how to deal with depression

[simang]

I hope you feel better soon, sis zee. Share ko lang, around 5 years ago nagkaron rin ako ng episode na ganyan, I know I have everything I need in life pero yung motivation ko zero. As in I would not go to work for a week straight, I can't even get up from my bed. Nakahiga lang ako maghapon, blank lang yung isip ko. Back then, I just finished grad school, sobrang okay ako financially, my relationship with my then bf was doing well, I travelled everywhere. Pero empty talaga pakiramdam ko. Naisip ko it was probably burn out sa work, kasi yung work ko talaga ang nagsuffer that time. I talked to a friend -- not my bestfriend but someone who could be neutral with me. Nagulat rin sya when I told her about how I felt that time kasi from the outside I had the ideal life, even I felt that. Pero deep within may emptiness talaga. Anyway, talking to that friend helped a lot. TL;DR, that phase eventually went away. Tingin ko what helped me greatly was nailabas ko lang kung anong nararamdaman ko without the judgment. Naisip ko kasi, if sa family or sa bf ko sinabi, sigurado ako they would tell me that everything will be okay, that i shouldn't feel that way since i have everything i need. Pero with that friend, she acknowledged how I felt and didn't really tell me anything. She emphatized with me until I felt better. This phase lasted for mga 3-4 months. After that I went back to being my happy self

Forward to early 2017, i was diagnosed with post partum depression. I did take meds for a bit and nagpa counsel din ako. When I opened kay counsellor yung experience ko na yun 5 years ago, she told me na it was probably already a sign of depression. Although hindi naman nya sinabi na dapat nagpatingin na ko nun, she mentioned na those emotions are present for a reason and hindi dapat balewalain.

I agree with most of the suggestions here -- try doing something you haven't done before. Change your dynamics. And fake it til you make it (this always works for me, partly LOA too).

[zee87]

@simang Wow!!!  You described it exactly how I felt it. Ganung ganun... 3-4 months?! wow! Sana lang wag ko na ulet maramdaman yun. Ang hirap! Kahit ako nijujudge ko yung sarili ko for feeling that way when I shouldn't be.

I am happy you guys were able to overcome that stage in your life. Kasi di siya talaga joke. Ngayon I am ok... Still hoping i will be better soon though. Thanks everyone! Cheers!

[glamorosa_09]

As in I would not go to work for a week straight, I can't even get up from my bed. Nakahiga lang ako maghapon, blank lang yung isip ko.

Ito, one clear sign of major depression. Affected ka and your work for at least 2 weeks duration, feeling of depressive symptoms for almost everyday, most of the day. 3-4 months... tagal.

But looks like sis simang is a resilient person. Having bounced back with a trusted friend. Something contributed to that resilience. From what I've shared on the epedimiology which are temperament, environment, and genes, probably sis simang has a positive personality by nature, and seems like she came from a healthy/functional family. Kaya lang resilience and recovery might be different for a person who is negativistic in nature and came from a dysfunctional/magulong family or had experienced adverse life situations/events (eg trauma).

Kung baga, para kang naglagay ng isang mabagit na bagay sa upuan. Yung isang upuan ay matibay, naalagaan ng maayos, kaya nyang dalhin yung weight. Pero merong upuan, na mahina at hindi kasing tibay nung isa because of what happened to it or iba yung material nya, posibleng bumagsak pag nilagyan mo ng same na mabigat na bagay.

But reiterating what others said, try anything that works for you.

[simang]

^^hindi naman sya consistently present for 3-4 months, pero madalas ko sya maramdaman, na wala akong motivation to do anything... May days na okay, pero madalas talagang naooverpower ako nung ganung feeling. Minsan pa nga, magpreprepare na ko to go to work, nakabihis and out the door na, then babalik ako sa room ko para humilata at hindi ako papasok. Definitely one of the darkest and most confusing times of my life. Pero yun nga, it helped me na may nakausap ako about it and I tried to change my routine.

^nakuha mo sis. Very positive ang support system ko talaga. I grew up in a loving family. I'm very close to my siblings and my parents. Friends and family ko, even ako, I see myself as really optimistic, masayahin kasi talaga ako. That's actually one of the reasons na narecognize ko na something was wrong, kasi I really didn't feel like myself.

