Author Topic: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?  (Read 108186 times)

slickchick

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #200 on: March 21, 2011, 01:44:14 pm »
thanks sa feedback and sa encouragement sis ysabelle and prettyehmjay!  :)  siguro nakakairita lang yung ganung comments kasi nga sa mismong relatives ko pa galing. nakakainis din kasi hindi naman ako bata/estudyante nung naging preggy ako. i was 28 that time.. jusme!! anyhooo, i agree with you mga sis, siguro nga kaya sila ganun maka-react kasi hindi sa sariling mga anak nila nangyari. oh well.. hindi ko na lang papatulan, out of respect dahil mas nakakatanda sila. bahala na lang sa kanila si God...  :)

ysa.belle

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #201 on: March 21, 2011, 02:09:19 pm »
^wag mo nalang sila papansinin. may inggit ang mga gayan na tao kase kahit na nagkababy ka agad eh okay ka pa rin ngayon... alam mo naman ang mga ibang people, gusto nila sila lang ang angat...

kawen

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #202 on: March 23, 2011, 05:37:17 am »
napa-isip din ako dito.. ano kaya ang sinasabi ng relatives ko about my situation, lalo na dun sa mga hindi mo talaga ka-close.. mabuti na wala pa naman ako naririnig.. well ganun talaga sguro ang mga taong walang magawa sa buhay.. tama talaga ang sinabi ni sis ysa.. :)

sis slickchick welcome to the club.. I'm sure may darating din para sa atin na tatanggapin tayo kahit na may anak na tayo.. basta we should really work hard to support our kids and ipakita sa kanila na kaya natin diba?

kamusta ang mga love life natin??? hehe..
« Last Edit: March 28, 2011, 04:27:25 pm by kawen »

kawen

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #203 on: March 28, 2011, 04:29:04 pm »
house? what do you mean? hehe sensya na hindi ko ma-gets.. do you mean a place for single moms to talk dito sa forum? a thread?

slickchick

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #204 on: March 29, 2011, 09:36:59 am »
pajoin po ako dito.. naglilibot ako sa mga related s single mom.. naloloka n kasi ako s ngyari s akin.. although 32 n ako still di matured enough ang isip ko n tanggapin ang ngyari s akin..

natawa naman ako sa comment mo sis.. hehe.. i'm 33 sis. got pregnant when i was about 28. siguro mga after a year bago nag-sink in sa akin na may responsibility na talaga ako to my son. but despite of the responsibility, i try to find time for myself. yung "ME" time lang. para hindi ako madaling ma-burnout sa pagiging nanay (if there's such a thing as nabi-burnout sa pagiging nanay.. teehee!). the "ME" time helped me adjust to my additional role in my life.  :)


sis slickchick welcome to the club.. I'm sure may darating din para sa atin na tatanggapin tayo kahit na may anak na tayo.. basta we should really work hard to support our kids and ipakita sa kanila na kaya natin diba?

kamusta ang mga love life natin??? hehe..

thanks sa pag welcome sis kawen! i'm still hoping na may darating na kaya kami tanggapin ng anak ko. hindi rin naman sya (The One) lugi sa amin, kasi hindi ko naman ilalagay sa kanya yung full responsibility sa pagpapalaki ng anak ko. personally kasi, i think that's one thing that's holding back guys from liking single moms like us - yung thinking nila na iaasa natin sa kanila yung responsibility na palakihin at pag-aralin yung mga anak natin. hindi nila naiisip na may mga single moms din naman na may sariling career na may capacity na mag-support sa mga anak nila.  ;)


kawen

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #205 on: March 29, 2011, 08:05:24 pm »
sis yung House for single parent n thread hehe... sory sis masyado ko n shorthcut ang question ko... kasi 30 pages n sya and wala n akong nakikitang reply button... dito b s GT uso [textspeak!] may meet ups? parang gutso ko ng group for sharing san kaya ako pede mag join...

sis, yeah nakita ko din yung thread na yun before and minsan nag EB sila.. pero kase kame dito we usually talk here in this thread I created, some seek advice, kwentu-kwentuhan, kamustahan lang kame dito.. you're welcome here.. pero kase hindi kame nag e-EB..

yup sis slick tama ka jan, independent women naman tayo, I'm sure successful na rin sa kanya-kanya nating career at nasusuport natin anak natin.. I am worried though na paglumaki na mga anak natin, walang tumatayong ama sa kanila, maganda din kase may father-figure sa bahay.. I have an article to share, eye opener for us parents, medyo mahaba pero you'll understand what I mean.

