how to deal with depression

[iluvescadasport]

^sorry to hear that, sis =( Always remember that we have a choice. Having no choice is still a choice.  I went through a similar thing where I felt I'm not worthy and no mood to live. I listened to self love affirmations sa youtube, try mo din baka magwork. I also read DAniel Chidiac's "Who SAys you can't,? You Do". Super helpful siya.

Open up your heart and mind for a better change. It's hard pero kaya mo yan. It will not happen overnight, but positive change will happen. It took me 2 years. It took my friend 4 years. Sa iba, I'm sure longer pa. What's important is never give up.

[zee87]

Am i depressed?

I feel empty lately. parang wala kong emotions about everything. para kong flat line. parang i just do things kasi yun na yung routine ko. I find doing small things exhausting. Ayoko ng ganitong feeling. I keep on checking myself why i feel empty/sad. Pero di ko talaga alam kung san nanggagaling yung feeling na ganito. I am living abroad with my daughter, di naman ako nahohome sick. It has been almost a year since I separated from my partner and I know it's the best decision Ive made so far. I signed up for online dating, i deleted my account after 2 weeks. I am grateful for everything that I have. Pero bakit kaya parang empty pa rin ako? Depress ba ako?

[kvandenhaak]

Do you still enjoy doing things that you used to enjoy? Consult a doctor for better diagnosis.

[zee87]

Di na nga e. I used to love going out... visiting parks, camping, etc... pero ngayon di na ko naeexcite. parang I am just doing things because I have to and as courtesy to people around me. Wala na yung excitement. Somehow I am afraid to lose myself kasi I have a daughter to take care of.

Gusto ko sana maresolve to on my own... Ayoko muna magdoctor. Iniisip ko nga baka nag iinarte lang ako? lol! I felt the same way last year as well. Pero it's more because I want to get out of the relationship that I was in. E ngayon wala na yung factor na yun...

[tey_roch19]

Di na nga e. I used to love going out... visiting parks, camping, etc... pero ngayon di na ko naeexcite. parang I am just doing things because I have to and as courtesy to people around me. Wala na yung excitement. Somehow I am afraid to lose myself kasi I have a daughter to take care of.

Gusto ko sana maresolve to on my own... Ayoko muna magdoctor. Iniisip ko nga baka nag iinarte lang ako? lol! I felt the same way last year as well. Pero it's more because I want to get out of the relationship that I was in. E ngayon wala na yung factor na yun...

^ try to do something na hindi mo pa nagawa. break the habit. nakakabore naman talaga kasi.

[zee87]

baka nga bored lang ako noh? Mag sky dive kaya ako? lol

[Rory_Lorelie_Gilmore]

^Hi, have you tried working out? It helped me A LOT during my darkest phase.

[glamorosa_09]

@zee

Based sa post mo, somehow, nakakarelate ako, but I'm not sure if I really get you.

Minsan I feel empty, lonely, and walang gana sa buhay despite the fact that I have a lot of things, relationships, and privileges to be grateful about. Minsan iniisip ko, naghahanap lang ba ako ng wala sa aken? Parang na-aapply ko na sya sa buong buhay ko. And minsan, I reflect about death.

In my case naman, as far as I'm aware, wala akong triggers (recent or childhood), so I theorized na part ng personality or physiological make up ko yung depressive symptoms. Neuroticism can be biological. So these negative emotions  in my case are like dark clouds in the sky, darating at aalis. I tested my theory.

I downloaded a mood tracker app which reminds me at least 3 times a day to input my current mood. From the almost 2 months of entry, I found out na mas marami yung entries ko ng positive or neutral ang emotions/feelings ko. Pero meron ding mga wala gana sa buhay, empty, anxious. Kahit na mas konti sila, during those states, ang negative ng mood at thoughts ko talaga. Add to these, may pagka deep na rin ako since adolescent eh.

From the entries I have from that app, objectively, nakita ko na dumarating at lumilipas nga yung negative emotions ko. So everytime na dumarating yung dark clouds, hindi na ko deeply nag-aanalyze. Sabi kasi nila, thoughts affect your emotions (by emotions, I mean yung something na nararamdaman ng katawan like feeling/sensation of emptiness). But in light of the mood-congruent theory, pwede ring mauna yung bodily emotions (eg feeling of emptiness), tapos saka ka makaka-isip ng kung ano-anong negative thoughts para lang mabigyan ng cause yung emotions mo (eg wala kang friends). Tapos nung nagkaron ka naman ng bagong friends, na feel mo ulit ang emptiness, may maiisip ka ulit na panibagong rason.

