how to deal with depression

[sopas]

hi, pwede ba makisali? i am feeling a lot better today than the past 3 days. i have started a journal now lang. i thought i was ok until 4 days ago, when nagkasabay sabay ang masama pakiramdam ko (headache, sipon), gutom, pagod, init, at eventually galit sa hubby.

i was lucky enough to have online friends na went thru the same me since pregnancy. we were pretty close and at this time nandito na kami sa stage na birthday parties ng mga bata. we have an ongoing chat for more than 6 months na and we talked about anything under the sun. marami kami more than 10 people there in the chat. 4 days ago, i ranted what i have been going thru and no one responded for i dont know, almost an hour. at the same time nag aaway na kaming mag asawa, and i was looking forward to read something fromthe chat man lang but none. i saw some seeing my message but no one replied. my hubby and i had a misunderstanding and sobra hurt ako. then seeing no one replied i said in the group chat. "wow. what a support group. thanks for not replying on my rant" then i left the conversation.

my misunderstanding with my husband lasted for more than 2 hours and even though he was apologising na i still cant control my feelings. i am so hungry , devastated that we haven't had a decent picture on my baby's 11th month because of our fight. then on my mind pa i was guilty and sad halo halo na when i left the chat. there were several people fromt hat chat who managed to send me private messages and apologised for not replying. when i gathered enough strength to sit up and stop crying i replied to them na "it's ok i understand that it is not your obligation to comfort me" one person replied accordingly, one didnt, and the last one blasted me out more questions and challenge like if i really understand daw i should have not leave and she felt offended kasi nag sorry na daw sya and isipin ko daw iba mas may mabigat pa prob sa kanya. then in aminute she said kung gusto mo ikaw bumalik sa chat ako na aalis. i accidentally pressed the part to view her profile and i saw in that instant she unfriended me. i said to her "that was fast. i saw you unfriended me" then she said afterwards i unfriend na nya lahat daw and she is leaving the chat. i just replied "ok if that is your decision"

during that time sobrang kabog na dibdib ko di ko na maintindihan bakit kailangan pa nya makisabay. nagkaayos na kami ng asawa ko in a while at kumain na rin ako gutom na gutom na ko nagpapabreastfeed pa ko and not feeling well.

well that last act by a supposed friend, the unfriending part, it took a toll on me. i really dont get it until yesterday one of the people part of the chat gave me an advice na not all are real friends. most chatters kasi in the chat ang message nila is magkakaayos din kayo, magiging maayos ka. para bang lahat ako may kasalanan. nag apologise na ko sa kanila. kasi narealise ko naman yung mali sa action ko. pero yung mag unfriend, parang ang hirap naman nun. di ko alam kung tama ba i add ko sya uli. i asked her in private message why did she unfriended me and wala sya reply. one common friend said na she did it daw to make way for me. hello? how can she make way when i already get out of the way before her exit? and i already told her na it is not about her. i cant fathom why she thought that way. i even do the part to ask her directly and still no reply. i have been crying for days since that happen kasi di ko matanggap why she did it. no we are not super duper close but i consider everyone in that chat as a friend. however the eyeopener advice na "not all are real friends" may be the best answer to this.

in a way, masama rin loob ko kasi i felt like they all thought i was the only problem. like i am the problem. makes me think to be more depressed actually. most advice that i seek medical help for that one blow. i thought they knew me better after pouring out almost all of my personal life.

now i am lost in cyberspace. as a sahm, with no much mommy friends around, a first time mome whose only consolation is going thru online,  my online world is limited. i can discount the fact that it hurts me seeing that person unfriending me all over my other friends' page and even posing a status publicly within this time "how lucky she is to found mommy friends" i dont really want to think she is doing this on purpose but looks like it is.

lesson learned for me is not to pour everything without leaving for yourself. im glad some member of the chat showed me a professional or maayos na disposition sa private messages but it left me doubtness now who amongst them are really my friends. maybe time to go back to my real friends - the one really tangible and have known me for decades.

sorry sa nobela, this is my way of letting it out. i hope in time i will have peace and even to that person too. maybe it is good riddance after all.

[khayzee]

i really dont know how to deal with this. Everytime na nakikita ko yung iba na ok sa buhay nila, career in particular, gusto ko umiyak. Bakit sila pwede, bakit ako, stuck na sa sitwasyon ko. 

