.. men this days are really conservative and would prefer single women (ayaw ko ng masyadong drama sa family, yung sasabihin ng iba sa guy na "gusto mo yan.. eh na-anakan na.." - masakit, it really happens people say that behind your back... I was scared to love someone new kase I feel hindi nila ako ma-accept and my son, baka mas lalo pa  masaktan yung anak ko, so I really didn't bother to take care of myself (yung nagpapaganda, nag-aayos, lose the extra pounds I gained when I was pregnant)... I believe kase na if a guy likes you, he will accept and love you for what you are.. kaya hindi na ako masyado nag-effort.. UNTIL NOW.. May isang (NEW) guy sa office na finds me attractive (kaso nga ang taba taba ko na, na-conscious tuloy ako), so we end up being teased and he usually makes a move na tipong may something, pa sweet (pero wala, ayaw ko mg-assume), or sinasakyan niya lang yung biro.. BUT he has a gf... aw.. - I'm torn hehe, may dumating na naman na gumugulo sa buhay ko.. 

Sooo.. pumasok na ngayon sa isip ko na WHAT IF nga he really liked me (actually they are working to hook us up, kase anything can happen daw - I'm just letting things be..), he knows may anak ako.. BUT I don't know if it's okay with him.. I am afraid of rejection so I really wanted to ignore him kase baka ma-fall na ako.. kase he has the qualities I look for more than kay THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY.. so 'yon now, I started to change myself, kase I am getting really overweight, nag-eexercise na ako - diet, so I can look and feel good.. para ma-gain back ang confidence ko. I am just enjoying the feeling and attention of this new guy.. but my heart is still with him.

I agree with sis prettylalaine.

Can a single mom ever find true love? the answer is yes. been a witness to a lot of this. and mind you, karamihan sa mga friends kong ganito mga single guys pa 'yung nakakatuluyan. so go lang, single mommies. i guess just be yourself and be truthful. if love is meant to be, it will come your way.

Yun sis.. if napabayaan mo na sarili mo all this years, maybe it's time you make a change.. Let's admit it, physical attraction is important kaya kailangan mag extra effort, magpa-ganda, take care of yourself.. work hard sa career (men like successful women too) and next is our personality - It is the face (and body) that attracts but personality that captures the heart... the one will come when you least expect it, and when that time comes.. you'll be ready to open your heart again.

[k_heart]

^^Hi sis Lovely_iccah, nalungkot naman ako sa story mo, pero just hold on and always pray. Bata ka pa sis, im sure, the rigjt guy is just there somewhere pero kung ang destiny mo ay maging single, be happy pa rin sis kasi you have kids already. Marami din dito sa GT, na gusto magkaanak pero unfortunately marami ang hirap sa kanila to conceive. Look at it as one of ypur blessings, hindi lahat nagiging mommy! Just always pray sis, keep yourself busy and love your kids.
GT is a support system, kahit di tayo magkaka kilala, we can always pray for you, support you and cheer you on! : )
^ Go, go sis Kawen! : )

I have a friend, she has 2 kids from 2 different guys but now, she has found her true love, a very dashing foreigner, they have a 6-month old baby already and ready to tie the knot anytime soon.
The guy's family has welcomed her with open arms! : )

[kawen]

Hi sis lovely.iccah, tama si sis k_heart, we are here to listen... maraming kwento ang mga buhay natin, may masaya, malungkot, may swerte and kung ano man pinagdaanan natin God will help us go through it.. we just have to believe that someday things will get better for us.. Our kids are our support system and at the end of the day, we always have them to be grateful for.. sila ang magmamahal sa atin. Don't feel that nag-iisa ka, you need to be stronger for yourself and kids, and alam ko kaya mo yan.. don't give up, I know mahirap pinagdaanan mo.. (HUGS) Basta, someday everything will be better.. believe in that and have faith.

I'll still keep this thread up for all of us, until we all find the one... hehe..

[slickchick]

^ thanks po sa replies sis amethyst028 and sis kawen. siguro, after 5 years of being a single mom, nagiging skeptical na lang din ako about finding The One. but i will take your suggestions on improving myself. at least, i'll be doing it for myself and my son. 