Even during the PPD episodes, di ko matanggap nung una na it happened to me, kasi first few months after giving birth, I was fine, sobrang naenjoy ko and hindi ako ganun ka stressed. Around 6-7 months old yung baby ko when everything changed. I was mad, I cried everytime, I couldn't even say i love you sa daughter ko kasi I honestly didn't feel like I loved her that time. Sobrang dark talaga. I'm just thankful that's all over now.

[iluvescadasport]

glamorosa_09 and lalee888 thanks for the detailed explanation. You explained it way better than I did. Oo nga, mental illness should be treated like physical illness, but in a proper way din, Physical illness kasi madami na rin issues dyan (e.g. doctors recommending surgery agad or medicine agad when hindi naman kailangan). I hope the field in treating mental illness will progressed in a better way compared sa physical illness.

 zee87
Yes, go to a professional for diagnosis lang but please don't take meds unless super no choice ka na. Why do I keep repeating this? Because there are testimonies out there where mental illness can be cured by not taking meds. The number may not be as big as those who have been treated with meds, but it's because lately lang meron alternative or holistic medicine. I meant no offense to those who have taken meds though.

Try watching this: https://www.themeritclub.com/new-blog-1/2017/11/28/lisa-nichols-3-sentences-that-will-change-your-life

She was diagnosed as being clinically depressed, but she got better with no meds. She chose to do something else. People are different, what works for one may not work for other. But if given the choice of trying a solution na natural, why not try it first and choose the one that involves chemicals last? You might also want to check DEepak Chopra's studies, he believes that our body also produces the same chemicals that medicine (like anti depressant) does. Tony Robbin's book Unlimited Power also talks about 2 doctors who uses NLP (and not medicine) to help cure mental patients.

For me kasi, ang foundation ng thinking ko is emotions are created by motions and it all starts with the mind. You don't feed your mind properly (whether it's by the books you read, the things you watch or listne to, the food you eat), problems will arise like physical and mental problems.

And sis, don't hope you will be better. Know that you will be better =) Words matter. Let us use more empowering words for faster progress sa journey natin in life =) Parang positive affirmation din yan. Sis simang is correct, fake it till you make it. and loa works. Good luck on your journey, enjoy the process.

Last recommendation ko, you can watch this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBlWbV64N4I

Dr. RAo talks about happiness. Usually when we feel something, the main root cause is related with us being unhappy. I can't explain it haha better if you watch it kasi magaling siya magexplain

[glamorosa_09]

^yes sis, opinion ko rin last option na yung meds. Meron din naman mga psychiatrists trained in psychotherapy and psychoanalysis. Pero meron din talaga iba, after an interview, meds agad. Probably dahil konti lang sila, kaya I doubt din kung makakapagbigay sila ng 1-2 hours of regular therapy.

With drugs, depends din sa kind of mental illness, like bipolar. Hirap i-manage ng manic episodes kung walang pills, definitely genes play a part. Kahit hindi ganun ka-adverse yung trigger, umaattack.

[lalee888]

Sis Zee87 - so happy that you are first acknowledging there is a problem, you are seeking help professionally and reaching out even here in a forum, and you appreciate the life around you (that's a good sign!). You'll get through this sis and I'm cheering for you!

There is a ton of great advice here for everyone and frankly, there is no harm in doing any one or all of these: exercising, changing your routine, talking to your friends/finding a person to talk to, going through self-help, seeking physiotherapy and other forms of coping tools or alternative medicine, going to a doctor, taking medication, watching videos. All that advice is good for EVERYONE, even for those who are not suffering any symptom of depression. So if it's good for everyone, it definitely is good for someone depressed. Will it work? Maybe one will, maybe a combination will, maybe none of them will. Not all situations are the same - what works for one, may not work for someone else, so explore all options and find one that works for you and you are comfortable with. If you end up choosing to take medications because it is what helps you cope, by all means do so, do not feel bad or feel judged because some have said it is not their recommended route. Don't minimize your needs, we are all different and need different tools to cope.