[hyeuna03]

hi guys,

my suggestion for those who are dealing with depression... do not look for complicated solutions, go for the natural solutions like being with your family, friends and be with the people who will bring you up.

i firmly believe that depression is a disease of the soul. our supposed sweet and kind soul is not able to give and receive love anymore. when we are depressed, our hearts are too closed to allow ourselves the lightness of expressing a feeling; the heart is too closed and clings on to specific events that caused sadness, it's not able to express itself anymore.
 
When we are depressed, we lose hope.. It's this hope, when missing, that creates illness that involves the body; there may be some drugs which they say help a depressed person, however, hope is the only element that could bring to a full recovery.

i used to be very depressed before but with God's help and my willingness to recover, okay na ako ngayon.

the first thing i do in the morning, as soon as my feet touch the floor is i say "thank you Lord", then the rest of the day is magiging okay na talaga.

one more thing i want to share with you guys, tinuro sa akin ng spiritual adviser ko, to say these words over and over again the whole day "I AM WELL". napaka powerful ng words na ito.

[andy2014]

Hi. I hope you are feeling better today. I sometimes deal with depression too. I have a friend na clinical depressed and she tried to kill herself several times. May times na super depressed siya. And she has a doctor na tumutulong sa kanya.

It seems na you need someone to talk to. I hope you won't get me wrong, I will suggest that you seek professional help from a psychologist, pwede mo syang kausapin at tulungan ka sa problems mo. Nakikinig sila and suggest ways to deal with depression without taking medications. ( I think Psychiatrist yung ganon). Dito kasi sa atin may stigma ang pag punta sa psychologist. Sa ibang bansa eh typical yun.

Depression is here again, ang hirap pag walang nakakausap. Malayo ako sa mother ko and everytime i wanted to talk to her, di sya available. Career woman kasi sya. If sa sis ko naman sabihin, ang sagot lang nya marami din daw syang problems. Ang hirap kasi no one understand me. Iniiyak ko nalang. O minsan nagbabasa na lang ako ng mga juicy celeb's chismis para ma iba focus ko.. yaya at anak ko lang lagi ko kasama. Minsan pag sobrang irita ako nag aamok ako sa loob ng kwarto just to let out kung ano man tong nararamdaman ko.. everytime i wake up sa morning parang lagi ako nababahala..

Nung 4th year high school ako nag suicide na ako.. kasi nagalit sa akin both parents ko. May nagsabi na nkikipag boyfriend na daw ako, my dad slapped me pag dating ko palang galing school.. they didn't ask me if true or not, pumasok ako sa kwarto ko pero si mommy patuloy ako pinapagalitan, sa harap nya kinuha ko yung scalpel sa wallet ko and sliced my wrist infront of her.. ambilis ng pangyarari noon.
May scalpel ako dahil yung barkada ko nurse ang tita, kinukuha daw sa punlic hospitals para pang shave ng eyebrows..pinag sisihan ko na iyon. Buti nalang naagapan ako. But now, parang gusto ko matulog ng ilang years muna to escape from i dont know..

Hinahanap ko yung sinabi ng sis na gamot na ang side effect ay happy feeling di ko ns mahanap..

Naiintindihan nyo ba? Pls. Help me mga sis.

[vermich]

Hi mga sis? As I read this thread, many are saying support from family and friends, psychotherapy, anti depressant drugs, meditation and prayer, see a spiritual advisor/ psychologist. Medyo nahihirapan kami kasi pregnant ang sister ko, she was never depressed before or never diagnosed clinically depressed ever. And now she is in a catatonic- depressive state na. No emotions, doesn't talk as in wala. She doesn't even wince in pain kapag kinukuhanan sya ng blood sample and she despices needles, dati naiiyak na sya just for a flu shot. She's confined sa hospital kasi she tried committing suicide after learning the husband's infidelity tapos ginugulo pa sya nung mistress.

We are already in contact with a councelor/ psychologist and they are recommending anti- depressant drugs, pero when I read on it, maraming side effects yung meds for the unborn child. 4 months preggy sya now entering 5th. Meron ba dito na- depressed na preggy? What were the steps taken to ensure na healthy ang mom and baby lalo na if taking these anti- depressants?

I hope someone can help me on this. Thanks in advance!

[airish_2]

^on her case mahirap yan kasi she's pregnant but try to consult a doctor pa rin sa ngayon mas maganda kung kausapin nyo sya constantly tsaka wag nyo papanooran ng mga nakakadepress na palabas. dapat surrounded siya ng mga friends and family.

[alexsy]

ya. wag nyong iwan mag isa. kausapin mo lang kahit hindi sumasagot. kwento ka lang kahit parang monologue. malay mo may masabi ka tapos magsalita sya. kwentuhan mo ng masasaya, kwentong showbiz, mga nakakatawa at nakakatuwa.

