paano mo iha handle ang friend mo na insecure sa'yo

[bella123]

Hi GT's here's my dilema i have a friend actually my bestfriend na according sa observation ng iba nmin friend ay my feeling of insecurity sakin because of my status particularly sa career,sad ako kasi hindi na kami katulad ng dati na madalas magkasama feeling ko umiiwas sya sakin, i even asked some of our common friends baka may nababanggit sya sa knila and they say according to her nahihiya daw sya sakin because i always treat her out but nung kausapin ko sya i was expecting na un ang sasabihin nya sakin it turned out na mas nahurt ako sa reason na binigay nya na not all the time na yayain ko daw sya lumabas ay available sya,(ang dating sakin eh parang dictator ako)in the first place im not forcing her to come with me and the reason i am inviting her is because gusto ko sya makasama at maexperience [textspeak!] mga bagay na di pa rin nya na experience.

[twelvth_goddess]

I would keep my distance. Ayoko ng negative energy.

[aquacharly]

Yes, I would also keep my distance like 12th Goddess.
To minimize any potential damage.. BFF mo ito, so maraming alam.  Mahirap na, if her envy gets the better of her and she decides to backstab you... not that you would care, but if you can prevent negative things from happening, do so.

Do not close the door.
Pretend her answer did not hurt you.
Invite her 1 or 2x more,  but be more considerate about how you word your invitation.  Inquire if the time, date and venue are all convenient for her.
Thereafter,  just keep out of her way, and let your friendship taper off.. to death, maybe, who knows.  The thing is:  leave everything on a positive note.

[kutingpie]

siguro sis, magpa-miss ka muna sa bff mo. try asking ibang friends to go out with you. siguro enough na yung i-ask mo siya ng once, if hindi siya sumagot, it means , ayaw niya siguro

[bella123]

Thanks mga sis sometimes nagpaparamdam naman sya and i would say also na mabait naman siya, ayaw ko naman sayangin yung years na pinagsamahan namin, her BF and I talked about it at un din ang observation nya sa kanya, napag usapan din namin na we'll try to understand her nalang kasi nga parang down na talaga sya with what's happening to her career right now,she just started to her new job,meron nga lang few changes sa attitude niya towards me,i just hope na ma boost ang confidence niya uli.When it comes to inviting her out medyo nag se seccond thought na ko.

[lyrahs]

medyo dumistansya ka muna sis. Tas pag gusto mo syang yayain lumabas, tulad ng sabi ng sis aquacharly, be more considerate sa words mo. Pwede mo syang tanungin kung busy ba sya sa araw at oras na ganito, kung gusto nyang sumama sa yo..mga ganun.

[Joycy]

Depends on how insecure she is of me. Kung normal lang, then i can probably tolerate her. But if it goes beyond normal, yung nagiging destructive and negative na, id probably stay away. Kasi mahirap na. She knows too much. 

[justbeingme]

Oo stay away. I learned that the hard and painful way. Kahit sa email she sends painful messages and below the belt messages. I had to block her email address from my two accounts and I even had to delete my FS account. Kaya kahit FB hindi na ko nag open ng account.

Mahirap gamutin ang insecurity. Pero people grow up and mature naman. It just takes time. Sometimes they just need space.

[gypsiechick]

I would keep my distance. Ayoko ng negative energy.

same here. tingin ko din kasi pag-insecure sayo ibig sabihin di mo siya totoong kaibigan.para sakin kasi ang totoong magkaibigan di na-iisencure sa bawat isa.

[loveavenue]

you know what to do with an insecure friend? if you're truly a friend to her, be sensitive to her real needs. uplift her (in a subtle way of course). wag mashadong obvious at baka ma-offend or lalo ma-insecure pag na-feel nyang kinakaawaan sha. look at her positive points / traits, and verbalize / praise her on that aspects.  words have the power to cure or destroy.  heal her with your kind and sincere words.  ipakita mong love mo sha despite your success or kung ano mang "lamang" mo sa kanya na kina-i-insecure nya sa yo.  share your blessings to her.  ipa-feel mo na magka-level lang kayo, na pareho kayo ng pinanggalingan.

take it step by step and be patient with her.
in the long run, you will win her back and you will be happy that you have helped her uplift her esteem.