*What You Should Never Forget *

I remember this day like it was yesterday.
This happened a couple of years ago.
I went home excited, mentally planning our Father-Son trip to the mall.
(Each week, I try to have a date with my boys. Sometimes together. Sometimes separately. That day, I was going to have a date with my eldest boy, Bene.)

But as I arrived home and stepped down of my car, my phone rang.
“Bo, are you already at the wedding?” my friend asked me.
“Huh? What wedding?” I asked.
“The wedding of Amina…”
Wham! It was like I was hit by a bat on the head. I totally forgot about the wedding!
How can I now tell Bene?
The little guy was so looking forward to our date.
When I entered the house, I greeted him and said, “I’ve got a problem about our date …” I told him about the wedding.
 
That was when my wife said, “Son, can you go with Daddy to the
wedding? That’ll be your date.” (Thank God for my wise wife.)
A few minutes later, my son and I were riding the car in our matching barong tagalogs.

It turned out that we were early for the wedding, so we walked to a coffee shop beside the church, and talked and laughed together as he ate his favorite cinnamon roll.
The wedding was superb!

It was also a wonderful time for me to give mini-lectures to my little pupil—in whispers at the back pew—on marriage, family, and love.

After the wedding, the reception was at the exclusive /Polo Club./
While waiting for the dinner to begin, we had a phenomenal time sitting down on the grass (yes, still in our /barongs/) under the canopy of stars—and chatted the night away.

“I don’t want to be a cowboy anymore, Daddy,” he said. “No more?”
This was a shock to me. It had been his declared dream ever since he was two. In fact, his first word wasn’t “mama”. It was “horse.” (I’m not kidding.)

He piped up, “I don’t want to be a Cowboy anymore. I just want to ride horses for pleasure.”
“Okay. What do you want to be?”
“A businessman.” (Six-year old kids have a way of declaring their dreams as though it’s as sure as the planet is round. I wonder what age we lose that confidence?)

“That’s great. You can own a ranch. How many horses do you want to own?”
“About ten,” he grinned. “How will you earn to maintain the ranch?” I asked.
“Kids can ride my horses for P20 each…”
“Uh…, isn’t that a bit too cheap?”
“They can also feed my rabbits if they pay something. And I’ll sell my customers snacks and have a restaurant in my ranch.”
“That’s fantastic.”
“My ranch will also have an imaginary forest.”
“A what?”
“An imaginary forest. Parents will be afraid if their kids go to a real forest with real animals. So I’ll make an imaginary forest with robotic animals—even some legendary creatures like dinosaurs,
unicorns, mermaids,...”
“Mermaids?”
“Yes, because there’ll be a lake in my ranch. With a shipwreck.
Kids can also visit the shipwreck.”

After planning for his future, we got our plates and stood in front of the buffet table for the entire evening. Because the food was so fabulous, we didn’t bother to sit down. That night, he ate seven
sticks of barbecue and I gobbled up 50% of the European cheeses there.

In other words, my date with Bene was a ball.
If I didn’t have a weekly date with him, how will I know about his dreams? I would have missed hearing that he didn’t want to be a Cowboy anymore, that he wanted an imaginary forest, robotic animals, a lake and a shipwreck for kids to visit and have fun… I was even more convinced of my family goals when I read the frightening statistics from David Perdew about “fatherless kids”.

According to statistics, children from a fatherless home are:
• Five times more likely to commit suicide
• Thirty-two times more likely to run away
• Twenty times more likely to have behavioral disorders
• Fourteen times more likely to commit rape (this applies to boys)
• Nine times more likely to drop out of high school
• Ten times more likely to abuse chemical substances
• Nine times more likely to end up in a charitable institution
• Twenty times more likely to end up in prison for a long period of time

Fathers—and mothers—your kids need you. David Perdew says we either pay now or pay later.
And when you pay later, it always costs more. I suggest you pay now.


Have a fantastic 2011—especially with your family.

May your dreams come true,
Bo Sanchez

kawen

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #206 on: March 31, 2011, 01:00:41 am »
Oo naman sis, meron yan, siguro sa ngayon get a hold of yourself muna, focus on supporting your baby, wag mo munang isipin na kailangan mo ng ka-partner. At some point of my life after ako nanganak siguro mga 8-10 months, na-depressed ako (postpartum depression), that made me ask this question: "Makakahanap pa kaya ako ng magmamahal sakin, will I find true love despite my situation?.."

