how to deal with depression

[hisana]

I agree, I think situational yung nararamdaman mo (although I think sis that you should get yourself checked if you think this is clinical depression already, because if it is, you need serious help). I know siguro gasgas na sabihin ito, but you're still too young to feel that hopeless about your life/career. When I was your age, may stage din ako na ganyan, na akala ko iyon na yung buhay ko. How very, very wrong I was. Sabi nga di ba, success is never final, failure is never fatal. Literally anything can happen, your life can turn around in a couple of years, or months even. Ang daming successful people in their 30s and beyond who struggled in their 20s. Ganyan talaga ang buhay...challenging. So hang in there. Think of new possibilities kung feeling mo nasa dead end ka na. Get out of your comfort zone.

[jamimi29]

Help me naman mga sis, hindi ko na kasi talaga alam ang gagawin ko. I wasn't diagnosed with depression pero feeling ko meron ako nito. Sobrang lungkot ko to the point na iniisip ko na sana mamatay na lang ako, na sana may tragic na mangyari na lang sakin, pakiramdam ko kasi wala akong direction sa buhay. I'm only 22 years old, I graduated college when I was 19 and I haven't been employed since. Ginawa ko after ko gumrad tumulong ako sa mga magulang ko sa business namin. Pero hindi na ako masaya, nagsasawa na ako to the point na tamad na akong bumangon araw-araw, naiisip kong mag-apply pero hindi ko alam kung paano ako magsisimula

Iniiwasan ko na din social media (fb at ig) kasi eveytime na mag-oopen ako puro achievements ng iba nakikita ko, at dun lalo nagiging severe yung depression ko. Help me naman mga sissies, hindi ko alam kung ano gagawin ko para maging better na ako. I'm so lost right now :/

Hi Sis. Hindi rin ako expert dito, but I can share my experiences nung mga times na feeling ko depressed din ako.

There was a time na sobrang parang naging alcoholic pa ako, heartbroken ako non and sobrang sakit talaga sa feeling na halos every night, nagiinom kami ng friends ko. Wala rin ako ganang pumasok sa office, gusto ko matulog or mag stay lang sa bahay palagi, tapos ginawa ko, nag search ako online ng symptoms ng depression, and tumugma sya sa state ko non, alcohol abuse, walang gana sa lahat ng bagay, feeling lost. and etc..

What I did was pray. I prayed to God na sana tanggalin na nya yung pain na nararamdaman ko that time. Feeling ko rin non walang direction na buhay ko. Kasama ng prayers yung pag divert ng attention ko to things na gusto ko, like yung simpleng pag watch ng videos ng mga cute dogs, or pag gawa ng mga DIY na bagay, in that way kasi parang mage-gain mo ulit yung pagkakaroon mo ng interest sa isang bagay. Hanggang sa one day, nafeel kong okay na ako. Hindi na ako nag iinom araw araw (to the point na hindi na ko umiinom, occasionally nalang), tapos I regained my happy self again. Super jolly person kasi ako kaya nung nahurt ako ng sobra, parang hindi ko kaya.

Basta prayers lang sis! I'll pray for you as well

[iluvescadasport]

Help me naman mga sis, hindi ko na kasi talaga alam ang gagawin ko. I wasn't diagnosed with depression pero feeling ko meron ako nito. Sobrang lungkot ko to the point na iniisip ko na sana mamatay na lang ako, na sana may tragic na mangyari na lang sakin, pakiramdam ko kasi wala akong direction sa buhay. I'm only 22 years old, I graduated college when I was 19 and I haven't been employed since. Ginawa ko after ko gumrad tumulong ako sa mga magulang ko sa business namin. Pero hindi na ako masaya, nagsasawa na ako to the point na tamad na akong bumangon araw-araw, naiisip kong mag-apply pero hindi ko alam kung paano ako magsisimula

Iniiwasan ko na din social media (fb at ig) kasi eveytime na mag-oopen ako puro achievements ng iba nakikita ko, at dun lalo nagiging severe yung depression ko. Help me naman mga sissies, hindi ko alam kung ano gagawin ko para maging better na ako. I'm so lost right now :/

almost similar case tayo. i was 30 when I felt my "great depression" and i felt na too late na ako kasi it seems everyone around me are "happy" and settled in their life.

what helped me is my desire to live. you have to change your mindset and encourage yourself to live. kasi once settled yan, mas open and encouraged ka to find ways to fight your depression. Not checking your social media is also a good step, kasi alam mo nakaka-add yan sa depression mo. get rid of everything that contributes to your depression. when i terminated my fb account, masmagaan yun feeling ko, but hindi parin totally resolved depression ko, but it is a good start. mas aware na rin ako now sa social media, like blocking certain people sa twitter. tapos ig ko puro following mga positive quotes.

what did u study back in college? did u like it? if yes, try to continue or have refresher course, kahit online. if not, try different things to discover what u want.

it also helps if you are surrounded with positive people and those who encourages you. avoid those na puro negative thoughts, kahit family pa yan, it doesnt help talaga.

exercise and sports help din, been there done that.