[Cheesecak3]

Kung sa akin mangyari yan, lalayo muna ako. siguro sobrang dalang na lang ako magparamdam.

[sue323]

Dapat she's happy for your success. It sucks when you actually have good intentions and other people take it the wrong way. You've been generous, but it seems that your effort was not appreciated.  Keep your distance for the time being. Maybe later on she'd realize her mistakes.   

[badmonkey]

Reading the replies here makes me feel very lucky to have my bestfriend...

We've been through the same situation. She is exactly what I dream to be. Beauty, intelligence, talent, character, and lahat na. Most of the boys sya ang titingnan, lalapit sa akin, asking me to help them with her. Yung dream ng parents ko for me, kayang kaya nya abutin.

So ang dami namin misunderstanding kasi na-iinsecure/na-iintimidate/nagseselos ako sa kanya. Ang daming away pati sa email hindi namin pinalampas na magsagutan. Hindi naman sa lahat ng oras ako ang may kasalanan, hindi din lahat intentional, pero karamihan ang ugat ay yung insecurity ko sa kanya.

My bestfriend NEVER left me behind. Lagi syang nandyan even hindi kami nagpapansinan. Hindi sya lumayo.

I have done my part too. As we get old, nadevelop ko na ang self confidence ko. Nakita ko na yung magaganda sa akin. Na-appreciate ko sya being my bestfriend. Finally, I realize na she is a part of my life and I can't afford to lose her.

[dropdeadgorgeous]

same here. tingin ko din kasi pag-insecure sayo ibig sabihin di mo siya totoong kaibigan.para sakin kasi ang totoong magkaibigan di na-iisencure sa bawat isa.

sa tingin ko din. kasi kung totoong kaibigan mo siya,kung may doubts or insecurities man siya, ioopen niya yun sayo. ako, inakala ko na magkaibigan kami nitong kasa kasama ko. ang bait bait niya pag kaharap ko,pero ang dami niyang nakikitang depekto ko habang nakatalikod ako.nalaman ko yun sa isa pa naming kasama. nung nalaman ko yun, inantay ko pa din siyang mag open,pero tuloy pa rin siya. so para hindi ko na pahirapan ang buhay niya..lumayo na lang ako. sumama nga sa akin yung isa naming kasama. walang pilitan,walang kampihan..dumating lang talaga yung point na its not worth fighting for. she dont consider me a friend, so am i.

[chinkywinky]

there's no way to handle her. Insecurity sucks. Ignore her or avoid her.

[baliwsayo]

Hindi na lang ako papa-affect baka may topak lang siya, in time, lilipas din yun. Pag hindi lumipas, dadagukan ko siya para matauhan. Hehe. 

[bella123]

thanks mga sis i think we're much ok now ginawa ko advice nyo umiwas ako for time being hindi rin ako ang unang  nagpaparamdam kahit sa text or tawag and it worked, i think parehas us natauhan sa mga naging actions namin kahit di namin seryosong pinag usapan nagkaintindihan na kami.

[ana mimi]

para hindi sya ma-insecure, syempre, isama mo sya sa pag-succeed mo.. compliment her sa mga bagay na dapat naman na o-compliment sa kanya at wag magbabago ang pagtingin kay friend

[showermist]

just let her be kung yan ang pinakamagandang gawin.  pero try to reach out pa rin time and again para hindi naman nya sabihing you're totally shutting her off your door.

in my case, yung friend kong insecure--lalo akong gumagawa ng ikakainsecure nya.  i know i am bad, pero grabe kung makapagkalat ng tsismis na hindi totoo: gagawan nya ng istorya yung pagbili ng armani jeans or kahit yung $10 na jeans. ganung tipo.

[miss resilient]

normal lang daw yan nabasa ko sa cosmo..nasa personality kasi ng tao yan pano ihandle ang envy. dapat for positive para lalo magsikap di ba and to accept the things na di lahat pareho ng kapalaran.

yung childhood friend ko di ko iniisip na ganun kasi may kanya2 kaming kapalaran..pangarap namin makasal pero siya hindi nangyari, pangarap namin makapagtapos, siya hindi..pero ok lang yun...pinararamdam lang niya sa akin na wala na shang time sa akin pero ok lang...choice niya un eh...di ko nga sha batiin nung bday niya eh di naligalig sha