If I want to argue that medication is bad for you, I can find a ton of resources online, legitimate and respected, to support my argument. In reverse, there is also a ton of resources online that I can link to, legitimate and respected, that supports an argument that medications do work and are not harmful to you. There is no one definite course of action to treat depression-- it all depends on YOU, the root cause/your situation, condition, coping tools available to you, environment and support system. And sis @glamorosa_09 has pointed this out in a nice way - some chairs are built differently, are at different stages of wear and tear, and are in different environmental conditions (a brand new chair in dry climate becomes brittle fast, while a brand new chair in humid climate can survive longer). You get the drift = )

I think the first step, which you are already doing (and has already been said here), is to try to figure out the root cause of your depressive symptoms. Going to a doctor is always a good idea. A doctor will help you identify a problem, but will not decide for you/impose on you. If you don't agree with a course of treatment or don't like the doctor's analysis of you, then you can always switch doctors. Medicine is both an art and science: science - the knowledge of medicine through studies, art - the bedside manners and how to understand and really work with a patient. It's not a catchall, that's also why there are specialists. Your doctor was looking at your vitals and diagnostics, to eliminate possible causes of depression. If your results are normal, then your doctor has eliminated some known causes and will likely consider another possible cause for it.

Here's an interesting and practical read on depression from the NY Times, why it's not just a 'feeling' and how to treat/not treat it: https://nyti.ms/2Dzdyyg

In brief: the patient is a psychiatrist herself. She had a sudden onset of depression which she could not explain. After seeking professional help and going on different medications within a year, she was able to survive (meds help you survive) but not treat the root cause. So doctors had to dig deeper to determine what's wrong until they found out she had ovarian cancer. "Patients with cancer are up to three times as likely to have depression as those without cancer, it's not simply that having cancer is depressing. It is that some cancers - perhaps most of them - can trigger the body to release chemicals that signal the brain to develop depressive symptoms." Now if you don't see a doctor, how would you know that your depression is externally caused or a malfunction within your body? The medication did not work for her but helped her cope.

In other cases, if your body is not able to absorb or receive essential vitamins like B12, Vitamin D, etc, it can also go on a depressive state - again in those cases the cause may be internal malfunctioning or just overall vitamin deficiency. Exercise is always a good idea (when was exercise a bad thing?), but if your body is malfunctioning and not able to process the chemical (serotonin) that exercise produces, then you will still feel depressed. Hence the importance of really finding the root cause and why going to a doctor is never a bad idea either. Don't discount advancements in medical science, take them just as you would take practical advice.

Wall of text again from me, but I think it's really important to understand that you should find the root cause and use all tools at your disposal to do so. Doctors are your friend, not enemy.

I hope you feel better soon sis, and you find the cause to treat, and the tools to cope =) I am sure the forums will be a good anonymous place to vent or help you in your journey, without anyone passing judgement on you. <3 <3 <3

[kvandenhaak]

Depression is like anxiety. If you feel very down and sad and almost to the point of crying without a reason you can pinpoint, then that is definitely depression. Ang normal na lungkot kasi may rason and once you are distracted from thinking about it, you feel fine. Pag clinically depressed, it just comes out of the blue and you don't even know why. Parang anxiety disorder. Like I said, I am happy and really contented with my situation. But out of the blue, without reason or warning I get palpitations, breathing problems, body pains, throat sensations, feeling of doom na di ko naman alam kung bakit.

I am on the board with exhausting all resources possible before taking medication. However, if the condition is really bad and it is affecting your everyday life and normal functions then there's pills as last resort. I don't think anyone dies of it so it's not a bad option. I manage my anxiety without pills so far. I am not sure if Vitamin D3 deficiency is possible for people in the tropics but you may want to have that checked as well and your magnesium level. Deficiency of both can make you depressed and anxious. If you are deficient, it's important to take Vitamin K2 (MK7) with it. Without it, absorption will be a problem. Two birds in one stone yan because they help regulate your blood pressure as well.

