advantage and disadvantage of long distance relationship for couple

[tres_beau_02]

Ano ang advantage and disadvantage ng long distance relationship sa mag couple?
Sinong may experience na malayo sa minamahal?
Share your story...

[twelvth_goddess]

Am not in that situation now but I used to be. Mahirap pag selosa ka masyado or madale ma-paranoid.

[honey_iya]

Nung LDR kami ni hubby, advantage for me dahil mas malaki remittance keysa ngayon na andito na sya nagwo-work

mas marami ang disadvantage kaya ayoko na ng LDR.

[aquacharly]

The only advantage I see is the financial advantage.

[mommynin8]

if the couple is going to move to the other's location, then it may be an advantage that the one far away can already work, and scout for work and housing for them...

disadvantage, hindi kayo nakakapag bond as a couple.

[hotshotsssss]

one advantage of LDR is learning how to communicate well... back when we're not yet married, hubby worked abroad for 2 years (without vacation). during that time we have learned how to talk to each other... and also how to listen to each other...

now, hubby is out of the country again, haven't seen him for more than a year. but despite the distance, we're still happy and looking forward to our next meeting (hopefully, this year!)

[maeka]

ang advantage para sakin is may space kayo to grow... kaylangan lang ng continuos communication para hnd mapagiwanan ang bawat isa...

ang disadvantage naman kapag deadma na kayo sa isat isa hahahha

[aquacharly]

May I ask something from those in LDRelationships  ... at sana hwag naman ako batuhin for being curious...  makapal mukha ko but hindi ganoon ka kapal to ask friends who are in LDRelationships.

ASSUMING, contracts require that you are apart for a year or so.  Napansin ko, medyo marami din naman go over every 3 or 6 months (meron every month nagpupunta)  to visit the one situated far away.

Nakakayanan ba ng partner/spouse who is far away and separate from the family to be faithful?
Or, deadma na lang the issue coz well, reality sucks at times di ba.

An accountant of mine, who has small kids, with her husband in Dubai says she feels soooo lonely most of the time, kahit na daw araw araw sila text and chat.

And on the way back from Macau the other weekend... while waiting for boarding time...
there was this group going home near where I was seated.
Eto kamo --  the men were kidding each other about erasing their GF's or girls' cel nos from their units... baka daw makita ni Mrs.   So, may partners pala sila in Macau. 

[maeka]

sis depende yan sa pagkakaintindihan ng magasawa...
or shall i say sa strenght and depth ng relationship...
uu may communication nga like chat and text pero kung meaningless wala din kwenta yung mga effort ng magasawa...i guess what im trying to say is yung building strong communication with each other ang magiging puhunan ng relation nyo while away from each other...kung mahal nyo ang isat isa bakit kaylangan gumawa ng kalokohan na magiging banta na magend up ang pagsasama nyo bilang couple...

sabi nga ni papa jack "not because you can, you will"

[honey_iya]

^^Sis, ako ang isasagot ko eh based sa "pagi-imbestiga" ko shhh

Yes kaya naman, depende kasi sa tao. di ko na i-isa-isahin kung anong imbestigasyon ang ginawa ko mapatunayan ko lang na naging faitful siya. may tiwala naman ako pero sabi nga nila lalake. ayoko magpaka kampante. 7 months na siyang andito pero wala pa naman akong nahuhuli. since mag bf/gf kami never padin naman kami nagka issue about 3rd party. Pero minsan naiisip ko na baka nga naging unfaithful sya, di ko lang alam kasi malayo pero ewan ko wala talaga ako maramdaman hehe.

[honeydarlie]

Hay... LDR... ito pinakaiwas-iwasan ko. Sabi ko never ever... ayoko ng LDR. In the end... ganun din yata bagsak ko LOL

Unsolicited advice to all in LDRs out there... do not be too confident that your spouse/bf is faithful. Lalo na pag mabarkada si husband, naku IMO ito ang #1 culprit. And most girls abroad, its either kapit sa patalim, or lonely din. Tapos naging mapera pa si husband, and so on... Observation ko lang ito. I-surprise visit mo minsan.

Example na lang ha, i know of a case na, some housemates nagdala ng girls (bayaran) sa pad nila. Uso abroad ang sharing sa house. All of them are men. E two married men also live there... nag-alala pa sila, nagpasalubong pa sila ng 2 girls for them  Guess what? Tingin nyo tumanggi the 2 married guys? 

E dito lang sa own housemates ko, one of the guys, every month ata magpalit ng gf. Dinadala dito sa bahay. Although he is not married, i know he has a gf in Manila.

These days, if makatsamba ka talaga ng faithful husband or bf, priceless!

But for some wives, ok lang, basta sa kanila uuwi or nagpapadala. Ok dont bother LOL.

[hersmart4ever]

The advantage is malaki ang freedom na mae-enjoy mo. The disadvantage is may possibility kang ma-paranoid kasi maiisip mo lagi kung faithful ba siya or what. Mahirap ding i maintain ang long distance ralationship.

[aquacharly]

Thank you for the responses, talagang curious curious curious ako eh.

Sa mga sinabi, it really helps if frequent visits are made... either puntahan mo doon or balik balik dito.  Hindi ata "healthy" if over a year passes tapos hindi kayo nagkikita.  Well, men are men and naku, wala pa akong friend na hindi nagsabi when it itches, they just gotta scratch.

