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Author Topic: too emotional, too sensitive.. am i normal?  (Read 1929 times)

bipolarbear

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too emotional, too sensitive.. am i normal?
« on: January 28, 2016, 06:02:32 am »
just a brief background, i grew up in a family where i never felt loved and my parents were fighting all the time that it has become a norm na sa house namin.

when i was younger, my sister and i fights everyday. we are each other's mortal enemy when we were younger.

growing up, i usually get what i want and i am a spoiled brat. i never had anyone i look up to as a role model so everything na natutunan ko is i learned them through my mistakes. worse mistakes.

i didnt know na when u visit a friend's house, u have to greet the mom pala, or say hi to everyone that is in that house. i will just look at them or try to smile. hindi ako marunong makisama kasi sanay ako na sila ang nakikisama sa akin. i didnt know na other person matters too. i feel bad having no manners but i learned these things as i was getting old and watch people din on how to act. sometimes i dunno na if i create a different persona ba. i just feel stupid for not knowing these things before.

my first BF in college, i will always push him away. and always ask for his attention. if i didnt get it, aawayin ko sya and will hurt him, say bad things. like end of the world na when i get mad. and super jealous ako in everything. even his mom i get jealous and yung close friend nya na girl who likes him, i get jealous too, i did this to him everyday, then make suyo the next day pag lumamig na ulo ko nawala na topak.  will give him gifts, flowers, cake, etc ofcourse, my actions pushed him away over time. natiis nya for a few years but syempre may limit din ang tao

he found another girl na naging 3rd party. he did this on our 3rd year but i accepted him. i had my 3rd party too as a revenge pero he accepted me. 4 years later we broke up bec of my attitude and our relationship was a mess na. i realized all my mistakes na maybe kaya he had a 3rd party kasi he was looking for heaven when all i give him is hell. especially when i found out about his cheating.

few years later, i know na saan ako nagkamali and i have moved on and had another BF. i realized na ok i will remain faithful and all, but one thing i cannot change is yung pag away sa BF ko whenever i feel na he takes me forgranted or neglect me.

i decided to change kasi i know and noticed through other people na it is not right and nahuhurt ko sila bec of my self issues.

we are in long distance relationship. may times na we got nothing to talk about na except what happened to my day  and when i feel bored i will over think his texts and make an issue out of it then since i always misunderstood him, nag aaway na kame.

when we were together, bigla na lang ako magkaka outburst and will get mad lalo pag stressed or gutom or overwhelmed with a lot of things. sya napagbubuntungan ko.

nung umalis na sya, he was stranded sa airport and stayed sa house ng friend nya na girl and nagalit ako saying nagpastranded sya para makatulog sa house nung girl. i know he is faithful pero ginawan ko ng issue.

may iba pang instances na i blew everything out of proportion and i said a lot of mean things to him and that made him question everything. when i asked what he means he said  he question his decisions and choices. to me, it sounded na he questions if he still wants me or not. his friend said to her, it sounded that he questions the future.

he told me na i should seek help, so nagpaappointment ako sa psychiatrist. first time pa lang so wala pang evaluation..

i know na i shouldnt blame anyone but me. i may have grown up with that kind of family and feeling ko nagagaya ko what they are doing. i know it is not right, and i should not blame them. kaya i am seeking help.

maybe i am too sensitive din. when i feel na he doesnt love me i always ask validation or to make me feel otherwise, if he cant, nagaaway na kame kasi hindi nya gets ano gusto ko.

i also look in some couples on how they do it, their daily mundane life. what they do, etc kasi i wanna know how i should be ba.

my question is, for couples na LDR, if u got nothing to talk about or u feel na he doesnt love u, what do u do? do u tell the partner how u feel? or u ignore that feeling?

if u feel worried and paranoid, what do u do? i know i shouldnt tell him those paranoia's especially if i have no concrete proof but what do u do? i cannot just keep it to myself. or dismiss the thought or feeling. i feel so abnormal.