[michandesu]

Hi Kawen!
My brother and I were raised by a single mom. babies palang kame ng naghiwalay sila ng real dad ko. After nun she married my step dad and I know despite them being separated now, they did love each other, just that it didn't work out. Pero my mom didn't give up on Love entirely. So what if nagfail ang relationship mo sa isang lalaki, you can't generalize na lahat ng relationships ay mauuwi sa ganun. Madami ka makikilala na tatanggapin ka kung sino ka, na they won't mind if you're a mom na. If that guy really loves you, he would be HAPPY to be a father for your child. Don't close off all your doors kasi one day magsisisi ka din "why did I let him slip through my fingers?" and you'd keep asking yourself "what ifs"

I told you my mom didn't give up on love, and look, she's happily married again. She's 42 years old but that doesn't stop anyone from falling in love. Love is a blessing sis

[fabjayme]

I soo love this topic..very inspiring mga stories
im 27 yrs old..single mother of a very charming little boy..no regrets
for me i do believe that we can still find that someone who will love us and who love our child too. maybe it's not yet the right time..i know god will give us more than what we deserve..
he just wanted us to be a wonderful mother first before we could be a loving wife...
PROUD TO BE A SINGLE MOTHER 

[momentum]

puwede bang buhayin itong thread? 

I'm technically a single mom ever since I left my husband 1yr and 8months ago with our daughter coz I reached the edge na ng pagaabuse niya sakin. I changed for him, ran away from home and rebelled against my mom to be with him, even married him because that is the only way my mom would accept the both of us when I got pregnant. oh well, that was a mistake.

ever since I left their house (i used to live with him and his parents), I tried so hard to get a new job and earn for me and my daughter. I had to leave my former job dahil sa mag ginawa siyang di maganda. I am ever since living with my mom narin, to date. madami na akong pinagdaanan with him kahit hiwalay na kami physically - my mom is a witness to that, sometimes inaaway ko pa nga si mama para mapagbigyan uli si hubby

but now, sa dami ko nang pinagdaanan na heartaches,verbal, emotional and psychological abuse sa kanya (nawala lang yung physical simula nung umalis ako dun) im reaching the edge narin and the drive to fight for this marriage. btw, we've been together for almost 3yrs na ata, ever since i ran away from home. ayoko ng ituloy this thing we're trying to fix, kasi hindi na talaga maiayos. i've changed because of him, parang naging katulad ko na siya, na makitid utak, etc etc, Ayoko maging kagaya niya and I don't want our daughter to grow up seeing us fighting all the time. Kaya I never made an effort to go back to him or look for a place for us. mahirap ng wala ng tiwala sa isa't isa.

Sa former work ko last year, I had a girl officemate na parehas kaming vegetarian. we started to be friends. then she knew yung background ko (marriage). then one day, she wanted to make reto her kuya sakin, kasi gusto niyang maghiwalay na sila ng fomer gf niya, kasi daw masama ugali. ako naman, i didn't take her seriously, kahit na ba magaling siya magsales-talk sakin about her kuya.  then nung naghiwalay na sila ng gf ng kuya niya, ayun, lalong kinukulit ako ni girl to have a date with him kahit kasama pa siya.  dyahe naman ako, kasi naman hindi pa ako nagkakamove on kay hubby at hinaharass pa ako, and i was still thinking baka maiayos pa namin. pero, i tried to give it a try dun sa kuya - just 1 date and with my officemate pa na chaperon!  we just went to a resto kwento kweto then uwi na before dumilim  kasi mejo guilty pa ako sa ginagawa ko kasi nga im a "married" woman.

BTW, i was 26 then (2010) and her brother was 32yo and he knows exactly na married ako and i have a daughter and i guess kinuwento din ni officemate yung nagyayari sakin. he said it didn't matter to him. my officemate said sobrang bait daw ng kuya niya na yun, malas lang sa lovelife, parang ako daw lol and he is so responsible daw na he lives in a condo and that he still pays for their house bills ni officemate and dad niya. basta super bait daw and generous and malambing, kaya daw gusto ni officemate mapunta ako sa kanya kasi daw she feels bagay kami and hindi daw niya ako irereto sa kuya niya kung bad shot siya, knowing what I have been through, she's my friend daw..aww na touch ako 