[fall2pieces]

Depression na ba to.. I feel like nobody likes me like there's something wrong with me. Feeling ko ayaw sa akin ng mga tao. Natrigger siguro to nung iniwan ako ng ex ko. Parang ayaw ko ng makipagsocialize dahil dito. Napapagod ako makihalubilo sa mga tao. Parang wala akong gana. Hindi na ko masaya sa life ko in general parang hindi ako contented sa kung anong meron ako. I want something else na hindi ko alam kung ano. Kaya parang kahit anong gawin ako ang hirap sumaya yung genuine happiness. Parang pinipilit ko lang ang sarili ko na maging masaya.

[lalee888]

^Sis, i'm not too sure ha, it could be an early onset of depression or mild depression (very common, everyone goes through it) however....

Depression na ba to.. I feel like nobody likes me like there's something wrong with me. Feeling ko ayaw sa akin ng mga tao. Natrigger siguro to nung iniwan ako ng ex ko.

The abandonment may have made you feel insecure about yourself and that feeling has developed self-doubt, and paranoia of others.

Parang wala akong gana. Hindi na ko masaya sa life ko in general parang hindi ako contented sa kung anong meron ako. I want something else na hindi ko alam kung ano. Kaya parang kahit anong gawin ako ang hirap sumaya yung genuine happiness. Parang pinipilit ko lang ang sarili ko na maging masaya.

The lack of interest is a sign of depression, but it doesn't mean that if you have one sign, that you are depressed.

Based on your post sis, i think you are feeling sadness and a type of mourning from a broken relationship. You seem to be searching for happiness too -- which is a good sign -- so this can be something you get out of yourself, not a chronic or clinical depression. Your "pagpilit to be happy" means you are coping, you are struggling and you have an inner will to battle the sadness and become happy.

How long ago was your break-up? Time will heal.. based on your post, the general advice here will apply to you -- try something new, find a new hobby, new job, cut your hair, change your look, move to a new place, city, country! take a trip, do something unexpected and spontaneous, find yourself! =)

But then again, my post is only responding to what you posted sis. I don't know anything else about your situation so i could be completely wrong. Regardless though, GO FIND YOUR HAPPINESS SIS! You got this, just be kind to yourself and take your time = )

[iluvescadasport]

Just want to share some videos that I believe might be helpful sa depression. It may be an official diagnosis of depression or baka feel lang natin na depression, but I strongly believe the videos below can be a help for us =)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw3NyUMLh7Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGBoXTaitr0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofU58-8q7_M


Also, try watching videos on Dr. Hyman. Ito nakuha ko sa site: "You may have heard of Dr. Mark Hyman from his book Eat Fat Get Thin, which is on the [textspeak!] bestseller list right now, and in this CE interview we discuss many ideas from his book. Ideas like, functional medicine?a radical new way to treat diseases by identifying the cause of the disease and curing that, rather than fighting the symptoms."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBcRocFlbao


He mentioned din na what we eat or the env't we are exposed to can contribute to symptoms of depression. Who knows, maybe the food we eat plus the way we react to our circumstances in life might contribute to the depression. I copied paste a short transcript of him being interviewed (it's from Mindvalley.com:

Mark: Let me take it down to a very specific about depression because we're just talking about depression.

Vishen: Okay, yeah.

Mark: So when you go to the doctor, you have all these symptoms they say, "Oh, you have depression. I know what's wrong with you. You are depressed, you have depression, I know what you need. You need an anti-depressant." Rather than doing that, what I say, "Why do you have depression?" So functional medicine is the medicine of why not what. Why is this happening, not what disease do I have and what drug do you take. So for depression it could be that you're eating gluten and have created an auto immune reaction, creating Hashimoto's thyroid disease which is low thyroid that can cause depression. Or it could be because you've had reflux from eating a bad diet or a bacteria in your stomach that causes you to take this pill causing acid blocker that blocks B12 absorption.
And B12 absorption can cause depression or it could be because you live and work inside or in the northern climate and have vitamin D deficiency that can cause depression. Or it could be because you've taken antibiotics that alter your gut flora and that can cause depression. Or it could be because you love sushi and have mercury poisoning or ate fish and have Omega 3 deficiency. Or because you love sugar and have pre-diabetes and then some resistance. All of those cause depression. And by simply naming the symptoms you're not gonna figure out the cause. So it's medicine by cause. But also on the other side, you can have not just one disease, it can have many symptoms and many diseases that are caused by it. Sorry, you could have not just one disease that has many causes like depression, you can have one cause that can create many diseases. For example, gluten can cause depression, osteoporosis, iron deficiency anemia, auto immune disease, schizophrenia, rheumatoid arthritis, and on and on and on all from eating one thing that's driving your immune system. So really it depends on looking what's happening in that individuals. It's the ultimate personalized medicine. And in a sense, it's the real biohacking that's out there in the world because the body is a system. And when you understand how to play with that system, how to work with the system, how to tweak the system, then you can create optimal function. You can actually create enhanced functions. So functional medicine is not just about eliminating disease, it's about how do you optimize the function of your body. It's literally the science of how to upgrade your biological software.

