attracted to friend's boyfriend (There is an update. Please open.)

[iceheaven31]

The threadstarter doesn't want or need anyone's advice.

ETO talaga yun e.

about kay piloto boylet: hindi na siguro siya masaya sa gf niya, so naghahanap siya ng dahilan para hiwalayan niya. there you are young_maiden, ikaw ang kumagat sa bait, so dahil sa oras niya sayo nagkakaron na siya ng rason na unti-unting magbbreak sa kanila ng gf niya.

pero para sayo young_maiden: ewan ko sayo. haahahahahhaha. kahit ano pa sabihin namin dito ayaw mo talaga bitawan yang "closure" / "real intentions" kay lalaki. tsaka sa dami ng mga lalaking taken na pinatulan mo, di pa ba sapat yung dahilan na may malalandi at mayayaman lang talagang mga lalaki? pero dahil GGSS ka at gora ka pa rin sa ganyang setup kahit alam mong taken si piloto, then sige, go ahead. bahala ka na. hindi mo naman kailangan ng advise namin. sarado ang utak mo. hindi mo kayang tanggapin na malandi ka lang rin talaga at naghahanap ka lang rin talaga ng affirmation na tama ang ginagawa mong mali. bow.

[young_maiden]

^ so weird. mga friends ko in real life supportive sa decision ko kausapin siya. dito sa GT hindi.

kung GGSS tingin mo sa akin, bahala ka. basta ako nagpapasalamat lang ako sa mga taong puro compliments sinasabi sa looks ko.

paano mo nasabing marami na ako pinatulang taken? si married guy at piloto pa lang naman. so pagnakadalawa na, marami na agad?

kung karmahin man ako sa pinagagawa ko, i am ready. honestly, hindi nga ako naniniwala sa karma eh. marami ako kakilala na mas salbahe at malandi pa sa akin pero sila pa masaya ngayon at mukhang hindi naman kinakarma.

oops. off-topic na. sorry. :-)

[Maia_Cache]

i-confront na yan!

[malditch0089]

2 bagay lang pinagpapasalamat ko na di kita kilala threadstarter:
1. Baka makutusan kita sa kagagahan at kalandian mo.. sorry for the term
2. Baka agawin mo bf ko.. hahaha

Sarado utak mo sis, useless advice ng mga tao dito. Goodluck na lang dyan sa pinasok mo. Sana lang last na yan, wag ka ng manira ng relasyon ng may relasyon. Kbye!

[Rory_Lorelie_Gilmore]

Sis TS, Nabuhay 1 thread mo, yung "How do you prove to men that you are worth the effort too? " may nagcomment kasi, and as usual boylet issue ka na naman with Fcuk boys. Haha!

Simula 2018, isa sa mga new year's resolution ko is to stop entertaining pakboys lalo na yung may mga gf at asawa na. I will never be a third party again. Ikaw mismo nagsabi nyan, ha kino- quote lang kita.

Dami pa, dami ka pa ganyan, pare pareho lang din advise sayo ng mga GTer, tapos paulit ulit lang din usually mga tanong at issues mo.

Bottom line, men doesn't respect you, because you do not respect yourself neither.

Jusko ka Ate Gurlll haha! Tuwang tuwa mga lalake bastus-bastusin ka, at isex sex ka lang, easy mo kasing target, konting bati sayo na maganda ka, tuwang tuwa ka na haha ano ka HS?! F na F mo din kasi atensyon. Easy prey.

We are what we attract, if you ALWAYS attract men na trash at lowest of the low, time to reflect my dear.

Wag na mga lalake problemahin mo, sarili mo dapat intindihin mo. Something's wrong with you, malinaw pa yan sa sikat ng araw.

[Shadow Angel]

Ang haba na pala ng sagutan dito.
Hindi kita kilala mg personal kaya wag mo isipin inaatak kita general comment ko yan sa ganyan situation. Kung na inis ka sa comment ko walang wala pa yan sa mafefeel ng gf ni piloto masakit un nag cheat ang bf/asawa mo peeo mas masakit kung kakilala mo.

Tutal di ka naman baguhan dito di ko na masyadong isusugar coat mga words ko. Lawyer ka pero bakit ganun reasoning mo ang immature? Mas gusto mo kamong weak sa pagibig kung ganyan pala result ng weak sa pag ibig di bale na lang. Atleast if weak ka sa career pede ka mag take ng training courses sa pag ibig sarili mo kalaban mo.