after na nun, hindi na nasundan. i left that company na and lost touch with that officemate of mine. pero just this January 2012, nakontak ko uli si officemate. 27yo na ako and her kuya is 33yo na. he would still ask about me daw  kahit 1 brief time lang kami nagkita and he already expressed that time sa sis niya na he wants to get to know me more - ako lang talaga hesitant kasi takot pa ako. pero this time, kahit crumbling na talaga and im picking up the pieces of my marriage and accepting it one day at a time na hindi na talaga ito magwowork, pumasok uli si "kuya" sa eksena. habang i was texting my former officemate, biglang nagtext brother niya sakin. syempre, kagagawan ni former officemate yun  then after mga 1 1/2 weeks of just texting the two of them, just the other day I was able to see him again, for the 2nd time  it was Chinese new year. I was in Megamall and he just happend to text me and asked if I wanted to have lunch with him kasi he didn't have work and that he knew I was in Megamall. ako naman, sige, kasi i want to broaden narin world ko kasi lumiit talaga mundo ko ever since I got married, wala akong gaanong friends. friendship muna hanap ko sa ngayon. knowing pinapagawa pa niya car niya, nageffort talaga siya na magcommute pa from his condo in wack wack para lang maka-lunch ako  and according to his sis pinaka hatest mall daw niya ang megamall and tamad na tamad daw magtaxi yun hehe kaya sabi niya if hindi naman daw siya interested sa isang girl hindi niya yun gagawin. mababaw pero may effort. kitang kita ko pawis na pawis when we saw each other. and hinatid pa ako sa sakayan ng bus until makasakay ako. grabe, kinikilig ako pero i don't want to expect. eto pa, dito sa bago kong work, sobrang lapit lang pala sa condo niya. as in everyday umaabang pala siya ng taxi sa harap ng building namin. natuwa naman siya 

sa ngayon, puro general textes lang kami everyday, like good morning, how are you? pero hindi ako ang nagiinitiate  I do not want to sound desperate and in need of a partner kasi hindi naman talaga ako naghahanap pa. wala pa siyang sinasabi sakin about his intentions. buti nalang kasi takot pa ako. eto pa nakakatuwa, si officemate kinukwento na pala ako sa dad nila! and his dad is excited nga daw na malaman na nagkita kami that day. hay ano ba yan.

ayoko magexpect mga sis. masaya na ako sa ngayong kung male friendship lang mapunta sakin. kasi i want to be self-empowered, ayoko umasa sa guy sa pag-alaga samin ni kiddo. I want to be independent and a strong woman, kasi sobra talaga akong nashattered sa married life experience ko  hindi pa ako tinitigilan ng hubby ko sa pagtetext ng masasakit. nakabili na akong bagong sim, sana i find the courage na to turn my back completely to that chapter na wala ng looking back. kasi diba sometimes we can't help but look back? parang it's a "hard habit to break". matagal na kaming di na ngkikita ni hubby, ayoko narin kasi na. tsaka parang hindi pa ata ready mama ko na makita ako with someone new or getting to know someone. conservative kasi and single mom narin siya ever since 6 months ako (ako bunso)

so mga sis, like what sis Aquacharly said, no one else can love and take care of us but ourselves.
and we have to strive to build ourselves up and make ourselves successful moms and not rely on anybody but God. like what I try to live by : NO EXPECTATIONS = NO FRUSTRATIONS 

Take care to all
sorry napahaba hehe

[chin66ay]

Can a single mom ever find true love? yes mga sis. Dreams do come true!



I was 19 when I got pregnant. Yung sperm donor  ay isang pabaya at immature na tao na walang ginawa kundi sumama sa barkada at mangarera. eventually, naghiwalay kami when my daughter turned 5. oks lang, honestly, nabunutan ako ng tinik. he was abusive, possessive and mababa tingin sa akin.

When I got my independence back, i was desperately looking for love. nagserial dating ako mga sis! literal! masarap pala ang feeling ng wala kang pinagpapaalaman, wala kang ginagastusan, wala kang kinakatakutan. That went on for 5 years. Eventually sumuko na ako, napagod.

i was lost. tumigil ako sa paghahanap. and there, kung kailan di hinahanap, dumating ang night in shining armor ko (hubby ko na)... he showed me na di ako dapat mahiya na may anak ako, pinakilala niya ako sa parents at mga kaibigan niya, proud siya sa akin at bilib siya sa talents ko, appreciate niya how strong i am, tinanggap niya ang 12 year old daughter ko (sa tagal ng paghahanap ko, syempre tumanda na), kahit stretchmarks ko mga sis di siya napangitan. ganun lang talaga, just believe mga sis!

