A Cool-off is a prelude to a Break up

[carla27]

for me, kaartehan lang ang cool-off's. ofcourse kapag ayaw mo na, umayaw ka na talaga. wag na yung hintay hintay. sa huli kawawa ka lang eh.

girls ask for a cool-off so they'll have time to think.

guys ask for a cool-off when they want to try being alone or being with someone else and if didn't work out, they'd go back to the girl waiting for them.

it's stupid. the concept is both cruel and pointless. i dunno with other people but personally, i don't do cool-offs. if a person wants to be alone or to find him/herself... do it without making someone else wait if ever you feel like coming back.

*hope i didn't offend anyone. opinion ko lang naman toh.*

I agree with this. I used to asked for space for me to think. But feeling ko its pointless it would lead to break up.Girls need space to think but in reality I just want to try if I can be myself without him, andyan na ang girl friends bar, social drinking, meeting guys (common friends) etc..,

while the guy is having fun of his life syempre emo drinking with his friends who'll dare his ego..

so when 2 of you finally got back with each other mas complicated na lalo ang situation.

[southchick]

It's a yes for me, too..

People want space because they're starting to have doubts.. and doubting is never good when it comes to relationships.

[roxykarlo]

yep.. 95% will lead to break-up

[juwie]

Pano kapag nakikipag cool-off yung guy kasi alam nya na nahihirapan ka na dahil LDR kayo. And wala sha magawa about it ngayon. Ano take nyo dun? 

[weirdzz]

Pano kapag nakikipag cool-off yung guy kasi alam nya na nahihirapan ka na dahil LDR kayo. And wala sha magawa about it ngayon. Ano take nyo dun? 

Hirap tlaga ang sitwasyon na LDR pero sa tingin ko kaya ka lang naman nakikipag cool off para humingi ng space pero magkalayo na kayo bakit kailangan pa nyo ng space. Yun lang sa tingin ko ah. Kase malamang hindi yun girl yun concern nya sya mismo ang nahihirapan.

[meisaia]

like i said, palusot lang ng mga lalaki ang cool off.

kaya kapag sinasabi sa akin na mag-cool off muna kami, sinasabi ko, hindi ko kailangan nun, maghiwalay na lang kami.

naglolokohan lang kami eh. cool off para makapagfool around other girls siya? tapos pag di nagwork babalikan nya ako? no thanks.

[shelby]

like i said, palusot lang ng mga lalaki ang cool off.

kaya kapag sinasabi sa akin na mag-cool off muna kami, sinasabi ko, hindi ko kailangan nun, maghiwalay na lang kami.

naglolokohan lang kami eh. cool off para makapagfool around other girls siya? tapos pag di nagwork babalikan nya ako? no thanks.

I second that notion.  A lot of men want to have their cake and eat it too.  It's called selfishness.  We will deny it but as the saying goes " Actions speaks louder than words".

[cottoncandy27]

i think its not.my bf and i talked about it lately

[jo1]

yes it is... you've one foot out the door already...

[angel..]

This is one topic regarding relationships that I usually cannot give a comment on. Because...well, wala talaga akong idea..until recently.

I was the one who requested for the "cool off", just 3 days ago. Pagod na ko. Sobra na yung pagiisip, sobra na yung doubts. Dati kasi kung may problema as much as possible I try to talk to my partner about it. I open up about my issues with my partner or if we have any problems. Pero grabe siya, tina-try ko na nga makipagusap para ma-resolve namin yung issues namin tinatalikuran pa ko, tama ba yun? Chaka kayang kaya nya kong nakikitang nasasaktan at umiiyak. Pinaglaban ko sya ng ilang beses, di ko siya iniwan. Pero sobra, ang careless nya sakin. Sinabi ko na sa kanya na nasasaktan ako, ginagawa pa din. Mas kaya pang ipaglaban yung nakakasira ng relasyon namin kesa sakin na sinasabi niyang mahal niya.

I still love my partner, pero dahil sa mga nagawa nya or dahil sa nangyari samin, nagkaron na ko ng grudge sa kanya. May galit na ko. At the same time the trust isn't there anymore.

Some of you may ask, sa dami ng nega na nasabi ko about my partner, why not break it off lalo na may trust issues pa din pala.

Answer: I asked for the cool off because, one, I want the both of us to think things through. Do we still love and care for each other enough to try and make the relationship work and hopefully, in time get past this problem? If we do get back together, exactly how much can we compromise? Will there be really changes?

The second and my most important reason: I want to make sure that I really am ready to let go or give up na talaga. Because I'm not the type to break things off but I'll come running back when I realize I that no, hindi ko pa pala kaya. When I let go, that's it. There is absolutely no turning back.

In my case, it looks like the cool off is indeed a prelude to a break up. I'm still hoping a little that somehow, we can fix this. Pero ang nafi-feel ko at ang sinisigaw ng isip ko, enough na.