But that's that.  A more pressing concern, for me na curious,, is how the women cope with their loneliness.  I think this is more crucial than the man's fidelity coz well, the kids' future and the family's finances and assets/nest egg is mainly managed (?) by the woman.  Pag sya ang nag lakwatcha... oh my.

Pero tama kayo... it is the level of commitment to each other and the family.  Kelangan hindi ma kakalimutan that the hardship of being apart is just temporary.  The end goal is to be together as a family again.

[honey_iya]

^kami straight 2 years & 1 month na di nagkita, tinapos niya talaga muna ang contract nya kasi wala na siya balak mag abroad. sobrang hirap, lalo na daw sa part niya...kapag kausap ko sya palagi umiiyak, ako naman umiiyak lang kapag tulog na anak namin. ayoko ipakita sa kanila na nalulungkot ako. yung everyday na dumaan eh grabeng sad pero thank god nalagpasan namin. now andito na sya for good

[ayrise]

i wouldnt recommend this anyone, before i thought kaya ko ito pero hindi pala .. mahirap maging faithfull kapag LDR kayo lalo na sa guys kasi nga they need attention from girls siguro for their ego or what so kung may lumapit na babae sa kanila wala na ... all of their morals just go out of the window.

i didnt survive LDR, My husband and i are separated right now, i dont know if this is for good since kakadecide lang namen last month after i caught him cheating... mahirap talaga magkalayo you'll miss out on everything kahit na magusap pa kayo lagi iba pa ren yung magkasama kayo ..

[maeka]

i wouldnt recommend this anyone, before i thought kaya ko ito pero hindi pala .. mahirap maging faithfull kapag LDR kayo lalo na sa guys kasi nga they need attention from girls siguro for their ego or what so kung may lumapit na babae sa kanila wala na ... all of their morals just go out of the window.

i didnt survive LDR, My husband and i are separated right now, i dont know if this is for good since kakadecide lang namen last month after i caught him cheating... mahirap talaga magkalayo you'll miss out on everything kahit na magusap pa kayo lagi iba pa ren yung magkasama kayo ..

how did u caught him sis?

[ayrise]

^ nagbakasyon sila dito kasama anak namen at mom ko just last christmas.

nakita ko un YM conversations nila ng hindi sinasadya.. i know his ym password so the other time i logged into his account, the Girl was online so voila! huli! i chatted with the girl for 4 days gathering enough evidence .. i was posing as my husband para makakuha ako ng evidence.

then wala na siya choice kundi umamin sa akin. i confronted the girl at umamin din sa akin.

[sweet angel]

me advantages ba ang LDR? parang financial lang 

para sa akin napakahirap ng LDR, di kopa  naeexperience pero sana huwag, (lagi ako kasama kapagwork si hubby sa abroad katulad ngayon) nakakatakot, dami nagkakahiwalay.

kahit pa sabihin na pagkatiwalaan na ikaw lang ang mamahalin, siguro oo, ikaw lang ang mamahalin pero pano yung tawag ng laman nila at wala ka, e di iba tatawagin nila hehe 

 

[kettlekorn28]

Yes, no matter how faithful ang hubby mo sayo, kapag nagkalayo na kayo...pwede magbago yun. Di ko pa naexperience yung LDR pero I don't want to go through it. Tsaka madami akong kilala na nagkahiwalay because of infidelity while LDR. Hubby is thinking of going abroad. Ok naman ang salary nya kasi wala pa kami anak. Yun na nga eh, nahihirapan na nga kami magkaroon ng anak tapos aalis pa sya. Most of his colleagues kasi is abroad na kaya nate-tempt sya. Reason nya, pag andun na sya, he can buy me whatever I want. Naku, I'm not materialistic eh. Gusto ko yung buo ang family. Tsaka knowing his family particularly MIL & SIL, tiyak na magkakaproblem kami dahil sa salary. Mag-bfgf pa lang kami ni hubby, inuudyukan na sya ni MIL na mag-abroad. Tapos when we got married, tuwing nabisita kami kina MIL, palagi yang may kwento na si ganito si ganyan nag abroad na tapos anlaki ng sahod at nakapagpundar na ng ganito ganyan. Feeling ko, in a way, itinutulak nya si hubby na mag-abroad para maranasan din nya yung ganun. Tapos sumasabat si SIL ng ganito, "May package nga na dumatin. Daming damit at pagkain. Ganda pa nung laptop." Oh di ba, riot kami ng mga in-laws ko pag nagkataon.

[tres_beau_02]

naku may tendency pala na si hubby ay magbago...
ako kasi ang nasa abroad.tapos sya susunod sya sa akin.
pag tumatawag ako ina ask ko sya ng pabiro na baka may iba na sya...lagi nya sinasabi sa akin noon pa na never daw nya gagawin yun...naniniwala naman ako sa kanya..pero sa mga nababasa ko dito sa thread parang natatakot na tuloy ako...minsan nga si hubby ko pa nag aask baka may bf daw ako dito sa abroad..minsan nagselos pa nga sya dun sa comment sa akin ng guy sa facebook...tsaka napaka seloso nya..ayaw nya na may naporma na guy sa akin lalo na mag asawa na kami...basta palagi nya sinasabi sa akin na magtiwala lang ako sa kanya at kahit magkalayo kami ay di daw nya gagawin yun..tsaka may paraan naman daw pagdating sa tawag ng laman..may kamay naman daw ika ng hubby tee hee!..pero sympre natatakot parin ako kasi ang ganda ganda ng samahan namin tapos masisira lang..sayang di ba?