Author Topic: Moving In together  (Read 36093 times)

jeune

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Moving In together
« on: June 16, 2009, 08:40:30 am »
Hi all! I have a question, what is your opinion about moving in with your bf? Is it something you would be interested in doing later on or would you rather wait until you're engaged at least and eventually get married, or just move in together after getting married?

Boyfie asked me and I'm undecided though part of me wants to and the other half not :-\

I appreciate your responses.

poshprincess

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2009, 08:57:23 am »
im currently living in with my boyf.. we've been living together for 3 years.. we moved in together on our first month of our relationship.. :)

we're not engaged or anything either.. we just cant live without each other even for a day.. we talk about marriage although we're both not ready to get married and start a family.. we're happy where we are right now and our decision to live together definitely does wonders to our relationship..

i dont think living together now is such a big deal/ issue as it was before.. for me, living together helps relationship check whether they are definitely ready to go to the next level.. they say that people change when they live under the same roof.. u see and get to know each others' real personality and temperaments..

but for me getting pregnant is a totally different issue.. so be careful.. living together, lets u and the boyf each others company without any pretensions..

jeune

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2009, 09:30:12 am »
^
Thanks for your input sis. I haven't done this before so I'm hesitant especially that I'm also considering my career. He lives in another state so do I though it's only 2 1/2 hr drive.

stormy_princess

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2009, 11:48:06 am »
me and i boyfie decided to move in together since na although everyday naman kami nagkikita kulang pa rin tlaga yung time...so we both asked permission sa family namin and they agreed naman...the thing is, im very favor of this set up..maybe its a big deal for others but not for me..mas nakikilala kasi namin ang isat-isa since were sharing the same roof..at ang sinasabi nila na makikilala mo pag magkasama na kayo sa isang haus..yes true yun at dun mo rin makikilala ng husto ang sarili mo..i get matured actually...i learned on how to compromise really! kung yung dati iniisip mo sarili mo [textspeak!], now its just like ur having ur own family..you have to nurture the relationship [textspeak!]..maraming pagbabago and you should be prepared for it...now we are very happy with our decision and plans to get married at civil rites this year :)

yaskulet

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2009, 12:09:00 pm »
ako parang "almost live-in" yung setup pero hindi. :) magulo ba? o well, ganto kasi yun. most of the time nasa apartment ko si boyfie pero may apartment din siya sa alabang (since doon siya work). pero yun nga, hindi din namen matiis na di makita ang isa't isa so umuuwi siya sa apartment ko pag gusto nya. :) 2 weeks siyang nasa alabang (pag night shift) and 2 weeks sa apartment ko (pag dayshift). masaya! mas makilala nyo isa't isa. :)

ReservoirDogs

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Re: Moving In together
« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2009, 12:33:10 pm »
I would honestly like to move in with my bf kaya lang, di pwede dahil kulang sa pera at ang parents namin medyo overprotective.  ;D

But as what others have posted, it's no big deal naman as long as you are financially and emotionally stable.  Plus, sort of test drive nga yan para pag kasal na kayo, alam mo na how it is to live in with your bf.

ebiko

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2009, 01:35:11 pm »
nothing wrong with moving in, it would test how much patience you have with each other when dealing with problems that comes into your relationship.

> kami ni hubby, before we got married, we lived for 4 years ... and sa tingin ko, mas mainit yung naging pagmamahalan namin, now that we are married and may baby na.  ;)

annie_barzaga

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #7 on: June 16, 2009, 01:41:31 pm »
as long as your mature enough to face situations or conflicts that will occur during your together, go girl. ask yourself "am I emotionally, physically and financially ready to share everything with someone?", then if your answer is yes, then there's no need to have second thoughts.  ;)

boracay2862

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #8 on: June 16, 2009, 02:24:48 pm »
 :) For me lang it's just fine to go for a living in to know each other better, kung your really deserve each other ba. Yung pasensiya nyo sa isa't isat makikita ny'o, pati ugali. Yung bad side at good side ba? Kung sa makita mo ito kasal na kayo, tapos di ka na maka pidaw na, di ka na makaurong,salo ka nalang nang salo sa lahat. Kaso minsan din nag kakasawaan kaya nakakalimutan na ang kasal. Yun lang un!

