^Mahirap nga talaga maging magulang sis, magkaka-mali at magkakamali tayo...
Ang ultimate goal ko, ay lumaki ang/ang mga anak ko, na masasabi nila sa sarili nila, "mahal ako ng magulang ko." Yung galing sa puso ha, hindi yung galing sa utak na inanalyze, "dahil nagbalat ng buto bilang businessman ang tatay ko, at manager ang nanay ko, kaya alam ko mahal nila ako." Iba ang ramdam sa alam.
So to give an example of some motional needs,
Attention -- may pinapakita o kinukwento sayo ang anak show interest, spend time with each other playing, watching, doing projects etc. Pag early childhood quality+quantity time, di quality lang, sayo/primary caregiver umiikot ang mundo ng bata. Sa teenager, pwede quality time lang, may life na silang sarili.
Affection -- hugs, kisses, tap on the back, i love you, I'm sorry
Appreciation -- praising what they did well, nagpunas ng lamesa, nakinig sayo, tumulong sa ibang bata
Acceptance -- not trying to make/change him into what he's not (gusto maging theo prof ng anak gusto mo businessperson), not comparing him to siblings, not undermining his ambitions, not insulting his choices
Affirmation -- into drawing ba, into dancing or music, affirm it. Galing magdrawing, magsayaw, etc.
Anyway, mahirap iperfect ito. Basta kahit may mangilan ngilan dyan na consistent ka, na mababaon ng anak mo hanggang pagtanda nya, okay na yun. Tska importante rin na your child feels you like him as a person, dahil kung feel nya di mo sya like, he will have a hard time liking himself too, o baka naman sumobra naging narcissistic, inflated ang ego.
Hirap ano, dahil bukod sa physical needs, may emotional needs pa... Physical needs you can delegate sa nanny, but nothing can substitute for the parent/parents' meeting of emotional needs.
At yung nga, bago mag-correct ng bata, mag-punish, magdisiplina, siguraduhin muna ng magulang medyo puno ang love tank ng bata. Mahiya naman silang mangdisiplina kung wala sila quality time and atensyon man lang na binibigay sa bata. Pag busy single parent naman, mas naiintindihan ito ng bata, basta hindi ma-ego si mommy at walang emotional abuse na nagaganap.
A parent's own childhood will also influence his parenting. Yung kulang ng parent nya, pwede nyang sobrahan sa sarili nyang anak. Yung sobra ng parent nya, pwedeng bawasan. Yung pangit na practices pwedeng magaya. Kaya awareness din sa part ng magulang.
In the end, mahirap maging magulang. But the right kind of love will save the day...
