Break ups after 3years in relationship

[daria]

ang dami pala natin. i recently ended a 3+ year relationship. like most of you, i invested my all. i really thought that we could work everything together. we even talked about marriage, what our kids' name would be, our future house and all. we seemed like the perfect couple.
the problem was, i ignored my instinct that he was stringing me for the ride all along. even though he would gamely talk about kids and marriage with me, when it came time to talk about serious stuff (when, how, where), he would get mad because i have been persistent about the topic.
until one day, i broke up with him (after the nth time) and he called it. he accepted my call of break up, and that was it. he was citing that he WANTED to give me everything i want, but he just cannot DO something about it.
he is a serial monogamist. i believe he was only able to call my last break-up threat because he has been emotionally preparing for the day i'd call it quits. i believe he already has someone by his side.
its been only a few weeks, the pain is still fresh. there are still a lot of unanswered questions (why does he think he cannot work this relationship with me, why is he with someone else, does he still love me) and my heart is still full of fear (fear of being alone, fear that he was my last chance at love-ito ang pinakanakakatakot!). but i've been trying to be strong, and push the belief that God makes right in His own time.

[chuvaeklavu]

sis daria, same attitude pala ang BF natin ow' i mean EX... hehe..
pero additional to his attitude he is irresponsible to money, introverted, sloppy and lazy...kainis kase di ko mahiwalayan nung 1st year or 2nd yr cos sobrang lambing and amo ng mukha(kilig pa din ako) hehe..
pero i figure it out kaya lang nagbigay pa din ako ng chance sa relationship namin...

then last month nga which is our 3yrs and 8mos ang ginawa ko nun, umalis ako for 1week vacation para makapagisip na kame then I prayed to God na

"if he is your will pakibalik siya sakin... ingatan niyo po ang puso niya habang wala ako, pero kung hindi siya, kayo na po ang magalis sa kanya sa buhay ko"

ayun after a week ayaw niya na maghabol sakin cos may GF na siya....hahaha... anyway that is Gods will at least i will not suffer for a lifetime, siguro sis lets say mga 3mos lang makakamove on na tayo sis... carry natin to! aja!

[daria]

naku naman sis, parehong-pareho pa talaga tayo!! hahaha. ganun din naman ang ex ko, irresponsible with money, etc.
how are you dealing with the pain? are you feeling any better? kamusta ka naman?

[chuvaeklavu]

Hi Daria,

At first, palagi ako umiinom para makatulog sa gabi...
Then, i have this notes outline siya kung bakit gusto ko hiwalayan si EX so palagi ko binabasa para makapag move on, palagi ko sinasabi sa sarili ko na "talo talaga ko sa kanya"

Now, i dwell myself to God I pray day and night... and found out a n g asawa pala HINIHINGI sa DIYOS...hindi lang nahahanap kung saan o dumarating from nowhere...
So ito ko ngayon 2011 looking forward, bayaran sa hindi ready to face the world....

Im also thinking now of having my own business pra ma-divert the pain.

[daria]

^ good for you! ganyan din ako e, i always pray to God that when i am healed already, hopefully He directs me to who He wants for me. Because i genuinely just wants a partner who will make me be closer to Him and raise a family the way He wants me to do..
sana He heeds our prayers..

[chuvaeklavu]

grabe sis daria, t**** t**** ko today.....
binuksan ko FB account niya... nakita ko [textspeak!] GF niya...
sobrang inis ako pero sabi ko sa sarili ko if malalaman ng girl totoo niyang personality for sure mate-turn off din siya....

Pero sis, in fairness may ganda babae... nagselos ako at nainggit 
well sinabi ko na naman sa sarili ko, malaki ang dahilan kung bakit ko siya hiniwalayan... onting regret na lang mawawala na din to in time....

and good news -- nagtext sakin ang sister ng ex last night sabi niya mag-meet daw kame pagdating ng padre nila at baka magbabayaran na sa mga kautangan.... sana --- i keep on praying sis....

matapos na sana tong pagdudusa ko....

[mommhie]

                 share ko lang ive read about ths on some psychology site.youre right mga sis,3rd year talaga mejo magging rocky ang relationship,like youll start to feel less kilig,less thrill etc.unlike when you were just first dating,you hardly knew each other,you see each other less,well you have more exciting sex life because youre still trying to know what makes each other come and blah blah.the human brain daw kasi is like a thirsty throat na gusto ng some cold sparkly drink...human brain is like that,in short excitement gives our brain some "spark" that we mistaken for "truee loove".when you barely know each other(you become so interested about that person and that makes you get into "cant stop thinking about him or her"mode which makes you think that you are so much happier with his new "girl" which is not.so its just gonna be a cycle.he thinks shes "the one",he will be crazy about her for 3 years or less,then the cycle goes on again...he thinks their relationship is boring ,he will try to find someone else again for that damn "first dating kind of spark" then would probably do the same thing he had done to you.walang pagkukulang ang babae na nahanap ng guy sa ibang babae kaya pinalitan nyo ito,its just actually the same spark that he felt when you were just first dating.then after few years of the guy being with the new girl,he will ask him self"ano nanggyari?bakit parang nawawalan na ng spark?parang boring na..."sad and exhausting but true,the girls are the ones in charge of creating sparks and probably thinking of ways to make your boyfriend to cooperate...not easy but doable...explain this to your boyfriends...




hope this helps...