[iluvescadasport]

mga sis, i hope u can give suggestions sa pwede kong gawin. Lately depressed din ako,  feel ko situational din. whenever I'm with my family, i  feel depressed. i feel guilty nga kasi sabi i should be thankful kasi may family naman. unfortunately, iba ugali ng parents ko. old generation culture, thinking nila is sila ang tama kasi sila nakatatanda and I live under their roof. lahat ng gawin ko, kahit simple stuff, negative comments. positive lang if it is to their standards. like yun sa shampoo, sinasabihan ako bakit yan yun brand na gamit ko and hindi yun brand ng gamit ng mom ko. pati friends, bakit ganyan nationality and hindi nationality nila.

dati naisip ko baka big generation gap lang. meron 3-5 years na i did my best to be patient with them, share my generation's culture din and tried to explain why we think this way. i did all that without disrespecting their culture. but i guess napuno na ako, and actually mashindi ako nagimprove as a person when i wasclose with my parents. mas depress and nagkaroon pa ako ng anger issues against them.

honestly i dont know how to handle it. goal ko is to move out talaga, kaso hindi naman kaya financially. yun mga sinuggest ko above sa fellow sis, nagawa ko din pero kailangan wala ako sa bahay pag nageexercise. pati exercise ko ginagawan ng issue. 2x na nangyari na i wanted to end my life but fortunately, my want and desire  to live won. mon to sat, work ko sa family business so everyday i hear their negativity in life. sunday, pinagpipilit pa na family time. sometimes, parang nightmare feel ko. parang yun isang movie na you wake up everyday where everything around you is literally the same

[Rory_Lorelie_Gilmore]

^ Sis sorry to hear that, I suggest kung meron ka naman maski konting konting income subukan mo muna lumayo sakanila, such as crashing sa place ng closest friends mo, or relatives perhaps? Meron din mga bed spacer (as low as 2k all in) you can choose the location na malapit sa work para yung fare mo iconvert mo nalang as rent, or maki share sa room space, a lot cheaper than renting your own place. Matuto ka pa maging independent. Masubukan mo lang and just to keep your sanity intact. Talk to a friend or a confidante, kung hinde mo na talaga kaya ugali ng parents mo, write a letter and lumayo ka muna for sometime baka in that way marealize pa nila mga mistakes nila, may siblings ka ba? Possible ba kausapin parents mo? Or sarado talaga sila?

My brother and I experienced that sa parents lalo na meron certain age na super nag clash talaga anak at magulang, luckily we both experienced moving out, circumstances asked for it, our relationship got better, minsan kasi nagclash tayo sa parents natin dahil nagmamature na tayo as our own individuals meron na tayong different philosophies and ways na nagdiffer sa parents natin. Kaya din siguro sa US pag 18 ka na you really have be on your own na. I suggest you take a breather.

[britzm]

^^sorry to hear that sis. don't worry, hindi naman siguro forever jan sa sa parents mo mag stay. look forward na lang sa time na may own place ka na. i had the same problem with my mom before. super clash kami ng personalities. hindi din ako maka imik kasi sa isip ko nun, nakikitira lang ako. awa ng diyos, may sarili na akong place.. minsan nagiging biruan namin ngayon pag bumibisita ako sa kanila tapos parang naiirita ako ke mom, sasabihin ko edi palayasin mo ako. lol pero biruan lang talaga