Di ka naniniwala sa karma ok lang yan walang kaso dyan. Ako atheist ako pero di ko ginagawang reason yan para makasakit ng iba. Ang stand ko sa life as long as alam ko good citizen ako, walang nasasaktan tao at may humanity sa pagkatao ko ok na ako dun. Ikaw anong stand mo sa buhay?

Paano ka ba nakawala sa dun sa married guy na karelasyon mo dati? Ginusto mo ba talaga makawala or dahil alam mong talo ka kasi nafeel mo hindi iiwan un legal wife or hindi agad mahihiwalayan kaya nag exit ka na? Gusto mo siguro un sure winner ka ikaw agad ang pipiliin? In the first place pwede naman di papiliin dahil nakikigulo ka lang.

Di ko alam kung ang bobo ko kasi di ko magets un reasoning mo na need mo ng closure.

May personal issues ka ba? Or mababa ang self esteem mo kaya need mo ng challenge at validation?

Ito lang ha bilang sa ngayon happily married ako. Iba ang feeling kapag un lalaki nakasama mo sayong sayo lang nakuha mo ng walang issue or walang nasasaktan na ibang tao. Hindi rin ako naniniwala sa love lang kaya gets kita dyan sa kawave length mo dapat ang partner mo. Hindi ako masyadong magaling sa wordings or  explanation sa typing. Masasabi ko lang alam ko ang worth ko kaya un taong pinapapasok ko sa buhay ko dapat worth it sa time, love at emotions na invest ko sa kanya.

Alam ko ikaw pa rin masusunod pero masasabi ko lang nasaan ang pagiging babae mo or humanity mo? Ang 3rd party talaga iisa lang ang shapes at background. Nagkakaiba lang kayo ng reasoning pero iisa lang denominator nyo.

[Girltalker2]

Di ko maintindihan talaga why confused women want CLOSURE, magconfront, magtanong - sa isang lalaki na sya mismo di alam ang sagot.

Ending Wala karin mapapala kasi in the first place, the guy is an *sshole. He is a liar. So he can just say anything and will leave you
- either more confused OR
- Mabilog ulo mo na paniwalang paniwala sa lies nya

Lawyer ka, you want proof from a credible source. Obvious naman you won?t ask the criminal if he did it and what?s his plan and just believe him.

May point naman yung Sabi mo na Hatid sundo ka kaya malamang May gusto sya sayo. Yes possible. But that doesn?t mean ikaw pipiliin nya, kasi in the first place he doesn?t feel the need to choose naman eh. Andyan gf nya. Ready ka rin naman I-entertain sya, so why does he have to choose.
Pano kung gusto nya Kayong 2? And who are you in his life to demand an answer.

Ewan ko Lang, if ever ikaw piliin nya. IF. Just keep your eyes open coz possible na he will do the same to you. Just imagine talking about your shortcomings to some other chick while kayo pa. What an *sshole talaga.

[airish_2]

Pwede na gumawa si TS ng case digest ng mga thread of advice dito.

[Shadow Angel]

Title kasi ng thread friend's bf kaya I assume na friends nga kayo. Bigla naging acquaintance na lang. Lalo ka pa naconfuse kasi no sex involve di pa ba f*boy un sinisiraan gf sayo para lang makita positive side mo. Paano mo magugustuhan ang lalaking from the start pa lang di na faithful or isa standard mo na dapat complicated situation para may thrill. Di mo agad sasagutin once na nakipaghiwalay sa gf kasi ayaw mo maging rebound so ok lang maging 3rd party basta wag lang maging rebound? Ang gulo ng games mo. Ang layo na agad ng narating mo naguumpisa pa lang kayo.

 Akala ko you will be more wiser and lesson learned na dapat un nangyari before parang start lang pala un ng gusto mong maging goal sa life.

Nawawala respecto ko sa babae kahit anong mang istatus sa buhay the moment na makisawsaw sa relasyon ng iba sinasadya man o hindi.

Hindi lang ikaw ang niligawan o may nag paramdam ng mga lalaking may sabit na pero di lahat ng babae katulad mo sasakyan pa un kagaguhan ng lalaki.

[glamorosa_09]

Ang hula ko eh hindi malayong may narcissistic feature itong si guy. Why? Una, he is deliberately pursuing a gf's old friend despite being in a committed relationship. Pangalawa, he is devaluing his gf by subtle put-downs in front of you (magastos, tamad mag commute).

I know I'm stepping too far ahead by proposing this, and don't have enough info/data, pero kasi easy target ka sa mga ganito so worth speculating na rin.

