live-in or not?

[super bratinella]

^Thank you for that very inspiring message sis!! God bless!!

[summerchic]

Im ok with live-in, parang trial period between you and your partner.

[khaleesiCersei]

Pro live in. I dont think every woman wants marriage from a guy she's moved in with. Some are for practical reasons..iba na ang panahon ngayon

[nixiquita]

pro. As long as we have plans of getting married any time soon. Who wouldnt wanna get married to the person they TRULY love? marriage isnt only all drama and hassle, bakit? Sino ba nagsabing imbitahin ang buong baranggay at magprepare ng bonggang bongga. Its the ceremony. God's blessing. The officiation. The sacrament. The entire sanctity of the union. Yun ang importante.

[Jaguar.Paw]

against ako sa live in. di ko magets ang logic e. trial period? what for? so pag di nag work madali makakaalis? madami ang nag lilive in and ended up marrying each other. ang siste? minsan mas matagal pa ang live in time nila kesa as married couple. so hindi mo rin ma ga guarantee na trial period nga ito.

sa case namin ni bf.. may bahay sya, may bahay ako so bakit kelangan pa mag live in? we can see and go out anytime naman. mukhang sukdulan na yung everytime magkasama! hahaha dadating din naman kami don if ever magpakasal kami so why rush?

[psyche29]

pro.

2 years bf/gf, 1.5 years LDR, 4 years live in. 1 month married.

we decided to stay in one house not because we have plans of getting married but we just wanted to be with each other as much as possible. we didn't choose to stay together just to see if we are compatible or not. we love being together. but yes, we don' want to commit to something just because of a contract, which is the reason we have not thought of marriage earlier. after 4 years of living in, 2 months before our wedding is when we planned it. we have been contented for so long, we have chosen to stay despite of all the problems we encountered, and now, the only difference that we have in our relationship are just the rings around our fingers. the choice to be with each other has already been sealed long before the contract.

[lovely_carrot]

After 2 failed live it relationships, parang ayoko na. The first one kasi 2 months into the relationship nagkababy na kami, syempre ayoko naman matali agad sa tatay nya kasi bago pa lang kami, we lasted for 3 years kasi he cheated on me. So my mindset that time is tama desisyon ko na wag magpakasal.

When another BF came, we decided to live together after 8 months BF/GF, colleagues na kami for 2 years. The relationship lasted for 5.5 years. Ewan ko dun, may issues sya sa ex ko before him kasi nga naguusap kami, syempre as co-parents kailangan yun e.  Feeling ko nagsawa sya, baka napraning din (since nagbarko sya for the lat 2 years, 2 lang naman yun - yung nasa barko magloloko or yung naiwan) feeling nya ako yun nagloloko kahit wala naman. Ang ending, goodbye din.

May pros and cons din kasi ang live in and marriage life. I want something like Kurt Russel and Goldie Hawn pero at the same time, gusto ko din ng legal wife status. Now I don't know. In my case damned if you do, damned if you don't. So hindi ko pa talaga sya iniisip.

[insanelypurpleprincess]

My personal take is that I totally respect the decision of those who decide to take the plunge and get into the live-in set-up. However, my personal preference... living in before marriage is just not my thing.

[alice_alice]

No no for me. Takot ako sa parents ko but more than that I want to get married muna.

Growing up I heard stories from my lola about my second cousins na nakipagtanan, nabuntis ng maaga, naging kabit, nakipaglive in tapos iniwan nakikita ko paano sila napariwara yung iba nagsisi yung iba wala lang. Seeing my aunts and uncles na nadidisappoint kasi nagkaganon made me realize na ako personally ayoko ilagay sa ganyang sitwasyon ang pamilya ko, iyong madisappoint sila saken.

Conservative kasi talaga parents ko kaya di talaga ito pwede.

Pero nakikita ko sa iba kong kakilala na nagwork out naman relationship nila when they moved in together may blessing pa nga ng parents nila. Meron naman walang blessing ng parents pero prinove nila na they made the right choice and ayun nga naprove naman nila na seryoso sila sa relasyon nila di naman sila napariwara. Depende lang talaga sa tao yan eh kung ano preference nila. Whatever works.

[det060403]

Even when i asked my husband's opinion on this sabi niya he prefers to have God's blessings first... Also, hindi din daw siya papayagan ng parents niya. Hehe I admire his respect towards his parents.

[insanelypurpleprincess]

^ You've got a good man there sis. So nice to hear that even men want to get married first talaga.

[det060403]

^Yes Nakakatuwa. Saludo din ako sa parents niya kung pano nila pinalaki silang magkakapatid. 

[TysLolakins]

as a parent with grown children, i have no problem if they decide to live together first with their bf/gf.  but my daughter, who's married now,  was the one who didn't want to do this setup,  she wanted to get married first.  my son din who's in a long term relationship na, ayaw din. mas liberal pa yata kami sa mga anak namen, ha ha ha. 

