Can a single mom ever find true love? What to do? WAIT / DATE?

[kawen]

I am a single mom. I am just worried that someday I'll end up alone raising my baby (since I don't have plans introducing him to his biological father). I am just caught up with this fear that I know I shouldn't worry about... but WHAT IF it happens?

I know the feeling of having someone to spend your life with... being secured that there's someone who will take care of you... love you and all that... *sigh* I just don't know if its going to happen to me someday... *hopeful somehow...*

What to do? 

[FoxyPhoenix]

hi kawen that was also my question 3 years ago.

i'm a single mom and incommunicado with the biological father. a month after giving birth i started a new life. i worked in a new company, met new friends, etc.. then i met this guy at work, who eventually courted me. i was sort of a 'man-hater' during that time (of course after what my kid's biological father did to me). i would say i gave this 'manliligaw' a hard time courting me. but to cut the story short, i end up accepting him he's by the way a single dad with 2 kids.

their anullment is still on the process, but her ex is doing everything to speed up the anullment process kasi papakasal na siya sa new bf niya.

2 years na kami and altho i love him so much and i also feel that he loves me the same (and don't forget the kids, we both treat all the kids as our own), it's still too early to say that i have found my true love. pero siyempre i want him to be that 'one' na

sis kawen, i also don't want to end up raising my kid alone. all i ever wanted in my life is not a succesful career nor to be rich and all, but a complete family with lots of kids ;p sis, just keep on praying to God. i know He won't let you down especially He gave you an angel to take care. feel free to pm me for anything :p

[aquacharly]

KAWEN, do not look for someone who will take care of you. 
The only person you can depend on for  your and your baby's welfare is yourself.  I am sure you had very good reasons for shutting the biological father out of your life... so there, nobody, other than yourself, can make it happen for you.

Do not rush into anything,  coz rushing generally leads to mistakes/regrets.   T'is said:  Good things come to those who wait.   
So there,  just take each day as it comes... and use the strength you now have from knowing yourself better --  which you gained from your experiences to-date.   

Be discriminating, don't just date.

good luck.  God bless.

[kawen]

Thank you...

I am not currently dating anyone. I feel that no one will ever date me especially when they know I already have a son. I'm a bit sad, depressed - feeling ko postpartum depression 'to. My son is not with me, he's in the province mag 5-months na siya - I only get to see him twice a month. I am working here in Manila.

Maybe I am just sad because until now the biological father keeps on bothering me kase ako din ang nag initiate but I did shut him off for 6 months, ngayon lang ulit kame nag usap and now... he's giving me empty promises na someday daw he'll fight for us pag okay na ang buhay niya. I don't want to wait for him, I want him to leave us alone - disappear and never bother us. My fear is that my son growing up without a father...

Hayz...

[senorita_wia]

I have been asking the same question. i am a single mom of 2 girls. i never married.it was a choice the father of my kids and i made.he was my college bf.because of differences we parted ways.we are ok naman.
meron ba talagang makakatanggap ng ganun na situation without prejudice?
i am ok being single right now actually, im happy with my 2 girls.
i wont be a hypocrite,pero iba p din ang my partner ka sa lahat.

[honey-ecclaire]

hello mga sis,..

don't lose hope..there is someone right for each of us.i'm afraid to be a
Single mom din few months ago, got pregnant and decided to raised my son alone.there’s someone who wanted to court me but I refuse them because I love my son’s father. We’ve been separated for a year and  months.there were a lot of things to be fixed during those times. But we are together right now and I can’t explain the happiness im feeling. Im complete

Sis there’s someone out there who holds the key to our heart.just try to be patient.dont rushed things. Just put it all to God..

God bless!

[LoSiNGGRiP]

Hi sis, you are not alone.. we are in the same boat. I shut him off because of the fact na may asawa syang tao, though unstable relationship nila ng wife nya because of infedility (both party)I decided to stayed away kahit na alam ko na mahal na mahal nya ako.his wife didn't know about me.I gave birth at nairaos ko on my own.I thought I will be fine but there are really times na nahihirapan ako, i need somebody who will be with me sa pagpapalaki sa kanya. just when our baby turned 9 months, the biological father called me up..told me that his wife left him for other man, acted so strange few months ago and disppear last christmas and new year.he said he gave his best to make their relationship work but things didnt work out fine afterall.i know he did,i asked him to before i gave up on us.now,we are working on us.hopefully,di ako magkamali sa magiging decission ko.my baby needs him or somebody like him.mas masarap pa rin pala talaga pag sya ang tinatawag na papa,i can feel he is happy.