[vermich]

@alexsy @airish_2 Thank you girls! Ganun ginagawa ko, hindi ko talaga sya iniiwan its just a good thing online ang job ko and doesn't require to go to the office. Puro kwento lang ako about jokes not even showbiz baka may maalala sya about infidelity or something.. hindi rin ako nagku kwento ng current events sa kanya. Although she's now looking at me when I talk tapos kanina she ate chicken soup that a friend made for her, she hasn't eaten since last tuesday we admitted her kasi.

Sabi nila wag muna pakita yung hubby nya who caused so much stress, as for me kahit papasukin sa room ayaw ko na. I'd rather that he deal with his own issues and the mistress first bago nya harapin sister ko. We refused the anti depressant naman and agreed to close monitoring her na lang muna. hindi talaga maganda effects sa unborn child lalo na its her 5th pregnancy tapos the rest miscarriage na.

[alexsy]

that's good. at least may konting improvement, kesa wala. pwede ka din mag introduce ng bagong hobby sa kanya para may pagkaabalahan naman sya kahit pano. at least ma divert ang isip nya. ano bang maganda? yung hindi delikado ha. wag cross stitching. delikado ang gamit non lol. kantahan siguro or drawing pero chalk? or using ipad siguro. or clay?  yung playdoh sa mga bata. buo buo sya ng shapes. baka therapeutic sa kanya.

[clyne1822]

yoga for pregnant?

[chuy]

How about going for a walk outside, preferably before 10 AM? Kasi ang alam ko sunlight can help fight depression or improve the mood. Kung ayaw, try opening the windows para kahit papaano may sunlight na pumapasok.

Meron din healthy snacks that can help boost the mood na good for preggy na rin such as bananas, dark chocolates, nuts, among others.

Nood din ng comedy movies or shows. Kung ano yung mga hilig nya dati, try lang isuggest na gawin. If mahilig sya manood ng funny Koreanovelas, nood lang kayo. Kahit nasa background lang kung ayaw manood. For distraction.

[sugardrop]

Early part of this month, I was depressed. Something triggered it pero halo-halo na yung reasons. I was crying all day and not even comedy flicks made me laugh. And bad as it may seem, I now have five scars on my left wrist and I'm not proud of it. I didn't try to kill myself - it was my very stupid way of channeling my emotional pain to something physical so the cuts weren't very deep. And then some people made me realize I should stop doing that. What I did to overcome that depression:

- prayed really hard to the point that I was literally on my knees
- wrote all the things that were causing it on a piece of paper, tore that paper into pieces and put them on 2-3 bottles of red horse (which also kept me company though I know it's not good), went some place isolated and threw those bottles with all my strength and hearing the bottles break, medyo gumaan pakiramdam ko like bits and pieces of my depression eh nasama sa pagkabasag nung mga bote
- iyak lang hanggang maubusan ako ng supply ng luha kahit di ko alam kung ano exactly yung iniiiyak ko (basta kailangan ng outlet)
- talked to certain individuals about my depression though I didn't exactly talk about the root cause
- and ultimately confronted the cause or what triggered the depression

And I think I got over it. No more crying ladies moments, no new cuts. Life's slowly getting back to normal.

[chuy]

Ako rin, I am a depressive. Childhood depression sabi ng psychiatrist. Madami kasi nangyari during childhood na nag-cause ng trauma and other psychological effects. Pero pag tignan ako, hindi mo malalaman na may experiences ako na ganun. I'm the type of person kasi who doesn't dwell on problems. Pero it shows pag sinusumpong ako ng depression. Hindi ako makausap, hindi ako gumagalaw, hindi ako kumakain. It can last for days.

Nung student ako, there was a time when I didn't go to school for almost a month. Pinalabas na lang na nagkasakit ako. During my last year of highschool, muntikan ako hindi maka-graduate dahil sa absences. Ganun na naman. Hindi ako makausap, hindi ako gumagalaw. Hindi ako nakakaramdam ng gutom. As in wala.

After a few years, on-off yung moments. The duration decreased but it's still there. Every month may episode. Then when I wanted to resign from my job of 5 years (dahil gusto ko lang mag-resign at ayaw ko na ng lahat), my boss advised me to go to a psychiatrist. Lo and behold, ang diagnosis nya is manic-depressive daw ako. Hindi ko lang daw napapansin ang manic episodes dahil akala ko normal yun. Pero hindi daw. (I almost became an alcoholic dahil sa mania, but that's off-topic and not related to depression.)