angelspawn

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #9 on: June 16, 2009, 03:15:03 pm »
this is definitely a huge step esp for those conservative filipinos. sa kin, on and off live in kami ni boyfie. minsan, 6 months straight andun ako sa house nila. then i will decide to rent an apartment for 6 months to a year. then babalik ako sa kanila. you will learn a lot once you decide to live together. not just about your partner but also about yourself. makikita nyo lahat ng good and bad points about each other.

be financially, physically, emotionally ready for this sis... plus, be careful din because you might get pregnant. aside from that, aminin natin na maraming tsismoso at tsismosa sa paligid.

exciting yan sis! sometimes, feeling mo nagbabahay bahayan lang kayo... hehe

anagucci

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #10 on: June 16, 2009, 03:27:04 pm »
i've been with my bf for 6 months. we already have plans of moving in but we haven't gotten his annulment papers yet, so technically, I'm a mistress and I can get sued for this. So hintay nalang muna. But we're already looking at rent to own condos and apartment/condo for rent.

carolskitot

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #11 on: June 16, 2009, 03:28:34 pm »
wow very informative talaga ito..nagiisip din kasi ang bf ko na magsama kami and were living in different state, so ako naman anytime pedeng lumipat sa kanya.. pero nagdadalawang isip parin ako...

keep on going!!

isobel

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #12 on: June 16, 2009, 04:04:12 pm »
as long as it can be avoided, i will not live with my boyfriend in the same house. there are situations kasi na baka hindi maiwasan (like when you're both abroad with no relatives to take you in, it might be more econmical and safe to live together), but so long as hindi pa naman kailangan, i'd rather stay with my family for as long as i can. when we get married, we'll have the rest of our lives to spend day-in, day-out together, but hanggang kailan na lang ko na lang ba makakasama talaga ang family ko?

for my boyfriend naman, when we're engaged, okay na daw that we live together. we'll see na lang if i'm comfortable na sa ganung setup when the time comes, pero pag hindi pa, then hindi ako magpapapilit. after we're married na lang talaga.
« Last Edit: May 04, 2011, 06:11:17 pm by isobel »

mooncake and leaves

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #13 on: June 16, 2009, 11:17:04 pm »
hay naku no, kung puwede ko lang tapatin ang amang ko na "tay, wag ka nang maging protective. nasuko ko na ang bataan, cavite at maynila noon pa" eh di puwede na sana akong makipag-live in. hmpf. harhar. seriously, i really want to live with my bf lalo na ngayon na may sakit siya. sabi ko nga sa kanya, kung magkasama kami, ipa-padlock ko talaga yung ref haha at monitored talaga yang pag-eexercise niya, yung bp niya, yung pagsa-shopping niya and everything. mahirap kasi yung di ko talaga alam kung naayos nga niya yung mga dapat niyang ayusin. i trust him but i also know that there are times that he will get lazy and forget about his responsibilities kaya kelangan niya ng taga-push.

saka para tipid na din. lugi ang hotel eh kasi even an entire day isn't enough to do all the things you want to do. haha. ;D

yndy

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #14 on: June 16, 2009, 11:35:14 pm »
kami ni bf wanted to do that... ok naman sa family niya his mom even wants me to stay with them na lang pero he wanted na meron kame sarili na place... problem is ayaw ng parents ko... so minsan weekends dun na lang ako nakiki sleepover wierd lang na pumapayag sila on weekends but not totally moving in... di ko na kinuwestiyon baka bawalin pa... :D

mira.dreyes

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #15 on: June 17, 2009, 03:23:54 am »
Hi all! I have a question, what is your opinion about moving in with your bf? Is it something you would be interested in doing later on or would you rather wait until you're engaged at least and eventually get married, or just move in together after getting married?