ang issue ko ngayon is, anger management. feeling ko bipolar ako pero hindi ako properly assessed.
background: i was one year in medication sa depression and anxiety. i suddenly stopped dahil pregnant ako. may go signal ako sa ob ko na pag feeling ko need ko talaga gamot, balik daw ako sa psychiatrist ko. wag daw yung kinakaya na lang. personal choice ko naman, wag talaga mag medicate sa mental health ko at mag focus lang sa pregnancy.
ngayon, mga 2 months after itigil anti depression/anxiety ko, nafefeel ko yung lagi akong galit. tapos after nun, sobrang guilt feeling. apektado na rin yung family ko. lagi ko sila na veverbal abuse, napa iyak ko pa nga minsan mom ko. naawa talaga ako sa mga nasasaktan ko. kaya nagkukulong lang ako sa bahay. tapos nagkukulong ako sa bahay, yung boredom ko naman naiisip ko yung mga kinaiinisan kong relatives kunwari makakasalubong ko tapos may magaaway kami sa isip ko. sumasakit ulo ko then naiisip ko bawal kay baby ma stress. naiiyak na ako dahil wala ako mapag sabihan.
then i started watching cbt (cognitive behavior therapy) sa youtube kagabi lang. it was even better than my visits sa psychiatrist for one year. (anyway hindi naman dahil hindi magaling ang psychiatrist ko. more on gamot kasi ang psychiatrist, di tulad pag sa psychologist na mag ccounsel sayo) . somehow this worked for me. i still don't know hanggang kelan effective to sakin, pero ngayon parang i'm positive na makipag usap ulit kay mom and fix our relationship. eto muna ang option ko, saka na muna visit sa shrink.

[mindiegirl]

Hi sisses, asking for advice regarding my tito (na parang second father na din namin). Hindi ko alam kung depression na ba yung sakin nya or anong klase na. Nagstart 3 years after nyang mag retire (65 yo sya nag retire). Nagstart sa pag fail ng health nya. Hindi naman malala na sakit. Arthritis, joint pain, occasional high blood pressure. Yan mga usual nya nararamdaman. Di namin alam masyado ba nya dinibdib yung rayuma nya? Kasi umabot sa point na hindi na sya nag lalakad. In a span of 1 and 1/2 a year palungkot ng palungkot ang aura nya. Hindi sya napagkakatulog, palaging worried and anxious, malungkot, emotional. Matandang binata sya. Lahat na ata nainom nya para sa sumasakit nyang balakang. Nag pa pa acupuncture din sya, nag pa inject na din sya para sa sakit ng balakang nya. All to no avail. Parang mas lumala pa ngayon condition nya. Basta takot sya magkasakit at gusto nya perfect ang health condition nya. Tipong normal ang bp (hindi mababa hindi mataas gusto nya as in SAKTO!). Mahilig nyang basahin side effects ng mga gamot at kukwestiyonin nya nireseta ng doctor sa kanya. Mga sis grabe hindi na namin alam gagawin sa kanya.

Dahil sa dami ng iniinom nyang gamot syempre sasakitan na sya ng sikmura. Pati iyon dadagdag pa sa depression nya. Tapos nag va valium din sya para makatulog. Niresetahan na din sya ng nung oxcarbamazepine. Binasa ko, as mood stabilizer sya.

This past few months, sabi ng brother ko, bigla nalang daw iiyak. Parang nag se self pity. Tapos nagsasalitang mag isa. Minsan naman normal daw. May times pa na may sinasabi syang may nakikita syang tao na nasa bahay namin, pero wala naman, parang sya lang nakakakita. Sabi naman ng mom ko (sister nya), nagpapa pansin lang daw.

Dagdag ko na din pala na madalas napapagalitan na sya ng mga kapatid nya (isang compound lang kasi) dahil paulit ulit syang nagse self pity at nagdududa sa mga gamot nya at gusto nya lagi pumunta ng hospital o maka kausap ng doctor. Lalo tuloy syang malungkot.

Since kinasal ako, hindi na ako sa amin nakatira kaya once a week or minsan every two weeks nalang ako makauwi samin at makita sya. And every visit parang palala sya ng palala

Mga sis, baka may idea kayo or same experience na nangyayari sa tito ko. Nahihirapan kami makita syang ganon kasi siya halos ang nagpalaki samin at nag alaga (nasa abroad kasi tatay namin for the longest time). Gusto sana namin na gumaling sya. Parang napaka miserable ng buhay nya eh. Kung may ma re recommend din sana kayo na psychiatrist, yung as in nag ka counseling talaga. Tingin ko kasi iyon na yung need nya. Hope you can help me mga sis.

[kvandenhaak]

May anxiety disorder sa tingin ko. And the pain he feels is just a symptom of the disorder. Kasi ako ang dami kong nararamdaman like masakit dito, masakit dyan but pero negative naman lahat ng tests.

