on wife who cheat...

[miss resilient]

we usually discuss cheating husbands, condemning what theyve done or they doing..but what about women who cheat? especially, if theyre married?

hindi ko alam but this thing bothers me. since magpakasal kami ng hubby ko may panaka naka pa ring nanliligaw sa akin. maybe because magiliw ako, so to say. but it doesnt mean na i would make patol to those guys.

first was with this younger man, lets call him mr. n, ive met him thru my work. that time very stormy ang situation namin ng hubby ko. so n was there to keep me company. when im away from home (na aassign kasi ako sa provinces before) he would text me often rather than my hubby. hindi rin kasi seloso hubby ko. ni hindi nga niya binabasa text messages sa cp ko gaano..he does that maybe once in a month. pag tulog ako. kasi nagigising ako hawak niya na cp ko.

not only once, n would fetch me from work...then we would spend time in mall, sharing stories, having dinner, hanggang doon lang naman. tinigilan ko lang kasi sobrang nakokonsensya ako. when n asked me to meet him on valentines day, i didnt show up. hanggang sa sinabi niyang " panakip butas mo lang ako, alam kong mahal mo ang husband mo". then he said goodbye.

di ko na kwento yung iba kasi trivial lang naman. until this guy came to the picture...

another person was "mr. L", he's my college friend. last month he called up to ask how i was doing. he got my num from his cousin na ka friendster ko. he asked if nagpakasal ko..sabi ko "oo naman alangang kayo lang" hehe. ive found out na naghiwalay na sila ng wife niya for 10 yrs..BUThe has a gf at present. yung gf niya niyaya siyang makipaglive in na. so sabi ko that's up to you. having an extramarital rel. is tolerable butliving in with her is i guess is too much. kunsabagay dami namang gumagawa niyan. sabi niya he had 2nd thoughts because of me..sabi ko nadadala ka lang..and i always remind him of his commitment with his gf.

nung una we agreed on a friendly date (meet up of course with his cousin) hanggang sa ginusto niyang mag meet kaming 2..i am hesitant kasi baka kung ano gawin niya. sabi niya di naman siya mapagsamantala. all i need is a friend pero iba naman ang gusto niya. lagi kong sinasabi na kasal sia ang he has a gf and i also have a hubby. sabi niya he made a choice and that was me..siyempre di naman ako naniniwala. he asked me to give him a chance.

i'd like to continue befriending him, siyangapala, he was my former crush. di niya kasi ako pansin dati kaya akala ko balewala ako sa kanya. yun pala, kaya di siya nagpursue before dahil akala niya kami nung cousin niya.

lets say that i like him ..but i already have commitment.

to those who will post their comment..thanks in advance. good morning.

[miss resilient]

to the mods: pls delete this thread..double post.

[sxymnky]

i can see your falling out of love sa hubby mo...its still your choice  to work it out   

[madhel]

madalas talag dumadating sa point where you question yourself if you're falling out of love sa partner mo
lalo na kapag war or may cold treatment between the two of you

but being in a marriage is a different thing
that is a commitment made to last a lifetime

mas mahirap sa case mo, kasi there is this one person that shows you, makes you feel things na dapat sana ay si hubby ang gumagawa

give your hubby a chance, spend time with him
only time together can let you see things clearly
kasi kung talagang mahal mo pa si asawa, you can soon forget about the other man
exert extra effort to bring out the best kay asawa
if he's not sweet, then be sweet
ask him out
take a vacation na dalawa lang kayo
relive those moments nung mag gf-bf pa lang kayo
always remember the reasons why you in the first place loved your husband and decided to get married to him

do your best to save the relationship,
kasi if ever the di na talaga magwork out, you won't have regrets
you won't asked what if...

baka kasi kilig factor lang yung nararamdaman mo sa isa
knowing na kahit may asawa na tayo, still someone can give importance to us
lilipas din yan

[tisay4476]

To thread starter...
 if you want to make the relationship work ikaw na mismo ang gumawa ng paraan para manumbalik ang matamis na pagmamahalan nyong  mag asawa. Hindi yung sa iba ka maghahanap ng aruga.. kahit pa may ibang lalaking nagbibigay ng atensyon sa iyo, dapat bigyan mo  ng importansya ang vows na sinumpaan mo sa harap ng Diyos na through thick or thin.. for better or for worse.. in sickness and in health til death do us part. Humingi ka ng lakas sa panginoon na iresist ang temptasyon. Unang una hindi lang sa asawa mo ikaw nagkakasala.. kungdi sa Diyos din.

[boracay2862]

  Siguro na lulungkot ka lang! Kasi ang gusto mo kausap and attention. Why not talk to your husband about it and ask him time. I think it all happens to all couples na you can call it boredom. If this another guy is really have good attention, he knows your married. Maayos mo pa ang problema mo sa husband mo! 
 

[mami violy]

sis kahit anong payo ang gawin namin sayo nasa sayo pa din ang desisyon

kung matagal na kayo ni hubby baka nasa stage lang kayo na "we used to it" alam mo yung akala mo di mo na sya love at nag-iiba na yung gusto mo sa gusto nya, try to work out sis

kung bago kayong kasal di ko alam kung bakit kailangan mo ng male companion aside from your husband kasi normally yung mga newly wed si hubby ang nagiging best friend nila at laging kasama.