[Half_Lifer26]

Hello mga Sis!
Nabasa ko mga post nyo dito and I'm glad to know that there are a lot of people that goes through the same thing as I am.. Somehow it makes me a little relieved. I Though I am a guy and they said it is uncommon for male to become so depressed but it's obvious na walang pinipiling gender pag na depressed ang isang tao.

Ganitong ganito ang nararanasan ko for quite a long time now.. The feeling of No motivation, No interest sa mga bagay, and sa kahit na ano.. Takot din ako makipag socialize or should I say I don't know how to properly interact with people kasi nga wala na kong interest sa kahit ano.. I feel lifeless and sad most of the time..

A little background about me:
I am a 27 years old Guy and Single and I've never been in a relationship. I've been to multiple jobs and work for a different companies.. Been through ups and downs.. But madalas ko naiisip kung ano ba talaga ang gusto kong gawin, ang gusto ko sa buhay.. I think hindi ko talaga alam  kung ano passion ko.. Or should I say nawala na yung pagiging passionate ko sa mga bagay na hilig kong gawin at gusto ko.. Mahilig ako sa mga manga,comics, anime, movies and video games.. But for quite sometime now kahit ang mga bagay na yun eh halos wala na akong interest and everything feels like I'm just trying na lang and I'm just doing it or forcing myself na lang just for the sake of it.. I also have  and tried other hobbies such as hiking, biking and drawing. Pero kahit yun eh ganun na din.. I feel like I'my just trying those things but still don;t have any motivation or full interest on those things..

May pagka nerdy and geeky kasi ako at Introverted.. Di talaga ako masyadong sociable and di ako magaling makipag socialize.. I think I'm a real Intorvert.. Kapag nakikipag socialize ako is parang awkward ang dating..
Now, recently I just resigned from my recent job kasi wala na kong motivation and tinatamad na din akong pumasok.. May mga times na gusto ko na lang humiga at di pumasok, madalas na din ako nalalate, and I think naapektuhan na yung work ko kaya I decided to resign na din and di na din ako masaya dun recent job ko.. Now, I don't have the motivation to look for a new job, I've been feeling anxious and job interview will make me trigger my anxiety and depression even more.. Kaya di ako nag-aapply..
Isama mo pa yung pressure from peers and family.. They always asking me if I had a new job or if I already applied etc.. And it annoys me so much..
Alam kong di ko pa kaya ang mga interview and I want to detoxify myself muna..
Also, I have a very dysfunctional family, my parents always quarrel and yell most of the time kahit sa mga maliliit na bagay.. Madalas sila mag away at magsigawan.. Naiinis ako sa kanila.. Naisip ko na lang na mag move out pero I don't know how to do that and where would I start.. I don't have that much friends..

Kaya lang I don't know what I wanted to do at this point.. I feel like na hit ko na yung end point ng buhay ko.. I think I hit the roadblock and I don't know where to go or there's nowhere to go. Nawalan na ko ng mga interest sa mga bagay bagay na usually gusto kong gawin, takot na din ako makipag socialize sa mga tao, and I feel like giving up and even suicidal thoughts..