[hisana]

First thing that came to mind was that maybe he is anxious about his life now that retired na sya and senior citizen na? This transition can be truly overwhelming to some. And yes, health takes more effort to monitor once we're at that age. Baka he really is feeling something that is cause for alarm (haha, sorry, I just want to give people benefit of the doubt, hindi naman kasi tayo yung nasa kalagayan nila kaya we will never really know for sure). And the doctor who prescribed him valium and oxcarbazepine, ano pa ibang advice nya sa tito mo? Tell him or her that this regimen is not working, baka may iba pang approach na pwede. Yes, I think he will benefit from counseling nga. Ewan ko kung anong klaseng therapist or support group he will be receptive to, hiyangan din kasi minsan.

[mindiegirl]

^ and ^^ thank you sisses.

kvandenhaak, ganyan sa tito ko sis. Lahat naman ng tests negative eh. Ang ganda pa nga ng bp nya at his age kung tutuusin. Yung mga doctor nya hindi na sinasagot mga tawag nya. Nakukulitan na sa kanya.

hisana, tama ka din sis, and hoping din ako na hindi naman ganon pa kalala anxiety nya (kung meron man).

Yung isang neurologist/psychiatrist na pinupuntahan din nya sinabihan sya na ang lakas daw ng tama nya kasi once na inisip nya eh nararamdaman nya. Hindi na sya bumalik sa dr na yun. Ayaw nya dun kasi nga pinapagalitan sya. Kung meron kayo ma refer na psychologist/psychiatrist pa pm naman. I think ok pa din na ma check sya or makausap para ma assess din sya base sa sagot nya.

[iluvescadasport]

My brother and I experienced that sa parents lalo na meron certain age na super nag clash talaga anak at magulang, luckily we both experienced moving out, circumstances asked for it, our relationship got better, minsan kasi nagclash tayo sa parents natin dahil nagmamature na tayo as our own individuals meron na tayong different philosophies and ways na nagdiffer sa parents natin. Kaya din siguro sa US pag 18 ka na you really have be on your own na. I suggest you take a breather.

Ayun! thanks for mentioning "breather", yan yun term na matagal ko na iniisip haha thanks din sa mga suggestions. I weighed the pros and cons, and naconclude ko na mas madaming pros pa rin if I stay with my parents for now. I work sa family business din kasi, so kahit na umalis ako sa bahay, sila parin kasama ko sa work. buong office hours lang magdada mama ko. What I'm doing lately is since I can't be independent in a sense na hindi pa ako magmove out, I do it with my expenses as a start. Yun mga snacks ko and napkins, I pay for my own. Nakakahiya aminin, pero dati parents ko talaga nagbabayad nyan kasi nag-offer sila. But of course, I have to move on and prepare for the future na pag-alis ko sa bahay. Pinakachallenge for me ngayon is finding other work. I started learning stock trading, hopefully sana magwork out. And yun mga overnight deals online na discounted, I buy them. yun na ang pinakabreather ko talaga.

then i started watching cbt (cognitive behavior therapy) sa youtube kagabi lang. it was even better than my visits sa psychiatrist for one year. (anyway hindi naman dahil hindi magaling ang psychiatrist ko. more on gamot kasi ang psychiatrist, di tulad pag sa psychologist na mag ccounsel sayo) . somehow this worked for me. i still don't know hanggang kelan effective to sakin, pero ngayon parang i'm positive na makipag usap ulit kay mom and fix our relationship. eto muna ang option ko, saka na muna visit sa shrink.

Thanks for sharing your experience, sis! I'm downloading cbt sa youtube ngayon, baka maka-help din sa akin. since u have anger issues din, suggest ko is to avoid listening and watching "violent" music and shows. I don't know if may scientific evidence behind that, pero i'm a Christian and I always believe that the devil can influence you through the music or shows that you watch. Sad to say, there was a time na I was so addicted in watching tv shows na violent talaga, na umabot thinking ko na I want to kill my parents whenever I am irritated with them. Thank goodness napa-realize sa akin and I stopped watching those shows, mas naging calm ako. if wala kang mapagsabihan, try writing it down. it can be of help din.

Mga sis, baka may idea kayo or same experience na nangyayari sa tito ko. Nahihirapan kami makita syang ganon kasi siya halos ang nagpalaki samin at nag alaga (nasa abroad kasi tatay namin for the longest time). Gusto sana namin na gumaling sya. Parang napaka miserable ng buhay nya eh. Kung may ma re recommend din sana kayo na psychiatrist, yung as in nag ka counseling talaga. Tingin ko kasi iyon na yung need nya. Hope you can help me mga sis.