i feel baliw ako since he asked me to go to a psychiatrist, and sometimes i feel bad about it kasi diba when someone loves u he should accept u, flaw and all, kaso i feel na he only loves me in good times. which i know he doesnt. makes me think what's gonna happen in the future if may super big issue na talaga.. :(
« Last Edit: January 28, 2016, 08:59:49 am by bipolarbear »

ohcmon

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Re: am i normal?
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2016, 09:05:57 am »
Hindi naman siguro sa hindi niya tanggap flaws mo. IMO he just wants to help you overcome them, especially since you had a rough childhood. Iniisip siguro ni BF na by doing so, magiging more positive ang disposition mo, and mas maaayos ang relationship niyo overall.

Gusto ka niya tulungan imbes na iwanan ka na lang basta dahil sa ugali mo, which some guys would not think twice about doing. It's actually a sweet gesture if you think about it. :)

Appreciate mo na lang sis, and do not take it negatively. He just wants you to be a better person.

junetwentythree

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Re: am i normal?
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2016, 09:08:27 am »
Question... so you call yourself bipolarbear... is it because you've been diagnosed as having bipolar disorder? Because it seems you may actually know the answer to your own question. No, your behavior is not normal, and I suggest you seek help. We all go through mood swings and such but extreme behavioral changes that you go through might be due to something more chemical. It also doesn't help that you grew up in a bad environment. I would suggest that you consult with a medical professional about your issues. Get over that stigma that you're 'crazy' because you're not. You're just in a bad situation, perhaps it's in your genetics and it's not your fault. So get help, as soon as possible. You may find that this is the one thing that will change your life forever.

simang

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Re: too emotional, too sensitive.. am i normal?
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2016, 09:22:42 am »
You have to choose your battles. Not every away is worth it.

Also, imagine yourself being in your partner's shoes. Imagine being the calm one, and your boyfriend naman being the overly emotional one (or the 'crazy' one). Imagine mo lang how would you feel. Will you be genuinely happy? Are you just going to accept and tolerate his 'flaws'?

Your boyfriend suggesting you go seek professional advice is his way of helping you. Appreciate that.

bipolarbear

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Re: too emotional, too sensitive.. am i normal?
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2016, 10:49:42 am »
^^i dont know if i have bipolar disorder kasi my next appointment is yet to be scheduled pa. i guess i am? or i have HPD. i dont really know. i live alone now. since college i moved out of the house. but maybe nadadala ko pa rin my bad attitude. i feel bad for being like this.

^thank you. for some reason i look things negatively nga i noticed that too.. and i cant help it once nag start na sya mag isip ng negative stuff .. when i get upset i'm uncontrollable din.

i have been telling myself to find a hobby to keep me busy. now i will enroll myself sa gym na para talaga i have to go.  and keep myself from thinking negative stuff

i keep myself away from people because i am too afraid to get judged. well truth hurts. i know what my problem is but i dont know how to fix it. :(

i wish i can be as normal as other girls out there. it's so depressing. :'(

quinone

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Re: too emotional, too sensitive.. am i normal?
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2016, 12:25:31 pm »
are you sure this is directly related to your mental health? are you also like this towards your friends? para kasing you sound needy/selfish lang? baka kulang ka lang sa empathy? also, hindi lahat kasi ng tao pwede sa LDR. are you really emotionally mature enough to handle a relationship? are you the controlling type? a relationship is a partnership kasi.

kapag naiinis ako, just like you kailangan magsalita ako. i can't keep it to myself. luckily, minsan may ginagawa ako so lahat ng masama na nasa isip ko iniisip ko na, so by the time magsasalita na ako, maayos na akong kausap.

minsan kasi kapag inisip natin we are like this because we are sick, parang nawawala na yung drive to change ourselves for the better. it becomes an excuse for bad behavior.

besides getting a hobby like reading, gaming, gym... nourish your spirit as well, develop your relationship with God (He is the only one who can change your heart) or if you are not into that, you can do a little social work/charity?

 

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