lahat ng mga friends ko umiyak sa wedding ko. napatunayan kasi nilang dreams do come true! you can read my blog pero di na siya updated.inggalumbera.blogspot.com

mga sis, dami kong friends na single mom who have found true love. magugulat kayo kasi SINGLE men ang mga ito. responsible, successful, god fearing, mayaman. and alam niyo ba mga sis, yung mga dati kong na-date o nakafling, they confessed to me (when they learned na ikakasal ako) na ok sana ako KAYA LANG... pero sorry na lang sila kasi they didn't take the chance. di nila alam kung ano nawala sa kanila!!!

good luck sa inyong lahat mga sis!!! susubaybayan ko mga kwento niyo!

[chirochan]

pajoin mga sis


ako mga sis naging single mom at the age of 19, nastuck kasi ako sa wrong guy who took advantage of me,naging kami ng ex ko ng 13 palang ako but he was not my first madami muna nagdaan dahil naligaw kasi ako ng landas dahil sa maraming dahilan, nasa abroad daddy ko, ang mommy ko maraming bisyo maraming lalaki lulong din sa casino suportado pa ng lola ko ang paghingi ng pera kay daddy para sa bisyo naglalaro din kasi sila ng casino etc. pinagkatiwala ako ni mommy dun sa ex ko kaya nastuck ako sakanya hanggang sa magkaanak kami ng 18 ako, itong guy niloloko ako kahit na magkasama kami lagi, muka din pera sa allowance ko umaasa kahit ako nagbabayad ng lahat pinagkakasya ko lahat ng expenses sa maliit na pera, dahil walang trabaho sakin din galing mga damit at gamit niya, kapal niya noh ? hanggang sa nauntog ako after a year hiniwalayan ko talaga everything went perfect simula nanganak ako medyo lumaki monthly allowance ko kaya kampante ako na mabubuhay ko ang anak ko at siya lang ang kailangan ko.

after 1 or 2 days lang ata nakachat ko tong guy na nangungulit sakin since 16 ako the jerkest of all the jerk, puro barkada, chick boy at madaming bisyo kaya ayoko sakanya at lagi ko iniiwasa pero kapag may problem ako nun sinasabi ko sakanya kapag nagkakausap kami at sakanya ko din unang sinabi na buntis ako, weird noh ayaw kosakanya pero nagoopen ako, i can't even remember his face that time di kasi interesado talaga sakanya before, pero ng nagkausap kami tuloy tuloy na halos 24/7 for a month yun, bihira na din siya magdota at lumabas para bumarkada, then 1 day after namin magswimming ininsist niya na magpunta sa bahay kahit alam niyang may sunburn ako haha ! ng nagkita kami we both felt the spark and kilig mahal na niya agad yun anak ko nun at naging kami that day, ang weird ko talaga ! lagi kami lumalabas kasi ayaw sakanya ng family ko at lagi pinapupunta ang ex ko sa bahay ganun din family niya sa ex niya kasi 7 yrs. din sila kaya ayoko muna pakisamahan family niya, minsan sinasama namin si baby pero ng wala ng yaya naglive-in na kami agad 4mos. ata kami nun ayaw kasi naman pabayaan si baby, we've been through many ups and downs and kami pa din until now may 5mos. old baby boy na din kami and a happy family.


sorry po medyo mahaba, mga sis the right guy will come in the right time no need to rush
ako nga sa dami ng pinagdaanan ko na traumatic which hindi ko nalang sasabihin eh nakahanap ng guy na magpapawi ng sakit at tutulungan akong bumangon sa pagkakadapa ko, sabi nga namin dalawa siguro kaya hindi naging kami or nagkita a couple of years because hindi pa right time dahil hindi pa kami nagbabago, i lost so many things like my family, my mom, our house and 2 cars na binenta ni mommy dahil sa bisyo niya pero God gave me the most priceless thing ever yun ang daddy, 2 sons at husband to be ko =)




goodl uck sisters more power to us !