Thank you so much mga Sis for reading this.. 
I know mahaba pero somehow nakapag vent ako and feel a little relief.. I just accidentally discovered femalenetwork back in 2016 and madami akong nalaman since then...

[lalee888]

^bro, hang in there.

everyone goes through a variation of what you are going through. the problem is not unique to you, so if others got through it so can you. = ) hang in there.

you can't change your family and environment but you can change your attitude and your job. you mentioned you have no job right now since you just quit. you might want to consider empowering yourself and you can do this alone and online -- there's a Reddit (please google it) sub on conquering social anxiety. I think you need to build up on that, and you can do it alone nga from online videos and reading tips from other people. Once you get over that, it will help you feel more confident socializing with others, and in job interviews. Unfortunately, socializing is a part of life, unless you want to be a hermit. I remember reading a post from someone who overcame social anxiety and also speaking in public by imagining the person in front of them taking a dump (sitting on a toilet basically). Remember that everyone --- no matter how smart, successful, intimidating, good looking, affluent, etc -- everyone shits, sweats and sneezes at the end of the day.

you said you are in your late 20s and you are questioning your existential purpose - not knowing what direction you want in your life, and what you are passionate about, to pursue. This is very common and people go through it in various stages in their lives. Count your blessing in that you are in your 20s and still have the luxury of time to find something you can put your energy on.

So many people go through what you are going through (i did too) - it's so common that there are countless books, videos, blogs, etc about it.

If I may recommend -- there's a book that is an easy read that is regarded as very helpful in uncovering one's strengths, to help them find a career/pursuit. It's called What Color is Your Parachute here's a link to it: https://g.co/kgs/bfyEz7

You might also want to try online personality tests to uncover your strengths and find what you can align to. These are exams used in business school so students can find their area of interest and for leadership alignment -- there are FREE versions of these tests but of course the PAID versions are more thorough. A lot of jobs also ask candidates to take these exams to see if candidates fit in their corporate culture/the role.

You might want to google the following:

Strengthsfinder
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator also called as MBTI

By knowing what your strengths are, you can find a career/passion/pursuit that suits you. I know it was very helpful to me and I hope it helps you too. It helped me understand why i was unhappy with certain people/interactions, and why i was happier in others. It also helped me understand my behavior in social settings.

For example, under MBTI, my personality is a strong INFP (Introverted - iNtuitive - Feeling - Perceiving) which is described in brief here:
https://www.16personalities.com/infp-personality ...there's further/more detailed analysis on this, which I also happen to know for myself because I took the paid version as a requirement in grad school. Anyway, it helped me make sense of my motivations, my behaviors, etc. etc. 

Maybe if you give these a try, you could find the passion within yourself? Take it easy bro.. it's not the end of the world and you can get over this!

Good luck! Hope you share what your MBTI personality is -- it's fun to discuss! =)

[adrianne1]

I sought professional help. I had two therapists, one was a psychologist, and the other was a psychiatrist who wrote me prescriptions.

That was my routine for a couple of months. I met with them once a week, until it petered down to once a month. It was expensive, yes. But I dont know how I could have survived without them.

[kvandenhaak]

^^I took the test. I am a Logistician (ISTJ-T).

88% Introverted
51% Observant
53% thinking
89% Judging
54% turbulent

But it's all Greek to me though!

[Half_Lifer26]

Hi sis lalee888.. Thank you so much for the advise and the links that you provided..

I answered the 16 personalities test and I got  ?The Mediator? (INFP-T)"

Individual traits:
Introverted ? 78%,
Intuitive ? 63%,
Feeling ? 67%,
Prospecting ? 64%,
Turbulent ? 76%
Role: Diplomat
Strategy: Constant Improvement

Natuwa ako sa results.. Pati sa mga sample na binigay.. Hehe.. Thank you Sis for these advice and links.. Will sure read more about these Personality test to know more.. Hehe.. 

[lalee888]

^Hope it did help you discover your own self (it's a first step)

The first link i posted is a more novelty-based approach to MBTI. The official website, in case you want to read up officially about it, is this:

http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/home.htm?bhcp=1

You guys can google your Type Indicator and read up on description about it, there's a lot of resources online about these, then you can also see famous people with similar types. If you take the Strengthsfinder test, it gives you your natural strengths and gives examples of industries/careers/professions you can thrive in. The MBTI, read with strengthsfinder, is a very useful tool also used by life coaches.