[chuvaeklavu]

sis, ang situation naman namin, ako nakipaghiwalay...
cos im so fed up sa ugali niyang irresponsible to money, sloppy and lazy...in the 1st year narerecognize ko na nga ang ugali niya...

so sa case ko -- hindi ko matanggap [textspeak!] BF ko na possible makatuluyan ko na may ganung character... cos 6yrs in college na siya he is turning 26 this year tapos di pa din siya makakagraduate....
aray talaga!

naiinis lang ako sa situation....

[daria]

^ haha! sorry, natawa ko dun sa 6 years in college?! oh my! tama na yan, move on na. from the words of a friend na hiniwalayan ng guy kahit may trahe de boda na siya (yes, they were supposed to get married, she was having her bridal gown done na at the time they broke up), just don't ask the reason. move forward, and never look back.
with regards to the study, i just believe that if both of you wasn't able to get the 3 yr hump off your relationship, then chances are, should bigger things in life appear (like death, monetary probs), then both wouldn't have survived it either. kung simpleng 3 yr itch, hindi matawid, ano pa kaya ang bigger problems? at the end of it all, its how resilient both of you are to keep each other in each other's lives. if only the girl tries to prove to the guy that psychologically, his brain starts looking for something new, then only the girl is trying to make the relationship happen.

[_AiaH_]

^ I agree. hehe. what's the point in making 'hinayang' of the relationship na in the first place you know the very reason why you have to leave. sus, di rin sila magtatagal ng ganon ng lalaking yan.. nakahanap lang ng sexy at maganda, pinatulan nya and this girl might think she's so lucky she won your guy. tingnan lang natin in the next coming months, or years.

[chuvaeklavu]

aray ko daria! sapul!

@aiah - yes, akala niya jackpot na siya kase maganda packaging talaga ng ex ko... pero the reality is di maganda his attitude towards life....

Then, ito na ulit ang story pa upcoming so if akala nung girl magbabago [textspeak!] ex ko dahil sa kanya well nagkakamali siya cos sa after 1yr lalabas ang tunay na kulay na naman nuon...

[mommhie]

aray ko daria! sapul!

@aiah - yes, akala niya jackpot na siya kase maganda packaging talaga ng ex ko... pero the reality is di maganda his attitude towards life....

Then, ito na ulit ang story pa upcoming so if akala nung girl magbabago [textspeak!] ex ko dahil sa kanya well nagkakamali siya cos sa after 1yr lalabas ang tunay na kulay na naman nuon...
 

      exactly...

[chuvaeklavu]

girls, baka you want to meet up with us ni daria....
let have a dinner tapos chikka chikka tayo then lets set an activity to go out.... PM me your interester....

I am looking for purple rain pala i dont know exactly her user ID... If nakita niyo siya pakisabi na lang i am looking for her... lol
 

[daria]

guess what i did today?! i burned, as in literally sinunog ko, lahat ng mga letters, drawings, movie tickets, plane tickets, pictures of my past relationship. matagal ko nananaman silang hindi tinitingnan but burning them seems like the right thing to do.. its like, i'm declaring to the universe that i choose to move on. i am proving to God that i believe Him, i have faith in Him, that He will deliver me what's best for me. i feel like the sooner i move on, the sooner God gives me the person that is best for me.
honestly, no tears, no bad emotions either on the ritual. the memories are still there, but physically burning the past just seems like a shout out that i am so ready to move on.
i have faith the right person will come soon.. 

[chuvaeklavu]

sis congratulations!
it seems to me ang dami niyong magagandang memories sa pinagsusunog mo ah....

[textspeak!] akin wala ako ng masunog cos wala naman kameng mga maraming mga pinagpupuntahan at pinagagawa puro mall at bahay lang for 4yrs... shocks! kainis!

[daria]

kainis ba yun? buti nga konti lang e.. kami, we have been out of the country thrice, went out of town, and we were horrid letter-exchangers. kaya ang dami kong sinunog. hahaha. 
inisip ko na lang, pwede ko naman gawin lahat yan with whoever God will give me, at least deserving pa of my love, hindi ako uutangan ng malaki, and hindi ako iche-cheat on..

[iCleverClogs]

^ galit ka nga..     


nakikinig ako ng music ngayon, entitled Big Girls Don't Cry... 

[chuvaeklavu]

@daria - kainis yun sis cos wala siyang naiwan na magandang memories sakin... onti lang [textspeak!] inayakan ko tuloy... hahaha
[textspeak!] bed scene lang... ooopppss...

@iclever- ayokong song yan... cos kanta ko sa kanya yan nung bumalik siya sa bulacan with his fam way back 2008... grrrrr

[_AiaH_]

LOOOOLLLL @ the bed scene. I have my fair share of memorable bed scenes with a guy i've been involved with, hahaha. sobrang memorable, hehe. how i wish i can burn the memories of each and every night namin dalawa, para i won't remember any hahah. galing kasi nya eh, LOL LOL.

[chuvaeklavu]

hahaha.... wow sis magaling!! hahaha
u n g skin turuan...lol (so kilig)
hahaha...sunod lang ng sunod...

ano ba yan... mag-reminisce daw vahh....