Does marriage counseling help?

[akosiinay]

I badly need this, Hirap maka move on, gusto na ng peace of mind

[bump]

In our case no. Lumala pa ang problema. Why? The counselor told me why should I know everything to forgive? Tumatak sa isip ng asawa ko yun. I learned kasi na the person has to ask for aplogy and w/o telling your sins walang maramdamang remorse yung taong nakasakit syo. Its like sorry na pero will do it again. In other words totoo yun hindi pwede mag sorry w/o saying eto nagawa ko patawarin mo ako dahil it was written by Dr. Gary Chapman at eto rin tinuro ng Retrouvaille samin.

We went to Cefam in Ateneo by the way. Sorry pero bad trip sila dahil meron pa sabihin sayo ang counselor on your 1st visit na.....IF YOU CAN'T FIX YOUR MARRIAGE, WE WILL HELP YOU HOW TO SEPARATE. We are blessed that we stopped goi g there. Retrouvaille is very different from counseling. Ikaw at partner mo mismo maka realize ng mali nyo. Even our kids are asking us about it. Mas makikilala nyo ang isat isa

[maiandra]

kelan kaya next na retrouvaille? wala kasi yung sked sa website nila e

[augots]

meron bang nagcounsel kahit gf/bf pa lang?

[crazycoolchic19]

Yes it helps big time:) we attended a marriage encounter weekend seminar 3 years ago..nabunutan ako ng tinik sa dibdib,

[augots]

Marriage encounter? Were you already engaged at the time? Kami kasi hindi pa. Iniisip kasi namin to go through a counseling muna at least to see if some of the things na hindi namin napagkakasunduan as bf/gf ay maaayos when we eventually get married.

[SirChief]

prayers po would definitely help..

[ayami]

Iniisip ko tuloy, yung mga couple kaya sa mga bansang hindi importante ang religion (like Japan) truly happy? Kasi I have older Japanese students, they don't believe in the Christian God syempre and I think they're happy with their relationship naman.

[fegloria1954]

In our case no. Lumala pa ang problema. Why? The counselor told me why should I know everything to forgive? Tumatak sa isip ng asawa ko yun. I learned kasi na the person has to ask for aplogy and w/o telling your sins walang maramdamang remorse yung taong nakasakit syo. Its like sorry na pero will do it again. In other words totoo yun hindi pwede mag sorry w/o saying eto nagawa ko patawarin mo ako dahil it was written by Dr. Gary Chapman at eto rin tinuro ng Retrouvaille samin.

We went to Cefam in Ateneo by the way. Sorry pero bad trip sila dahil meron pa sabihin sayo ang counselor on your 1st visit na.....IF YOU CAN'T FIX YOUR MARRIAGE, WE WILL HELP YOU HOW TO SEPARATE. We are blessed that we stopped goi g there. Retrouvaille is very different from counseling. Ikaw at partner mo mismo maka realize ng mali nyo. Even our kids are asking us about it. Mas makikilala nyo ang isat isa

Hi bump!

Is it possible we know each other?  We went to the same program.

Mommy Fe (that is what they call me here)
Fe (of Mani) Gloria

[Girltalker2]

meron bang nagcounsel kahit gf/bf pa lang?

there is such a thing for engaged couples, part nga ata ito ng seminar bago magpakasal. parang retreat.

[fegloria1954]

kelan kaya next na retrouvaille? wala kasi yung sked sa website nila e

maiandra, the information you need is in the Girltalker Announcements section.  The next one will start with a weekend on Sept. 13-15

[fegloria1954]

there is such a thing for engaged couples, part nga ata ito ng seminar bago magpakasal. parang retreat.

Yes, seminar that starts Saturday morning and is completed Sunday afternoon.  It is called Catholic Engaged Encounter.

The seminar is such that after completing it, the two of you can decide whether you can proceed further with your engagement and go on to marriage - or not anymore.

[yanmae]

depends....i've seen friends going through this, mostly dun sa ateneo-led org (forgot the name).... most failed, some had good results....

success rate factors are definitely higher if and only if the two involved parties are willing to go through it and definitely, those who failed laging ang wife lang ang may gusto to go through the counselling process.....

ika nga, it takes two to tango hope this helps!

Agree ako sayo sis. Gusto ko rin sana kaso d naman mahilig si husband sa ganyan. 1 year palang kame pero kung mag away kame wagas. Gusto ko ng matiwasay na marriage pero ayaw kong ako lang mag pasensha/magcompromise parati. Paano nya malalaman pagkukulang nya dba? Sama maisipan nya magpa counsel baka sakaling parehas kameng mag mature at umayos pagsasama namin

[firebug]

Meron ba kayong kilala na non sectarian? Yung parang ang approach is focus on communication or other techniques. Pareho naman kaming willing to go to counselling kaya lang sometimes you need someone else to make you realize na this is wrong or that is unfair.