[annchitect]

Pajoin mga sis,

Meron ding naman nagagawang mabuti ang cool off, like in my case, sarado isip ko na ako lage ang tama sa relasyon at sya ang mali. Lagi akong nagtatampo kahit sa maliliit na bagay. after almost 3 years na pagpapasensya sakin ni BF hindi na nya kinaya. aheheh. nakipag cool off sya, pero sabi nya hindi naman daw break yun. kasi kung ayaw na [textspeak!] nya break na hihingin nya. after a week of silence naayos namin and i got to learn my mistakes and so did he. sa loob ng 1 week na cool off kami wala akong ginwa kungdi magresearch about relationships. which naging ok samin dahil ngayon, wala na kaming masyadong away. bongga diba? heheh

[Howcouldyoubesohartless]

So sad, tumatak na sa isip ko that after cool-off , its break-up.. sadly guy ang humihingi sakin.. kya if that guy asks for cool off, Hindi ako pumapayag.. Sasabhin ko sa kanya na mag break na lang kami dahil dun din pupunta yun.. pahahabain mo lang yung pain na nararamdaman mo..  kung kami kami.. kung hindi, then hindi..

[klengmorales]

Bakit kasi ganyan ang mga guys? Hindi na nga sila expressive, pati ba naman sa pakikipag break hindi pa kayang sabihin?
Eto ang nararanasan ko right now. Since last year he was really cold to me. Oh well start pa ng relationship namin ako na talaga tong medyo maintindihin. kahit tipo siya ang may mali.. ako pa din ang nagsosorry. We've been together for 7 years. Nakaramdam ako ng iba nung laging not available ang sim card  nya yun pala katxt nya ang "pinsan" nya. Take note, he bought a sim card just to text his cousin and lagi ng nakatago ang cell phone nya. yung tipo bang tatalikod para mgtext, lalabas ng kwarto, mag ccr etc. heaven knows how I cried in front of him when I caught he's talking to his "cousin" on the phone. Pero deadma lang sya
 Then after that sasabihin niya na nasasakal sya sa akin? P*** talaga. Pero nagtext sya sa akin after long month of no communication. na he needs space because ayaw nya magdecide na pagsisisihan nya.

Tama nga yung mga sis natin. malamang tumitingin tingin na sila ng ibang girls.
aminado ako masakit. hanggang ngayon. LAHAT na ng mga friends ko niyayaya ko na umalis. kahit nga hindi ko kilala niyaya ko na rin para lang makalimutan ko sya.

[Serena.]

Marami akong kilala, cool-off led to breaking up lang din. Kaya ko pag cool-off hihingin sakin, makikipaghiwalay na lang din ako.

[leyrivera03]

Can you help me sis?
I have a problem.. I have a boyfriend pero biglang may dumating na boy na pinakilala lang ng friend ko, diko xpect na magiging close kame nung boy na yun.. Dumating sa point na iba na nffeel ko for him. E kaso may bf ako, pero lately yung bf ko naman is dry saken & even our relationship. Pero diko mgawang iwanan sya kase i know i love him, mtagal nakame nagssama.. Yung isa nman is more matured than my bf & he has good career. Ayun, so guys.. [textspeak!] do u think? Balak ko sna mkipag cool-off eh. Hayy, thank you sa pdeng mag advice saken.. It'll be appreciated.

[shieldmaidenofRohan]

Hubby and I went through cool off stage months before we got married. Our relationship has always been smooth-sailing, walang complications, routinary. Parang ako si Bash sa One More Chance, I needed time to find myself. I tested myself if I can live without him, hindi pala. Ganun din naman sya, he held on until I realized this relationship is for keeps.

Ang dami kong kilala nag cool off for a while bago ikasal.

[gorgeousmama]

99%% leads to break up,

When  a relationship  turns sour or if the other party is burn out, usually one would say cool off muna,
Coz neither one of them wants to say goodbye , so parang this is the safest thing to do, until one decided to let go

Sometimes naman its a test if you still have feelings for each other or you want to sort things out , but seldom talaga na me nangyayaring reconcilliation

[babychellee]

based on my own personal experience..yes!

with my first bf, ako lagi yung nakikipag cool off kasi inis na inis ako sa ugali nya at ayoko siyang nakikita at naririnig dahil nakukulitan ako. and yun yung way ko para ma-measure kung namimiss ko ba siya. it turns out hindi e. eventually, it led to a formal break up.

with my 2nd ex naman, yung ex-bf ko naman nag ask nun. ganun din eventually it lead to a break up when he initially asked for "space".

[angelzero]

minsan hindi naman sya prelude to breaking up pero natatakot pa rin ako makipag cool off if my bf and i are going through a tough situation. iniisip ko na lang kung kaya ba namin i-work out yung issue kahit hindi kami cool off. if the answer is yes, then we can go through this together.

when my ex said cool off muna kami kasi blah blah blah, hindi nako umasa na magkakabalikan kami. you just know. true enough, 1 month after the break up may ibang gf na sya. so yes, like what others said, it's a nicer way of saying "break na tayo."

[crazycoolchic19]

Yes it is, for me pag sinabi kong cool off kase ending na yun, parang cool off is another term for saying goodbye...