Sad naman, ang tatay mismo nag-abandon sa sarili niyang anak.. Ako naman, I left him because yung father is irresponsible, I have a job, nakaya ko e-support ang anak ko, my parents supported me and I promised my father na hindi ko na babalikan ang ama ng baby ko, 'cause he knows what I've gone through (I was maltreated, hurt emotionally and physically, disrespected).. so yun.. up to now I live up to it but I secretly meet up with him a year after pero the feelings were no longer there and he showed me that he's willing to start over again, he had a freelance job, good paying job.. pero too late na.

Somehow ako natatakot sa time na tanongin ako ng anak ko about his father, ano sasabihin ko kase ako nga nang-iwan sa tatay niya.. mahirap.. hindi ko pa alam ang isasagot ko, hope when that time comes I'll be ready. I don't know if ipapakilala ko kase he really wants to meet him, he had his chance last year but he didn't come (sad), I'm just hesitant and scared.

cuteyabby

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #207 on: March 31, 2011, 04:40:18 pm »
of course. i would like to share my experience.

im a single mom of 2 sons coz my hubby passed away 6 years na. and i met my bf/partner mga 2 years ago na. sobrang bait nya and maasikaso. he really really loves me. but i took him for granted. nakipag-break ako sa kanya after 2 months na pagiging steady namin. the tricky one here is i found out na buntis ako. hindi ko sinabi sa kanya. sinabi ko iba yung tatay. but 1 week before i gave birth, sinabi ko sa kanya. we had a beautiful son. plano ko talaga na sabihin sa kanya and at least ma-visit nya. and ganun nga ginawa nya. sya din sumagot ng binyag ng baby namin pero hindi ko pa rin sya pinapansin kahit nagpapahaging ulit sya. sabi ko friends lang talaga tingin ko sa kanya. but then may nagbago sa kin. tingin ko na-fall na ako sa kanya. hindi dahil sa baby namin kundi dahil sa pinakita nya sa 2 kids ko pa. then i learned na may kinasama sya but hindi nya mahal. at first nasaktan ako but then naisip ko wala na naman sila, hiniwalayan na nya nung nagiging maayos na kami. i listened to his explanations very well. and tinanggap ko lahat. that i think nangibabaw ang LOVE ko sa kanya. and from then on, we stayed together, not living together, but kami na ulit dahil mahal ko na sya. natatawa na nga lang kami sa mga pinagdaanan namin. we're planning ahead na din with the guidance of our Lord syempre.

i found my true love... and i know hindi nagbago yung love nya sa kin since na maging kami 2 years ago... :)

chryztyn

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #208 on: April 01, 2011, 12:05:42 am »
I am 29 years old and a single mom of a 5-year old boy!
Hindi kami hiwalay (in terms of relationship, but in terms of location, yes, he's in abroad) ng father ng anak ko.  But I'm still preparing for the worst.  Bakit ko sinasabing single mom ako? Kase mag-isa akong nagpapalaki sa anak namin.  I'm a working mom, walang yaya, so bitbit ko anak namin sa office araw-araw, maghahatid-sundo sa school, mag-aasikaso, magmamaintain ng bahay... at lahat ng ginagawa ng isang ina... ng mag-isa... so ano pa silbi ng tatay nya? financial? kaya ko naman buhayin anak ko mag-isa... pero one thing na hinde ko mabibigay sa kanya is yung pagmamahal ng isang ama... i don't want to deprive him from that love... a child deserves a family... kahit minsan, naiisip ko, ano naibibigay sa akin ng tatay ng anak ko? (sakit sa ulo yun eh, sakit pa sa puso, haha!) sexlife na lang ata! hahaha... pero yung makita ko na masaya ang anak ko at ang ama nya, heaven para sa akin yun... yung tipong gusto ko na lang itigil ang pag-ikot ng mundo... ;D may mga pagkakataon na gusto ko na rin bumitaw, pero yung pagmamahal ko sa anak ko, hinde ko yun ipagsasa-alang-alang... i know how much my son loves his dad and his dad loves my son... i can say, i'm ready to lose him anytime... i'm always ready to be a single mom... but finding another guy? why? to complete myself? to give my son a complete family? someday, he will have his own... o para may sexlife ulit? haha! hinde ako natatakot mag-isa, dahil hinde naman ako mag-iisa... mahal ko ang anak ko, at alam ko pag laki nya, hinde nya ako iiwan.. :) sya naman ang papasan sa akin pag hinde ko na kayang maglakad, gaya ng pagpasan ko sa kanya pag napapagod na sya... ;)

paulina19

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #209 on: April 03, 2011, 03:37:32 am »
Hi sis chryztyn..kung may like button dito nilike ko na hehehhe...pareho tayo ng opinion for now.But still hoping pa rin ako someday may dumating na paa sa kin...to share some thoughts sa tabi ng dagat pag tanda ko...