When retired, is he keeping himself busy? Sa mga naririnig ko kasi na mga kwento ng dad ko and his friends, pag matanda na and nasa retirement age na, hindi pwede walang ginagawa kasi masmasama sa mental and physical health. And, dati  pa ba na ganun ugali nya na nagself pity or all of that started lang nung tumanda siya? maybe it can be of help if someone is with him everyday. usually diba pag matanda, all they seek is company. sa ibang country kasi, meron mga "elderly activites" para hindi mabored mga matatanda. and to keep them mentally healthy din. sana meron din ganun. last suggestion, huwag sana pagalitan yun tito mo kasi 65 na siya. As much as we think na baka he's just overthinking everything, we can't blame him kasi yun nga, 65 na siya. siguro patience lang talaga on our part.

[iluvescadasport]

Share ko din yun mga nakahelp sakin these past few days. I started listening to Tony Robbins sa youtube. It helped me learned more about myself and on why there are times why I feel the way I am feeling and why certain people act like the way they are.  IT helps and calm me din.

[mindiegirl]

When retired, is he keeping himself busy? Sa mga naririnig ko kasi na mga kwento ng dad ko and his friends, pag matanda na and nasa retirement age na, hindi pwede walang ginagawa kasi masmasama sa mental and physical health. And, dati  pa ba na ganun ugali nya na nagself pity or all of that started lang nung tumanda siya? maybe it can be of help if someone is with him everyday. usually diba pag matanda, all they seek is company. sa ibang country kasi, meron mga "elderly activites" para hindi mabored mga matatanda. and to keep them mentally healthy din. sana meron din ganun. last suggestion, huwag sana pagalitan yun tito mo kasi 65 na siya. As much as we think na baka he's just overthinking everything, we can't blame him kasi yun nga, 65 na siya. siguro patience lang talaga on our part.

Wala syang hobby sis. As in nasa bahay lang sya. Factor nga din yun bakit sa nagka ganon. May nagbabantay naman sa kanya everyday. He also lives with my parents and 1 sibling. Pero walang activities syang ginagawa na yung tipong hindi talaga sya ma bo bore. Yes it started lang 3 years after retirement nya, nung nagsulputan na mga nararamdaman nya sa katawan. Yesterday dinalaw ko sya sa old house namin, dissapointed sya sa life nya ngayon kasi hindi daw sya makagalaw (due to rayuma). Yun yung nakakadepress sa kanya. Willing na din syang magpa counseling sa psychologist so on the look ako ngayon kung saan pwede.

[iluvescadasport]

^sis, you can try CCF din, church siya. it is free and they have different programs (not sure if meron for elderly though). they have counseling kasi. counselor nila meron degree on that and psychology degree din. pero cyempre, belief ng CCF iba from others. nagpacounsel dati dun kapatid ko, naghelp naman.

[mindiegirl]

^oh talaga sis! We attend ccf, kaso dito sa bulacan. Di ko alam na meron pala. Pero sigura sa ccf main. Mag inquire nga ako. Thanks sis!

[iluvescadasport]

^yup sa ccf main. dun nagattend yun kapatid ko. but maybe u can ask yun sa bulacan branch if the counselor can go there since senior na tito mo

[hisana]

Matagal na palang walang nagpopost dito. I guess good sign yun kasi wala na masyadong depressed?  Hehe.

Anyway, another thing that I do to get myself out of very very low moods  is nagbabasa ako ng articles about how other people were saved from suicide/stopped themselves at the last minute. Dami naman nyan kapag i-google. Ganda ng perspective ng iba, they really know what it's like.

[kvandenhaak]

^Baka too depressed to even post?

[mysterioza_me]

^^Ganyan ako sis kapag naglilikot na naman imahinasyon ko nagbabasa ako ng kung ano-ano or nanonood ako ng episodes ng Return of Superman (SoKor kids and dads show) for distraction. Nakakasaya sa mood ang mga bagets.

[hisana]

^^
Oh, pwede rin.  But I think GTers with anxiety/depression should really visit this thread, nakakatulong talaga sya, IMO. Magandang local support group. When I go into formal therapy, I will post here ng experiences ko, haha. I was actually thinking of lonely_dad the other day kasi parang problemado sya sa buhay. Hindi na nga yata sya nagpopost in GT. I hope he's okay.

^
Ah, yung mga reality shows ng mga koreanong bata? Haha, nakita ko nga yata yan sa FB, aliw nga sila. The dads are even more nakakaaliw.