[purple.strawberry]

Okay lang sa'kin live in. Haven't experienced it though so there's a chance magbago din isip ko haha. I think kase makikilala niyo talaga isa't isa when you're living together na.

[saymynameangelica]

Before when I was in college I really doesn't want this kind of set up but when I grew up I became more open minded to it. I see nothing's wrong with it as long as both person who will be in it are mature enough for the possible things that will happen.

I'm living in with my (a year and a half) bf for about 5 months now here in Thailand. We're both adults and have our own job. There are pros and cons about our set up but I will say that it's more the pros, because I know more about him. We became more natural in acting around each other. No prententions and we learned to accept those not so good things about each other.

[Jamann]

It's okay for me atleast alam namen kung kaya namen, and mas makikilala namen yung isa't isa. Pero syempre gusto ko din ikasal muna. Hayst ang gulo, pero pareho kong gusto

[slickchick]

sa case namin ni bf.. may bahay sya, may bahay ako so bakit kelangan pa mag live in? we can see and go out anytime naman. mukhang sukdulan na yung everytime magkasama! hahaha dadating din naman kami don if ever magpakasal kami so why rush?

same here sis.. bf has his own house, i'm staying in my parents' condo unit (pero ako nagmi-maintain)... since we're both of legal age na (30's), we can meet and go out anytime we want, so di na kami nagmamadali.. hahah!

since i have a son, if ever my guy and i decide to live together, i prefer to stay in our own place - hindi sa house nila, hindi din sa house ng parents ko... para lang nasa neutral territory kami.. hehe.. pero since medyo bago pa lang naman kami ng guy ko - more than 6 months, but less than a year - we have not yet discussed it, but we're both open to it.. pero yung ate ng guy ko said that she really wants us to get married, na kung may pera lang daw sya ngayon, ipapakasal na nya kami... 

[insanelypurpleprincess]

slickchick, ibang klase talaga yung future SIL mo.. nakakatuwa sobra. Mas excited pa kaysa sayo noh? Anyway, what you said made a lot of sense... more consideration, careful thought and planning needed since there's your son to consider talaga I am so intrigued with your son na talaga (off topic!), but I bet he is a cutie pie!!!

[slickchick]

^ true sis.. i really have to consider my son in any decision i will be taking - be it career plans or even yung pagpasok ko sa isang new relationship. medyo swerte lang ako kasi my guy and his family knows about my son, and natanggap naman nila kami (packaged deal.. hehe.. ). swerte din lang ako sis, because my guy's ate is really ok and cool talaga personality nya. [textspeak!] nga ni bf, nagulat at thankful daw sya kasi nag-click daw kme ng ate nya, kasi notorious daw si ate nya sa mga naging ex nya before. hahaha! naku sis, my son is a typical 8-year old - fun-loving pero ubod ng kulit! hahaha!

[simang]

Pag kasal kasi mahirap umalis. Mahirap mag hiwalay. Pag nag aaway kami lakgi ko sinasabi na kaya ko syang iwan dahil di naman kami kasal. Pag kinasal kami, ano pang massabi kong litanya? Parang no looking back na yun for me. Ang pananaw ko nga ngayon na pagkasal ang babae wala na syang power, tatanggapin na lang nya ang isang relasyon na magulo at kung anong meron na lang. Pag di kayo kasal may choice ka. Sabi nga nila di mo malalaman ang tunay na ugali ng tao hangga't di mo sya nakakasama. Pano pag nakita mo yung tunay na "sya" after ng wedding? Mahirap mag hiwalay agad agad nun. Pano kung dumating yung tamang tao para sayo? yung tunay na kaligayahan mo? Makukulong ka na lang sa nakaraan mo? kailangan mo pa mag pa-anul para sumaya.

I don't see myself getting married talaga e. ewan ko ba.

Hmm, living together when you're married is staying together. That despite the arguments, it's sticking to your vows, it's committing to the sacrament. The power to walk away, to pursue other options, to look for greater and better things, you exercise that before getting married. That's why you marry the person eh -- because out of all the options you had, you chose to be with that person for the rest of your life. That's why when you decide to marry, you have to take the whole of the person. If you can't accept a flaw, then don't get married hoping na magbabago pa naman. Kaya ang kasal ay pinag iisipan, pinaghahandaan. Kase as you said, you have to be with the right person na talagang magpapasaya sayo. If you're living with someone na gusto mo eh sure na may escape ka when the going gets tough, eh baka nga hindi sya ang tamang tao para sayo.

---
Anyway, as for living together, I am not against those who choose to. Personally though, tama na yung weekend magkasama kami, or nakaktravel kami alone together. I want to enjoy the bf-gf phase muna. In less than a year we'll be living under one roof na naman so I can wait.