[mic5syxxx]

you can try  this. Puede siya sa hindi married couples, non sectarian and hindi priest ang  maghandle http://relationshipstherapy.com/

[pinkcoyote]

Hello dear wives,

You might want to invite your husbands or other couple friends to attend a Marriage Encounter Weekend this coming Nov. 7-9, 2014 (Friday evening upto Sunday  afternoon) in BLD Dasmarinas, Cavite.

My husband and I attended this a year ago, and I was able to really forgive what he did in the past and put it all behind me, I also saw how much he loved me kahit wala syang masyadong sinabi. Hindi kasi talaga sya ma-words, hehe but I felt it, it showed, and continue to show upto now, parang bagong kasal uli (we're almost 10 years married). Na-open talaga ang communication lines namin and we get to understand each other's topak so to speak

PM me if you're interested, we  are one of the couple sponsors/organizers. Thanks!
Here's the invitation:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152828649704750&set=a.73539014749.97578.658159749&type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-ak-xpa1%2Ft31.0-8%2F10264180_10152828649704750_8334968185253143171_o.jpg&smallsrc=https%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-ak-xpa1%2Fv%2Ft1.0-9%2F1393475_10152828649704750_8334968185253143171_n.jpg%3Foh%3D2446054d082044ea02a670ebebe42982%26oe%3D54F3B0D7%26__gda__%3D1421117629_b4f37176790a182b25a2f409d6004af1&size=1250%2C1250

[Girltalker2]

Marriage encounter (ME) help as we have witnessed to some couples.  But you also have to be wary na it is not a magical formula for marriages. May mga nag-attend din ng ME na marriages na hindi nagwork out.  So bottomline talaga is kayong dalawa.  Both husband and wife should be open to communication, and willing to listen and understand, and work on the marriage.  If one party fails, nagkukunyari lang mag attend pero di sincere/di willing, it can never work.

Iniisip ko tuloy, yung mga couple kaya sa mga bansang hindi importante ang religion (like Japan) truly happy? Kasi I have older Japanese students, they don't believe in the Christian God syempre and I think they're happy with their relationship naman.

Kakaiba ang culture ng mga Japanese. Mas "committed" sila at mas matiisin. If you will observe also, they seldom marry outside their race.  Kasi kung malakas ang commitment ng isa't isa, nagwo work out din naman ang marriage, they do not usually think of their own happiness but more of ano ang magagawa nila para may silbi sila sa family at society. And they think of this as their "role" to play in the family. Kahit ang husbands nila subsob sa trabaho 24/7, ok lang because both husband and wife 'accept' it as the duty of the husbands. 

For Europeans naman naisip ko nga, sa mga non-Christian, parang ganun din 50-50. Some are happy while some are not. Pero sa kanila, mas madali maghiwalay, tsaka mas madali din magsama (cohabitation). May laws din sila honoring live in partners sa beneficiaries, etc.  And truly, mas nag iisip sila kung ang partner nila ay karapat dapat ba for them - they evaluate before they commit. 

Sa Pinas naman, it is more of - nagkataon kung sino ang GF/BF mo during the time na gusto mo na ikasal, kaya puede na iyan.  Kaso mas konti ang hiwalayan noong araw kasi mas "committed" ang mga tao sa marriage.  These days sa dami ng temptations (isama mo na ang internet at FB), less committed ang mga tao kung hindi sila masaya or contented.  Kaya if religion steps in, somehow, couples are guided to be focused on their marriage and discipline themselves not to be tempted to third parties and to always respect their partners. Religion helps, but not all the time din. Pero nakakapagtaka nga rin, for a Catholic nation like Pinas, ang rampant ng cheating.  Kasi siguro hindi masyado "internalized" (truly practiced) ang religion.  I am not staying in Manila and I can see the difference on how people in Manila take for granted their religion (at least sa religion ko) as compared to Catholics in other countries.

[pinkcoyote]

^agree, that ME is not a magic formula. Kailangan talaga ang willingness from both couple. In some, I see na yung wives ang may problema, they bring their husbands sa ME thinking that they can get kakampi duon, without realizing na sila din may fault.. so it should really be 2-way.

I'm so excited for the upcoming ME that we're sponsoring this November. I pray that the couples joining it would be blessed same way as we were blessed during our ME last year.

[momlory]

Any recommended seminar for married couple on how to strengthen relationship? Ok  naman kami ng hubby ko. Nagsuggest lang siya na gusto niya umattend sa mga marriage seminar para mapatibay pa yung samahan namin. Thanks!

[The Greatest Is LOVE]

isa 'to sa mga katanungan ko, bakt kami hindi dumaan sa ganitong proseso
bago sya totally nakapagdecide na hiwalayan ako...

hindi naman ganun kagrabeh sa tingin ko kasalanan ko para mabilis nya ko hiwalayan..
kung dumaan kaya kami sa marriage counselling, na-save kaya marriage namin?