taleebin

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #210 on: April 03, 2011, 01:07:16 pm »
oh! this thread caught my attention. ive been asking that question to myself lately. I dunno, men cant sometimes take a package deal.  :'(

pillows14gurl

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #211 on: April 05, 2011, 11:24:34 am »
pajoin ako.... this post caught my attention...

Im a single mom to my 4 y/o son but i never bothered to ask that question. Nahiwalay ako sa ex ko year 2007... 11mos lang kmi nagsama kase after giving birth i decided to live separately with him kase he is soooooo tamad (tamad magwork pero masipag maglaba, magluto magplantsa) in other words house-husband ang gusto nya maging set-up, kaso naman ako un nagttrabaho para sa amin plus un kapatid nya na may-asawa at anak na 3 (at walang trabaho din) at first okay lang sa akin, pero nung tumagal at malapit na ako manganak, nasabi ko na lang sa sarili ko, mas maigi pa na maging single mom ako kesa naman buhayin ko silang lahat, un gagastusin ko sa kanila eh ipanggagastos ko na lang sa magiging anak ko.. so there after giving birth, nagkaron ng gulo (i was almost killed dahil tinutukan ako ng baril nun kase humihingi ng money, eh wala pa sweldo) so ayun tuluyan na ako umalis ng bahay.

After the split-up, i never experience emotional breakdown, kase ang focus ko nasa newborn baby ko, i worked so hard, nakalimutan ko na kailangan ko din nga pala ng someone to make me happy, kaya lang napupunan na ng anak ko un lahat ng happiness na kailangan ko at lahat ng sadness eh napapalitan ng happiness everytime na kasama ko ang anak ko.... So totally nawala na sa isip ko na magBF pa or makipag date... until one day, may nakausap akong client (sa call center ako) it was just a simple technical troubleshooting issue, then he left me an email address, eh since not interested nga i forgot the email address... so he emailed me one day.. then i replied... 3 days after we exchanged emails, he sent me a copy of documents from their embassy that the properties he owned from where he lives were named after me and my son, it is a transfer of deed hehe) i was so shocked and the first question i asked him is "are you dying?" and he said "no".  (di pa nya ako nakikita even sa webcam that time)... hahahaha... he told me, i was mesmerized with your voice etc etc and i can feelt it in my heart that you deserve something better in your life (eeee parang nanliligaw na ewan di ba) nagkita kmi first time sa skype webcam na gulo gulo ang hair ko as in bagong gising, wahahah syempre dahil foreigner sabi nya maganda ako... the next day, nagexert naman ako ng effort, nagparebond ako,naglagay ng konting make-up blah blah, nung makita ako sabi nya muka daw ako haggard (lols).. two weeks of chatting, he went here in the Phils, hindi pa kami, gusto nya lang magkita kmi personally. we both dont know that we were wearing same color of shirt when we met at the airport, thats the time na alam ko na siguro eto na un second love na hindi ko inaasahan. so he proposed sa airport with lots of people around us professing his undying love... (nahihiya ako sa airport promise pinagtitinginan kami ng tao) kasi he never courted me sa skype or even sa text. tapos bigla magpopropose... doon ako natakot kase alam mo un feeling na baka maulit un dating pagkakamali. pero nakipagsapalaran pa din ako. unlike most of foreigner-filipina na nagkikita at may nangyayari na agad, sa amin wala, he said na we will get to know each other at hihintayin nya na makapagadjust ako at pumayag na magpakasal sa kanya bago pa may mangyari sa amin (nagbasa daw kase sya sa internet na conservative ang filipinas lols) ...until now we are happy and contented, we have baby on the way.. I decided to live here in Phils instead of going to their country,mas masaya ako [textspeak!] sa pinas at okay lang naman sa kanya. saka give-up ko na din un call center job ko at nagfocus na ako isang work ko as pharmacist (kase double job ako nung single mom pa ako). kaso since malapit na ako manganak, di na ako [textspeak!] work, binilhan nya ako ng house, pinatayuan ng business at binilhan nya house un parents ko. he is a genuine person and he loves my family and he calls my son as his true-blooded son. :)