Btw, bro - remember that the feeling you described (lost/no motivation) is more common than you think. My physical therapist was a lawyer until he was 40 and decided to go back to school to be a Physical Therapist. He made a lot of money as a lawyer but was unhappy and realized he liked to help others through healing by touch, hence. You have famous actors who later decide to drop showbiz for privacy reasons, and became entrepreneurs. There's Shaq O'neal who in spite of his basketball fame and financial stability was not content and wanted to finish college, even at a later age. It happens to everyone. If they did it (find themselves), so can you bro = )

Good luck!

[realmofadreamer]

I opened a new thread here: https://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php?topic=296987.0

Also @sis lalee888, thank you!!
I tried the 16 personalities test and I'm also a Mediator. I think makakatulong siya sa akin lalo na ngayon na plano ko magchange ng career.

[peaceinsolitude]

I was an INTJ now an ENFP-T

I am an ambivert. I like people and talking to people to an extent and would go the extra mile to avoid talking at times.

I think I need to go to get help. I have a hard time getting sleeep then I wake up really early. There are times I feel normal then biglang naooverwhelm ako sa nothingness na nararamdaman ko... like there's a hole in my chest that feels heavy. I like living but at the same time it feels tiring and empty.. when im anxious I get suicidal thoughts. Like I see myself slashing my arms and it's not something I want but it becomes my default thought when I do something I think is wrong or I remember something I could've done better. It scares me but I don't have a lot to spend. I cant afford spending more than 1k sa doctor.  Please could someone help?

I don't know why I feel this way. Last time it happened I was on medical leave and I was told that feeling depressed is quite common when you're idle. I am not.. I am a happy person pero biglang it's like I'm in a tunnel of intense darkness with no hope just unending darkness.

I try to distract myself pero I'm  tired I really am.

[iluvescadasport]

I think I need to go to get help. I have a hard time getting sleeep then I wake up really early. There are times I feel normal then biglang naooverwhelm ako sa nothingness na nararamdaman ko... like there's a hole in my chest that feels heavy. I like living but at the same time it feels tiring and empty.. when im anxious I get suicidal thoughts. Like I see myself slashing my arms and it's not something I want but it becomes my default thought when I do something I think is wrong or I remember something I could've done better. It scares me but I don't have a lot to spend. I cant afford spending more than 1k sa doctor.  Please could someone help?

I don't know why I feel this way. Last time it happened I was on medical leave and I was told that feeling depressed is quite common when you're idle. I am not.. I am a happy person pero biglang it's like I'm in a tunnel of intense darkness with no hope just unending darkness.

I try to distract myself pero I'm  tired I really am.

sorry to hear what you are going through. =( It's a relief to know that you are asking for help, it means you are aware sa situation mo. When I was searching for psychiatrist and psychologists before, the rate was 1500 and up pero private clinic. I heard there are some in PGH, maybe mas cheaper. I do know of one church (CCF in Tiendesitas)  who offers one on one talk after each mass. Parang the guide there can pray with you. If you don't want to pray, you can just talk to him/her. They also offer free counseling, I'm not sure what day lang. My sister went before, but you have to have someone to go with you.

For the meantime, please please please do listen to positive affirmations. It can help you. It's not a instant result, pero start planting in your subconscious mind all the positive affirmations. Also, cut back on refined sugar, caffeine and nicotine .I know this sounds weird kasi food yan. But I learned (I'm currently taking nutritional diet kasi) na these food can cause negative emotions.
Also, listen to youtube videos.

Below is a video I can recommend which helped me during my "self-discovery" phase. I renamed "Depression" to self-discovery kasi wording is important talaga.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw3NyUMLh7Y&t=7s

Also, try to check mindvalley.com, they offer free masterclasses on different aspects in life. I believe na yun mga nararamdaman natin, it's because of something that we think is wrong sa life natin, so effect nyan is pwede yun mga nararamdaman and naeexperience mo.