Message to your EX

[abalon95]

HI B,

Gusto kong magalit sa yo. Pero mahal pa rin kasi kita. Ni hindi ka man lang lumaban, sumuko ka agad. I was willing to give you a second chance, pero ayaw mo. It's been 41 days since we officially broke up. Nagkakachat pa rin tayo ngayon kasi I asked pleaded you na we stay friends. Pero in 55 days, pagkatapos na pagkatapos ng birthday ko, magdidisconnect na ko sa yo talaga. For real na. Buo na desisyon ko. Hindi ako makakamove on kung lagi tayong magkakausap. Sabi mo, kaya sobrang nalulungkot yung workmate mo dito kasi wala syang masyadong friends, at ako, I had you. Look at what you've done, I am alone and lonely each passing day. Alam mong introvert ako and I don't make friends easily. Mas nakakadepress kaya tong ginawa mo. I hate what you've done but I still love you. We'll talk on December pag uwi ko alright? One week before ako umuwi, I'll email you na lang. Thank you. Goodbye.

-M

[jasme1211]

Today is Valentines. I'm thinking if I should send him a message. Though, sinabi ko  na naman sa kanya na" kahit sobrang sakit, I'm letting you go". At wala na naman siya rin sinabi. Pero naiisip ko today, magsend ng isa pang message, just saying goodbye for the the last time.

"Sounds desperate, but let me express my feelings for the last time, I had the most unforgettable Valentines with you in 2014, we're walking in the snow, it was a White Valentines for us. But now, another unforgettable Valentines with you, I have to say goodbye to my greatest love. Thank you for making me the happiest for a decade. I wish she will love you as much as I did, never taken you for granted a single day, and makes you happy always which I failed to do."

Aray. Kelangan ko pa ba eto isend sa kanya? Or mas Lalo lang ako mukang kawawa. Pinagpalit na nga, hindi na pinansin. Ano pa ba kelangan kong closure.

[twelvth_goddess]

I may have enjoyed your and your gf's arrest a little too much. Sinabihan ko naman kayo before, do not disturb my peace. Ngayon nagmamakaawa kayo saken. Che.

[warriorheart]

I still pray for you. It's been 2 months but it still hurts. Now you're back in PH. Wala na talaga, ni hindi ka man lang nagpaalam ng personal. But I have nothing but good wishes for you. Sana magonh okay ka na, sana matupad mo mga dreams mo. Sana maging genuinely happy ka. I miss you so much 

[warriorheart]

At the end, ako pa rin ang malambot, ako pa rin ang walang pride. You left me pero for the past 2 months without communication, the only moments I wasn't thinking of you was when I'm in front of my students. As soon as the class is over and I am back to my normal self, my thoughts would automatically drift back to you. I miss you so much I check your fb and your friends' fb almost every 30 mintues or less when I'm not busy. I'm so pathetic I know, pero dun na lang kasi kita pwede makita. I love you. So much. Love you still kahit sayo alam kong wala na.

After almost 2 months of NC I reached out to you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I'm happy to know na okay ka naman na. Ok na rin work mo. Sobrang proud ako sayo. I am still praying for you. I will always pray for you hanggang siguro may dumating na iba na syang magppray for you. I hope you find joy and peace. I really only hope the best for you.

Buong maghapon ngayon hindi ko chineck fb mo or ng friends mo. Ayoko na. Titigil na ako. mamahalin ko naman ang sarili ko. I DESERVE A LOVE AT IT'S PUREST FORM. I DESERVE TO BE HONORED AND RESPECTED AND CHERISHED. I DESERVE THE KIND OF LOVE I AM CAPABLE OF GIVING.

Ngayon ko narealiza na never mo binigay yung 100% mo saken. If you did, hindi sana on and off yung commitment mo, hindi mo sana uunahin yung friends mo, mag-eeffort ka sana to maintain consistent communication lalo na nung nag-LDR tayo. Hindi kas sana magsisinungaling saken. Hindi mo sana ako iiwan. SIguro hindi pa lang talaga ako yung babaenhg pagbibigyan mo ng 100% mo. Ang sakit Sobrang skait tanggapin na hganggang dito na lang talaga tayo. Ang tagal kitang hinintay. Akala ko ikaw na talaga pero hindi pala.

Sana ayusin mo na sarili mo. Sana mas maging discerning ka sa mga taong pipipiliin mo. Mag-iingat ka san a  lagi. Ngayon tapos na ako. Tanggap ko na. Kaya ko to. Kakayanin ko.

[warriorheart]

I thought okay na ako kahapon. Maghapon I did not check your peor di ko napigilan sarili ko kaninang umaga. Ayun wala naman update. Nakita ko yung house nyo, happy ako na okay ka na, na settled ka na sa work. But you know what's painful? Na until now umaasa pa rin ako na once na maging maayos ka babalikan mo ako. Pero hindi. I reached out but you were so cold, so I had to pretend coldness too. I tore some of our pictures together last night, pero yung photo album and yung nasa phone hindi ko pa ata kaya.

Ang sakit ng puso ko ngayon. Naiisp mo pa man  lang kaya ako?

[warriorheart]

It`s been 7 months since you left. Mejo ok na ako ngayon, I still cry from time to time but I've come a long way. Nakita ko yung mga pina-follow and nila-like mo na pictures sa facebook and it broke me. Hindi ka naman dating ganyan, but I guess I never really knew you.

I've managed to unfriend you in my all socmed accounts, sana maka move on na din ako. Sana makalimutan na kita. Sana tumigil na ako na mahalin ka.

Mag-iingat ka sana lagi.

[warriorheart]

I dreamed about you last night. I still miss you a lot.

May napanood ako sa YT, break-ups daw are usually easier on the other party and more difficult on the other. Kasi yung nang-iiwan, usually nai-prpare na nila ang sarili nila na, samantalang yung naiwan, walang kamalay-malay na iiwanan na pala sila. That's why the go thru some sort of emotional breakdown due to the intense feeling of loss.

Kaya pala dati lagi kong iniisip paanong parang napakadali sa'yo ang bumitaw, paanong napakadali sa'yo to go on with life without me, habang ako ay nananatiling malungkot at miserable. Ngayon alam ko na kung bakit.

Saka sa ating dalawa ako kasi yung mas nag-invest. Ako yung mas nagmahal. Ako yung nangarap ng habambuhay kasama ka. Minahal mo din naman ako pero hindi sapat. Hindi sapay para lumaban kahit konti man lang. Hindi sapat para hindi sumuko. Hindi sapat para pililiin mo ang 'tayo'.

I have unfriended you sa socmed. Ngayon wala na kaong alam na kahit ano tungkol sa'yo. At ganun ka din sa akin. Well, it's not as if you're interested. Binati ako ni K nung Valentines Day, at the back of my mind, there was that longing to ask about you, just to know how you are. But I didn't ask. I'm sure you're okay. Saka wala naman na dapat akong pakialam sayo, tulad ng wala ka na ring pakialam asa akin.