sori ang haba.... pero ang lesson is... you dont have to wait, it will come to you naturally in most unexpected time... :)

slickchick

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #212 on: April 05, 2011, 03:06:43 pm »
^ very nice and very inspiring story.  :) sana other single moms (like me) would end up having the same fate as yours.  goodluck sis sa inyo ng hubby mo.   :)

pillows14gurl

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #213 on: April 05, 2011, 05:20:36 pm »
^ very nice and very inspiring story.  :) sana other single moms (like me) would end up having the same fate as yours.  goodluck sis sa inyo ng hubby mo.   :)

Thanks sis ^^slickchick... :)

i know other single moms out there will have their own blessings in due time... wag lang maiinip :) dadating din yan :)

kawen

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #214 on: April 06, 2011, 02:03:49 am »
^sis congrats I am happy for you.. inspiring story, nakakatuwa :)...

Yes. I believe that in time it will come and we should really be patient enough to wait. Right now, I am trying to just take each day at a time without thinking of that minsan naiisip ko nalulungkot so I get busy lang sa work and with my baby..

paulina19

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #215 on: April 06, 2011, 07:47:39 am »
Sis pillow14 kakatuwa naman story mo. What nationality nga pala nya? Same here...may nameet akong german guy sa palawan..but we are still friend up to this time for two years na. I can feel it na sya narina in the future pero di naman nag popropose eh. As in parang fiendship yata ang gusto sa kin. But after ko sya ma meet sa Palawan..sumunod sya sa Manila..dinalaw pa ko sa bank wher i am working. And we always go out..until one day may ngyari..but he didnt stop the communication kahit na umuwi na sya ng Germany. Every xmas nag ses nd ng gifts sa mga kids ko.  And ng binagyo tayo ng Ondoy sa Phils..nag sned pa sila ng money. Supportive pero di ko alam kung saan papunta coz sabi nga nya di pa rin sya financially stable but one day daw he will come to see me in Manila....Haaaayyyy hoping! :) But for now...busy muna ako sa mga kids ko and sa sarili ko para makaipon ng pangbusiness.  Balittaan ulit...

m i k m i k

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #216 on: April 07, 2011, 12:01:29 am »
Tagal ko di nagpost dito! :) kamusta na mga moms?

cuteyabby

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #217 on: April 12, 2011, 04:34:20 pm »
sori ang haba.... pero ang lesson is... you dont have to wait, it will come to you naturally in most unexpected time... :)

ok lang sis. that's what i believe din. it will it you naturally...

"God opens millions of flowers w/o forcing the buds. It reminds us not to force anything, for things happen perfectly in time!" -fave quote ko ngaun! :D

kawen

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #218 on: April 16, 2011, 02:27:19 am »
hello sis mikmik welcome back!

Hay mabuti naman some of us already found the one.

Sa ngayon, masaya naman ako, I'm so thankful for everything the past couple of days.. This year started really slow for me but as I focused on work last month (March), hindi ko na masyado nararamdaman ang pagiging depressed..kase I felt so inspired to work on my passion and enjoy what I do.

This month (April), so many things has happened.. and I just can't explain how happy I am. :) 

Gabrielle Andre

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Re: Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?
« Reply #219 on: April 16, 2011, 05:20:39 am »
widow ako with a 4 year old daughter... pwede ba ako dito? :D

sis kawen, hello!!! nag back ako sa post mo about yung statistics thing about children who grow up in fatherless homes, and mahirap nga talaga magpalaki ng anak na walang tatay ano.

In my case I sometimes feel like don't wanna get married again, feeling ko it would be unfair to the guy kasi he will always be compared to my late hubby who was a "saint". Sabi ko nga, I'm a buy one take two deal, kasi aside from me, he would have to deal with my daughter and the ghost of my husband...i just don't know if meron pang lalake who would want me. I don't want to grow old alone, and I want my daughter to have a father figure, to grow up in a complete family. I just pray na sana merong darating sa buhay ko who would love my daughter the way my late husband would have wanted it. Sana may ganung lalake pa na kayang tumanggap na hindi pwedeng mapalitan si late husband sa buhay namin.

 

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