So ako, I just accept it as it is. Sometimes, I close my eyes and focus on the feelings/emotions themselves without trying to change it, which is called mindfulness. Sometimes I distract myself by eating sweets, reading spiritual books, watching, etc. Maganda nga rin yung exercise, kaya lang tamad ako. I noticed mas nafifeel ko yung depressive mood nung nagkaanak ako. Siguro kasi I have fewer time and opportunities to cope, unlike nung single ako, I have a lot of time for solitude.

But this is just me. Merong iba na may triggers talaga ang depressive symptoms nila na dapat i-address. About you sis Zee, you mentioned na galing ka sa previous relationship na gusto mong makawala. I don't know kung ano yun and how recent, in a way siguro you didn't leave unscathe? Anyway, it's for you to think about.

Napasarap na naman ako sa pag-share. Anyway, in sum, depressive moods can be personality based, especially yung walang triggers, na kailangan mo pang mag-analyze bakit ganun feelings mo. Merong symptoms na may triggers which need to be addressed, meron ding clinical depression na kailangan na ng professional help.

[kvandenhaak]

Maybe try to change in your routine? And yes, if you must skydive, do it. I am not sure kung ilang taon ka na pero in my case, midlife crisis din siguro. So, I changed my routine. I got rid of people na wala namang contribution sa productivity and improvement ko. I made new friends, I jot down long term and short term goals. This is not recommended but I was fine kahit walang karelasyon but I did it kahit hindi ganon ka-serious (I am not saying sleep around though...lol! Do it within reasons.) Maybe do some volunteer works. Travel more and make memories.

Pero I still recommend consulting a doctor. At least whatever you are going to do, aligned sya sa therapy that your doctor will recommend.

[zee87]

^Hi, have you tried working out? It helped me A LOT during my darkest phase.

I am actually considering this. So i'm scouting gyms near our place. Hopefully I can start soon.

@glamorosa_09 Ang haba sis. hahaha! pero binasa ko. I am a happy person... Yun sabi sa akin ng mga nakakasama ko. I bring positive vibes daw when I smile. Pero minsan naiisip ko, im just being nice kasi I want to avoid conflict. This feeling started last year lang. It scares me na baka depression nga ito. May ganun ba na later in our life na nattrigger yung sakit?

@kvandenhaak I consulted a doctor yesterday but he's a GP. Pinablood test nya ako. Kailangan daw muna macheck yung organics before nya ako irefer sa specialist. Nahihiya pa nga ako sabihin... pero I had to.  Buti na gets nya agad ako. He asked if I have problems daw with family, work and relationship. Sabi ko wala naman. kasi wala naman talaga. So yun bloodtest muna then we will take it from there.

[glamorosa_09]

@Zee

LOL.. Oo nga napasarap ako sa kwento...

Anyway, regarding your question, wala namang age pinipili ang depression. Pero itong depression, spectrum din ito, from the depression experienced by everyone to the clinical ones, depending on the number of your symptoms, severity, and frequency. You may experience symptoms, but not enough to be diagnosed. But since it makes you worried, at least you're beginning to address it na. Syempre, it's the mental health professionals naman talaga who can really evaluate you, pati yung behavioral attributes mo. So it can help clear your worry, and if you have a diagnosis, you can have a treatment plan customized for you.

Sa ngayon, you're being checked by a GP. Medical conditions need to be ruled out sa diagnosis ng depression. So yeah, see how it goes. If in case you meet psychiatrist/psychologist, you may not be able to identify what led you to feel that way, they will ask you leading questions naman, at marami pang iba. Meron ka naman makukuha for sure.

[hisana]

Baka the beginnings of an existential crisis?

[zee87]

@glamorosa_09 napapansin ko nga kasi na parang i feel down pero wala naman dahilan. I feel so sad at times na ang hirap hirap for me makimingle. Tapos yun nga, nararamdaman kong ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko pero wala naman akong sakit.

@hisana nigoogle ko sis... Di pa naman ako napahinto at napaisip kung anong purpose ko sa buhay. I have a daughter so Im sure my purpose is to live long and norture her. Yun yung bigla ko natakot na bakit ganito pakiramdam ko, na baka there's more to it na pwedeng maapektuhan yung isip ko. I tried ignoring it pero it doesnt help.

[iluvescadasport]

Am i depressed?

I feel empty lately. parang wala kong emotions about everything. para kong flat line. parang i just do things kasi yun na yung routine ko. I find doing small things exhausting. Ayoko ng ganitong feeling. I keep on checking myself why i feel empty/sad. Pero di ko talaga alam kung san nanggagaling yung feeling na ganito. I am living abroad with my daughter, di naman ako nahohome sick. It has been almost a year since I separated from my partner and I know it's the best decision Ive made so far. I signed up for online dating, i deleted my account after 2 weeks. I am grateful for everything that I have. Pero bakit kaya parang empty pa rin ako? Depress ba ako?

