Is it right to avoid a "friend"?

[chinkywinky]

Marami siyang foul na nagawa sakin when we were still room mates. Countless and I don't want to elaborate further. Lalong foul nung wedding day ko, parang hindi nya pinahalagahan. I want to avoid her, I don't want to communicate with her anymore and totally forget about our "friendship" (kung itinuring nya nga akong real friend). I treated her as my sister, as her confidante esp. when she needs me. May mga utang pa siya sakin na hindi ko na siningil at mga gamit na hindi na isinoli sa akin. Kahit pano ko isipin, hindi nya ko pinahalagahan.

Is avoiding her suits her right? I don't want to do that , really. But I don't want to surround myself with people like her.

[twelvth_goddess]

I don't hesitate to drop 'friends' who don't respect me and who don't bother to change despite the chances given to them. I also don't want to surround myself with negative people who will just suck the positive energy out of me with their constant whining and complaining about everything.

Kung wala ng trust and respect, mahirap yan.

[trizh]

  -- it is okay to avoid a friend, may karapatan kang gawin yun. pero explain mo rin sa kanya kung bakit. masakit kasi sa isang tao yung biglang iiwasan, kahit na alam niya yung reason kung bakit. mas maganda kung magkausap muna kayo.

[chinkywinky]

^not to totally avoid her, but not that close as before. I am still replying to her text messages, but the warmth is not there already. Na turn-off talaga ako sa kanya the way she treated me before.

Ayoko na rin siya kausapin about it kasi sa point of view nya, ako lagi yung may fault. She's so insecure.

[rheagirl]

it depends sa situation and your reasons why you're avoiding him/her.

[Stellar27]

mukhang free loader lang yan ah..

yup, kung ako, iiwasan ko yan.

[twelvth_goddess]

May ganyan kaming friend nung college. Nung una, everytime magla-lunch out during breaks, she would borrow pa-twenty twenty hanggang sa naging 50  or something bigger than that. Pag gimiks, ang dala nyang pera 100 lang so hihiraman nya kame on the spot and magpapahatid sya pauwi kase wala na syang pang cab. Whenever there's an event, she would borrow clothes that she would never return or makiki-charge sa card which she would take time to pay so ikaw magsa-suffer sa interest.

Hanggang sa nagwo-work na kameng lahat, ganyan pa din sya until she borrowed 20k from our friend who's closest to her in our group. Sabe nya pang-tuition daw ng youngest sister nya yon. My friend borrowed from her sister in law and she guaranteed that it will be paid. But then she just disappeared and refused to respond to calls and text messages saying she has no money to pay pa daw. Dumating pa sa point na my friends went to their house and spoke to her parents tapos they said they had no knowledge of this loan kase hinde naman daw nagbibigay ng pera sa kanila yon. In the end, sya pa ang nagmalaki sa min.

Friendship may be all about sharing pero masaklap din na makilala mo yung personality ng tao cus of money. Sometimes you think you may know someone so well but hinde pa pala. I am always wary of people who are just there to take advantage of me.

[isobel]

don't they say you can choose your friends but not your family? be happy about that premise of that statement.

i've dropped a friend before, and while i'm not particularly proud of it (friends are gems and i would never have imagined myself breaking up with one), i'm happy about it. at months' intervals, she would call and try to talk me into getting back with her in her skewed notion of a friendship. but once i've made up my mind about it(and not without enormous effort on my part to fix things), there just isn't any going back.

i seriously hope the september's call would be the last one of its kind. i have forgiven her, i wish i could forget all about her (but, of course, i can't) and i want nothing further to do with her.

[airish_2]

for me depende sa case syempre, ina-avoid ko rin yung mga taong alam mo na parang ginagamit ka lang o nakikipagplastikan.

[Shopao]

sis... dont avoid her muna... kunin mo muna yung mga gamit mo at utang nya. .saka mo iavoid..

[chinkywinky]

^sis, binaon na nya sa limot yung mga nakuha nya sakin. Wala na talagang balak ako bayaran or isoli yung things ko. Hinayaan ko na lang. I just don't constantly communicate with her. Siya sometimes magtetext, sinasagot ko naman pero that's it. Hindi na ko nag iinitiate ng kwentuhan.

[kookie420]

i believe one has every right to avoid a friend. if one does it, we have to respect whatever reason he/she has.

[JINJIN:*]

it happened before, i dropped a friend who said nasty things  about me behind my back. I quit being her friend, i did forgave her but i just dont want to be her friend anymore. But time heals all wounds.....we are civil now but not friends.

[boracay2862]

Is it right to avoid a friend yes especially those friends na wala nang respeto sa iyo, at sakit lamang nang ulo mo.

[batang bantot]

yes. it is okay to avoid a friend.

i avoided a friend too. i've known her since we were in kinder days. though may mga stories ako naririnig sa kanya na hindi maganda (yung di nga marunong magpahalaga ng friends), i was not bothered at all. isip ko kasi kami super jurassic years na friends kaya tingin ko naman she values the friendship we have.

eh kaso hindi rin.

for me kasi marami tayong nakikilala. sa school, sa work. and dumadami yung friends mo. but as we grow older, sa tingin ko i should be friends with the real ones. hindi yung nagpapanggap na kaibigan mo lang.

 

[chinkywinky]

Thanks sa replies. Nanghihinayang lang din ako sa nabuong friendship, nawala lang ng ganon lang. Sobrang tinetreasure ko kasi yung mga friends ko, at sobra rin akong madisappoint pag ginawan ako ng foul. Alam nyo yung feeling na ayaw mo sana siyang tablahin kasi kahit pano may pinagsamahan kayo. Kaso I don't want her to be my friend anymore. Harsh but honest.

[baliwsayo]

Ganun talaga buhay sis. May ganyan din akong friend. Hindi naman sa inavoid ko siya, I'm still here for her whenever she needs me naman but I don't reach out to her anymore since hindi ko naman siya maaasahan talaga. hehe

[aquacharly]

Better to avoid her, than to "bang the door shut" on her.   Malay mo, 1 fine day when she is less "user-friendly" you may want to let her into your life again.

But until then, given she has driven you up the wall so many times:  Leave behind what no longer works.
Just be conscientious about minimizing your exposure/interaction to her everyday.  1 fine day:  wow, she is out of your life na!

[chinkywinky]

^malamang nga nararamdaman na nya ngayon na iniiwasan ko siya. Never talaga ako nag-iinitiate ng communication. Pag nagtetext siya sakin, ayoko na talaga sagutin as much as possible. She's the most negative and insecure person I've ever met.

[wookies]

yes, you can avoid a friend. base sa kwento mo, feeling ko para syang nag take advantage sayo kasi ilang beses din nya ginawa, paulit-ulit. i'm sure alam naman nya na di mo gusto ginagawa nya diba pero nangyayari ulit. wag ka manghinayang kung mawala sya sayo kasi di ka naman nya pinahalagahan.