Is it right to avoid a "friend"?

[tennisgirl]

^Ako din sis ayoko ng ganyang friend. Parang may hidden inggit yang ganyang mga friends. Meron kaming neighbors na ganyan. Friends sila. Si Girl 1 nag-asawa ng Mexican, si Girl 2 naman nag-asawa ng Australian. Si Girl 1 nag-civil wedding. Nung nalaman nya na church wedding si Girl 2, nagpakasal ulit, this time church wedding na. Nung nagaral sa Australia si Girl 2, nag-aral din sa US si Girl 1. Nung nagpreggers at nanganak si Girl 2, nagpreggers din si Girl 1. Kaloka talaga. Sinasabi nila sa fb na kambal daw sila ng tadhana.

Eto nga palang si Girl 1, nakiki-friendship sa akin. Parang di ko sya feel maging friend kasi medyo may kaartehan. One time, kachat ko sya sa fb. Nasa Australia ako nun (di ako si Girl 2 ha?!) and kinakamusta ko kung baha sa village namin kasi may bagyo (Yolanda), nagtanong ba naman sa akin kung anong visa ang hawak ko.  Sabi ko sa sarili ko, ba't sya nagtatanong eh di naman kami close? 

[tudor.rose]

^Natawa ako sa visa question kasi ganyan nangyari sa amin after i changed our location sa fb. Nagulat ako kasi even yung mga friends ko na once in a while lang maglike as in nag-message just to ask kung ano visa namin. Walang kumusta or hello, diretsong 'anong visa niyo', one line question message lang. It's insulting and nakakainis but i cannot do anything it if they have that kind of manner o sadyang rude lang talaga sila. Anyway, yung mga tipong nanggagaya hanggang doon na lang kasi kung di ka magsalita o gumawa ng bagong gagayahin nila wala na. Ang pathetic.😉😊

[tennisgirl]

^di lang pathetic, ignorante at chismosa pa  Parang yung cousin ko and yung mama nya. Kung anong makita sa amin ng mommy ko ginagaya - damit, gamit sa bahay, pagkain, etc. Napaghahalatang walang alam sa buhay kundi manggaya lang 

[cybelekronos]

aww ganito ako lately, napansin ko mas marami pa ko nasa block list sa fb kaysa friends.

feeling ko tama lang iwasan if lalo na di sila ok na friends

hilig ko iwasan mga toxic friends, at mga tipong puro kabig na lang, pag sila kailangan mo ni walang time kahit basahin chat mo.

may friend ako na ilang months ko sinamahan kasi brokenhearted kahit madaling araw pa sya tumawag o magpasama sa labas at gumastos para makapag rant sya at umiyak ng todo.. tapos nung ako naman ang brokenhearted ang chat sakin "mag move ka kayang kya mo yan" tapos pag nag chat ako gano ako ka down o sad, ni seenzoned lang ako.. kasi may new lovelife na sya. tapos alam na hurt ka na mang iinggit pa kng gano sila kasaya ng bf nya, o makipag "mas" pa sya sakin parang competition ba na kung gaano sya ka down.. kaya ayun iniwasan ko na sya.

saka mga friends na naalala ka lang pag need ng mangutang, ayan #1 iniiwasan ko 

[manhattanite]

Kung wala ng growth ang friendship, by all means, let go na.

Na-experience ko yan personally this year, parehong officemates who became good friends.  Yung una I work closely with and napagod na ako always being the one to initiate conversation every day na magkatrabaho kami.  The second one trinato ko like a little sister; we share common interests and halos same din kami ng background and values.  After our trip abroad, bigla na lang syang dumistancia and ang nakakatawa pa dun is she pretends as if walang nagbago kahit obvious naman na nilayo nya ang sarili nya. 

Lately ko lang napagtanto na masyado kasi akong nagbigay ng time and effort sa kanila kaya ang ending is nawili at na-spoil.  Nasanay na puro sa kanila ang attention kaya siguro naging inconsiderate at naging one-way ang friendship.  Ni mangamusta saken hindi na ginagawa.  I can't say that I will avoid them from now on, lalo na dun sa isa na katrabaho ko talga, but I will be firm in my resolve to not initiate anything anymore.  Hi, hello is fine, pero more than that waley na.  Dun na lang ako sa mga kaibigang alam ang true meaning of friendship.

[pinklilac]

Ok lang   iwasan ang kaibigan  lalo na kung perwisyo lang ang bibigay sayo.
Ako kase  naniniwala na kung mahal mo.ang kaibigan  mo.hindi.mo yan  iha hassle  or  bibigyan ng burden.
Ok lang pa minsan  minsan at hindi yung halos konting   kibot  pasaklolo agad.