I saw this online, you may want to check it out:
http://blog.thejuntoinstitute.com/the-junto-emotion-wheel-why-and-how-we-use-it

I'm not an expert doctor on that, pero I have a similar experience. Feeling of emptiness is not depression but it could lead to depression. One thing I strongly advise is you seek counsel (I avoid the term doctor kasi there are doctors who will prescribe you medicine and i STRONGLY disagree with that. Kasi ang daming alternative pwede ngayon na hindi medicine).

 I signed up for online dating, i deleted my account after 2 weeks. <--- Don't sign up for stuff like that unless you have a clear vision of what you want in life. Usually kasi kapag ganyan, it could be sign of loneliness or desperation for something. Don't let online dating be the solution for something that you are missing (whatever it is). Contrary to popular belief, we should be happy first with ourselves (yun tipong kahit single ka and you don't have much in life, kailangan authentic happy ka) before we seek having a partner. Having a partner is like a cherry on a top na lang. I forgot who said it, but the person said yun sa movie na JErry maguire when tom cruise said "You complete me" dun sa girl, it's complete BS. People shouldn't complete us. We should be complete by ourselves.

 I am grateful for everything that I have. Pero bakit kaya parang empty pa rin ako? <--- Try to watch youtube videos about gratefulness. I think you have a different meaning of grateful kaya you still feel empty.

Another suggestion also. When we get lost in track of our life, it usually means nawawala focus natin sa vision natin sa life. What is your vision in life. If you know what it is, things will be simpler (Simple, not easy). Kasi once you know your vision, yun ang nagpupull sayo everyday. Dun ka kukuha ng lakas kasi you would want to fulfill your vision.

Last suggestion, I hope you don't mind. =) Try watching videos from mindvalley.com  When I hit rock bottom and almost committed suicide 2x, yun mga videos dun nag help sakin. I went through what you went through also yun parang routine na lang everyday, parang no positive feeling, ganun.

[iluvescadasport]

zee87

Frankly speaking, you don't need a doctor to confirm if you feel depressed or not. if you feel it, it is real. Emotions are interpreted differently for different people. Labels lang yan. What's important is how you deal with it. Think of it this way, kung hindi yan depression, will you ignore it? Of course not! so labels aren't important. Important is you know something's wrong, and you will take massive actions to deal with it.

I strongly advise na deal with the root of the problem also. I have tried yun solutions lang, but I wasn't able to deal with the root of the problem kaya parang hindi ako maka-move on sa mga emotions ko. Once I dealt with the root cause, mas may light na sa end of the tunnel haha Kasi if solutions lang like ranting, journaling, workout, keeping yourself busy with other tasks, the main cause will keep on haunting you.

My friend tried psychiatrist or psychologist, kaso hindi nya feel kasi may binibigay na gamot. She went to theta healing, naresolve niya root cause. Ngayon, ang gaan ng feeling. You can go for counseling (CCF christian church has this for free, pero syempre their help will be based on their belief). Ako, I went to theta healing. Gusto ko una psychiatrist din, kaso ayun nga, meron gamot kaya nagback out ako. So nag theta healing ako, effective naman. Others  go through yun abundance block.

[kvandenhaak]

I forgot na I am not clinically depressed. Anxiety disorder nga pala yung sa akin so what works for me may not necessarily work for people with depression. But working with your doctor is still the best option instead of self-diagnosis. Hindi lahat bibigyan ka ng pills to deal with it. I don't take pills for my anxiety and I manage. Just find a doctor that's willing to work with you to find the cause of your problem.

[glamorosa_09]

It is true, it is just labels actually. But in her case, she couldn't identify the root of the problem, and therefore she doesn't know how to deal with it. Epidemiology of depression is an interplay between temperament, environment, and genetics (same as other mental conditions). Pag professionals, they have backgrounds and trainings para umikot-ikot sa mga yan. And then depende kung anong lalabas sa assessment. Baka mamaya hindi pala depression. Eh meron din syang pending result ng check-up.

Hmmm... Dito sa Pinas only psychiatrists prescribe meds, psychologists naman mostly rely on psychotherapy and other therapeutic modes.  Pero yeah, medyo stigmatized pa nga dito sa Pinas yung visiting mental health professionals.

Anyway, nasa ibang bansa sya eh.