[honey-ecclaire]

Insert Quote
Hi sis, you are not alone.. we are in the same boat. I shut him off because of the fact na may asawa syang tao, though unstable relationship nila ng wife nya because of infedility (both party)I decided to stayed away kahit na alam ko na mahal na mahal nya ako.his wife didn't know about me.I gave birth at nairaos ko on my own.I thought I will be fine but there are really times na nahihirapan ako, i need somebody who will be with me sa pagpapalaki sa kanya. just when our baby turned 9 months, the biological father called me up..told me that his wife left him for other man, acted so strange few months ago and disppear last christmas and new year.he said he gave his best to make their relationship work but things didnt work out fine afterall.i know he did,i asked him to before i gave up on us.now,we are working on us.hopefully,di ako magkamali sa magiging decission ko.my baby needs him or somebody like him.mas masarap pa rin pala talaga pag sya ang tinatawag na papa,i can feel he is happy.


Hi sis,Im living with him right now.I got pregnant before he got marry..those days were so sad but then i keep holding dahil sa baby namin. ilove him so much!to the extend na hindi ko sya pinigilan magpakasal. basta alam ko ako ang mahal nya at mahal na mahal nya..at hindi ako nagkamali ako ang pinili nya,were living together for two months now.and it feels good kahit napakaliit na bagay napapangiti nya ako..titigan ko [textspeak!] silang mag-ama..im contented!im in heaven!

sis losinggrip dont they have a child together?

[jobelle1984]

we're on the same tract sis...i'm married and have 2 daughter...i was so young when i get married and 7 years later na feetl ko na super hindi na talaga ako masaya and my husband doesn't make anything na mag kaayos kami..so naghiwalay kami to cut the story short..

 now i had bf which is kaoffice mate ko din..at first alam ko na may gf siya pero umuwi daw s province after 2 months he confess me na buntis daw gf niya and they're planning to get married,,super nasaktan talaga ako,,now he told me na sana daw hindi ko sya ili let go and kami pa rin kahit anong mangyari...naisip ko tuloy dahil ba sa may anak na ko kala niya papayag na lang akong ganun ang set up namin??!pero super mahal ko na siya...

[honey-ecclaire]

Sis pakakasalan nya ba yung gf nya?does the gf knew na may something sa inyo?.
Hindi mo sya ile-let go?bakit ano bang standing nyo?wala nab a silang relasyaon nung gf nya kaya ipinapa-hold on ka nya?

Mga lalaki nga naman!

[rys]

i'm a single mom, with a 5 year old boy .

YES, I did find my true love .  Kasama ko siya matulog ngayon.  Kakanuod niya lang cartoons kanina sa living room at favorite niya si Katy Perry ngayon.

Bukas hahanap ako summer school/summer camp para sa kanya.


Hindi ako naniniwala na I need someone to take care of me, IMHO lang. 
 

Because I take good care of myself, my family, my friends....


 Siguro instead of asking na "may tatanggap pa ba sa akin?"  (nagka-phase din akong ganyan)-  mas maganda sigurong tanong ay-tatanggapin ba ako ng anak ko?


If people see na maalaga kayo sa sarili niyo, sa anak niyo at sa ibang tao sa paligid niyo- I guess,  by the law of attraction, love will find you!



Cheers!

[aquacharly]

RHYS is sooo correct, IMO.  Nothing beats the security of being able to fend for one's self.

As for those who have doubts if their kid is missing out on something important because the father isn't around (or the mother decides to not have the biological father in their lives) -- yes, perhaps. 
BUT an absentee father is not a marker for an unhappy life, puede pa yan lampasan.
A good mother who shows strength and love, IMO, is better than an uncommitted father +  a tense mother or a dysfunctional family.

   

[gilenn]

I have a friend and she used to be a single mom pero 2 years ago she got married. Her daughter was already 4 yo when she got married. I went to the reception of her wedding, they only had civil wedding at the time, she was very thankful to her husband kase he accepted her kahit may anak na siya. I think she deserves to be happy. Matagal din yun before she found the right guy.