[momentum]

wow nakakainspire naman your stories sis chin66ay and chirochan.
sa ngayon, focus muna ko sa work, Love can wait naman siguro?  although syempre nakaklungkot din sobra

lalo na if you see your phone tapos walang ngtetext 
when i feel down when I'm out sa house, GT yung nagdidivert ng attention ko
when I feel lonely naman at home, i just play with my daughter and instant nawawala, ginaganahan ako to think of my goals for the both of us. Yesterday nga I made a list of things to do for 2012, sana maachieve ko siya. I also open up to my dad through email kasi siya lang ang male friend ko sa ngayon. Kakalungkot na nawala lahat ng friends mo dahil sa husband and now that wala na kayo, wala parin gaanong friends  sometimes rin kasi diba we need to "refresh" ourselves, hangout with friends and go window shopping or whatever even by ourselves para we have some "me time"

hay buhay

[freelancer_babe]

Nice mga sisses who have found love. Sa akin bonus na lang talaga kung magiging successful pa ako sa love life. I seem to end up in places where there are indeed, a lot of men, but no one is just interested in me.

Ako nasa mid-30s na ako. I became a single mom at 21. I didn't marry the father of my kid and I have rejected his marriage proposal. I do not really like him. At that time, I was confused and depressed because I broke up with a guy that I really really like, at sabihin na natin na naging panakip butas ko ang guy na yun just to forget the pain of the getting hurt.

After being a single mom, I had a few serious admirers. One actually wanted to build a life with me, but I decided not to. Another one just fell out of love with me.

My job and profession puts me in workplaces where men dominate the workplace. Sadly, the single men just do not have eyes on me (and most of them they are younger than me). The ones who are about my age are already taken. Mas type ko pa naman ang ka-age ko, men who are older than me for a few years or mature-thinking younger guys.

I feel that those younger guys are just after girls na walang excess baggage. Iba pa rin kasi pag pinakikilala sa magulang na "malinis" ang babae.

If ever I get into a serious relationship with a guy, I worry a lot about how he will introduce me to his parents. I am a parent myself already, and it could be shocking news. Even if there are a lot of single parents already, it's just too different pa rin if a girl is "clean".

Sometimes I'm thinking of looking love across the oceans - that is, meet a foreigner. Mas open-minded kasi sila than many of the guys I meet here.

I broke my heart just too many times just finding love. I guess I am not successful at that aspect of life. I was once like other here, who hoped, prayed, and got inspired by single moms who finally managed to settle down with the right guy, but I stopped hoping and I focused my energies on other aspects of my life. Tumatanda na rin ako and in just 5 years nasa 40s na ako. I'm slowly trying to accept the fact that I might grow old without someone to love at my side, other than my kid - who will eventually grow to be a young adult, find love and settle with a family rin. I still do not have plans on what to do after seeing an empty nest in my home, but one thing is sure - I intend to earn enough money to make life a little less boring. Much better than the living the life of a penniless old woman without a man at her side, or even friends who are settled and busy with their own families and kids.

I also had my share of married men who just wanted me not for my love, but for lust (they love their family anyway). Nakakainis sila because they are just too lustful at feeling nila walang mawawala sa akin. Mas marami pa naman ang mga ganun than serious un-attached men. I just pretty much hate them, as they are liars and cheaters (and their poor wives don't even have a clue on what they are doing when they are not around).

Well, whether I like it or not kailangan ko lang tanggapin that I might end up being single for the rest of my life. I'm too busy with my kid rin kasi. I'm busy with work and I started not to like night gimmicks. I'm even a work at home mom, which further lessens my chances of meeting guys. Picky pa naman ako, I'm not much into meeting guys in some online dating site. Baka wala na ngang mangyari sa love life ko. I'm always haunted with the fact that I always seem to end up being hurt and lost again.

But there are other things that I would rather focus on and be successful/maintain success - career and family. So far, so good. Tama na yung love life na lang ang magfail na lang, wag nang idamay pa ang iba.

[momentum]

sis chin66ay, just started to ready your blog. aww  kakalungkot nga mga pinagdaanan mo before.
but now I'm so happy for you na in the end, everything fell into place and you found the best person for you! 

[freelancer_babe]

^don't lose hope sis. may dadating just when you least expect it. ako rin i have my own business and there is no way for me to meet men kasi puro mga babae clients ko. home body rin ako kasi most of my friends married na so no way for me to go on gimiks anymore. 

I'm not losing any hope sis. May katiting pa naman, pero it's not really like before that I like to hope a lot, na may darating, and unexpectedly at probably of all places like what you've described. Bonus na lang talaga kung meron, but if wala, I'm still grateful for the opportunity to experience falling in love so many times before and to find happiness in raising a kid.