[lalee888]

Sisses there is a lot of great advice and inputs here. i also share most of the views and practical advice here like hitting the gym, being personally happy and fulfilled first (not being 'completed' by another person). I'm also a firm believer of holistic healing/self-help and only use medication (in general) as a last resort or when the benefits outweigh the risks.

I do want to be cautious though and still respect science and professional expertise on mental health. There is a term called clinical depression and it can only be diagnosed by doctors - it includes all the symptoms listed here (but it is not exclusive so just because you have some symptoms, does not mean you are clinically depressed).

My view is that people should seek expert advice, sometimes a second or third professional opinion, so they are not second-guessing themselves. After you get a diagnosis or professional opinion, it is up to you how you  want to treat it/your best course of action. You don't have to adapt the course of treatment your doctor prescribes, and you can ask your doctor for treatment options too. No doctor forces a treatment plan on someone, in fact a good doctor usually encourages a patient to seek a second opinion (this applies mostly for aggressive diseases like cancer).

Not all doctors will prescribe anti-depressants, and not all anti-depressants are 'bad' for you. I've seen/known countless people take anti-depressants alongside once-a-week therapy sessions and they have been helped and of course get off the medication. A good doctor will give you a treatment plan that starts you slow, then weans you off of it. Most doctors will not want you to be on drugs forever.

Some forms of depression are chemical imbalances in the body and you can not treat a chemical imbalance with 'exercise' or 'hanging out with friends.' Only through approved drugs (approved because they have been studied and went through the academic/regulation process) or if you want, you can always try alternative medicine like homeopathy, biofeedback. acupuncture, ayurvedice, etc. One UNRELATED example (of Scientific Medicine vs Alternative Medicine) is hormonal imbalance in women -- this can be treated by taking birth control pills (that regulates hormones), or alternative/natural medicine like Evening Primrose Oil (which works for some but not all and does not work on severe imbalances, but is a common folk knowledge to help regulate hormones).

A lot of doctors personally support alternative medicine but are NOT legally allowed to prescribe them because it is not their area of expertise/study and these treatments have not yet been validated through scientific study. Doctors can only prescribe/treat through scientifically proven/studied methods. (Oath)

I know i regurgitated a wall of text here, it's just that i think mental health should be treated the same way we treat physical health. I understand the factors (socio-economic) that drive mental health in the back-burner in the Philippines. But it is a real thing, hindi yan 'feelings' or 'emotions' lang. And it manifests itself in many forms. I would still encourage people to seek professional advice and also take the good advice here -- exercise, for example, is good for everyone regardless of their mental condition (depressed or not). Being happy on your own before seeking a partner, is good advice for everyone, regardless of their mental condition. A professional can give more precise diagnosis that we in the forum do not see --- what if you have a chemical imbalance, or what if (God-forbid) there is a cyst that is growing somewhere and has blocked the natural chemical processes in the body causing someone healthy to be suddenly depressed? The practical advice here will not be able to treat that. Only a doctor can see/treat that.

[kvandenhaak]

You can't go wrong with exercise though. My doctor told me that there's a study that exercise has the same effect as SSRI. However, the problem is getting the motivation to exercise. Together with other remedy, whether pills or natural method, I think exercise is a good idea.

I have friends who are taking pills for their anxiety and depression. Iba iba kasi ang katawan so what works for others might not work for you. You just have to try whatever works.

I don't exactly know what depression feels like. Like I said, I have anxiety disorder. Pero magpinsan yan eh. So treatment are probably similar. I am happy and contented with my life pero me mga attacks na out of the blue na kahit ang ganda ganda ng araw mo bigla aatake...kaloka!

[zee87]

Thank you so much for the overwhelming response. I appreciate all your inputs. I asked if I am depressed kasi nga yung feeling na biglang ang bigat bigat ng pakiramdam ko na parang ang lungkot lungkot ko tapos yung mga times na yun nga, grabe yung feeling ng emptiness tapos wala naman dahilan. Sabi ko nga, I am usually a happy person. So hopefully this is just something na dadaan lang, lilipas lang.

I sought a doctors advice kasi ganun kabigat yung nararamdaman ko ng mga panahon na yun. Scary kasi bakit bigla ka na lang makakaramdam ng emptiness and sadness when everything around you is in place, organized, there's a little chaos but can be handled.

So ngayon, i think im OK, not extremely happy but di ko pa naman ulet nararamdaman yung ganun. But I will still go back to the doctor to check the result of my bloodtest. Lately, I spend more time talking to my little chatterbox, sobrang daldal nya feeling nya lahat ng tumingin sa kanya sa school may crush sya kanya. lol I know, she's enough reason for me to live and enjoy life.