Right now, he is making you feel special
-- constantly liking your posts
-- hatid after date
-- long phonecalls
-- binibida ka at the expense of gf

FYI, there are stages to narcissistic abuse: idealize, devalue, discard. In idealize stage, you are receiving love bombings that leaves you emotionally high. You could be put on a pedestal.

Next you could be devalued by put-downs and withdrawing of affections, just like what he's doing to his gf now. Baka love-bombed din dati si gf, ngayon devalued na sya, nilalaglag mga weaknesses nya. Pag pinili ka nya, discarded na si gf. Sa ginagawa nya ngayon, parang nagiging trapo ang gf nya. The cycle could happen to you, you know.

Not saying I'm right. Just saying be careful. Nov 2018 lang kayo nagkita, sobrang emotionally high ka na di pa tapos ang January.

Good luck with the confrontation since this what you're gearing to...

Dagdag ko na rin, piloto pala ito, marami chicks na stewardess... Di pa sila long-distance ni gf sa lagay ngayon.

[TysLolakins]

makisali na din ako, pero my opinion is not of the majority.
actually i was just talking to my husband about the same scenario,  this was before the thread was even started.  sabi ko sa kanya 'as long as nobody involved is married, everyone is fair game'.  and before you also accuse me of being a home-wrecker/relationship-destroyer, i am not, have not been and never will,  you can go back and check my old posts,  there's nothing there, hahahaha.  i was talking in the context of a harlot seducing a guy already in a relationship (bf/gf stage),  if the guy succumbs, then it only shows how weak he is.  temptations are everywhere,  nobody has control over the actions of other people,  what we have control over is how we react to the situation. and that's exactly the scenario I see we have with TS, pilot and gf.


i actually see where TS is coming from, based on what she posted here.  she didn't seek him out,  he pursued her.  we don't know what the pilot is thinking.  it could be that he actually liked TS more and would rather be with her, that he'd eventually end it with the gf.  OR he could be the *censored* that everybody says he is and string both girls along.
so the only way to find out is for TS to ask him what it's gonna be.


i'm not saying she's totally innocent with her motives,  she admitted to emotional cheating herself.  actually this could have been diffused early on if the first time he showed interest (hatid/sundo, casual date),  she could have easily called him out and say along the lines of "why would you do that, you already have a gf, what would your gf feel if she finds out?"  mga ganon sana so he's forced to show his card right away , pero that's not what happened,  she went with the flow bec she didn't want him to think that she assumes too much. 
i think that's what the majority here is saying,  she kinda encouraged him in a way.


TS admitted to being weak, yes she might be.  but i think it's fair for her to ask him now what his intentions are, given that enough substantial proof has been shown for her to assume anything else.   


anyway, going back to being 'fair game', it's better to find out now the kind of person you're in a relationship with before it's too late like being married.  whatever happens next (after the confrontation) might be best for everyone.  if the pilot is a cheater and leaves the gf, the gf is spared of further heartache.   if the pilot is honest in his feelings for TS, that is, he's going to end his current relationship with the gf and make an honest woman of TS, then a relationship is given a chance,  it's up to them to sustain it.  if the pilot intends to keep both girls and TS is ok with this,  then pilot and TS deserve each other.

[young_maiden]

Jusko ka Ate Gurlll haha! Tuwang tuwa mga lalake bastus-bastusin ka, at isex sex ka lang, easy mo kasing target, konting bati sayo na maganda ka, tuwang tuwa ka na haha ano ka HS?! F na F mo din kasi atensyon. Easy prey.

We are what we attract, if you ALWAYS attract men na trash at lowest of the low, time to reflect my dear.

Wag na mga lalake problemahin mo, sarili mo dapat intindihin mo. Something's wrong with you, malinaw pa yan sa sikat ng araw.

Sis, una sa lahat hindi mo kilala buong pagka-tao ko. I only post what I want to post here. Hindi ka aware sa ibang guys na nireject ko dahil taken, assholes o talagang hindi ko lang sila gusto. Hindi ko naman need i-detalye lahat dito sa GT mga guys na naghahabol di ba. Kung sino lang trip ko i-share dito, yun lang share ko.  May mga decent guys din na lumapit sa akin pero dahil hindi ako iyong tipong paasa at ayaw ko nasasayang ang efforts nila, i reject them agad.

wala ka rin karapatan sabihan ako na konting sabi lang ng maganda,tuwang tuwa at f na f na. hindi mo pa ako lubusan kilala para magconclude ka ng ganyan. in real life, hiyang-hiya ako masabihan ng maganda.

wait, sayang explanation ko. hindi ka naman maniniwala. believe what you want to believe.