My boss wasn't surprised when I told her. She told me I reminded her of her sister, who was also a bipolar.

Anyway, I had to take lots of medications. I also did researches regarding depression lalo na kapag manic ako. Yun kasi yung time na ang dami ko gusto gawin pero feeling ko kulang ang oras. I helped myself. I tried every self-help for depressives. Eating healthy, going out for early morning sunlight, avoiding alcoholic drinks, hitting the sack early, surrounding myself with positive people, even volunteering to take care of pets (kasi pets daw can make you feel loved and special).

By the way, every after depressive episode, hindi ko maalala ano emotion ko while I was depressed. Wala. Para lang akong nasa black hole. Wala maalala. Parang wala nangyari. Sinasabi lang ng family ko na lagi nila ko kinakausap and all.

Now, I'm off the meds. Every time I feel a depressive episode coming, I get up and force myself to be brave and face the challenges of life (bago pa ko malunod sa black hole). It's normal to feel blue once in a while. What's not is to stay depressed and give up on life. Sabi nga ng iba: Hindi naman tayo bibigyan ng problema na hindi natin kaya. Kaya dapat laging matatag at meron faith na hindi tayo pababayaan.

[PinKisH_23]

I've had an episode back in December when I was all alone at home nung Christmas and New Year. Di kami ok ng hubby ko, grabe talaga buti nalang there were neighbors who were really helping me. Now I'm just in the process of recovering. After I got home from a vacation sa China, nanibago katawan ko tapos sunod sunod na trials. Nawalan pa ako work, yan ang primary cause ng depression ko. Dumating pa sa point na naiisip ko nalang na mag suicide, sabi ko may maghahanap kaya sa akin kung 1 day maisip ko nalang mag suicide considering mag isa lang ako sa bahay with 2 dogs. Until I decided to leave all my worries behind and I'm praying na magtuloy tuloy. May episode parin ng iiyak ako pag naalala ko current situation ko. Pero I'm fighting. I need your prayers mga sis.

[brave.soul]

Is anyone here battling with codependency as a cause for their depression? Are there any codependents here? What moves are you currently doing to battle with this? Please share your insights. Need help.

*I think this should be in a separate thread, but I'm not yet allowed to create one, so I posted the question here first. *

[sweet_cherry]

gusto ko lang umiyak ng umiyak sa sulok. minsan naiisip ko din I am tired and the people around me are finding it difficult to deal with me so might as well end it. you know, thoughts of riding a bus and magpunta sa ocean and antayin na lang yugn waves na kainin ka, or tumalon sa overpass.

I am not a happy person to begin with. Worry wart ako, pero I think kung may depression man ako it got worse when I took hormonal medicine para lumiit cyst ko (Visanne). Gusto ko na lang umiyak maghapon ang korny pero pakiramdam ko no one loves me. ang drama no? tapos pag sasabihin mo sa ibang tao yun din iisipin ang drama mo

[alexsy]

sa thread na to, ok lang mag drama
or kung pwede din sa journal mo (online or paper) at least mailabas man lang ang kadramahan

[hyeuna03]

I'm sorry that a lot of you guys are going through a rough time right now. Been there, done that.. I know how terrible it can be when you feel lost in multiple areas of your life and your mind is clouded with all the negative thoughts

Telling yourself that you ARE deserving of happiness may be your first step to committing to a more positive mode of thinking. Keep looking up sisses!!

I always try to remember this quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer..
"When you change the way you look at things... the things you look at, CHANGE."

[lisse]

I never thought I will be posting in this thread, but here I am. This is day one of my depression, I was never this down before.
 - problem conceiving
 - financial problems
 - hubby and I are fighting because of the 2 above
 - I have no friends in this town, abroad pa naman ako

the only good thing for me right now is my job. pero it is not really great. good as in enough that you have something to pay the bills with.

napansin ko, hindi ako nagugutom. hindi din ako nauuhaw. I feel so numb. ganito ba talaga pag depressed?

[faith_hope]

+hello musta ka na ...nasaba ko mga post mo ditto..pareho pala tayo may anxiety agoraphobia din ako...bgla nlng sya sa church na suffocate din ako...until now,..anxiety  hirap na ko mag travel mag isa..being alone...ayoko..kasi nagpapalpitate din ako...wala akong medication now..pray lang...


sana magreply ka..para makap email tayo and share everyday situation natin...ingat godbless...pls reply po