Your priority should be your child. You can wait for the right guy but do not look for it. If you don't get married you have your child and I think that's enough to make you happy din.

[honey-ecclaire]

Having your child is like having the things that you needed to be happy and completely!..
Yes,there were time that you may step back and thin that you need someone to be by your side but then when you look around and take a glance to your child you would say to yourself.I already found what i am looking for and he's beside me.

to have someone who will accept you and love your child more than he love you is just a gift from above for taking crae of yourself and your little angel..

kaya cheer up na mare,..
one day you will surprise it will be more than what you can think of and wished for...

muah!
pray hard for the sake of you and your baby

[tboupt27]

both. date as many as you want. and wait until the right one comes. malalaman mo naman kapag siya na e. 

[lovemeagain30]

IMO, ang pinakamahirap harapin eh ang mga tanong ng ibang tao about you being a single mother. i think most single moms will agree on this.. hirap di ba? answering their questions why your child doesnt have a father around or why the relationship didnt work. some people will go as far as making a joke about you having a child of of wedlock!

minsan kahit sa sarili mo itatanong mo din bakit napasok mo ang ganitong klaseng buhay. no regrets in having a child. they are our blessings pero mahirap harapin sa sarili na may nag failed sayo at eto dalagang ina ka na. yung self esteem mo bilang babae eh naapektuhan. added pressure pa na buhayin ang anak mo financially.


lahat ng yan nadadaanan ng single mothers in the early stage of their life being a SOLO parent. hanggat maari nga we wish na sana my lalake out there na mahalin parin tayo despite of having kid/s. we even wish we dont stay permanently in this kind of situation at sana tumigil narin ang ibang tao katatanong tungkol sa buhay natin!

pero eto lang yun, people will not stop asking about you and the father of your kid. Your child will grow up facing the same consequence.

this is a phase we have to go through and there's no way we can escape it but rather accept the situation whole heartedly.

may magmamahal pa ba satin na matinong lalake bilang single mother? i have that question right after i gave birth to my son. its something that bothers me before. kasi parang men will look down on me already kasi may anak nako.

pero eto lang ang sagot ko diyan, MERON pero HINDI natin sure kung darating sila sa buhay natin. i just enjoy what i have now and accept what life can give me. hindi naman lahat ng kumpletong pamilya ay MASAYA.

there was a time my ex bf pinagpalit ako sa dalaga kasi nga naman binata cya. nabuntis nya eto. masaya ba cya sa family life nya ngayon? i dont think so!hehe. patas na kami ngayon na parent na rin. so he understands how difficult to raise a child. does he still look down on me? aminin nya or hindi mas stronger woman ako kesa sa napangasawa nya!hah!

i have bf right now. single and take note, 1st gf nya ko! his family doesnt want me kasi nga i have son (that's another sotry). however he sticks on me. ewan ko kung ano nakita nya sakin but i think its more of my son thats why he loved me that much. madalas sinasabi ko sakanya ang hirap ng pagkakaron ng instant family. sabi nya he understands it and i hope he really do. he's mentioning about marriage but i just replied him with a smile. ayokong maging asuming noh!

thankful ako at dumating ang bf ko sa latter part ng buhay ko. but i dont think i would be thankful to him for accepting me kahit may anak ako. mukha lang ako kawawa nun and besides wala naman pumilit sakanya makipagrelasyon sakin! he should be the one thankful kasi its 2 people (me and my son) who accepted him. i told him about it. hehe!

kaya ganyan ang sasabihin ko sa mga single mothers, take it easy and enjoy being a mom first. ALSO never make a man feel you owe him a lot for loving you and your child. baka kasi in the end, isumbat lang nya un sayo kapag nag asawa na kayo.

[honey-ecclaire]

I definitely agree sis love me again..
very well said..
im happy for you sis!


mas may edge ka nga sa ibang girls eh,kase guys and other people see how strong you are raising alone you child..

kaya if someone loves you its not really because of awa, it's because of you being strong and brave to stood up after all the storms come your way. love yourself first mommies!so that when that person comes he will love you more than you do.