[amethyst028]

what if your friend is super competitive. para bang lagi dapat mas angat siya kesa sa inyo sa barkada? truth is hindi naman kasi stay at home siya to take care of the kids while live-in partner is working abroad. out of all of us siya ang pinaka kawawa ang stiuation but whenever we get together she likes to act like angat siya sa lahat. one time nagsama siya ng friend sa get together namin and binibida niya na siya pinaka ganito ganon sa group. para bang siya ang pinaka anghel. even mentioned a person na wala dun, super lasenggera daw yun. i plan to totally avoid her but she's always present sa mga lakad.

[lovely_carrot]

what if your friend is super competitive.

Nakow, sounds like this friend I know.

We used to work together in a hotel, then nagresign sya kasi she was pirated by another hotel in Makati. She'd tell me stories about how they like her there, pinepraise daw sya lagi, gusting gusto sya nung GM nila.. Ako naman nakikinig lang although obvious na sa akin na at times, over the top na yung bragging pero sige like a good friend I listened. I knew she grew up as "baby" in their family,

Last year, I was luckily hired sa isang int'l chain hotel dito sa UAE, thru online application. Since we're very close that time, sya yung una kong sinabihan outside my family. Her reaction? Nega. Super blasé

Out of all the people/friends na sinabihan ko, tanging sya lang ang hindi masaya for me. Ilang beses pa kami nagusap at sinabihan na wag nako tumuloy. Kasi nga single mom ako, marami ako mamiss sa paglaki ng anak ko.

Alam ko naman point nya, e anak din ako ng OFW pero mas nangibabaw sa akin yung magprovide sa family ko.

Dun sa last usap namin, di nya pa rin ako tinigilan. sales talk pa din sya na wag ako umalis because of this and that. Napika na ko, I said something she didn't like and kept quiet. So nung wala na sya mapigang reaction from me, she threw a fit, like a kid who didn't get what she wanted.

Nagbirthday ako, nagpadespedida di ko na sya ininvite. She asked me if we could go out, I turned her down. I don't need "friends" dragging me down on my moment of happiness. Up to know 7 mos na ako I never made an attempt to reach out.

[im fine!]

competitive.. I have a friend na ganito, madalas wala sa lugar. Mahilig mag brag when in reality alam mo naman na cant afford sya sa mga luho na gusto nya. I dont really avoid her, na immune na siguro ako. I just dont initiate na ako gagawa ng move para magkita kami or mgtextan.

[kvandenhaak]

I have the same dilemma. This friend though is really nice. A good Christian woman. Kaso di na kaya ng powers ko ang katangahan that it gives me stress. My therapist said I need to stay away from things that gives me stress if possible that might worsen my anxiety. Kaso, sya yung isang pang stress. Not sure what to do. She needs a lot of help with her life. But I can't help her anymore and I want to really stay away.

[mischa04]

I have one friend na in-avoid ko na.. he was a friend of mine since highschool pero nang dahil sa utang wala nasira sya sakin. 2009 pa when he borrowed money from me na pambayad daw sa review nya. Years passed wala na, hindi na sya nagparamdam kahit sa text or fb, even sa get together with other HS friends namin. Nung nawalan ako ng work I asked him na baka pwede na nya ko bayaran since 3 years na yung utang nya kaso wala andaming alibi then promises na kunwari idedeposit na lang sa account ko pero wala talaga. Since then up to now hinayaan ko na, tulong ko na sa kanya yun pero never ko na sya kinonsider na friend ko pa. I avoided him na kasi sya rin naman inavoid na ako lalo nung nagka boyfriend na sya. Nalungkot at nanghinayang ako sa friendship lalo na sya lang yung guy/gay friend ko na super close ko pero ganon siguro talaga, I was hurt lalo na sya pa umiwas na una.