Boyfie asked me and I'm undecided though part of me wants to and the other half not :-\

I appreciate your responses.

For me sis it really depends sa Financial stability ninyo eh.  Saka you should be emotionally prepared na din kasi you cant prevent society to judge you.

paper_doll

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #16 on: June 17, 2009, 12:28:01 pm »
thinking that i would be in the same roof with my boyfriend excites me.. but i'd rather not..

i'll move in with him when we're already married.i can still get to know him even we're not under the same roof 24/7, there are bonding times that i can truly know him through certain situations.. his reactions, his attitude, his likes or dislikes, no need to live in one house..

if i were to ask it would be better if we do it after getting married

SUTIL

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #17 on: June 17, 2009, 04:09:06 pm »
i moved in with my bf on my 2nd year of working here in manila.  pero hindi lang kaming dalawa sa house.  bale kasama namin mga dati niyang schoolmates na officemates na nya at that time.  we were 8 in the house, 4 boys and 4 girls.  parang naging boardmates kami. hehe

preferred ng mom ko yun kasi she feels more assured na kasama ko bf ko sa house at hindi kung sino sino.  we had that setup for like 3-4 yrs then nung nagkahiwa-hiwalay na kaming magkakasama sa house we had no choice but to move out and maging kaming dalawa na lang sa house.

okay naman ang maging magkasama kayo ng bf mo, pero like what they said here..dapat financially, emotionally and physically ready ka.  tsaka dapat keri mo ang mga tsismis...lam mo naman ibang mga tao.  saka you have to be ready as well with the consequences, like kung mabuntis ka...at kung if ever man na hindi maging okay pagsasama nyo e okay ka pa din when you move out. yung iba kasi when they start living in with their bf e feeling nila nakatali na sila.  at nahihirapan na silang mamuhay ulit apart from their bf just in case things didn't work out right.

ihanda mo na sarili mo sis, kasi madami ka matutuklasan sa bf mo.  like ugali nya sa paggamit ng cr, sa food, etc etc.  and unless sanay sa gawaing bahay ang bf mo, expect mo ng ikaw gagawa ng mga gawaing bahay. hahaha..pero nasa usapan naman yan, sis. 

empress

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #18 on: June 17, 2009, 06:42:33 pm »
been there, done that. it has its pro's & con's & living-in is much better than getting married -- u can get out of it easily without any cost of divorce/annulment/separtion of properties, etc...

aquacharly

  • Guest
Re: Moving In together
« Reply #19 on: June 18, 2009, 11:37:30 am »
Hi all! I have a question, what is your opinion about moving in with your bf? Is it something you would be interested in doing later on or would you rather wait until you're engaged at least and eventually get married, or just move in together after getting married?

Boyfie asked me and I'm undecided though part of me wants to and the other half not :-\

I appreciate your responses.

Take some quiet time to ask yourself frankly:  WHY?
Why live-in together?

If it is to get more of the good times -- sex, socializing, being together....  don't.

If it is to see (baka naman?) you can live together in 1 place   ... don't.   He is not a flatmate.

Approach it like a marriage, without the document and clear-cut societal expectations.
When one gets married ... there is the commitment to a life that will have its ups and downs; there is the commitment that neither one of you is perfect, but you nevertheless will continue to love each other even when unlovable....   there is the commitment to shared goals and dreams  (not shared expenses lang).

If you can gamble on your partner's level of commitment, then go do it.
But if you have doubts ...  just like getting married... don't do it.

Personally, I would want my daughter/s later on to live-in 1st before committing to marriage, before having kids.  It is wise to get the tedious stuff of getting used to each other out of the way 1st. 
Now I pray that my husband doesn't come across this; otherwise,  my obituary may be published before my due life deadline arrives. 


 

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