^TysLolakins, thank you, sis. natumbok mo.


Good morning, mga sis. Tinatamad na ako mag explain. Paulit-ulit eh. Gusto ko lang naman maging malinaw sino ba ako sa lalaking iyan. That's all. Saka na ako magpost ulit dito kung trip ko mag update sa kung ano man ganap sa amin ni pilot. :-)

[ayi0119]

^ hindi ako advanced magisip, from your own words naman comment ko.

Pero for now, go girl! i-confront na yan ng magkaalaman na! 

[angeljolie]

I'm going to try to be as polite as possible. I want this to be short but I can't promise.

Pansin ko nga din young_maiden na lagi kang third party. And after reading this thread, kung ganyan lahat nagsimula ang pagiging third party mo, I think nasa iyo talaga ang mali. How?

1. You added him on FB. Why? Gusto mo sya maging friend after meeting him at a social? Enough reason for you to add him? I don't think so, especially you knew he's in a relationship. Doesn't matter who the girl is (friend, acquaintance, etc.). He's taken, period.

2. Why did you give your phone numbers? As if di enough ang work number, binigay mo pa mobile. Did he show signs of distress? Sana man lang hinintay mo na sagutin yung tanong mo kung legal advice ba ang hihingin nya. Eh hindi, you found the chance to offer your phone numbers in the guise of gusto mo tumulong.

Lawyer ka (a good one at that, right?) but why do you turn a blind eye to the evidence in your own case? Maganda ka naman siguro kasi nabanggit mo madami nagkakagusto sayo. So maghintay ka ng lalake na walang sabit who would pursue you. Wag kang atat.

I have a friend who's like you. When one of our friends started dating a guy she met online, gumawa sya ng account dun sa online dating site in the guise of looking for her own mate. Pero ang ending, she looked for (chanced upon daw sabi nya) the guy and she said "hi." Nagrespond si guy but you know, the general kind of response. Pinakita nya saken ang convo nila kasi they communicated more than once na daw and he's cheating on our friend na daw, and should we tell her na daw ba. When I saw the convo, she was obviously the one leading it. Pag putol na ang usapan, she would initiate again.

How I see both of you-- you are hungry for validation. Validation na you're better than your friends; na how come they can have happy relationships when you can't. So (maybe, hopefully) unconsciously, you try to disturb a happy relationship because you can't stand seeing other people doing better than you, lalo na pag kakilala o kaibigan mo. Hindi ko alam kung anong sakit yan, but I think you need to seek professional help.

[xtine_orig]

Sis Young_maiden, mukhang marami natriggered dito.  Actually, I do get your point.  I think to be safe, wag ka muna makipagkita sa kanya, para rin hindi ka mahulog (ala Angelica Panganiban). 

Just message him like a friend muna.  If he gets to the point na he's being super sweet, find a way to be neutral.  Saka na tayo umattack pag wala na sha sabit.

[young_maiden]

iyong sinabi kong last post ko na i mean it is my last post to explain na gusto ko siya kausapin para malinaw.

for now, i will post only to answer your opinions, angeljolie and xtine.

^^ sis, wala naman masama kung inadd ko siya sa fb. aware si gf na balak ko gawin yun. rinig na rinig niya sa binyag na sinabihan ko si guy na i-add ko siya. natuwa kasi ako kay guy that day kasi super friendly at palakwento. pilot pa. i have a brother na nangangarap maging pilot someday. so naisip ko gawing acquaintance o friend siya kahit sa fb lang. para just in case need ng brother ko ng help sa pag-aaral sa flying school, may mapagtatanungan kami. the guy is willing to mentor my brother pa.

saka baka maging potential client ko pa si pilot di ba o may marefer siyang client sa akin. in my profession, importante marami kaming connections para marami rin kaming clients. more clients, more income.

i just did not expect na he would ask personal questions sa buhay ko at magpapakita ng interest sa akin. after ng binyag, i thought goodbye na. hanggang fb na lang siya. pati nga paglike niya sa photos ko di ko binigyan ng malisya. sobrang taas naman ng ego ko kung pati paglike sa photos ko eh lagyan ko ng meaning.