[too_blind]

Im also a single mom. a proud mom!
i daughter just graduate with award. im now single no comunication with her dad. but i never regret the decision that i made na maging single mom. coz i know im now a better person without her dad.

My boyfriend and i Just broke up. though it hurts but i always think that god will find someone better for me. im happy being single i have all the time for my daughte lots of mom and daughter bonding! and i commit myself for her forever.


but i never think na single ako. co'z i still have my family friends and myself who loves me soooooo much. always makes me smile and make me feel special. i love them all and i cant afford losing them...


for all single mom out there. you are not alone. never thing negative meron jang para satin. ndi palang siguro time para ma meet natin sila kasi pineprepare pa ni lord tayo at sya para pag na meet na natin sila eh ok natayo pare pareho!!!


always love our babies let them be our first priority!!!

[honey-ecclaire]

Im also a single mom. a proud mom!
i daughter just graduate with award. im now single no comunication with her dad. but i never regret the decision that i made na maging single mom. coz i know im now a better person without her dad.

My boyfriend and i Just broke up. though it hurts but i always think that god will find someone better for me. im happy being single i have all the time for my daughte lots of mom and daughter bonding! and i commit myself for her forever.


but i never think na single ako. co'z i still have my family friends and myself who loves me soooooo much. always makes me smile and make me feel special. i love them all and i cant afford losing them...


for all single mom out there. you are not alone. never thing negative meron jang para satin. ndi palang siguro time para ma meet natin sila kasi pineprepare pa ni lord tayo at sya para pag na meet na natin sila eh ok natayo pare pareho!!!


always love our babies let them be our first priority!!!

I definitely agree sis.I used to be a single mom for few months.been seperated for my son's dad because of so many reasons but it's my decision first day ko palang nalaman na magiging mommy na ako.naisip ko kaagad na ako lang ang magiging parent nya..but i'm not alone i have my family.walang mahirap na moment for me kase they are on my side to support me..

and i love them so much!my son's father and me got together for two months now and happily living with our son..

focus on our child.we might be surprised na nandyan na pala ang binigay ni God for us.

I love single mom!
I'm very proud of us!

[LoSiNGGRiP]

Hi sis,Im living with him right now.I got pregnant before he got marry..those days were so sad but then i keep holding dahil sa baby namin. ilove him so much!to the extend na hindi ko sya pinigilan magpakasal. basta alam ko ako ang mahal nya at mahal na mahal nya..at hindi ako nagkamali ako ang pinili nya,were living together for two months now.and it feels good kahit napakaliit na bagay napapangiti nya ako..titigan ko [textspeak!] silang mag-ama..im contented!im in heaven!

sis losinggrip dont they have a child together?

hi sis,ngayon ko lang nabasa eto..
actually,may baby sila 3 years old.he left pinas to work overseas when the baby was months old pa lang at nang bumalik sya 3yo na ang bata.while he was away,his wife had affairs with 2 men at napatunayan naman eto ng mga friends at family around and at the same time the wife confirmed it too when she was confronted. during that point of his life,i was there.. he entered my life and fell in love with each other. i got pregnant na wala sa plano.but still when i knew that i was preggy i told him to settle everything with his wife first before deciding to stay with me, but the wife asked for forgiveness and with the help of his in laws he forgave her and gave their relationship a chance. i understand kasi alam ko naman lugar ko. 1 year kami di nagcontact.during those days i didn't date but i have suitors, exes returned. di ko na inisip pang we will be together soon, panahon nalang bahala sa amin. but all along pala his wife didnt change,palainom,gimikera,pala barkada pa rin. 1 month after the holiday surprisingly he callled me and told me that his wife left and that he spent christmas,new year and his birthdaywith his family nalang.and just recently after 4 months na umalis ang wife nya, he told me that his wife just called and told him that she is pregnant sa ibang lalaki,3 months on the go.eto kami ngayon ulit.i gave us a chance,di man kami nagkikita kasi malayo kami sa isat isa,ramdam na ramdam ko pa rin presence nya.parents ko nalang prob namin,sis.they know nothing about his biography kasi pareho kaming nasa abroad nun ng magkakilala kami.im a bit scared pero willing ko syang ipaglaban if needed.how about you?how u made it?ang saya naman u are together na now..