I'm nearing my 40s na and this is the age where I start to face the reality that I might not even find any. It's not always true that one could just get off to the sunset with their lover hand in hand, sometimes you have to dare to walk alone, bravely. The small steps walking alone to the sunset isn't really that bad experience after all.

Staying unmarried for almost two decades isn't a bad thing, I finally realized. For almost all the time, I'm ready to love and commit, but love has always eluded me.

I'm not saying all other sisses here should stop hoping. But don't just set your expectations too much. Magtira pa rin kayo, but do not expect a lot. Being single might be a calling after all. If you realize that it hits you on the head (like I do), then be prepared for it - just like that one when love comes knocking softly at your door when it finally comes.

Such is life.

It's not such a bad thing not to have someone to love. Learn to appreciate the happiness and blessing of staying single. Marriage is not also everything - we heard a few tales of people who want to stay out of it and are happier away from their husbands.

At least I do better at other aspects in life. I'm contented with that. There are many others who are in a worse situation than I do. I've learned to appreciate the good things that come my way, and focus less of my energies on those unfortunate things that happen to me.

[momentum]

oh yes, correct, marriage is not the answer.
never jump too fast.
like what they say " when in doubt, DON'T"
look at me now, i'm technically married, but i am alone
such a big mistake. i had so many doubts that day, but still I did it.
hay, regrets. now, it'll cost a lot of money to be free again. 
pero priorities first - and that is, my daughter and building a better life for her and myself

[slickchick]

i can relate to sis freelancer_babe. i've only been a single mom for the past 5 (going 6) years, but i've come to terms with the reality that some single moms are destined to stay single - and i could probably be one of them. of course it is nice to hope for a fairy-tale ending, but on my end, i don't want to wait for it. i'm not pessimistic, and once in awhile i still dream about meeting and being with the right guy for me (i.e. sorry but the term my "true love" is devoted to my son..  ). it's just that i don't want to expect too much rin. less expectations, less disappointments. 

siguro nga it comes with age.  i'm in my 30's now. when i was younger (when my son was only about 1-2 years old), i was still dreaming that the right guy will come soon. now my son is almost 6 years old, and i have savored the "best of both worlds" (i.e. fulfillment of being a mom plus the freedom and benefits that comes with being single), finding/meeting the right guy is just an add-on but not really a requirement to have a happy and fulfilled life.

i also work in a male-dominated industry and company, so i get to interact with more guys. in my case, it's both an asset and a liability. asset because the chances of meeting more guys are better. however, it's also a liability because i already have an idea how they think and act. alam ko na mga kalokohan nila (both single and married guys) and kung paano sila mag-isip. one of my male buddies in the office once joked, "wag ka masyado sumama sa amin, kahit guy pa rin ang preference mo, baka maging utak-lalake ka na rin kung mag-isip at dumiskarte when in comes to relationships.. ". 

having been in some failed relationships before, and knowing how most guys think, perhaps i have raised the bar when it comes to Mr Right. tawagin na akong pihikan, maarte or choosy, but i think being a single mom should not limit my choice in guys. on the contrary, mas mataas pa dapat ang expectations ko kasi i'm choosing not only for myself but also for my son. 

similar to sis freelancer_babe, i am very much aware of the fact that i might grow old alone (but definitely NOT lonely). right now, i'm preparing for it by saving enough para hindi rin naman ako makabigat sa anak ko when he's working na. may mga plans na rin ako for my career, business, travel, and even home life. i have relatives and friends who have been happily-married once but are now on the road to separation at mas depressed sila. i also have friends who have chosen to be single and yet they are happy, so i know being single is not a dark path. nasa kamay natin yan on how will we view and manage the situation. 

[freelancer_babe]

^ Wow @slickchick, you've written your thoughts better than I have.

Same na same tayo ng situation. Glad to meet you here. Cheers!

[FoxyPhoenix]

Can we single moms maybe bond some time? Or ilabas mga kids natin?

[chirochan]

^ count me in, i would love to meet you sisters

[sakura_bloom]

^Sis Slickchick, that was indeed very well expressed. This may be a bit off topic, but can elaborate on how single and married guys think? Papaano dumiskarte ang mga lalaki that made you raise the bar for someone who truly deserves you? I'm interested to know, and believe that it would help girls like me, who are naive in these things. Kung off-topic na sis, maybe you can post it in another thread or if you can please privately message me your what you've learned and discovered kung papaano dumiskarte ang mga lalaki.

Salamat.