Ngayon naman sa work nagkaron ako ulit ng guy friend, straight guy..hehe.. he was like a Kuya to me that I wish I had..12 years age gap. We were so close to the point na laging magkakwentuhan, he gives me advice or pinapagalitan ako when i do stupid things, he's also my kakampi sometimes sa kalokohan, tawanan, my confidant, sa kanya ko umiiyak pag hirap na hirap na ko sa work and sometimes family issues. He helps me sa work. We always text each other, di sya nakakalimot mangamusta at palakasin ang loob ko dahil sa super toxic na envi sa work. He always tell me na bata pa ako at marami pang maeexperience kaya be strong lang. We were okay and happy as friends until last year nabago lahat. Nalipat sya ng dept. pero ok pa rin kami nun nothing changed pa. Months later he became cold and nag iba sya, to the point na we always argue na, I thought baka yung gap lang naninibago. Then I heard rumors of him having an affair with my other officemate na naging kabarkada ko rin. Eventually the rumors were not rumors to me anymore kasi I believe na meron talaga just by observing them. Yun pala yung reason bat sya biglang lumayo, hindi kasi kami okay nung officemate ko na ka-affair nya kaya siguro nilayuan nya ako. I was hurt by the sudden change, ganon pala talaga magugulat ka na lang na ibang iba na. I'm even more hurt kasi galit na yata sya sakin without me knowing why, eh ako nga ang dapat na magalit sa kanya hehe..pag binabati ko sya pag nagkakasalubong kami deadma sya or worse iirapan ako..haha.. Anyway, 6 months na kaming hindi nagpapansinan, I am avoiding him na and never na ako nag attempt na batiin sya or kausapin sya. Nahihirapan lang ako kasi he's just around nakakasalubong at nakikita talaga, kumakain pa nga beside my desk with my officemate haha..syempre at times naiilang ako, hindi ako comfortable when he's around lalo pag naririnig ko yung kwentuhan nila kasi I miss him kakwentuhan din. Kaya lumalayo ako umaalis na lang ako sa table.ko then pag alis nya saka ako babalik. Ang hirap umiwas.. 6 mos na di pa ako maka move on..di ko pa magawa maging casual lang with him.. haha.. Pero nasanay na ko na wala sya. Hindi ko sya kilala, ganon ang peg na pina-practice ko..hehe..

[cosmochick]

I avoided my friend who is so mayabang and arte na. Dko na ma take ang kaartehan and she feels so high and mighty to the point na she looks down at some people not on her level. Ayoko ng ganon. It feels right to me and I've never been so at peace in my life because the truth is, I've never felt comfortable with her.

[Evolet027]

I once avoided a friend/officemate na akala ko eh buddy buddy ko sa office. Yun pala, tirador sa likod ko. at ang root cause, yung guy officemate namin na close saken or actually naging kame pero secret lang. Tuwing nag ku kwento ako sa kanya ng tungkol samen ni guy, about sa status me pakilig kilig pa sya na nalalaman yun pala binabackstab na din nya ko. and worst, na discover ko na nung umalis ako sa office na yun, yung mga things na ni kwento ko sa kanya happening to us ni guy, is the same exact things na kinukwento nya sa bago nyang ka buddy buddy. as in ni replace lang nya ng sarili nya ako dun sa kwento nya. pathetic! at grabe ha??

So ni block ko sya sa fb, at yun nga dun ko lang na realize na ginagaya nya pala ko. nung umalis ako sa office na yun, nag change hairdo sya, like mine, nagpakulay din like mine,. as in copying me. eh naiwan si guy dun sa office. Hindi naman ako kagandahan pero hello? hahaha.

[shygirlme]

Ang hirap mag avoid ng friend if nasa same circle kayo!

[tennisgirl]

Iniiwasan ko yung isang friend ko kasi nangako pero di naman tinupad.

[kvandenhaak]

Last weekend this friend invited me to bowl with our kids. Not sure what she is up to but parang me gusto syang sabihin. After bowling, she asked kung gusto ko maglakad lakad sa mall, I said I would like to home kasi puyat ako the previous night. I don't know, kasi puro depressing news naman agad ang pinag-uusapan namin.  Namatay si ganito, si ganyan. Eh recently na nga lang ako kumakalma sa aking anxiety attacks. At I would really like to stay away from her problems kasi di naman nakikinig.

[Miss Taken]

IMO it's okay to avoid someone even if it's a "friend" if that person only contributes negative vibes in your life. If you don't feel appreciated anymore and you feel like you're being taken for granted, what's the point of staying in this kind of friendship? The people you surround yourself with have a direct impact on your life, so don’t let these friends affect you in any less-than-positive way. They are not simply worth your time.

[imprincessfiona]

^Very well said Miss Taken. I feel the same way to a so called friend.

[px17]

Tama lang na magavoid if your friend do not respect you at all. I have a high school ex-friend (acquaintance nalang ngayon) we were super close talaga (para ko n nga siyang kapatid) until one day I found out she did something behind my back. I was so mad and hurt back then. I texted her and asked about it (I really don't remember that much ano ng napagusapan namin super lutang ata ako noon) hanggang sa iniwasan ko na siya, my other 2 girl friends are trying to fix the problem between us pero wala na talaga. I no longer trust her kahit pa na love ko siya. Add to that my other 2 girls knew what she did, ayun iniwsan ko silang tatlo. I was too kind ata inabuso nila ako.

Now we still meet pero not close na. I'm just trying to be civil lang din with my other friends.

[mysterioza_me]

Kung nakaka-stress siya na klase ng friend mas mabuti pa nga na iwasan na lang.