IMO try to work out first your marriage baka mamaya fling lang ang gusto ng guy na yan at mahulog ka sa bitag

[miss resilient]

^ang galing....have you been thru this?

thanks to those who posted their comment...

he didnt call the whole day (mr L) , i dont know whats going on....ayoko naman na ako ang maginitiate..

[sxymnky]

the more you entertain the guy ...It makes you so vulnerable...again its your choice sis 

[miss resilient]

kaya nga i deleted his number tonight. pupunta na naman siya dun sa gf niya..sabi niya. nakita ko pics ng wife niya and his gf in his cp (diff. folders of course)..he's sweet to both of them..and of course intimate..pano pa ko sasali nito..di wag na lang di ba.

[maika14]

^ Sis, out of sight, out of mind. The more you think about how luscious and to-die-for the belgian chocolates are, the more your mouth will water. 

If you want to forget about L, there are hundreds of ways to entertain yourself.

-join a badminton club
-join Bagyong Ondoy volunteers 
-jogging
-adopt a pet
-etc....

But the most natural thing to do is

-spend more time with your hubby
-cook food/eat together with hubby
-have a good time with hubby
-go clubbing with hubby..
-and many more.

We can always ask for something from our husbands. Talk. If you think you lack quality time, just say so. He's not your husband for nothing. 

If L is asking for a chance, why not give YOUR hubby a chance? Maybe, he can be far more simpatiko than L is. You just fail to notice coz you have your eyes to L now?


Goodluck sis. 

[tsabadodo]

"Yung mga lalaking magpapa-iyak sa iyo, sila ang mga hindi worth crying for, pero yung mga lalaking worth crying for, sila naman ang hindi ka paiiyakin!"

I like this one. This is sooo true.

sis, its your choice talaga. But for me, you married your husband so he must be the one meant for you. But God wont let us recognize it sooo easily. He wants us to find it out on our own.

[graze24]

marriage is a choice not by chance and it's up to us to work it out..at hindi ito palaging masaya..minsan maiisip mo bakit kaya siya ang pinakasalan mo or sana hindi na lang siya pag on the rocks ang relationship nio or pag marami kaung bagay na hindi mapagkasunduan..pero kahit ano pa mang klaseng tao siya never magiging justification na maghahanap ka na lang ng iba who makes u smile or feel special..feelings may change..people will change but at the end of the day..our family will still matter and should always be..

[tisay4476]

^ i totally agree with you sis 

[bluemargarita]

^^very well said sis graze24!

[silke]

kung di ka naging married, mas madali yung situation mo. all you have to do is makipaghiwalay sa karelasyon. but since kasal kayo, it's a different story. lalo na satin sa pinas na wala naman divorce. you really have to choose your marriage kahit pa nag fall out of love ka na sa spouse mo. sis, if you don't mind me asking, nasan yung husband mo sa situation mo? i mean, does he neglect you or do you feel na wala na sya love for you?

[dementia]

Sis, yung temptation, palaging nandyan yan. Napansin ko nga na since nag-asawa ako, mas marami nang pumapansin. Yung crush ko dati na deadma before, nagpaparinig na ngayon. Kung weak tayo, madadala talaga.

Like my friend who spent time away from her hubby kasi overseas. Ayun! Nagkaroon ng affair out of boredom. With 2 guys pa! Pero hindi naman sabay but one after the other. Hindi naman serious kasi bumalik din naman siya sa hubby niya. And they were not having problems kasi mabait naman yung hubby. Na-bore lang talaga siya.

Kung pareho kami ng friend ko, malamang din siguro bumigay na rin ako. Nasa tao lang talaga yan. Be strong if you love your husband. Stay away from the other guy and avoid contact, verbal AND physical. Good luck! 

[miss resilient]

^totoo yan, maski hubby ko napansin yan. para bang nanghahamon sila kung kaya ka nilang itempt or what.

my hubby texted L after sabihin ko yung mga pangyayari between us. akala ko naman he'll stop there. the next morning he texted me and told me na nagtxt daw hubby ko to him. i pretended na ako ang hubby ko para tumigil ...hindi pala. he denied na may intention siyang iba sa akin. so sinabi ko yung mga pinagbabanggit niya sa akin (na alam na nga ng hubby ko). he said: "ok, [textspeak!] ganito na lang, mahal ko ang asawa mo". nagulat ako dun sa response niya. gusto pa niyang makausap ang hubby ko at pumunta sa house namin. sabi ng hubby ko "wala akong pakialam sa kanya, kapal niya"

L suggested before na magboard ako kasi uwian ako from work. dun daw niya ko pupuntahan. and besides gusto niya pumunta sa amin to have lunch...

[dementia]

^ Be very careful sis. Potential trouble talaga yan. This guy could turn into a stalker. Nakakatakot yan. End it now before it's too late. Mahal ka naman ng hubby mo. Both of you can get through this together. Huwag ka lang padadala.

[miss resilient]

oo nga sana wag na siyang magtext forever ayoko namang magpalit ng number because of him. magbf pa lang kami ni hubby ito na number ko