^ thank you for the understanding, xtine. sa ngayon, 2 days na kami di nag uusap. nakakaya kong di magparamdam sa kanya ng matagal. siya mostly nauuna magtext o tumawag. it would take me several hours to respond. he asked me out for dinner nung monday. tumanggi ako. nag-iipon pa ako ng lakas prangkahin siya.

[Maia_Cache]

For me ok na iconfront, as long as hindi pa married.
Kapag kasi nagkagusto ka sa isang tao mahirap pigilan yan, nawawala ang right reasoning.
Totoo yung what if he is the one for you and you are the one for him, nagkataon lang na he is in a relationship with the 'not the one' (if ever).
Minsan din kapag may gf/bf ka akala mo mahal mo talaga yung tao na yun, pero may scenarios talaga na you will meet someone na maaatract at magugustuhan mo then dun mo marealize na hindi mo pala talaga mahal yung gf/bf mo.

Pede rin kasi na nafeel nga ni Guy yun kaya nagtry siya to get to know you and reason why no intimate is because for him ibang usapan na kapag intimate na. getting to know stage pede naman na maging conclusion niyo with each other is for friend lang.

It's better to confront para magkadeadline si guy to think if he likes to get to know you more or not. If yes, he should do the right thing and breakup with his gf. If not, you have to leave him for your own good.

[young_maiden]

^ thanks sa malawak mong pag-iisip, sis. virtual hugs for you. :-)

may ikwento akong stories na may "agawan" na involved.

i have a female friend na lawyer din. 10 years na sila ng bf niya. she admitted na inagaw din niya si guy sa ex-gf nito. sabi pa nga niya may nangyari na sa kanila ni guy kahit taken pa si guy nung ex-gf. pero after nung nangyari, the guy broke up with the ex and chose my friend. oh ayan 10 years and counting na sila. the guy never cheated on her sa pagkaka-alam ko.

another example is iyong male officemate ko. he had a five-year relationship with his ex pero he fell in love with someone else. sabi niya never daw niya naisip pakasalan ang ex niya kahit 5 yrs na sila. dito sa new gf nya, 1 year pa lang sila committed, he proposed agad.

i am not saying tama ginawa nila ha at plano ko tularan sila. i am agreeing with our sis here and just saying na nangyayari talaga na kung kailan taken ka, bigla ka ma-fall sa iba. life goes on na lang sa taong na-agrabyado. pana-panahon lang yan. minsan tayo ang nasasaktan. minsan tayo ang nananakit. nasa atin na lang how we would deal with the heartbreak at ang importante din hindi married ang mga involved.

[angeljolie]

^Yan na naman tayo sa need mo for validation. Well, if you think tama ang ginagawa mo, bakit ka namomroblema? Because you know you're stepping on someone's toes. Pero sabi mo nga, sorry na lang sa mga naargabyado.  Kung achievement for you yang ginagawa mo, if it's going to make you proud, eh di go.

[mysterioza_me]

@kiara07, sa ngayon i just want closure from him. that's all.

Alam kong hindi importante ang sasabihin ko dahil nasa baliw na stage ako ng buhay ko. Pero gusto ko lang malaman kung paraan saan ang closure kung hindi naman kayo?

Kung naguguluhan ka kung ano ka sa buhay ni guy, dun pa lang may mali na. I mean kung gusto ka talaga niya hindi ka niya paghuhulain or makikipaglaro ng guessing game sa kung ano at sino ka ba sa buhay niya. Right on the spot bibigyan niya ng label kung para saan ang ginagawa niya at ano intention niya. At kung talagang gusto ka niyan, hiniwalayan niya na ang gf niya at saka ka ni-pursue. Mukhang sa asta niyan sigurista e. Gusto may reserbang gf pa din kung di gumana ang plano sayo. Ingat ka nalang sis. Baka di mo alam sa susunod ikaw na pulutan sa kwentuhan ng mga friends niya. Alam mo na, nakabola ng lawyer.

Saka tama ka sa kwento mo na may matatagal na magkarelasyon pero nauwi sa hiwalayan. Pero isipin mo din na may guys na nagta-try lang talaga ng ibang putahe only to realize na si orig pa din pala talaga ang the best. Kaya wag ka din masyadong hopeful.

Ang tamang gawin hiwalayan niya yung girl at ipursue ka. Hindi yung sila pa tapos pinu-pursue ka. Kung mahal ka niyan hindi yan papayag na magmukha kang masama sa mata ng ibang tao at lalong di ka ilalapit niyan sa gulo. Girl, gulo ang gusto ng lolo mo.